Take a seat, Declan.

persephones_torch · 2020-04-24T23:21:33+00:00

When we relate our stories of abuse, rape, neglect, trauma, we are "damaged goods", "daddy issues".

But when it comes to them we're expected to understand, have empathy and CoMmUnIcATe no matter how shitty their behavior is. 😒

To LVM, they are the only ones that exist as three dimensional characters while women just orbit around the narratives of their lives as the flat supporting vagina-having characters.

finalbosskitten · 2020-04-24T23:49:14+00:00

my brother tried to literally choke me to death when I was 10, I was abandoned and locked in a room for weeks as a child with no one to talk to. I have never said this shit to anybody besides my best friend and my fiance (which he hasn't used against me) and now you guys. I can't believe people use completely unrelated baggage to justify being a flaming pissant. I mean, my baggage taught me to treat the people I love well...because I want to make them happier, and not suffer like I suffered from vicious people.

supremelyparanoid · 2020-04-24T23:36:52+00:00

Every single one of these guys I’ve dated in the past has come with a sob story and here we’re being told women are the emotional ones 😒

xxritualhowelsxx · 2020-04-25T06:41:46+00:00

My 31 year old ex did this all the time. “Must be because I’m an only child why I don’t ever want to share my apartment with you.” Yes, that’s exactly what you are, a child.

2020-04-25T02:00:20+00:00

Declan 😂

ivy176 · 2020-04-25T02:55:34+00:00

Hahaha. My ex husband used to say his childhood was so rough but it really wasn't! Mine was rougher than his so he had no excuse to be abusive. So many violent people feel like little victims inside.

Alec_Delarge_is_Back · 2020-04-25T03:21:15+00:00

I find that people who have been through abuse usually have more empathy and are less likely to hurt others because they understand what it is like to be in that position.

It's such BS when men act emotionally stunted because they had an ex who did them wrong (if that is even true) and therefore they can't treat you like a human. The entitlement is disgusting.

Tkuhug · 2020-04-25T01:46:14+00:00

Yep, I’m learning day by day I’m going to tell it like it is and say what’s on my mind. It’s all fair game 😁

Leilani29 · 2020-04-25T15:32:32+00:00

Lol apparently "feeling attacked" by a woman's feelings is an excuse to emotionally abuse/gaslight the fuck out of her 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Then if she responds to his bad treatment, SHE is the terrible person & he is the victim.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-04-25T02:13:14+00:00

[removed]

alluringiv · 2020-04-25T00:45:03+00:00

Ugh true

UpbeatIncubator · 2020-04-25T13:02:53+00:00

My observation has been that USUALLY women internalise trauma (self harm, self doubt, low self esteem, etc) and men take it out on others.

greatcathy · 2020-04-25T09:39:56+00:00

Declan 🤣😂

InayahDaneen · 2020-04-25T10:50:37+00:00

An lvm recently provided such an excuse and I ended up ignoring him.

d_e_c_l_a_n_ · 2020-04-25T19:13:45+00:00

Why me

2020-04-25T12:08:08+00:00

Crineeee.

potato5601 · 2020-04-25T07:33:07+00:00

Ugh, my ex was like this. He used his lack of a father figure as an excuse for being a shitty person.

dead_act_here · 2020-04-25T11:01:03+00:00

Disregarding the fact that some childhoods are rife with abuse can cause PTSD and men and women, but men being less able to expressive with emotions, will act out in anger - doesn't excuse abuse. Belittling someone's struggles is bad, even if your own was worse.

woiashenseea · 2020-04-26T04:53:13+00:00

drywall

Sarcastic3 · 2020-04-26T11:11:32+00:00

So tired of this narrative that men has the right to carry their perceived trauma throughout their lives and expecting women to just get over literally everything. It so toxic and so tiresome meeting unavailable men using their traumas as crutch. Grow up.

ashwheee · 2020-04-25T03:32:49+00:00

Why the name Declan? Too specific... isn’t the Karen equivalent version Kyle?

reveniiso · 2020-04-27T17:19:12+00:00

If a guy brings up his sob story or trauma too early on, i immediately regard him as someone with personality disorder and use mirroring by going one step further

If he says hes been abused by Dad? I tell him ive been abused by years at school (which is lie) And still have trauma from it. Its good way to shut up the guy.

Title	Take a seat, Declan.
Author	NaturalRattle
Upvotes	2647
Comments	60
Date	April 24, 2020 11:14 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g7iuwf/take_a_seat_declan/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/take-a-seat-declan.677650 https://theredarchive.com/post/677650

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