Has anyone told a real life friend/family/acquaintance about FDS?

Summerisle7 · 2020-11-13T23:48:23+00:00

I told my stepdaughters about it! Don't know whether they actually checked it out. I couldn't care less about any "backlash," they already know I'm a rabid radical feminist, LOL

Breesasha · 2020-11-13T23:56:21+00:00

I told one friend of mine from college whose also kinda into Reddit and she was already following FDS.

Summerisle7 · 2020-11-13T23:52:34+00:00

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Pahapan · 2020-11-14T00:00:31+00:00

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EclecticBarbarella · 2020-11-14T00:37:34+00:00

My grandma thinks it’s the greatest thing ever (she has zero clue what Reddit is but as soon as I said the words “rad fem” she was in). One of my best friends gets a bit scared when I start in on how her LVM husband needs to go (I’m not that blunt about it, but he does, she could do so much better). My other bestie is on Reddit and I sent her the sub name, although I don’t know if she fully checked it out, we talk about stuff all the time and she’s 100% on the same page (and her husband so far appears to be HV). My gay bestie isn’t on Reddit but reaffirms everything we say here from a male perspective, he’s the first to talk shit about how a lot of men have issues these days and he knows I’m single because I have zero tolerance for dating bs and supports it.

elvn-elvn · 2020-11-14T00:07:13+00:00

I’ve been trying to explain the concept to my sweet and wonderful but deeply pickme sister who’s been married to her LVM Lite husband since 19. At first her response was just “what about cOmMuniCaTiOn? what about cOmpRomiSe?” but as I was talking about my personal struggles with trying to implement the principles, like finding what becoming high value looks like for me and more importantly what healthy boundaries are, she was really empathetic and we had a good talk about how our parents never taught us boundaries and she was proud of me for trying to figure out how to implement that in my life.

TL;DR—it seems like pickme family was more receptive to the non-romantic elements like leveling up and boundaries with friends, at work, etc. to start out

boobinerrday · 2020-11-14T00:29:45+00:00

I sent it to a friend who was recently cheated on by a NVM who has no remorse. She never responded, so I doubt she looked into it. I really wish she would. Just reading FDS would help so much.

azureangel35 · 2020-11-14T00:46:11+00:00

I've told a few, but only HVW with views already aligning FDS. I've mentioned on fb in a few groups. Always try to steer women recovering from NVM abuse here-those who are ready to live a different life.

driftinglochawe · 2020-11-14T01:51:37+00:00

I have a work friend who's in her early 20s who's venturing into dating for the first time. At first she was giddy at any guy who would message her but I told her about FDS. She's now taking her time, exercising her boundaries, and at the first sign of a red flag she'll block and delete. She's also grown more confident and assertive in the short time I've known her and I'm really proud of her! I'm in my 30s and my god I wish someone had told me about FDS at her age - would have saved so much trouble!

Pahapan · 2020-11-14T01:33:01+00:00

I told my mom about it because she's in an incredibly shitty marriage in which she's being taken advantage of financially and occasionally physically abused, but she's such a PickMe that nothing will get through. She's read books like Why Men Love Bitches and The Gift of Fear but no amount of information helps. I think at the heart of it is that she has some narcissistic tendencies and has NEVER been able to admit when she's wrong (has never apologized to me once in my entire life), so admitting that she was wrong about someone is off the table. She's also a Christian so she gets stuck in these forgiveness loops that feed directly into the abuse cycle. Her husband will sense she's near her tolerance threshold, she'll threaten divorce and make ultimatums, so he'll beg forgiveness and make some insignificant sign of change that is, of course, only temporary. Then he slowly edges back into being an asshole and the whole cycle repeats.

The truth is that women need to be willing to help themselves before something like FDS will help, and once they're at that point they'll seek it out on their own.

gutsandgorey · 2020-11-14T03:39:22+00:00

Yes I told my best friend and she embraced FDS. She's trying to break out of a fuck boy's mental prison.

Cookie_Duchess · 2020-11-14T02:49:21+00:00

One of my deeply pickme/cool girl acquaintances reacted extremely negatively to this sub and everything it stands for. We actually stopped speaking because of this and other major fundamental differences lol. Good riddance.

Street_Narwhal_3361 · 2020-11-14T01:14:25+00:00

My bf was like yo this is the shit I’ve been telling you- she was stoked to hear about this subreddit. She is for real queen and I’m so lucky to have her in my life.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-11-14T03:05:15+00:00

Never. If you say anything that is popular to hate or demonize, most people won't do any critical thinking and just go straight for the prejudice.

Take away the usual vocabulary we use here (like pickme, LV, etc) and just say the stuff we advocate, like healthy boundaries, self-respect, etc. and people will agree with you. It's mindboggling, but understandable.

2020-11-14T01:06:02+00:00

Yes.

And they usually agree with me, but are scared to implement it.

2020-11-14T01:14:53+00:00

Yes, I just shared it with my friend who can't break ties with LVM.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-11-15T01:48:26+00:00

I always say "a friends of mine swears by it, it might not be for you, but worth a look?"

Positive responses always.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2020-11-14T02:50:12+00:00

I really want to tell my neighbor’s teenage daughter about it, but I feel like that would be overstepping my bounds.

2020-11-14T04:23:58+00:00

I send the meme links to my friends all the time.

catspajats · 2020-11-14T09:54:21+00:00

Yes! I was open with my friends from the get, mostly because I am lucky to have supportive friends who knew I had been having a hard time with a scrote. I really emphasized it to one friend who I thought could use it and recommended it to her. Just like me, she saw it as a revelation.

It's awesome because now we will have some awesome discussions together based on posts as we navigate the scrote-filled dating scene.

If you're reading this, hey friend!

fruitloopcoco · 2020-11-14T06:38:04+00:00

My best friend introduced me to FDS and I'm so grateful

Flappy44 · 2020-11-14T06:49:45+00:00

I’ve told all of my friends, most of whom are divorced women in their 50s. Also shared with a friend in her 30s. No qualms about telling anyone I know.

HexyHag · 2020-11-14T07:31:20+00:00

I've told two friends. I'm under the impression that the other one isn't comfortable enough with her reading and communication in English, but I have been sharing with her what I've read and learned here. She struggles a lot in her personal and love life, but often says very FDS things and brings up stuff that we also talk about in here.

The other one I sent a link to after she had been making remarks similar to us in here. She said she'd check it out. I haven't asked how she liked us 'cause I don' t want to push. Gotta find out :)

BasieSkanks · 2020-11-14T07:57:59+00:00

I’ve told two people. My sister, who is married to a HVM, agrees with some of the aspects of it. I’ve tried to share with one of my best friends, but she has never been interested. Which explains why she keeps ending up in unsatisfactory relationships.

thruawoo90210 · 2020-11-14T12:17:25+00:00

I have sent the FDS handbook to both my best friend and my sister, and they loved it so far. To be honest they've been giving me similar advice for a long time but I was a very low self esteem pick-me. Better late than never though!

penelopekitty · 2020-11-14T13:16:46+00:00

I tell every single woman I know, a few married ones too. Some just aren't ready to handle the truth.

sahu_ · 2020-11-14T13:32:27+00:00

I spoke about it to my mom who recently got out of a bad marriage and she immediately got it. I told my friends about the principles and when they seemed to get it I told them to read the handbook first which I shared with them and then I told them to go on the subreddit. But I don't think they're big readers/Reddit users and will probably not find their way here which is sad because one of them is in a terrible marriage, one of them is getting married next year, one of them is just out of a two year relationship with a bad breakup and the other one is in a relationship that is going nowhere. I mean I thought they were in the right place to understand FDS ideology but I guess not.

I would rather lead by example and ofcourse if we ever talk about their relationship problems I would offer advice from FDS point of view and hope they'll see it as clearly as I do someday.

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-11-14T14:22:22+00:00

I haven't. Not even my mom.This is my only secret no one knows about. I don't know why I keep it secret but it feels good and I feel in my gut that's a good decision. At least for now.

Edit: but I talk about FDS principles a lot. I just mask it as if I read it "somewhere" or I present it as my own opinion. I taught my mom who are pick mes lol.

2020-11-14T14:52:24+00:00

I don’t recommend it at all. I told my friend who is a huge pick me and she actually managed to use FDS stuff to manipulate a LVM into treating her better and then kept coming to me for additional manipulation advice. It was awful. I cannot believe that is what she took away from FDS. She took none of the other stuff. I also told my married friend about the issues with porn and what FDS says and she was very sad and defensive because her husband watches porn. She also thinks all my views on men are wrong because she has seen a different side of men. I was surprised because I thought she was super HV and so was her husband but I guess not. Either way, I don’t recommend it. You could send them the handbook and say you thought they might like it but I would not mention the actual community on Reddit at all.

ThrowawayKITTY777 · 2020-11-14T17:44:40+00:00

I thought my god-daughter ( early 20s ) absolutely NEEDED to see this so I sent her the links to the handbook last week.

Her direct quote : Ok but this sounds just like stuff you've told me already. With maybe less f-word in it though?

😹😹😹

I pointed out to her some things I'd missed along the way when I was learning the hard way....and how FDS supports the things I hadn't realized I'd been doing all along that made me "weird" and "undateable" ...but only to LVMs!!!!!

She's been sharing with her friends.

I'm so happy this is here for everyone who needs it.

creamtart_ · 2020-11-14T01:38:29+00:00

Start by having conversations around the values and then if receptive, introduce them to the sub.

Immediate introduction leads to brigading.

Title	Has anyone told a real life friend/family/acquaintance about FDS?
Author	MakeURegret
Upvotes	55
Comments	45
Date	November 13, 2020 3:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jti4qb/has_anyone_told_a_real_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/has-anyone-told-a-real-life.733572 https://theredarchive.com/post/733572

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