Men who have no talking game

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-09-08T14:37:27+00:00

As someone who has spent her fair share of time around nerds, geeks, “shy guys”, weirdos and misfits, I can confidently say this, and I would implore young women running in offbeat circles to please understand:

If a guy is behaving like a silent, petulant asshole on your date; if he’s sitting there across the table giving you one word answers, scowls and no eye contact, he is NOT SHY. He doesn’t like you. Trust it. He’s just seeing if he can score some possible easy tail like any guy, albeit badly.

No matter how awkward or shy a guy is, he’s not going to risk offending a girl he really likes.

Pryras · 2021-09-08T14:48:42+00:00

I stopped using euphemisms for them and started calling them socially awkward. They lose it every time.

It wouldn’t be so embarrassing if they didn’t blame women for every shortcoming they have.

lilac-hiraeth · 2021-09-08T14:36:49+00:00

Yes! Especially on a date. Like, this is your audition and your going to stare at your shoelaces and twirl your thumbs? I’ll just sit there and wait for engaging conversation.

I usually have the opposite problem where I can’t get a word of edgewise in. Men love to go on tangents with me, I’m not sure they use lungs to breath, maybe scrotes have developed some type of land gills because the ones I deal with never seem to stfu!

I am pretty quiet and measured and I like to see how long men can tolerate peaceful quiet without getting anxious or nervous without constant back and forth, usually they suck at it.

Bottom line, men who don’t know the art and balance of conversation either way are an endurance test and a waste of time.

hensbanex · 2021-09-08T18:42:14+00:00

my fiancé is extremely quiet and reserved, and rarely talks to anyone except out of necessity, the opposite of a social butterfly. but when he was pursuing me, and in our everyday interactions, he makes efforts to contribute equally to conversation. he doesn’t text or message much, but he regularly messages me, even small things such as an “i miss you” text from work. he expressed interest and asked engaging questions that showed he was listening, and shared things with me that were important to him. I have never felt ignored, slighted, or unsure as to his interest in me. “shyness” is not an excuse; even if he is shy or introverted, a man will make an effort to come out of his shell to pursue a woman he’s interested in.

curiousgoblin22 · 2021-09-08T14:43:15+00:00

Even shy people will step out of their shell when needed.

If the guy has a job, it implies he knew how to talk appropriately and enough to succeed at an interview. There's no reason why he can't do the same when dating.

deadinsidelol69 · 2021-09-08T18:29:20+00:00

I'm convinced it's simply lack of effort/interest. If a guy can't hold a conversation with me and keep it interesting, I'm out.

notbossyjustaboss · 2021-09-08T15:07:46+00:00

Knowing how to carry a conversation is a must. Being articulate and bringing interesting subjects and ideas to the table is a must. For long term commitment, that is.

If they are not "natural confident conversationalists", they can always learn some soft skills. There are tons of content on the internet, even courses to become more charming and confident. Therefore, if they choose to stay social awkward is because they don't care enough to change = low effort. This is personally one of the most "anti-seductive" traits to have, imo. I just can't bring myself to imagine spending time with someone who expects me to do all the talking, as if I was desperate for them.

"The issue is that plenty of men who are natural, confident conversationalists tend to be LV too...." yeah they are pick up artists, mostly. Knowing how to carry a conversation =/ knowing how to manipulate you to sleep with them. In my experience, I've never met one true "shy type" that was HVM. All of them were lazy, socially crippled and manipulative, simultaneously. If being "shy" is their default and they don't make effort to open up, then it's a no-no.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-09-08T14:55:42+00:00

They either aren’t putting in effort or they have issues connecting to people/themselves likely from stunted emotional and social development. Either way they are not HV.

Philodendronfanatic · 2021-09-08T20:26:03+00:00

Witty conversation is something I find really attractive, so a man would have to make up for that lack of sparkling conversation through an excess of other attractive characteristics in order for me to be attracted to him.

It's certainly more difficult for some people than it is for others to practice conversation and become good at it so unfortunately it's not on it's own a good tell for whether someone's a basement dwelling recluse with no friends or just a lovely, genuinely kind person who's a bit shy around people they don't know.

Edit: There's a difference between a pleasant and thoughtful but slightly awkward conversation and someone who's an ass and tries to brush it off as being 'shy'.

daisy_0720 · 2021-09-08T18:15:13+00:00

Porn and video games have killed their ability for interpersonal communication. It's hard to have social skills when you literally never leave the house.

kinkardine · 2021-09-09T02:15:26+00:00

I feel both have to fall into same communication spectrum. I look for signs that if me being around opens up the guy or shuts him down, and look for the same in me - if I am feeling cautious, self conscious or comfortable? Any uneasiness taken care of by any effort should be taken into account. I am an introvert but I found communication is different than being a conversationalist, you can always communicate with the person if you feel an attachment.

parabenprincess · 2021-09-09T13:56:33+00:00

I don’t like shy, quiet men with no experience or confidence. Talking to them takes too much mental energy. I like men I naturally vibe with where the conversation is effortless & just flows.

lolmemberberries · 2021-09-09T01:25:20+00:00

It's low effort. Even if a guy is shy or awkward, he'll make an effort if he truly likes you.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2021-09-11T23:04:59+00:00

Might be going against the grain here for liking shy guys and finding them refreshing compared to wannabe PUAs, but I draw the line at guys who will do absolutely nothing to contribute to the conversation.
I'm not talkative irl, but when talking to that kind of guy I'm the one expected to cave in and fill the gaps in the awkward silence. That's low effort (or zero effort) on his part.
Even people with a socially awkward disposition can make an effort when they're interested in someone. They might not reap stunning results, but there is a distinct attempt.

Title	Men who have no talking game
Author	imtryingtotryhere
Upvotes	309
Comments	25
Date	September 8, 2021 2:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pkb8ef/men_who_have_no_talking_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-who-have-no-talking-game.1069782 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069782

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