The tradcon guide for the modern woman

yggiwtmiih · 2020-12-05T02:03:48+00:00

Nah, when parties at my friends' houses wind down I start gathering guests to help me tidy up, especially men lol. ("Hey, can you help me bring these to the recycle bin?" or "Can you help me bring this inside?") Once I start asking random guests, people start brigading to help out on their own, and the next thing you know all the food and drinks are brought in and the garbage is discarded.

I love my friends and I don't want to leave my friends' houses totally out of order, and it's so much easier when there are many people to split the job. It takes maybe 10 minutes between a small party to put everything where it has to go instead of one person. I think helping out is especially warrented when our mutual friend went through the trouble of hosting us. Just the way I handle parties at friends' houses, though. 🤷‍♀️

yesmme · 2020-12-05T01:22:11+00:00

[deleted]

throwaway23004345 · 2020-12-05T02:10:20+00:00

If the party is all girls and the hostess spent a lot of time cooking then I have no problem helping clean the dishes etc... male host: I don’t think so 😂

disposable20201129 · 2020-12-05T01:31:30+00:00

I cleaned up after a party once, but the only opinion I cared about was the birthday girl's mom's. I didn't see anybody else (cough, dad) around to help.

I don't remember any straight guys there worth any of my time during the party, never mind after 😂

Saitschik · 2020-12-05T02:24:41+00:00

You would never catch me lift a finger. I broke a glass of red wine recently at a party and before I really realized what happened some girls came rushing to clean it up. The men of course not.

My Ex's mother always wanted to push me in this position. Called me into the kitchen to prepare food with her and watched me like a hawk if I "behave" and offer her help with cleaning and yadda yadda. So annoying and traditional, it felt like such a relief when I finally dumped him and got away from this backwards family.

I am allergic to this female conditioning of cooking and cleaning, mothering and sacrificing.

I do none of that, especially not at some dudes party. I was called a "diva" and "princess" because of that. Meant as an insult but I take it as a compliment, lol

palanuik · 2020-12-05T01:44:57+00:00

Ohhhh my youth

Street_Narwhal_3361 · 2020-12-05T02:19:59+00:00

Am I the only one that thinks that in addition to being a pick me move it’s also intrusive and really weird? Like who takes liberties like that in someone else’s home?

riricide · 2020-12-05T04:22:36+00:00

Imagine being a woman in college and still valuing yourself so little that you actually think to yourself in your brain: “If I show I’m willing to clean up spilled food, beer bottles, vomit, and 100s of crusty solo cups, surely one of these 20 guys that just spent 8 hours drinking until they shat themselves will want me!”

Aocwannabe · 2020-12-05T02:05:38+00:00

Can I also add that I think it’s rude when people invite you over and expect you to cook? Or pre- Covid when people throw birthday parties they can’t afford and expect people to split the check? It’s so awkward and somebody always had to overpay.

ChoiceScarfMienfoo · 2020-12-05T04:51:36+00:00

i always clean up after parties bc the only parties i go to are hosted in my good friend's house and i like to make her life a bit easier. literally that's all. it ain't that deep. she gives back by being a bomb friend and being my plant mom while i've moved away temporarily lol.

why would you give free labor to ppl don't appreciate it.

iaintgonnacallyou · 2020-12-05T11:09:26+00:00

In high school, my group of friends tried to shame me for not cleaning up this guys house after the party. He literally sat in there while they cleaned. They called me rude and disrespectful. I was invited as a guest, not as the help.

No, none of them got picked.

gone-aria · 2020-12-05T04:37:13+00:00

I have a kind of nice story related to this:

Years ago I threw a birthday party, I invited my friends and my (ex)boyfriend’s two best friends. My ex had to leave early in the morning for work, but his best friends both stayed behind and helped me clean everything until it was done. I was totally expecting to do all the work myself!

They’re still weirdo pornsick guys at the end of the day, but I’ll appreciate the silver linings when I can!

yfunk3 · 2020-12-05T04:47:48+00:00

I clean up after dinner parties or if I am a guest in someone's home to show gratitude to the host, not to impress anyone. It's how I was brought up, to respect the work that people put towards you.

ETA: Some hwre are saying it's intrusive. I just ask, or I say, "Hey, thanks for cooking. I'll just do the dishes. They won't take long." Usually, they tell me which ones to leave alone for them to handle later, and I always do. But for someone to never even offer as a guest in someone's home, when they spent a lot of time and effort cooking and planning a party for others' enjoyment, is sort of rude, imho.

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-12-05T10:54:14+00:00

I know a woman who is obsessed with cleaning or serving others at parties. She wouldn't sit down ever. It always made me feel bad about myself, like why I'm not like her? And I bet I wasn't the only one who felt like this, it's very distracting at parties.

throughalfanoir · 2020-12-05T08:40:17+00:00

honestly, whether they help to clean up after/when they are the last to stay is a good way to judge someone's character, not just for dating, but, like, in general

cantstopthemachine77 · 2020-12-05T06:39:26+00:00

10 years ago when I was that age and lived with male roommates who occasionally would throw house parties, I use to charge em, a couple adderalls and $30 to clean up after the party. Looking back though, I was selling myself short for all the sticky beer and nastiness I had to clean.

rebel4acause · 2020-12-05T04:22:30+00:00

Oh god, this hurts. Don't remind me. I used to do this my freshman year after parties at my boyfriend's frat. In my defense, I cleaned up mainly littering but yes, I was the girl going around with the trash bag picking up random beer cans and solo cups in the backyard.

Aghhh. I don't know what was wrong with me!

Meadow97 · 2020-12-05T04:43:19+00:00

This is a thing???

takethemonkeynLeave · 2020-12-05T20:55:55+00:00

I still feel sad for my ex's best friend's wife who wore the nickname "Party Mom" like a badge because she took care of cleaning and drank very little at gatherings so her husband could drink a lot. Also, that they're in an open relationship. Low self-esteem disguised as being the "cool girl". PASSSSSSSSS.

libralia · 2020-12-05T04:39:52+00:00

He’s just not that into you....

Mysterious_Service_1 · 2020-12-05T02:54:20+00:00

It's a hell naw from me.

Title	The tradcon guide for the modern woman
Author	yesmme
Upvotes	1339
Comments	49
Date	December 5, 2020 12:34 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k6xdtq/the_tradcon_guide_for_the_modern_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-tradcon-guide-for-the-modern-woman.732298 https://theredarchive.com/post/732298

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