For the past few years, a trend on social media has been appearing that I'm sure most users here are very well aware of. You've most likely seen things like this getting thrown around all over: "Men need women more than woman need men!" or "Men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them." or "If you had a box of chocolate and some of it was crap, you'd never trust chocolate again.", or "Loving men proves sexuality isn't a choice", or maybe "Women aren't your moms, therapists, or bangmaids. Emotional load/labor!" or what about "As a hetero woman, women are better, I wish I was a lesbian." I didn't even cover all of them, because there's so many forms of this same narrative that it's hard to keep track of.
Well, what if I told you there was a word for this? That's right, this is what has become known as Heterofatalism (Or heteropessism, as it was earlier coined). This is the act of heterosexuals, specifically hetero women, hating their own sexuality and wishing they were either lgbt or ace.
Going back a bit, this term started on the sub "Arethestraightsok" (No linking in case that's considered a no no). This was basically a term the users there started using in order to describe a phenomenon where straight women hated the fact they were straight, and then it of course caught on with the feminist movement, where it has slowly but surely been gaining popularity.
Ok, so what is the whole mindset behind this about? It's about heterosexuals, specifically women, hating their sexuality. If you were to go looking this up on YouTube or feminist spaces, the average response for why a woman would identify this way is due to the belief that "Women deserve better." The modern woman of today doesn't deserve bog standard men, only the exceptional men are worth her time. (Of course they'll bring up the disproven studies about women's happiness or medical divorce as evidence) She's strong and independent, so she must deserve the best... or is that what it's really about?
See, because if you ever look up videos or blogs about the subject, a strange trend starts to appear. How they talk about men is actually kind of scary. They want a strong independent guy, so much so he doesn't rely on friends or family (In fact, in one video I saw, the creator said having regular contact with parents, siblings, or grandparents was a red flag in men). He needs to be financially successful, bare minimum just as much as her but ideally more so, but she needs to be his financial priority (No financial decision should be made without her, and his income should take priority in paying for everything). He should be sexually giving and only care about her pleasure but be aok with her not reciprocating anything and everything.
Is this starting to sound somewhat familiar? They want men to take care of her and be absolutely devoted to her, while expecting nothing in return. They want men to take care of them and cherish them as queens, while the guys should just be happy getting whatever scraps she feels like giving.
While the idea may have started in lgbt spaces as a look at why heterowomen are more and more hating their sexuality, it's evolved into a set system of inc3l-adjacent beliefs. Heterofatalist women are femc3ls. Just as an inc3l wants a woman to be his sexual servant, heterofatalist women want the same from men. The only difference between the 2 is that one declares their desire as valid from a place of perceived oppression, so it's much more easily accepted.
But with all that said, what are your thoughts? Is this idea just a trend? Should it be combatted? Is it legit? Do any guys here have issues with similar beliefs or dissolutions?
Also, for anyone curious, I would link the videos in the OP, but I don't want the creators getting views and attention. Can link it in the thread though.
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