back in the day I used to be a major pickme and probably would have seen this as "omg hes so considerate letting me choose". got asked for my number by a guy recently expecting him to ask me out properly only to be asked for coffee but wanted to meet up after work on a Friday. already kind of lost interest at that point and was trying to politely decline by asking him how exactly would that even work since that would be in the evening. maybe would have reconsidered if he suggested something proper to that but his answer to instead was "you are right. I'll let you choose the place!".

in my pickme days I probably would have saw that as sweet but literally the thought that went through my head after fds was "man, I just don't feel like taking hours to get ready and going through all the effort looking cute for a date that I have to plan when all the guy has to do is show up. that's so exhausting."

imagine being in a relationship with someone who 1) is so bland and unexciting they can't even think of anything better than coffee and 2) can't even plan properly. just got exhausted even thinking about it so I forgot to respond because interest was totally gone at that point.

day the date was supposed to be the guy texts me and asks if we are still meeting up and I already forgot he existed lol. respectfully told him I didn't think it would work out and that was that.

such a mindshift in thinking this sub is amazing. I can't even comprehend how I used to think that way. this is coming from someone who loves craft coffee by the way. its not the coffee, it's not the money, it's the lack of effort. there are plenty of cheap fun date ideas that would be exciting to me if money is an issue if you put in the effort. ice skating, a free festival, rock climbing. etc.