what happens when you initiafe contact even once

2021-12-22T01:06:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

stardew_1969 · 2021-12-21T22:37:13+00:00

Do you think he might have been expecting you to invite him to your place? Might have been why he also parked so far away and would explain his annoyance. Either way, anyone who switches that quickly is to be avoided.

ApprehensiveAd5947 · 2021-12-21T22:09:47+00:00

I think you made contact because you felt responsible for his awkwardness.

Maybe he was pissed because you offered to drive him to his car, and the 'script' he had for date night 3 had you ending up at his place.

The Netflix date suggests that he was done putting his date coins into you, and wanted one sex.

In short, you didn't do wrong by being kind. Three dates deep you should be able to be kind without it causing a switch, if he was a good dude who was genuinely into you.

Kimpractical · 2021-12-22T01:20:19+00:00

Only low value men offer a Netflix date. He was never high value to begin with

GeorgiaPeach_94 · 2021-12-21T22:16:08+00:00

"lost respect"?

The point isn't playing hard to get to attract men who will otherwise "lose respect". You've got it all backwards. This is pickme logic focusing on attracting random men - the point is vetting THEM.

Saga-the-fierce · 2021-12-21T22:06:51+00:00

I thought you wrote that you pegged him before the third date and thought to myself "yep, you've moved too fast there" 😂😂

scorchedsouI · 2021-12-21T23:21:17+00:00

Meh, if the guy acts weird, just block and move on. No need to think too much about it, just find another one.

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-12-22T02:18:42+00:00

lmao what that’s so odd of him, he should be thankful that you offered to do a nice thing. any person would be, so strange

alpinepunch2021 · 2021-12-22T00:21:19+00:00

It sounds like your offer just made it easier to weed him out. Seems like a good outcome, honestly?

Platipus6 · 2021-12-21T22:17:18+00:00

he walked me to my car, I offered him a ride to his car

Probably felt emasculated. He did the man thing, taking the lady to her car. He didn't know he was in an unsafe spot, and he probably wasn't (as a male) in any danger (from other men), so you offering was you acting like a man driving the damsel to her car. You told him "you look like a lil bitch who would get attacked lol, other men are stronger than you and you're a feminine victim".

Weird how men never see themselves as a victim, except in the wildest circumstances where they aren't the victim.

Then you did a 'shitty bro move' of saying "you can come if you like, I don't really care". They recognize shitty bro moves lmao.

So he punished you by letting you know you're only good for fucking. To get back to being a male, even if it's a toxic male.

Aromatic-Owl8808 · 2021-12-22T01:20:07+00:00

Went on three dates with a guy I met at work so I already kind of knew him. Looks wise im literally way above his league.

Your first two sentences are the biggest red flags here. You don't kind of know him after three dates and meeting him at work, and you should never date down. Don't settle, and don't think you know him at all yet. Please remember this and take it as a lesson learned.

spicyspa · 2021-12-22T02:54:26+00:00

Yep. I've run into this a lot. It has often happened in completely professional transactional situations, though a lot less now that I'm older.

I know it's unfair and stupid, but it's best to assume all men think like this. That's why even on OLD you're at a strategic disadvantage by being seen as a bit desperate even if you don't message a guy first. So don't even like or view a profile publicly.

Sometimes it feels like you have to stand still waiting to be picked. I think the key thing is to keep moving and to focus on other interests and when a man stops by, vet and either reject or accept.

They have to work hard.

Ok-Yogurtcloset3467 · 2021-12-22T09:15:27+00:00

You're being too hard on yourself. You didn't mess up. You did follow the handbook, except there was never any point in you going out with them in the first place because it doesn't sound like you were attracted to him and it sounds like he wore you down.

But you didn't mess up by asking him out after 3 dates. This is why we vet because men switch up. Or they show they're true self only after a certain point. You're not responsible for that.

keep_my_stuff · 2021-12-22T11:24:48+00:00

The way I see it, the scrote being unable to accept practical help without making it weird is very valuable info. So, I would say, keep doing that, if it makes people unmask.

Now, regarding texting him first, yeah, I think it's better to sit with the uncomfortableness (that he created) than try to fix it.

cicerii · 2021-12-22T12:39:52+00:00

A lot of men only do gestures like that to women they want to sleep with: carrying heavy things, saying hi, offering a ride. He probably interpreted it as you wanting to sleep with him.

lolmemberberries · 2021-12-22T14:29:43+00:00

He planned on trying to get you to go to his place (or yours) after date three and you flipped the script. You didn't do anything wrong and you're better off not wasting any more time on him.

souredskittles · 2021-12-22T21:16:06+00:00

Hmm it sounds like he expected something after the museum date….like a kiss or smth. Something tells me he was gonna act out anyhow. Don’t worry I don’t think it was you, he was just lv

Title	what happens when you initiafe contact even once
Author	comet2004
Upvotes	289
Comments	62
Date	December 21, 2021 9:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rlp9xr/what_happens_when_you_initiafe_contact_even_once/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-happens-when-you-initiafe-contact-even-once.1091285 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091285

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