Is there a certain age at which a man, if still single, becomes questionable?

Radiant_Success · 2020-03-25T09:19:45+00:00

In order for him to choose a wife, he'd have to unchoose all other women. A lot of men simply aren't willing to do that. They receive all or most of the benefits of marriage and relationships from new women every couple of weeks or months, without the responsibilities, so why would they want to end a situation that they see as fun and advantageous to them?

My child's father was 39 when we met, childless and never married. Very high earner, corporate career as an executive. He's 48 now and still never married. As far as he's concerned, he's also still childless, with the exception of a large monthly child support check. He's not interested in a high value woman, low value woman, or anything in between. Hell, he may be a closeted homosexual for all I know. Not my business, don't know, don't care. I do know that if he ever decides to get married, he'll have a very rich, very miserable spouse.

Davina33 · 2020-03-25T09:22:10+00:00

[deleted]

riseaboveagain · 2020-03-25T13:58:04+00:00

I know one man, known him a long time. Social circle friend, over 40, lifelong single, tall, not ugly, polite, fun, great guy and HVM in all aspects.

Based on offhand, jokey comments he’s made over the years, I suspect he has a very small penis and is very insecure about it, so there’s that 🤷‍♀️

gigi_chi · 2020-03-25T12:15:40+00:00

Single successful men 35+ are usually problematic .

throwahweigh3521 · 2020-03-25T10:43:21+00:00

I’ve always wondered about this. Imo people in general aren’t socialized for marriage anymore (not that historical marriages was any better or there was some sort of better past.) But getting married was something most adults did until rather recently.

We live in fuck boi times.

As far as men no matter what the age it’s best to be skeptical. Imo starting somewhere around getting their first big boy job and establishing their own homes. And then anything after 30.

Idk but basically heterosexual men no matter what age are questionable. They are single by choice or repulsive in some manner.

magenta_mojo · 2020-03-25T13:34:18+00:00

I would make exceptions for a man who has just come out of a long-term relationship. Sometimes they just don't work out with a particular person. As my now-husband put it, "Your exes were idiots to let you go."

spin_the_globe · 2020-03-25T15:30:22+00:00

Depends on the man. If he's happy with his life the way it is, why add in the complication of a relationship?

WorkingOnMyself01 · 2020-03-25T09:45:30+00:00

Too many marry for poor reasons. Maybe it's been wise on his end.

Imatworkmotherfucker · 2020-03-25T14:16:46+00:00

When I was dating I would not date men over 30 who had never lived with a woman or men over 40 who had never been married. Men over 40 who had never been married were far crazier than men who'd gone through divorce, learned some lessons and became better people.

Sewud · 2020-03-26T02:42:22+00:00

[deleted]

ny-lady · 2020-03-25T13:00:36+00:00

Some guys like this are avoidant attached. They will never marry or stay with someone long enough unless they have done therapy/aware of it.

2020-03-25T20:23:20+00:00

I don't think so because I've thought about this before, what if he had several year-long relationships and the woman left him? My guy is single at 25 which is not too old, he had a three-year relationship that ended when he was 23 or 24 because she left him to travel the world. maybe a guy has something like that, doesn't date until he's 25 or so, maybe another three year relationship where she leaves him for someone else or something, all the sudden he's 32 years old back in the dating market. my dad has been married twice, my mother was abusive and his second wife really did not like kids but she pretty much kept this from him and then when he got custody she divorced him. obviously he put his kids first and had to recover from that heartbreak, and he meant my new stepmother when she was 58 and he was 56. My dad is like the best guy ever, highest value man in the entire world. objectively, he looks like a bad choice because he's been married twice and he's 56 and single. But he's the most generous loving wonderful person ever and he's fit and successful.

however, there is a book by John Malloy called why men marry some women but not others that is purely based on research, they did a lot of research asking men and women outside of marriage license courthouses. Well-designed studies with female researchers. He said that most men of college education start to want to settle down around age 26, then there's about a five-year. Where they are in a high commitment zone and if they do not commit within this time period, especially after age 33 and 35, their chances start declining rapidly. Check out the book I got a used copy for like five bucks on Amazon it's pure research. It sound like a cringey title but it's pure research well-written all kinds of information

ItsAnonCat · 2020-03-25T09:04:13+00:00

He fucked around and either had zero desirable traits, isn’t trying hard or he really thought he’d get low effort pussy forever. Now he’s that middle age guy that we all swipe left on. Or he’s the community whore, or women meet him and realize how much of a problem he is so they run the other way. So then he will say there are no good women because the mature and wise ones are hip to his bullshit early.

myousername · 2020-03-25T19:03:59+00:00

If a guy is 35 or older and has never been married, I lowkey judge him. There's really only 3 possibilities:

1) There is something wrong with him and hasn't been able to convince a woman to choose him because he has some intolerable flaw(s). He wants to get married but he is too much of a failure.

2) He is one of those "perpetual bachelors" (basically, a fuckboy). He hasn't married yet because he doesn't want to have to be faithful to one woman for the rest of his life. Probably has an avoidant attachment style, has had many sexual partners and is riddled with STDs, and likely perceives and treats women like they are single-use disposables. Spent his youth riding the c**t carousel and is having a harder time getting laid now because he is balding and getting leatherface from too much sun-tanning. Basically a grownup version of "Chad"

3) He doesn't want to get married at all, likely because he is highly dedicated to his career. Perhaps he is a Nikola Tesla type and has devoted his life to scientific discovery, perhaps he is a doctor or lawyer who works 12-hour days. This type of man is probably the "best" one out of the three, but is still not a suitable partner. His #1 priority is work, he will never be a dedicated husband or father, he may not even want a relationship at all, so any courtship will be low-effort and distracted.

gooddogtoo · 2020-03-26T01:06:33+00:00

By his mid to late thirties he's questionable and you should be careful. By his 40s he's a verifiable douchebag. Abort mission on single over 40 guys. Only if he got divorced because his wife truly was a bitch or they both decided they didn't belong together is a divorced man safe for consumption either, and you have to somehow check his story. The pool of dateable men is so small I'm not even trying. I don't even want to at this point.

ceruleanavocado · 2020-03-25T16:56:50+00:00

I think at a certain age you do have to ask, WHY is he single? Age in itself isn't bad but the reasons behind it are worth wondering about. He could simply be happy with his life the way it is (which doesn't necessarily mean he's HV or LV, although the ability to function on his own is at least a positive sign), or he could have unrealistic standards, be abusive, socially awkward, a fuckboy who still thinks he can pull younger women, or a workaholic who has no energy to date. There are also extreme circumstances, like having medical issues that he had to work through earlier in life (for example, my friend's brother received a cancer diagnosis in his 20s and didn't date during this time, I don't think delaying dating for this reason makes someone LV). Or maybe he was trying to self improve by getting an education or stabilizing himself financially during his youth and didn't focus much on dating (not sure if this is LV or HV). I think a lot of these factors can be present at any age and in people with any level of relationship experience though.

glittersparklesglitz · 2020-03-25T12:10:24+00:00

My immediate thought? Gay.

ErikaNaumann · 2020-03-26T00:11:52+00:00

I don't think so. I myself am mid 30s, single, never married. There are many reasons for it, one of them is that I am yet to find a hvm to be with. Men can go through the same struggle. There might be other reasons, such as being asexual.

Offcourse a lot of them will be lvm, fuckboys etc, but that's valid for all men, both married and unmarried, of all ages.

savannahm89 · 2020-03-25T09:58:08+00:00

[removed]

hongkonghenry · 2020-03-25T13:41:45+00:00

I would probably have the immediate thoughts that you have. But there's always the possibility that he's a widower, or that he was divorced by a wife through no fault of his own. I don't think I would write a guy off based on his age.

Title	Is there a certain age at which a man, if still single, becomes questionable?
Author	savannahm89
Upvotes	48
Comments	47
Date	March 25, 2020 8:43 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fomxyw/is_there_a_certain_age_at_which_a_man_if_still/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-there-a-certain-age-at-which-a-man-if-still.679604 https://theredarchive.com/post/679604

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