how abso effing disgusting is this? bad enough that a scrote would do this, let alone WOMEN blaming the victim!!! I'm beside myself! thankfully there are others who are just as outraged as I am.

notabell88 · 2020-12-08T12:37:08+00:00

don't know how to post a picture in the comments. But this was one of the responses. I'm glad to see that some women can see beyond the brainwashing we are being subjected to. "Choking has become pretty normal in the casual sex world? Are we OK with this? Are men being choked? Women are dying, this is literally killing women, and we're just like 🤷‍♀️ The solution is that he have to tell men before we get intimate that we're not into being strangled? What a time to be alive."

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-12-08T12:33:30+00:00

Absolutely unbelievable. We're all collectively being gaslit into believing it's our fault if we didn't CoMmUnIcAtE that we don't want to be violently assaulted. I genuinely feel so sorry for all young women and girls today. Violent depraved sex has become the norm.

needsmoresilk · 2020-12-08T13:09:32+00:00

I am seeing red. He choked her during sex, didn’t bother asking her for consent, didn’t bother making sure she was ok. The commenters claim this is a normal part of sex?!?! Since when is literal violence a normal part of sex?! (TW: “It wasn’t abuse because you never told him it it wasn’t right and you never asked him to stop”)

This is placid and dismissive r*pe apologia and the normalization of abuse. Oh my god. I am so mad. Somehow the burden of asking not to be abused rests on her. So this commenter would be totally ok with a friend walking into their house and taking their stuff without permission because “no OnE cOMes wiTH AN inStRUctIOn MaNUal!!”

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2020-12-08T13:30:23+00:00

He was strangling her. Strangulation is a violent crime.

Choking is a food event.

_xyoungbellax_ · 2020-12-08T12:51:57+00:00

Here, women are legitimately dying from getting choked but has any woman ever tried performing this kink on a man? At best, he would be enraged or may even be able to enjoy/escape since we're physically weaker. How can't they see it's dangerous for women more than it is for men? Why do other women even defend this shit and normalize it? I'm so mad.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-12-08T13:28:47+00:00

"There is no right or wrong way to do sex" (in the last picture)

Ma'am did I just hear that right? This is when you realize how normal it has become for people to accept violent sexual behaviour towards women. Pretty sure that scaring the shit out of someone during sex is not the right way to do sex.

"Poor guy, imagine how hurt he'd be if he knew you consider him a sexual abuser. Maybe there is another explanation, that you didn't say you didn't want to be choked" is basically what they're saying. So the default way of having heterosexual sex is that the man is violent according to her?

Platipus6 · 2020-12-08T14:27:50+00:00

"people don't come with an instruction manual"

yeah we do its called The Law. If something is illegal, don't fucking do it.

Strangulation is attempted murder.

Sex acts without consent is rape.

The onus is on "the guy who wants to do fucked up shit" TO ASK FOR CONSENT.

GrapeJuiceEnthusiast · 2020-12-08T12:34:59+00:00

I can see this is in a Facebook group. Any chance you could DM me the link so I could see what the other comments are saying and maybe DM the poor woman to tell her it's not her fault?

Triptothebend · 2020-12-08T14:36:23+00:00

I'm sorry, WHAT?! So for her too assume he is a decent person that is not out to ACTIVELY HARM her is a stretch, but for him to assume that she is 1) a porn star 2) likes pain 3) wants to be semi-killed while having sex and 4) that he has the right to play out his own pornsick fantasy on ANYONE is to be expected? And for them to assume his fucked up assumption is somehow her responsibility to correct and rectify is just the sprinkles on this shit sundae!!! Makes me want to choke both him and the stupid bitches.

Wchijafm · 2020-12-08T15:04:44+00:00

"If you dont tell him..." no. If his default is sexual violence then it is him with the problem, not me. On date one I shouldnt have to read a list of all the things I dont want a partner to do ( "do not stab me, do not shit on my chest...").

2020-12-08T13:56:10+00:00

As someone who was date raped and was accused by an ex for it being my fault, this makes me soooooooo mad. This same ex also coerced me into sodomy. I’ve gotten very dark thoughts about sexually traumatizing men in return.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-12-08T14:54:59+00:00

What the fuck. Why is BEING STRANGLED the default? Even if JuSt CoMmUiCaTe wasn’t garbage advice, which it is, why is sudden strangling seen as default and you need to communicate if you don’t want it? Why is the onus on her and not him?

asteria2002 · 2020-12-08T14:59:11+00:00

Wow. So These days men strangling you isn't assault anymore? But if this men ever strangled other men no one would be saying "he thought you liked it". Women like sex too but I if a men walks up to her and violently has sex with her it is RAPE,But I guess because he thought she liked it, it is okay🤗. I hate pickmes and men so much. How dumb or evil must they be to think that women enjoy being strangled. And why in the hell is this not seen as CRIME, IT IS A FUCKING CRIME.

Elizapornberry · 2020-12-08T15:42:14+00:00

Lol so they blame porn but then it’s our job to solve the problem porn made (which is made by men) and then it’s “Communicate otherwise he’ll never know” I mean sure but you can still dump him. It’s not one or the other. Let him know not for him but for the future woman whose gonna be choked.

Women shouldn’t be used as rehab for man made problems.

localgirlcult · 2020-12-08T15:29:39+00:00

Again with the coMmuNiCaTe shit. It's become a meme on this sub, I swear. Apparently, THAT'S the problem instead of looking at the actual problem which is that he considers CHOKING a default sexual act. She was too scared to react which is not an uncommon thing. The problem is that he thought that was okay without any discussion. He just did it. This is not about fucking communication. Why do we have to tell them beforehand to not CHOKE us? That shouldn't be on the table. "Please don't physically assault me". Why is that normal? No one wants to ask themselves that.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-08T13:57:05+00:00

That second comment I would say is 100% written by a man larping. Every single thing that he says is exactly how men gaslight.

This guy is a violent rapist and she might get PTSD from being assaulted.

Just replace all of these scenarios with a ball stomping kink to see how this would never happen if the sexes were reversed. "Maybe her previous partner loved having his balls stomped on. How could you expect her to then not assault your testicles? Supposedly some other guy could have liked it so it's okay for her to do it to any man any time."

2020-12-08T17:38:57+00:00

"It wasn't abuse because you never told him it wasn't right and never asked him to stop." ~ it's part of the fight-flight-freeze response, asshole. I HATE how women are expected to be perfect victims with the whole "stranger in a bush" concept. That's not how life works. What happened here most certainly WAS abuse. Why isn't there a focus on teaching the guy to ask before trying something??

-badmadAM · 2020-12-08T19:54:07+00:00

Genuine question, but how is that person expecting you to communicate while you are choked?

Also why does this person think males are such imbeciles and low- iq creatures that they specifically need to be told that one might not like to be treated brutally (like beaten and choked, which is actually REALLY dangerous). Just because this might be something some porn shows you, and another woman once let it do to her? If they are so incompetent, why are they allowed to vote and drive cars 😵 \s

Proud-Purpose · 2020-12-08T19:19:34+00:00

Sounds like he needs some casual nutsack twisting.

poison_snacc · 2020-12-08T18:55:27+00:00

If there’s no “right or wrong way to do sex,” why is it none of the women I’ve had sex with have acted out trying to murder me without me asking first? Because it’s only been men who’ve done that to me? Are they sure they don’t mean men just DON’T KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG?

AyemHerself · 2020-12-09T02:47:45+00:00

There it is. "If you don't CoMmUnIcAtE..."

Why is communication on her? Why can't HE communicate that he needs to choke and beat a woman to get off, BEFORE he fucks her? Someone explain to me why, if communication is so important in interpersonal relationships, the expectation always falls exclusively on the woman and always after something happens that she doesn't like?

sunologie · 2020-12-08T23:14:40+00:00

I like how they say she should be the one to communicate she doesn’t like being strangled instead of...saying he should’ve COMMUNICATED before hand and asked her if she was into it / okay with it...nah he just did it and those women are making excuses for him. We are doomed as a sex.

randomgirl34861 · 2020-12-08T15:31:11+00:00

It’d be one thing if he did something a little strange in the bedroom (like put her toe in his mouth or trying to set the mood with weird music) thinking she’d like it. Then I could genuinely believe it was an innocent miscommunication of desires and this advice could apply. No one has ever been hurt from having a toe in their mouth or hearing a song they didn’t like. That would warrant better “communication.”

But this is very different, he put his hands on her neck and strangled her. That’s violent. Millions of people have died that way. Violent behaviors that have resulted in death for people shouldn’t ever be brought into the bedroom.... ESPECIALLY with someone who has no idea it’s coming. He had to know she felt unsafe in that moment. It’s common sense- everyone knows what he did was scary and that not being able to breathe is terrifying. Her fear is likely what got him off.

Yes, people have a wide range of healthy things they enjoy sexually, and misunderstandings in those areas can be worked around. But enjoying violence is a problem not a kink or preference.

notabell88 · 2020-12-08T19:32:36+00:00

If anybody wants to know the Facebook group pm me. I wish I could share it because I'm absolutely enraged by the responses. I'm so ashamed and disappointed in this women! They are probably the same ones calling themselves feminists. Disgraceful!!!

biggestsigh · 2020-12-09T00:22:10+00:00

Those comments are crazy. Why do people who think he didn't know what he was doing when he didn't do any of it the first time. He knew enough not to do it but he didn't know enough to ask? Why is the burden on her to communicate and be understanding?

2020-12-09T05:19:16+00:00

It’s fucking disgusting. This kind of behaviour along with men cumming inside a woman without speaking with her about it need to be killed! Over caring about how they may not know better... um but it’s left to a woman to sort out her emotional, physical health because he is so careless. So over giving men leniency to behave like this. No block and delete but they should have their dicks cut off and just be done with them.

Comments