I’ve seen far too many posts discussing absolute trash like VC Andrews and 90 Day Fiancé, etc. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you consume trash media, expect to have a trash mindset.

If you want to foster a HV mindset, which is the first step in having a HV life, you have to have interesting hobbies and consume HV media. That means throwing out 90% of reality TV and romance novels. If you really need a mindless show to watch, pick something like The Great British Baking Show. If you really want to read romance, pick something like the Bronte sisters or Jane Austen.

Your goal should be to have a few hobbies that are interesting to you. For example, my best friend is really into period/Steampunk costuming. She thrifts pieces and attends SciFi and Renaissance events. We’re both into camping/paddling/foraging. I’m really into elections. I work every election as a chairperson and on receiving boards. As a result I have gotten in good with my city and county clerks. I train new township clerks. I read classic and modern literature. A couple of my friends are really into gardening. Another friend has 153,837,258 house plants.

Interesting hobbies give you something HV to talk about. They give you something to connect with other people over. If you spend enough time on your hobbies you WILL meet people with the same hobbies. You’ll make new friends.

All of this serves to give you a life that you enjoy so much that only interesting men will be attractive to you. Because YOU pick HIM. He isn’t competing against other men. He’s competing against your fulfilling life, hobbies and friends. Is being with him better than being alone?

Trashy media isn’t fulfilling. It’s a time suck and cheap rush. Just about any crusty dick will be attractive compared to a cheap dopamine fix. And trashy media primes your brain to crave a cheap fix.

In short, make your life so fucking interesting that LVM can’t compete.

A good practical exercise is to describe your perfect HVM. What qualities does he have? What kinds of hobbies does he enjoy? What does he do for work? What’s his education level? Is he religious? Write all of it down. Now think about what kind of woman he would be attracted to. Are you that woman? How do you become that woman?

That isn’t to say that you should turn your life upside down to please a man. Because the process of becoming HV will literally fill your life to where there’s no room for anyone that isn’t HV. You won’t have the time or desire to entertain LV bullshit.

So just stop with the LV media. Get yourself some hobbies. Watch quality tv. Read quality novels.

Edit: I recommended Austen and Bronte as less problematic romance, NOT in general. If you’re going to read romance, pick something that doesn’t glorify sexual abuse.

I do however highly recommend Phillipa Gregory, Madeline Miller, and Frances Hodgson Burnett. They’re very talented authors. Burnett wrote The Secret Garden—an easy read. Miller wrote Circe—a retelling of Greek mythology from a goddess’s perspective. And Gregory writes historical drama from the queens’ perspectives.

I’d love to hear YOUR suggestions for female authors that don’t pander to male-centric story lines.