How is being bothered by micro-cheating connected to having low self-confidence?

yeahhh22 · 2021-05-21T18:52:25+00:00

I keep dumping men over this. What I've noticed is the ones who continue it never maintain another long-term relationship. It's not about insecurity. It's about being respected. You want to let those women know you want to date them while you're with me? Then go date them. It is the audacity. Also when I let a man have all the freedom in the world "because it's harmless" aka be a doormat, he cheated on me the whole time.

Zurflu · 2021-05-21T19:02:19+00:00

Have they ever stopped to consider that maybe the micro cheating is what CAUSED the insecurity issues to begin with? How maybe she thought she was beautiful until she found out her partner was jerking off to other women every day while passing up sex with her? WHY IS IT HER FAULT?

Mcccy · 2021-05-21T18:54:43+00:00

I would just LOVE to see the same men that tell other women to be more open minded about this, on how they'd respond if their gf was following hot ripped guys or porn stars on insta or only fans.

Spoiler: They would throw a tantrum and break up with her immediately. That's what we should also do, break tf up with them.

We're supposedly in relationships so we make our lives easier and better, if all he has to offer is stress and self confidence issues, why tf should we continue dating him??

lunarfulminate · 2021-05-21T19:08:35+00:00

I guess a high-self-confidence woman wouldn't stick around long enough to stay bothered by his behavior? 🤷‍♀️

Scrote logic: "If you are OK with me openly eye-fucking other women (i.e. visibly disrespecting you) it's because you value yourself highly." I think not.

_electrafire · 2021-05-21T21:31:39+00:00

Being bothered by this behavior is actually a symptom of self-respect and high self esteem. The people gaslighting her into “raising” her self esteem actually want her to lower it, as only a person with low self esteem would tolerate this

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-05-21T19:15:57+00:00

UGH this. I always thought I was the one that needed to "get more self-confidence" when my boyfriend was micro-cheating. That's what the internet, dating advice, and people told me. It's so messed up. No you don't need therapy, you need someone with common decency and respect.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-05-21T20:40:38+00:00

I think confident women are less likely to tolerate this, actually.

4D457R4 · 2021-05-21T21:54:18+00:00

its bullshit. i was botherthed by my ex liking other girl's pictures and following new girls while we were in a relationship, brought it up to him multiple times, just for him to gaslight me about how it doesnt mean anything and how i should chill. come to find out this very morning, 2 months after the breakup, that he was cheating on me with one of the girls whos pictures he was always, always liking. it was even more amazing to see that they are now in a relationship both posting pictures/stories on instagram, while he would never post or tag me in the few months that we were together. lesson learned and absolutely 0 tolerance for such behavior from now on.

carmen_sandiegos_hat · 2021-05-21T22:17:26+00:00

The argument I've heard the most is that "Men look" or "Men have needs." I've heard a guy tell his gf "If I don't have access to you all the time, I can look at other women. It doesn't mean anything." Which, if he didn't know, he just admitted that he's using these women for his own sexual benefit, including his girlfriend.

It is very rare to get random thirst traps on your Instagram explore page. It goes by an algorithm and based on what you've liked, that's what you get. Say he did know these people IRL and he did follow them because they are friends. You can mute people. I do it all the time if they post weird stuff. Then I reevaluate and wonder if this person is worth not only following on Instagram but being their friend in general.

Most of these guys' "needs" come from a hole they have to feel wanted and desired. The woman you mentioned... Her trying to be "open-minded" is her trying to gaslight herself into accepting his behavior. Whether she gets help or not, he will be stuck in his ways unless he wants to change.

UglyDuffelBag · 2021-05-21T18:49:27+00:00

He should be questioning himself on why is rubbing one out more important than his girlfriend's comfort lol.

purasangria · 2021-05-22T00:21:23+00:00

This is straight-up disrespect, and it's public, because others can see what he's doing. I've dumped men for this, and will continue to dump men who openly disrespect our relationship by following soft-core porno girls on social media.

I don't tell them why I dumped them; that would only make them hide it for the next woman.

Don't tolerate this shit, ladies. If he thinks they're so great, then he can go date them, IDGAF. But a man who's dating me will show me respect if we're exclusive and cease following porno girls.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-05-21T20:13:49+00:00

I agree she should get therapy to get more confident, she will realize she should be single and dump the loser!

abstractsadgurl · 2021-05-21T21:43:25+00:00

Boundaries really needs to be priotized in the dating sphere (srsly wish they had a class on this in school) because it's really about feeling safe in a relationship. I'm tired of people framing themselves or others as being "insecure" and reddit dosent help considering they are so many porn sickos on here the overall majority of people just want to defend themselves and project

yeahhh22 · 2021-05-21T19:44:07+00:00

You know what just blew my mind. My ex used to claim it was his responsibility to let these women know they're beautiful. He is "being supportive of them" (and their thirst traps). If their self esteem is his responsibility.. a man they don't even know exists yet he refuses to quit orbiting.. Then why doesn't he feel responsible for his gf's "self esteem". Why is his gf's "self esteem" her responsibility? While these women's self esteem is his responsibility. At that point you are orbiting the man while he orbits other women.

modernmedusaa · 2021-05-21T23:40:13+00:00

throw the whole man away

ivy176 · 2021-05-22T09:10:06+00:00

It's so frustrating. I've had some... not good people... as partners in the past and I have to admit that none of them even showed interest in other women online or otherwise. I think my nature drives cheaty flirty types far far away from me. I've attracted the wrong men for sure, but never any kind of playboy types.

I couldn't stay with a man who did that. It's not jealousy or insecurity. I'm only jealous of real things like people's health or how much they can do in their life. I don't focus on looks at all. For me it's just that I couldn't relate to that kind of person. They'd have a sexual personality that isn't compatible with mine. I'd view them as simple and simple is unattractive. I associate that kind of behaviour with teenagers or something. It's just too weird for me. I'd get nothing out of browsing pics of male models, and I have a healthy sex drive.

millrice · 2021-05-22T11:42:40+00:00

Scrote micro-cheats but woman has to get therapy 🤣🤣🤣

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-05-22T17:53:58+00:00

Never heard of this term micro cheating but it makes so much sense to describe some men’s questionable behavior on social media. Like, no, following some other woman to admire and ogle over her pics isn’t the same as physical cheating but it’s still not right.

Title	How is being bothered by micro-cheating connected to having low self-confidence?
Author	Equivalent_Search178
Upvotes	0
Comments	46
Date	May 21, 2021 4:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nhw4jg/how_is_being_bothered_by_microcheating_connected/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-is-being-bothered-by-micro-cheating-connected.753391 https://theredarchive.com/post/753391

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