Her replies in the comments show the pick me behaviour. I am mad. She is teaching other women wrong ideas

nothing998 · 2021-03-19T06:14:34+00:00

Women have to supply the directions for displays of intimacy, love, and affection now too? When does the managerial labor END? Do men even have thoughts floating around inside their heads? Or are they robots waiting for inputs? It's like they wait around for their wife to tell them what to do.

Dirty laundry piling up? She should have told me to wash it. Not my fault my clothes are growing mold. Dishes and food crumbs in the sink for days? She should have told me to them. It's not my fault we have roaches now. Our child is hungry? Well she should have told me he that needs to eat, what he needs to eat, and how to cook it. It's not my fault he's crying. My wife is neglected? She should have told me I needed to show basic signs of affection and how exactly to do so. It's not my fault she's depressed and insecure over our relationship.

Is it so hard to expect that a man put in effort to show he gives a shit? Is it??

7Cuervos · 2021-03-19T06:12:31+00:00

Yes, keep telling yourself that "communication" works. Keep telling him how much his actions are bothering you, how much he hurt you, how much you want that nice bag...

And watch him spit in your face and give 0 fucks.

If he wanted to, he would.

Being a pickmeisha isnt worth it.

File-Own · 2021-03-19T07:00:20+00:00

Weird how a man has never had to ~communicate~ w me that he wanted to be treated w care and respect and yet I’ve had no issues figuring out how to do that. Guess we’ll never solve this mystery 🤷‍♀️

slipperyfoots · 2021-03-19T06:29:40+00:00

Men are not stupid. Saying 'BuT tHeY DoN't KnOw' to not make inappropriate jokes, not vanish for hours on end without explanation, and show their appreciation is another way of saying saying 'men don't know how to respect you unless they want to fuck you'.

She's saying a man doesn't know to show their appreciation? Her standards for men are on the ground. Poor girl.

Theboredshrimp · 2021-03-19T06:39:34+00:00

if he wanted to he would is not about reading our minds, it's about what men want to do, thus "if he WANTED he would'', we need to stop blaming women for how we're treated and instead hold men accountable for their actions and their motivations. "don't blame him you should've asked first" for the bare minimum, that's not how any relatioship between two adults works, every relationship status comes with prerequisites, friendships, romantic relationships, sibling relationships...that's how men get away with "situationships" they destroy the frame of romantic relationships and lower women's standards while putting the blame on women.

CandidKick · 2021-03-19T07:21:01+00:00

She looks just like the girl I went to school with who had a disgusting home life. Not sure if it is her. But her behavior and voice is similar.

The girl I went to school with had a father that was in the military and treated her like a soldier. Strict schedule from the time she got up to the time she went to bed. No doors in the house except for her parents room. No privacy for changing or using the bathroom. Her father sounded abusive but she thought they were both great. At school, she was aggressive with everyone and ‘anti-feminist’ like her father. She would pick on other girls and challenge them to show how much more masculine and ‘competent’ she was. She only hung out with boys because girls were ‘too much drama’ even though she was the only girl in class causing drama and her male friend group were the biggest gossipers.

Either way, pickme’s gonna pickme.

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-19T09:20:03+00:00

A lot of internalized misogyny to unpack in that one. She is complete glossing over the fact that women at large has communicated SO MUCH. Women are the communicative gender, men are not. Are you kidding me? STOP BLAMING WOMEN and stop babying men sis.

I hope she gets picked.

The perfect example of this was a post here, where a woman said he ex had dropped a packet of banana laffy taffy at her door with a note saying "You said I never listened to you, but I did, so I got you your favorite laffy taffy", she added to her post "my favorite laffy taffy flavor is strawberry" 😂🤣 Men truly don't listen, so this sis needs to sit down and SHUT UP.

souredskittles · 2021-03-19T07:22:37+00:00

Idk miss pickme, you can communicate all you want babe. I’ll be over here blocking and deleting.

He knows. If he wanted to he absolutely would. Period!

Hhjjuuy · 2021-03-19T09:11:49+00:00

This is really consistent with some of the thinking you see in this sub from people who are completely new to FDS ideas. Theyre starting to get their heads around the details but still have a block about the main principle - that being single is better than being in a subpar relationship. She thinks we're expecting LVM to change for their partners just by magic. We aren't, we want those women to leave the LVM. Block and delete.

It makes sense. Single women are really demonized under patriarchy, it's a big idea to get past and maybe one day she will. But this is just embarrassing.

discochicken87 · 2021-03-19T07:21:45+00:00

It's not our job to teach them how to date, that was their parents job! Doing it only because their partner asks, will only work until they feel they have what they want.

Davina33 · 2021-03-19T07:26:41+00:00

Ah the good old "if you communicated your feelings blah blah blah". Look, how many times have we spoken to men? We do it until we are blue in the face, we don't need to do it some more! Not to mention the fact they know when they are doing something wrong anyway.

helena939392 · 2021-03-19T08:06:23+00:00

Ahhh yeeessss, it's the certified PickMe™ claiming poor men just simply can't offer you the bare minimum and decent human treatment without you communicating it clearly first. I hope she truly enjoys her life being a doormat to an entitled little mommy's boy. However, I choose not to.

veniphyl · 2021-03-19T10:19:26+00:00

Pickmes are at the bottom of everything. They are willing to go below scrotes to serve scrotes, like doormats. They are never happy. When they're single they're miserable. When they're in a relationship, they're even more miserable but have to pretend that they're on top of the word. Meanwhile they attack other women for having standards because they're jealous deep down.

2021-03-19T12:36:28+00:00

He still wouldn’t, girl. He.👏🏽still.👏🏽wouldn’t!👏🏽 Try it, you’ll see.

dembar126 · 2021-03-19T09:20:57+00:00

Uh.. Yes.. yes it is "if he wanted to he would". Tf is this pickme even saying?

If he wanted to take you on a real date, he would ask you on a real date without you having to beg for one.

If he wanted to commit to you, he would ask for exclusively without you having to beg for it.

If he wanted to treat you with respect, he would do so without having to be reminded.

If he wanted to talk to you, he would not keep you waiting for a response, he would text/call/contact you promptly.

If he was interested in you, he would put effort into getting to know you without you having to constantly lead the conversation away from sex.

IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD.

2021-03-19T08:57:51+00:00

just no.

he will make sure you're comfortable by watching for cues and asking. he will bring a blanket and make tea to keep you warm. he will rub your back while watching that movie. he will tell you what he appreciates about you and it won't be your body. he will bring you pretty trinkets he knows you'd like, because he listens.

fuck love languages. if someone is truly into you, they'll do their best to show you. and vice versa. that's the most beautiful and fun part of dating, imo.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-19T12:41:18+00:00

Oh poor things, they just didn't understand what we wanted 😌how are they supposed to know when we ask for help around the house, to help around the house. This is what I've been doing wrong. From now on, I'll just spend a couple hours of my day figuring out how to best get through to my man. /s

eveloe · 2021-03-19T09:25:00+00:00

I mean “If he wanted to, he would” is a low enough bar for a man with integrity to pass.

You can’t communicate a man into respecting and caring about you any more than you can convince a man to fall in love with you with the right words.

Objective_Ad7771 · 2021-03-19T10:55:12+00:00

Bruh I'm not his manager

Wildestrose1988 · 2021-03-19T12:14:18+00:00

If they can't figure it out then they don't deserve to be near me

ChocoBananza · 2021-03-19T13:06:01+00:00

I have a feeling that she’s about to cry. Like... she knows it’s a cope, and she’s trying to convince herself that whatever she’s saying is true? Or is her voice cracking because of the great injustice inflicted on men?? Both? I guess we’ll never know.

I almost feel sorry for her.

Almost.

2021-03-19T09:25:31+00:00

We can't expect our partners to know what our favourite flowers are without communicating it but we can expect them to want to commit, to be generous and to treat us with respect and care without communicating that need. She's applying the logic of communication far too broadly.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-19T12:34:40+00:00

Omg so this is going to lead women to keep wondering, "well maybe if I just communicate with him in THIS way, he would" rinse and repeat. Fuck no I've been on that ride and wasted four years of my life. Let's leave it at IF HE WANTED TO, HE WOULD. And let's be real... 90% of the time he does know you want him to, he just doesn't want to.

lhatw · 2021-03-19T13:44:20+00:00

Yes let me write him an instruction manual because he’s a dumbass 🙄/s So cringe. She’s teaching women to waste their own time.

dollymyfolly · 2021-03-19T14:35:54+00:00

She seems a bit smug for someone who happens to be very very wrong.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-03-19T15:09:54+00:00

Silly girl, let men carry their own water. The "communicate" excuse is weak. Men don't want to listen, they call a woman asking for something a nag.

New_Article7411 · 2021-03-19T15:32:11+00:00

I'd rather have a man that loves me, instead of providing step by step instructions to a man on how to pretend to love me. If he loves you, he shows it. No nagging required. This fool of a woman doesn't know anything.

Beautiful-Barbie · 2021-03-19T06:26:45+00:00

The problem is women consistently communicate and men don’t give a fuck or change, but the blame is shifted on women for “nOt cOmMuNiCaTInG cLeArLy eNoUgH”, even though they have phrased and asked the same thing multiple different times in multiple different ways.

Title	Her replies in the comments show the pick me behaviour. I am mad. She is teaching other women wrong ideas
Author	overthinker4444
Upvotes	94
Comments	54
Date	March 19, 2021 6:03 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m8apak/her_replies_in_the_comments_show_the_pick_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/her-replies-in-the-comments-show-the-pick-me.1190661 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190661

Comments