Dating in Scandinavia

VikingDotter · 2021-06-06T19:11:00+00:00

Some Swedish men are decent but honestly, I’m done searching for one 🤷‍♀️ if I wanna gamble and attempt to win a lottery, it’s less time and effort to just buy a lottery ticket lol. I’m gonna chase a high value career and high value hobbies and if I meet a HVM during that journey, then sure, but I’m not searching for him.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-06-06T19:25:34+00:00

When I was in Denmark it seemed like most people kept their dating circle (like serious dating) to people they grew up with. Is that true? And marriage was fairly rare.

bluebird_wings · 2021-06-06T15:02:09+00:00

I live in scandinavia and they all just want me on walking dates and expect sex on the first, second or third date. Sucks.

moonstonegoddesss · 2021-06-06T17:14:20+00:00

I’m Scandinavian and quite young (20) and it’s so hard to date guys around my own age here. So many of them are really low effort and are obsessed with having ons and being fwb. I’m also currently attending a prestigious program in university and I experience a lot of guys trying to “bring me down” to their level by joking about how i’m not actually intelligent and that I received good grades in high school because I’m a girl and the school system works against guys.

ChanelOberlin2015 · 2021-06-07T10:37:10+00:00

I'm not scandinavian but I live in Europe and have attempted to date various Swedish men. Only one was seemingly HV and the rest were very low effort and didn't seem to appreciate monogamy. The worst example was a Swedish man who was very open about his desire to watch me being "f*cked doggy style" by a Black man... which was particularly audacious/creepy/racist/dehumanizing to both myself and Black people. In general they seem to care too much about their various cringe fetishes and I cba to put up with it.

laughingatsalad · 2021-06-06T16:17:33+00:00

In my experience having hv friends is vital when dating in scandinavia. If you dont have hv friends and you use dating apps use only the ones with superlikes and similar features. Men that superliked me on tinder are the only ones on the app worth anything

Lavender_flow · 2021-06-06T18:43:34+00:00

I am not a big fan of a lot of Scandinavian men. Especially Danish men are really low value in my opinion. I found myself a great partner here, he displays many really good traits and I love him tremendously (we have been together for years). I refuse to brand him as a "HVM", he has many high value traits. Which is why I am with him.

Can women on FDS stop referring to their partners as a "HVM", they can EASILY pretend and then turn on the abuse later, it Irks be incredibly when women on FDS drone on about their "HVM" like it puts some brand on a man that he know he passed some tests and is now branded "HVM", I will believe it when I see it. I have seen FDS women (people who have been here for a long time) get blindsided by men who they thought were high value, so stop putting these brands on men and be like "My HVM". Men can display high value traits, but until you have been with this person for years and years you will know this (and even then, the truth of the matter is, you can't know someone completely). Displaying high value behavior is constant and it does not ease over the years, putting a man on a piedestal as "HVM" will only ever bite you in the ass.

He should constantly be proving himself to you, and these high value traits are incredibly important to look out for in the start of a relationship, but it does not ease over time. (Anyway rant over)

Liberal feminism is RAMPANT in Scandinavia, I felt it in my pre-FDS days where I was part of another women's forum and I quit it because the pickme libfeminism was so awful to read I noped out of there. One of the frequent women was constantly jumping on all dick she could find and yet could not understand why no man wanted a relationship with her. Another one was bragging about how she went 50/50 on all her dates and a third was in a open relationship with some scrote from Copenhagen, while bragging about all the porn she watches, despite having a small kid who lived with her.

I honestly felt of all the Scandinavian men Danish men are by far the lowest value, you have better luck finding better men in Sweden, Norwegian men are somewhat on the same level as Danish men. I feel Finish/Swedish men are taught to respect women more and will take women on a real date. You still have to do a shit ton of sorting to find the good ones, I will also suggest areas which have more cultural life.

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-06-07T00:17:19+00:00

I would have thought because of the standards of living and happiness levels, dating culture be better than ours in the US.

buscemiswetblueeyes · 2021-06-06T15:36:51+00:00

ugh, I always wondered if socially progressive policies made it easier to date in scandinavia. Hope you find the HVM you decrece babe 🥰

sassyheather · 2021-06-06T15:59:08+00:00

I live in Scandinavia (I am non-Scandi) and my HVM is Scandinavian.

While I was still on dating apps, Scandi men asked me out for coffee + walk. My boyfriend is the first guy to actually ask me out on proper dates. He has displayed many green flags and keeps displaying them (over a year together). However, from my experience, he is a rarity. My LV ex introduced us two and we started dating after said LVM broke up with me, I mean what are the chances 😂😂😂

motokos_ghost · 2021-06-07T08:46:28+00:00

i've been offered dinner dates, so its a thing here. most men go for drink/coffee dates but a few men have asked for dinner dates if they really want to put the effort in. all the guys that asked me for drink/coffee dates were the ultimate players. the dinner date guys were still pathetic but 1 step above..so NVM to LVM 😂

mathquestions88 · 2021-06-07T07:07:54+00:00

and I thought it was better there..WRONG

theflipsterhipster · 2021-06-07T14:36:23+00:00

I'm Scandinavian and yes, dinner dates as a first date is extremely rare here. The most common before the old 'rona hit was "fika" or drinks. Oh and it's expected that you pay 50/50 or do the "I pay next time". I would chime in with what other people have said. Finding hv friends and socialising in HV circles is the best way to find someone with HV traits.

The biggest issue with Sweden is that the libfem movement is strong here, and that expecting the man to pay is considered old fashioned and backwards.

Peak_Tree · 2021-06-06T20:27:18+00:00

I'm not scandinavian and I don't live there either but some women from my country that have dated scandinavian men told me they are really obsessed with bdsm. Does anyone else know anything about it? I found it very alarming/ offputting tbh.

heleninthealps · 2021-06-07T11:36:51+00:00

Don't live in Sweden anymore but did for 23 years, dated 10 years and it was only walk dates or movie at their place-fidsy dates within food. 50/50 on everything, proposals to my friends after 5-11 years of living together, most people have kids and buy a flat/house before marriage and they all expect sex on date 1-3. Moved to Germany and felt its way better here, even if iys hard to find HV behaviour here as well. But at least the men pay

uaintshieeet · 2021-06-07T15:47:30+00:00

I just broke up with my Danish boyfriend because it was shocking how alcohol consumption at any time of the day was normalized and how the majority of social contexts involve alcohol. Also, his definition of love is my definition of neglect and the relationship dragged to a point where I felt starved of love and basic respect.

Of course this is just my observation. But I'd often hear his male friends talk about their partners as being just the mother of their children, and not necessarily feel a pressure to grow old together with that person (why would you start a family with someone already devising an exit strategy?)

I want to specify that I am a fiercely independent and very culturally-sensitive woman. I grew up in a multicultural household, have lived in 3 continents and 6 countries, and dated men from many different backgrounds. I'm still dumbfounded by the low relationship effort of the Danish man.

Fit_Juice · 2021-06-07T22:30:31+00:00

Well from my experience I used to live in Sweden, granted I lived way down South (I hear they get better the further north you get). But they thought they were such HOT shit (As in they thought I cared enough to go out of my way to please them kind of shit), always liked to take a jab at my Swedish (like boy, speak three languages as well as I can, then come talk to me). Not to mention they'd always eye me like a piece of meat, with those dead predatory icy blue eyes. Not to mention how they'd harassed me in literal classes and took jabs at my ethnicity, liked to take jabs at my intelligence the list goes on. Also, they're quite misogynistic, and depraved scrotes will get away with assault even if it's caught on camera. Like that one poor girl r*ped on a cruise. Yeaaaaaaah I felt as if I went on a little rant there. I wish I was lying but I barely scraped the tip of the iceberg.

Conturas · 2021-06-07T13:30:11+00:00

Greetings from Finland! The best way to find a HV partner here (and get HV treatment) is through HV friend circles, so that you know each other some way before the HV date. Formal (HV) date is not for getting to know each other, but showing a serious interest.

casuallyuninterested · 2021-06-06T20:41:14+00:00

See this discussion

Picardgrrl69 · 2021-06-06T18:52:01+00:00

Scandinavian here. I’ve noticed that the FDS principles have developed around american dating culture, and some of them need adjusting to be applicable to other cultural enviroments. The walking dates, drinks or coffee dates are one example. I find them acceptable in my culture, as dinner dates are something that is usually done only in relationships, so that’s one of the things I’ve adjusted to scandinavian culture. But then again, even though it is rare for men to pay even for coffee dates, I no longer consider it a date if a man doesn’t pay. Also, I expect the proper dates to start coming up after I’ve met the guy.

nnanna11 · 2021-06-07T13:22:24+00:00

Norwegian men are such low value.

Title	Dating in Scandinavia
Author	vidocqa
Upvotes	103
Comments	64
Date	June 6, 2021 2:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ntn0db/dating_in_scandinavia/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dating-in-scandinavia.781250 https://theredarchive.com/post/781250

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