Religious FDS

Peak_Tree · 2021-10-17T17:42:40+00:00

It's tricky because religion is very important to many women. Personally I' m not atheist but I'm very, VERY wary about religions because they all have shown that they can ( and DO) advocate for absolutely atrocious treatment of women.

So I just pray when I need it and the like but the "social" aspect of religion is something I avoid like the plague. I even dress conservatively coz' I love the style but I HATE religious pickmes pretending that they are more worthy or that men respect them more because they dress modestly with the heat of a thousand suns (and no lurking religious pickmes, scrotes don't respect me any more for dressing modestly than they respect my scantly dressed friends. They just pretend they do to pit us agoinst each other).

chickenery · 2021-10-17T18:09:56+00:00

TBH, as someone who grew up in a religious community/area (but not in a religious household, thankfully), I do not believe that FDS or even feminism can be compatible with the religion I am most familiar with, which is Christianity.

And honestly, when I am vetting, I eliminate religious men. ESPECIALLY Abrahamic religious. Because guess what? These men would never, ever, EVER believe in a religion that teaches men to keep silent, be a helpmeet to their wives, let their wife be the head of the household, etc. Never. They would be ashamed, embarrassed, and horrified to subscribe to a belief system like that. And they would be highly suspicious of any woman who believed that.

So why should I believe that nonsense, and why should I date men who believe in it? I don’t believe, and I will not date those men.

Far_from_deceived · 2021-10-17T12:40:25+00:00

I don’t think religion is “tainted” by the men so that it becomes misogynistic.

The religions you mentioned were BORN misogynistic, it’s not that they were misinterpreted. Some passages of the Bible are really clear that women have to be submissive.

Therefore, answering you question: no, I don’t think women should pursue these religions because they might have been contaminated by men. They were created by men, so women won’t take any advantages of that.

I know, it’s painful to find that out, when your whole life you were taught the religion was the most important thing in life. You were taught to be, for example, Christian, and you find it hard to swallow that it is absolutely misogynistic and that it will make more harm to you.

Now I am not saying every woman should stop being religious or whatever. This is my point of view. I really think that if you arrived at this point of “questioning” your belief, you can also try and research more about what you were “taught to believe was the correct path”, and then having your conclusions. My current state of mind is: not religion whatsoever, but it’s more because I am scientist, the misogyny is the cherry on top.

Japanese_Lasagna · 2021-10-17T14:33:07+00:00

I picked up on how religions are misogynistic (among other issues) back as a preteen even, and I concluded that religions are either false or not worth following for that and other reasons.

Frankly, if you don’t follow and believe a religious text fully or at least largely, to me it means the person isn’t actually of that religion, and that’s okay. Most “Christians” for instance know very little about the Bible and follow very little of the Bible, and I’d say they are more “spiritual with Christian influence” than actually “Christian.” It’s just the culture that says believing in a higher power and afterlife equates to being Christian. Those who grow up in the US are said in some sense to be “Cultural Christians” because aspects of it are shoved down everyone’s throats from a young age, even if you don’t believe in the Bible.

What I’m trying to get at is that religion is misogynistic and not worth bothering with, but you can still have “spiritual” beliefs. It would be worthwhile for you to just separate your beliefs from religion specifically. Then you can have your beliefs without having to worry about religions’ obvious flaws.

jupitarianrise · 2021-10-17T15:58:25+00:00

How does an FDS member come to terms with the misogyny in their religion?

I’m not religious anymore. 🙃

blessedwiththree · 2021-10-17T16:05:57+00:00

I identify as a Christian, but I also refuse to follow the things I don't agree with in the bible. I know plenty of people would say that means I'm not a Christian, but there are a lot of things in the Bible that people choose to interpret in different ways (hence why there are so many groups with changes in their philosophy all under the Christian umbrella who are all still considered Christian).

I choose to live my life based on the New Testament and follow what I interpret how Jesus would act and how he would treat people. It is not my responsibility to judge anyone's actions and I'm here to love and treat people respectfully. I don't have to agree with other's opinions and they don't have to agree with mine, but I feel strongly that we are all valuable and important in our own way. I feel that everyone has a purpose even if they don't understand it. I truly believe I am not less because I am a woman and I feel that the Bible was colored by the lenses of those who wrote it based on what was acceptable in historical times.

This is a slight bit of a tangent, but I'm going to explain how I reconcile what I believe men's and women's roles to be with my more traditional/religious mindset:

I will say my view on men and women is that we are different from each other, but both equal and necessary (like puzzle pieces that are cut differently). In my opinion, the problem is that such a large amount of men have now made themselves less necessary, because many are not keeping up with what women are providing to society. I can't speak for other places, but in the USA, men are now being allowed to contribute less than they ever have while women are now doing more than they ever have. In my experience, women are now providing financial support or are the main provider in the home, while managing the home, caring and having for the children etc. A lot of men are not financially providing, not helping with the household responsibilities, not parenting/caring for the children, and a lot are not able to do the things that were the more traditional male duties such as auto care, home maintenance, yard work etc. There is no way to make things even because even with a helpful partner a man cannot breastfed and have children and most emotional labor falls on the woman. If a man cannot be a good provider and a good contributing parent/partner he's no longer worth investing in because at that point he's taking resources from the children and wife (financially and mentally) and providing a horrible example of what a man should be to his children. We are seeing a large amount of men who are addicted to video games, porn, and have a complete lack of ambition when it comes to career and family. Unfortunately, this is already having huge ramifications for our society.

Basically, I think that religion is a very personal thing and that everyone is going to interpret it in their own way. I feel in my heart that God created women to be valued/cherished and revered. God never meant for women to be seen as or treated lesser, if that were the case, he would not have created us as amazing beings that can pretty much do what men can do AND make and feed humans 😁.

Educational_Pool_635 · 2021-10-17T12:42:54+00:00

You simply can't find a religion that assumes men and women as equals. None. That's the reason I am agnostic, as in i believe maybe there is some higher genderless energy but maybe not. The religions can fuck themselves for all I care.

Aik2 · 2021-10-17T13:05:52+00:00

Honest but controversial opinion: I just ignore it.

Religious texts are so old and nuanced that decided to live by my own interpretations. Sure it causes me to go against "orthodox tradition" but in my heart I know I'm following the religion and doing what's right for my soul. I have no qualms about disregarding the literal translation of things and always try to piece together the bigger picture.

A simple example: "Do not mark the body" People think it means no tattoos... But back then only criminals had tattoos, so really it just means do not commit crimes. I extrapolate that line of thinking to everything else and it really works for me.

Edit to add: any partner of my mine must have a similar mindset. I won't be with someone that believes the values on surface face value only.

PangolinJust8693 · 2021-10-17T14:15:58+00:00

Yeah I am catholic. I take everything that isn’t directly quoted from Jesus’s mouth with a pinch of salt (and even that). Just because the Bible was written/re-written and translated by sometimes misogynistic men.

Vaahla · 2021-10-17T16:04:37+00:00

I’m devoutly anti-religion, not quite the same thing but my convictions are pretty strong at this point.

Formalized religions exist as a method of control, primarily over women. Modern religion isn’t much better, but I respect people who follow it even less I guess. Ignorance used to be an excuse, I don’t think it is anymore.

Religion is proven false. There’s plenty of physical evidence that humanity and culture existed before the bible. We didn’t come into existence via Adam and Eve. The bible was written over hundreds if not more than a thousand years. The original books refer to plural Gods. Plus there’s a bunch of books that somebody else decided shouldn’t be included.

It’s all picking and choosing of what suits the patriarchy’s needs.

FineDeliciousSnakes · 2021-10-18T15:22:34+00:00

I was born into a Christian family and the church was a big part of my growing up.

Also I’ve grown up on the internet, so to speak. So much of my upbringing was paired with internet culture

It has actually been FDS which affected me far more regarding really finding problems with the community and not being as involved

I see men telling women what to do at events, and the women doing it. As if they’re maids and used to it

Which is shitty. I still have love for this but it is slowly being replaced as church love gets chipped away by misogynistic rituals and lessons that make me see it more plainly for what it is…. Methods of control

Religion is now deeply personal to me and I don’t feel comfortable sharing or discussing it in friend circles. As a result of this many of my “friends” I no longer feel any kinship with because they can only talk about religion. Which is so boring now… it’s like yeah god is great, let’s talk about why life is great! Instead of just god god god god god and why these people are X and these are Y etc

Skanktuary · 2021-10-18T22:33:15+00:00

When I was on OLD sites, the words "God Fearing" sent me RUNNING. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Cel_Gabe · 2021-10-17T18:18:31+00:00

As with everything in this world, Christianity has also been twisted to suit certain people's (men's) purposes. There are many pasages in the Bible denouncing the selfish and abhorrent behavior that we experience, but its glossed over while other passages that are more in line with their agendas are highlighted and browbeaten into us ad nauseam. It just like when an abusive parent quotes Ephesians 6 v 1 and 2, but conveniently forget the Bible warning fathers not to provoke their kids.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-10-17T16:35:11+00:00

I’m a religious Jew, and I’ve found I can get out of most of the misogyny by not following the “oral Torah” aka the traditions and interpretations set down by ancient sages and rabbis. The full Hebrew Bible or Tanakh comprises the Torah (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy), Nevi’im (later stores of prophets) and then some additional writings and commentary called the Ketuvim. I disregard the Ketuvim for the most part, picking and choosing what I like and what to interpret as allegorical. It’s not even alleged to be the word of G-d, so I feel absolutely no guilt in doing so.

The three areas of Halacha (Jewish religious law) that affect most people the most in the daily lives are dietary laws (no misogyny here!), Sabbath laws (ditto) and ritual purity laws (which govern sex and menstruation and such, and tend to be very misynostic. I ignore most of it). Much of the Halacha is “spun out” from very simple dictates, so when it comes to the objectionable sections I have attempted to reverse-engineer what G-d could originally have wanted, before thousands of years of misogynistic, fallible male rabbis got in the way.

That’s all very technical, and, I suspect, not very interesting, but the three Abrahamic faiths are actually quite distinct in practice, and I think the process of reconciliation is different for everyone.

Would it be easier to give up on my religion? Almost certainly. But I genuinely believe, and Judaism isn’t (to me) the sort of faith where it’s enough to just know in your heart. There is a big emphasis on practice and community in the faith and always has been. I’m not going to abandon my religious convictions and turn my back on G-d just because men are awful and have tried to ruin it (like they try to ruin everything that’s been around long enough).

Religion and G-d are important to a lot of people especially among marginalized communities like mine. I’m happy to engage with good-faith criticism of my religion, but I strongly believe FDS should not take a position that religion (or even just the Abrahamic faiths) are ipso facto incompatible with women’s liberation and advancement (and thus participation here).

randomgirl34861 · 2021-10-17T17:37:49+00:00

I’m Christian but I chose to interpret some things my own way and only go to churches that are more modern in their interpretations. Modern Christian churches accept divorce if your husband is a cheater, threatening you, or watching porn. Even if you initiate the divorce, he is the one who is responsible for ruining the marriage because he didn’t hold up his end of the promise. When you make vows to someone, it’s assumed you won’t do those things. Modern churches also prioritize healthy marriages and children having loving homes over anything else, so they marry gay couples, allow for second marriages and are not opposed to any loving couples (or singles) adopting. Maybe some older members don’t love it, but there’s too many unloved children out there, they aren’t out there adopting these kids and they know that so they keep quiet. In the faith the man is supposed to be the provider and protector of the family. The women is supposed to be the nurturer and heart of the family. I don’t have an issue with this, I think it’s natural for a woman to want to be and enjoy being the heart of a family once if she is fully cared for by her husband. When the man demonstrates a clear ability to provide abundantly and protect fully, all that’s left to do is love and nurture and the family has all they need.

snowwhite224 · 2021-10-18T20:36:36+00:00

I’m a Christian! I think for me, it helps to know that the misogynistic ways the church has latched on to, was never God’s plan.

I would recommend you read the book “The Making of Biblical Womanhood” by Beth Allison Barr. She is a Christian and also a historian. In her book she discusses the history of patriarchy and how it is all man made. She has done podcasts and interviews you can find on YouTube as well.

Also make sure the church your attending/content your consuming is egalitarian. Hope this helps.

scorchedsouI · 2021-10-17T13:34:55+00:00

Unless there's some very serious cognitive dissonance going on, then no, obviously.

sacchilax · 2021-10-17T19:25:34+00:00

I am a Christian. I love God. I feel that a lot of “religion” has been impacted by some dangerous interpretations of the Bible.

From my reading and experience God is love. Not only is he love, but he is extremely organized. The true definition of order. When I look out at all he has created I see how he has created and built upon things to make a myriad of different plants and animals. This is why I believe we have so many animals and plants that are similar yet different. It was as if he started with one thing, made some tweaks, then made another, etc etc until it was perfected.

That being said, woman was the LAST thing he made.

I hope that tells you all you need to know. 🙃

pozzalovah · 2021-10-17T15:16:10+00:00

I feel like in regards to this we've got to respect each others religion no matter what .we have got into lot of arguments in regards to religion on FDS .so all in all respect what ppl believe in .

Japanese-Spaghetti · 2021-10-17T15:28:17+00:00

Honestly I have found by studying Judaism and Christianity (but not in Islam) that they do see women as equal to men but just that we need to fulfill different roles in marriage and raising children. I was a practicing Catholic for a while who went to church frequently, but there are sadly just so many awful, hypocritical religious people that would rather see women be beaten down emotionally and spiritually (like in the movie Malena) than for any woman to be happy, beautiful, feminine, AND free spirited. I wear makeup, small heels, and nice elegant clothes everywhere I go. Old church ladies don’t like that. I still have a relationship with Jesus but I can’t imagine ever going back to regular church attendance. There is just so much anger and frustration in the room. A lot of people there need to go see a therapist instead of praying for their miserable lives to change.

Erocitnam · 2021-10-19T08:55:55+00:00

I agree with you, every organized religion I've ever read about has anti-woman shit baked right into the foundation. I'm not part of any organized religion, but I still believe in something out there and have developed my own practice. My beliefs tend towards animism, connection to the land and to my ancestors, although I'll admit I have a lot more favor for my female ancestors than the male ones.

afrodeasyak · 2021-10-19T10:36:31+00:00

I started questioning Islam as a teen because I could not tolerate the misogyny, sex slavery and killings, amongst many red flags in that religion. So in short, I'm agnostic and glad that I can exist in this world by wondering and asking questions without ridiculous limitations of man made religions.

Title	Religious FDS
Author	darkroombl0omed
Upvotes	101
Comments	36
Date	October 17, 2021 9:28 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q9vg59/religious_fds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/religious-fds.1079035 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079035