I collected these over a few months of deliberately going out on bad dates to refine my OLD vetting instincts.

  • ’Kinky’ / ‘kinkster’

This man has no knowledge or experience in actual BDSM and thinks that ‘I like to pull hair’ / ‘I like to use derogatory language’ / ‘But I took my shirt off why haven’t you cum yet’ are qualifying penchants for being kinky. Throw in ‘dominant’ and this man is boring at best and will put you in physical danger at worst.

I’m opposed to BDSM but I have relatively more respect for a man who, at minimum, knows what he’s talking about. Show me a ‘kinky’ man who wants to be dominated for a change and now atleast we can have a conversation about it.

  • ’Carefree’ / ‘Laidback’ / ‘Don’t take life or myself seriously’ / ‘lol’

Please note that while the use of ‘lol’ may arise naturally in any conversation, this man will use it unprompted in his profile description, he’ll use it as a complete sentence and he’ll never use ‘Lol’ with a capital L because that would count as taking life too seriously.

  • ’Goofball’ / ‘goofy oddball’

This man may not follow up his sentences with a ‘Lol’ but rest assured he will brush off all of your concerns and objections with a ‘but I was kidding’. To add insult to injury, he’ll then let you know that by sharing any concerns and objections in the first place, you were incredibly mean to him, you hurt his feelings and/or could you please change your tone.

This man is the fraternal twin to the carefree idiot in that they’ve both got the emotional capacity of a punctured condom.

  • ’Leftist’ / ‘feminist’ / ‘anti capitalist’ / * insert buzzword label from the pseudo woke bandwagon

This man has no idea what any of his proclaimed labels mean. He is hoping to find a partner who is one or any of these things to help validate his claims by association to said partner. This is the newest and lowest form of the ‘I’m not sexist because I have a mother’ in the form of ‘I am feminist because I went on a date with a woman’.

It is highly unlikely that a person who truly walks the walk will need to talk this kind of talk. If in doubt, ask this man ‘what does this mean to you?’ and watch all your doubts wash away with his facade.

Interestingly enough, when asked this question, this man will drop all pretense and directly proposition sex soon after. Maybe as a last resort, maybe to try to erase my memory of him faltering, maybe that’s what he would have done all along ? I can’t say for sure why this tends to happen but this is a pattern I’ve observed with this type of man. It is confusing but amusing nonetheless.

  • uses ‘girl’ / ‘chick’ to refer to women

Language is important. It shapes your mindset and reflects your perspective of the world. If he’s looking for a ‘girl’ or worse a ‘chick’ i.e. doesn’t refer to women as adult humans is unlikely to acknowledge or treat women like adult humans.

  • has the same expression / same pose / same angle in all pictures

Sameness in photographs indicates to me that he’s static and he doesn’t have a lot of emotional depth because he does not appear capable of emotional variation.

Photographs themselves don’t necessarily convey the value of a man; however, the photographs he uses on his dating profile give you valuable insight into his perspective of himself and of the world.

We cannot choose what we look like but we can choose how we present ourselves to the world. Keep in mind, that the pictures this person has chosen to share are his idea of his best version of who he is.

I’ll add more in a later post if you all feel like these were useful and not super generic/obvious.

Stay safe and stay sane!