Any experiences with a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”, a man pretending to be a feminist…

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2022-03-23T02:20:09+00:00

Oooooohhhh yeah. Man was openly pretty woke, stood up for women’s rights (particularly when it involved “sexual liberation”), happily made fun of conservative guys with me, seemed great. Then the mask started to slip. If he knew I didn’t like a women (my ex roommate who hurt my cat for example) he would feel comfortable insulting her as I assume he insults all women he doesn’t like, using sexist language, comments about her body, comments about how many men she sleeps with, stuff like that.

The real kicker was when he opened up to me about the women who “abused him”. He was refusing to respect a physical bounty, touching her in a non-sexual way, but she told him to stop, and when he didn’t, she hit him until he let go of her. I was dumbfounded when he told me this, he didn’t even realize he just outed himself as the actual abuser in the situation, he felt so entitled to her body and cared so little about her boundaries he didn’t even lie about it. Yeah, bullet dodged there, for both the girl who got in a few good swings and me.

insurrectionaryINTJ · 2022-03-23T00:14:28+00:00

ZVM I knew would also go on pro-feminist spiels on social media and even read Kate Millet and Andrea Dworkin to impress me, but then, would harp on to me about having his own harem of concubines and prey on 15-16 year-olds online in his spare time. The persona was entirely fake and constructed to give him more of a social media following and attract the attention of women he perceived as stronger and more of a challenge. It’s all a game to them.

Throwawaysealove96 · 2022-03-23T03:58:43+00:00

Many left-leaning, vocal “I’m a feminist” men are some of the scariest men I have encountered. I think it’s a predatory tactic. At a college party many years ago, a campus leader (progressive group) cornered me, and he was drunk. He took his belt off, and said the only way we would ever bond is if he was able to beat me with his belt because I was a stuck up bitch. Other people heard this, and someone got his older brother who quickly took him into another room. We didn’t have any history that explained this interaction.I left immediately.

So yeah, avoid the vocal “I am an ally!” guy.

scooter_se · 2022-03-23T01:36:12+00:00

Any self proclaimed “male feminist” is a predator trying to blend in with their prey. A true male ally would discuss women’s rights with their male friends who need to be educated, not with women who already fucking know that we deserve to be equal. It’s condescending and an immediate red flag. (Like, do they really think that they’re so smart that they’re going to educate a woman about women? Its bullshit)

Basically, if a man is trying to tell you about how much he supports women, then run in the other direction. A HVM will let his actions speak for themselves.

makeawomancum · 2022-03-22T23:45:01+00:00

Oftentimes lvm are only “feminist” when it benefits them; like being able to sleep with naive women with less shame, not having to pay bills, having the opportunity to hit girls, supporting the porn / prostitution industry. They think about ‘equality’ for them before real equity for women like radfems.

I’m sorry your ex was anal. I’ve dated men like this too and am relieved I’ve removed them.

Kernowek1066 · 2022-03-23T01:29:35+00:00

Oh god yes. My ex did this, it was laughable. Said that women were cutting off potential friendships by not being welcoming to guys approaching them in public

sewingmachinesavior · 2022-03-23T03:14:39+00:00

If men have to “prove” how much they are a feminist/good person/respect women by running their mouth all the time about the issue, they are trying to convince you they are, and they are lying liars. 😅

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-03-23T07:09:20+00:00

he was not only a "feminist" he was also a "Buddhist".

bish puhlease!

after 3 dates that went surprisingly well, he decides to dump on me that he still cannot let go of his ex (been apart from her for 1 year+)but that he really loves sex so he decided he wants us to see each other for sex. after this he also decided to trauma dump on me and tried to make me think that I was in the same boat (like we both had exes that "sucked us dry")as he was so I would agree. It didn't work because I was disgusted by his machinations. He really waited 2 months in order to tell me that, he was there every day, every morning (yes, I know, the good morning beautiful messages kinda got me because they were every single day) and he liked to talk and seemed "genuinely" interested in how I prepared for my day and we had long-ass phone conversations on spiritual matters and such. But then he decided to be a jerk and let me know how much he loves oral sex (on him, obviously) and then mentioned how he would love a FWB situationship with me.

I did not feel honored at the thought of having his tiny dick in my mouth while he was thinking of his ex so I said bye-bye.

In the end, if you pay attention, they always tell you who they are. you do not need "closure" or "explanations" or long-ass "phone calls" about closure or explanations. nah. All you need in order to gauge a relationship or a situationship with a man is to pay attention to how it started and to how it ended or only to how it ended. men give away their motives and have no shame in showing you their true colors. I began replying to this bozo less often and I was less interested since the moment he proposed the FWB to me. I let it fizzle out. He made no move, no phone call, no text, nada. Before all this, he was like clockwork for a couple of months, always in my face and he did try on the dates. He always chose really nice places, he paid for the dates, he had something in that brain of his besides sex. that man I liked. I didn't like the fickle bozo that gave me a sob story about his ex and how he cannot let go. this bozo played a serious game. he managed to seem invested but never missed his initial goal: get free pussy and therapy with a FWB. to me, all this, was a waste of time. when they go from 100 to 0 pretty fast there you have it, you closure, your explanation.

Mighty_Wombat42 · 2022-03-23T03:42:52+00:00

Honestly most self-proclaimed male feminists are like this. Personally I also find it sus if he calls himself a feminist vocally but focuses most of his activism on men’s issues. Don’t get me wrong, I fully support men taking responsibility for their own gendered issues and working with each other to resolve the negative aspects of male socialization, but I don’t like when anyone (man or woman) feels the need to focus on how feminism benefits men in order to justify it. I do think that all men and especially HVM can benefit from women’s equality in society, but feminism would still be relevant and justified even if it didn’t affect men at all.

2022-03-23T05:22:03+00:00

Oh they just say to get in your pants. I believed it too once.

pinksamosa · 2022-03-23T08:15:41+00:00

I am wary of woke feminists. Always judge them based on their actions. A friend of mine was absolutely okay with talking to me in a slightly sexual way, sending me sexual art to appreciate or talk about etc The wokeness is for them to benefit. I used to question if I was the prude, but no he was the creep.

AphoticEnigma_ · 2022-03-23T00:54:38+00:00

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2022-03-23T17:58:59+00:00

I've met quite a few self-proclaimed male feminists. Every single one was a narcissistic sociopath who abused women and had a trail of victims behind him.

I've had numerous women relay the same observation to me.

You'll notice these guys claim to be woke yet spend their time talking at women about feminism instead of talking to other men about it, which shows you how performative their "concern" is.

Assume that a male feminist is performing for you, which means you can assume he's a predator. Men who actually align with feminist values and respect women just do it and don't expect accolades for it.

sleutherino · 2022-03-23T00:37:17+00:00

Definitely. Had an ex who always avoided talking about politics. This was a red flag as we all know, because I knew that he used to spend a lot of time on sites like 4chan, and had some "edgy" opinions. He had strong political opinions I found out by the end of things, but they were unpopular ones, so he avoided the topic.

When I could get him to talk about it, he would always play the, "of course XYZ is so important, BUT...". There would always be a "but". He would make statements in defense of feminism, then immediately follow it with tons criticisms.

Think 20% pro feminism, 80% whataboutism.

Basically, he would say the right things to start and end, but throughout the conversation/tangent would sprinkle tons of anti feminist remarks that showed his true disdain for feminism. Ben Shapiro strategy, but turned down a notch or two. Lots of "hypotheticals" too.

I even tested it a few times. When I made pro feminist remarks, and talked about women's issues compared to when I said problematic things like, "we're already equal", "wage gap isn't real", or otherwise criticized feminists, he would have VERY different levels of enthusiasm.

When discussing feminism in a positive light, it was like talking to a grocery store employee. Polite, surface level comments that showed no real passion or concern, and didn't have much to say at all.Basically repeating what I said back to me.

When I "loosened up" over feminism (I didn't, but I let him think I did), and began criticizing feminists more often, he was a totally different person. He was enthusiastic, outspoken, and had plenty to say when it came to hating feminists. The difference was very noticeable and consistent over multiple years. It's like he was relieved when I became a "cool girl" and started sharing his opinion.

He secretly hated feminists, but was more than happy to pretend to be an ally if it got him further in life, in one form or another. Says the right things in public, spreads hate online type of person.

msromperstomper · 2022-03-23T17:07:42+00:00

I don't believe that men can be feminists. That is not a thing. They can be allies - maybe - but that is super rare. I work in academia and am surrounded by these so-called feminist men, but when I ask them how much time they devote to women in their courses? Crickets...

lolmemberberries · 2022-03-23T21:47:52+00:00

From my experience, men who I've met who truly acted like allies didn't make a point of talking about how they were feminists or allies or any wokespeak. The men who did that were/are total fuckboys.

leekykeeks · 2022-03-23T05:58:19+00:00

I’m currently vetting (non-romantically) one of my managers who likes to expel feminist vibes but I need to keep an eye on him because he’ll call a feminist book he just read “progressive”. Keep your guard up with guys like this.

lunatigre · 2022-03-24T02:17:32+00:00

I believe actions and behaviors, not words. A real feminist is evident in the choices they make. I've met enough male fEmInIsTs that it's actually a red flag when they declare themselves as such.

2022-03-23T23:21:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Any experiences with a “wolf in sheep’s clothing”, a man pretending to be a feminist…
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	432
Comments	37
Date	March 22, 2022 11:35 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tkgeny/any_experiences_with_a_wolf_in_sheeps_clothing_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/any-experiences-with-a-wolf-in-sheeps-clothing-a.1210413 https://theredarchive.com/post/1210413

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