What are they thinking?

TreetopTarantula · 2024-03-27T08:30:12+00:00

Watch this. It will answer all of your questions. Divorce Corp.

GoAheadHateMe · 2024-03-27T02:29:36+00:00

Advice - you nailed it. Consider your costs for keeping this going (financial and mental and time) vs long term agreement costs.

$300/mo for 15 years is $54k. And you probably won’t get that to zero. Is it wise to settle for more than you think is actually fair to end it? Absolutely yes.

What my lawyer told me: your ideal offer is her worst day in court. Her ideal offer is your worst day in court. And neither of you want to actually go to and pay for court. Negotiate. Give some. Get some. Move on.

GoHorns1998 · 2024-03-26T18:58:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-03-26T16:52:05+00:00

I’m going through this right now. The system is unfair, especially towards the working spouse. In my case she didn’t work and I was the sole provider, now she’s just sitting on her ass with her parents and just rejecting my very generous offers because they have nothing to lose. I’m paying for her fees and she’s comfortable with the temporary arrangement we have in place. Meanwhile the kids are suffering being amid all this and I’m wasting my time and my money. If we go to court I will make sure she regrets it all.

MartyMcFly7 · 2024-03-26T16:39:59+00:00

We were in a smiliar situation. We didn't have much and the kids were about year from being adults. That didn't stop her from engaging in a huge custody battle and trying to have me evicted. She was being completely unreasonable with her demands and wouldn't budge. She didn't care about the cost, because she was trying to hurt me and assumed the judge would make me pay for it all. In the end, I think it cost us upwards of $80K to get a simple divorce. She ended up having to pay for her own lawyer, but I still had to pay to fight her.

Ecstatic-Shopping313 · 2024-03-26T16:20:24+00:00

Women constantly get bad advice from other women. They lack the capacity to reason or filter out the nonsense from the good advice. They are so highly susceptible to coercion it's a wonder we ever gave them the right to vote at all.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-03-26T16:07:01+00:00

Entitlement, nothing more.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-03-26T15:44:08+00:00

For many, the ones who go by feels only, when they hear it from you they just can’t believe that is all there is. Very reasonable and even generous offers are summarily rejected if made early on. Those early offers then feel like a mistake. Many times it is better to make them work to get the 50%.

An early resolution is very desirable and saves a lot in attorneys fees, emotions and peace of mind. So if you do make a more than generous to get it by offering the 50% plus some of expected attorneys fees savings, make sure she knows it and tell her that future offers will be reduced by any incurred attorney fees.

DivorceDaddy · 2024-03-26T14:34:58+00:00

She's not thinking. She's feeling. Thought and feeling aren't compatible.

Don't let her drag you into her emotions. Do your best to become non-reactive.

Training_Ad1368 · 2024-03-26T12:53:28+00:00

300 pero month is not really that bad, I know is frustrating for you, but I have seen guys that ended up moving to their cars for a while. Because they have to pay child support and alimony and lawyer fees all combined. When we get married we don't realize the doble edge sword that that union actually is. I don't think that getting married is worth at all, specially if there is any selfishness in you. Pretty much a good husband is the one that provides and accepts and comply with everything and anything that the wife said. Forget about your own dreams, specially with mentally complex females. The court is bios to women, it takes a lot of work to get a "fair" result to you. But, 300 bucks is not bad.lear to be simple. And you will be there.

Is0prene · 2024-03-26T12:49:17+00:00

The same reason elections can be won by simple bumper sticker phrases. The same reason they will complain hardly any women sit as a CEO of a major company. There is no thinking involved and are simply reacting out of emotion.

I offered my ex the deal of a lifetime, I quickly realized I was an idiot for even offering it. I would offer to stay on the mortgage for her indefinitely to keep her at a 3% interest rate. Mortgage was $1480/month. My CS is 1109/month. I said hey ill let you keep that interest rate if you lower CS down to $600 a month. She said I was a narcissist, taking advantage of her, only care about myself, no good intentions, yada yada yada. I was simply offering a win win solution for both of us... more for her than anything. I said fine go ahead and screw yourself over enjoy refinancing at 7.5% and paying $3000 a month mortgage. I said do you really hate me that much, you would rather pay $1500 more to the bank if it meant avoiding to give me $500 more a month? She quickly realized her logic made no sense and begged me to offer it again, but I said no, sorry, offer is now gone knowing you can't be reasoned with.

Its like a toddler fighting over a toy. They would rather nobody have the toy vs sharing it.

tragicaddiction · 2024-03-26T12:26:37+00:00

because, like in most things, women are driven by emotion not logical thinking.

now add in lawyers who love conflict divorce because every email is $300 in their pocket and you got situations where e-mails just go back and forth with no real progress.

Reflog1791 · 2024-03-26T11:36:30+00:00

They want to bleed you out and settle on a shitty deal so her and her lawyer “win” the divorce.

Since your kid is so young the CS and custody schedule are critical. Don’t fold now you’ve held out this long. So hard to change the CS and schedule once it’s in the initial decree. CS only goes up lol not down.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2024-03-26T11:32:16+00:00

Why would you agree to pa any child support when you have equal incomes and 50/50?

Duchesst · 2024-03-26T11:30:55+00:00

You assume they are thinking? Oh brother are you in for a rough ride

Title	What are they thinking?
Author	TechnicalAd5152
Upvotes	29
Comments	21
Date	March 26, 2024 11:23 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bo5gso/what_are_they_thinking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-are-they-thinking.1513159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513159

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