I need help.

Input_output_error · 2022-09-03T10:04:37+00:00

Show him a video of a circumcision on a baby, i don't think anyone would agree to that after seeing that shit. Make sure to have one with audio, the sound is not something you want to hear.

northseaview · 2022-09-03T08:40:52+00:00

Above all it is not his choice. It is the son's choice. If the son wants the 'benefits' of circumcision at the risks and trauma, he can choose to do so when he is 18 or an adult.

MelissaMiranti · 2022-09-03T06:57:03+00:00

r/intactivism

4y3u · 2022-09-03T10:45:40+00:00

Really hope he doesn't make such a decision on his own overruling you as the other parent. I think your son can make a decision on his own when he is old enough.

Do you know perhaps another male who can tell the other side of the story? Or an uncircumcised man? In highschool I had a friend who needed to get a circumcision at age 17 due to medical reasons and he was not happy about it, also not happy about living with the result. Maybe another man can give your boyfriend another perspective (but preferably in a nice way so that your boyfriend doesn't feel bad about it).

Punder_man · 2022-09-03T07:04:43+00:00

It sounds like your boyfriend is circumcised and is finding ways to justify doing it to his potential son so that he can justify it having been done to him.

Ask him point blank that if the arguments he's putting up for circumcision hold up.. would they also hold up in regards to circumcising baby girls?
If not then why do it to baby boys?

F-um · 2022-09-03T09:31:46+00:00

My advice would be to speak to him about it again and make it clear that if he doesn't change his mind you will need to have someone with you when the baby is born other than him.

Otherwise, I'd say maybe you should stay at your parents or siblings house until he sees things differently.

AvoidPinkHairHippos · 2022-09-03T09:35:57+00:00

OP, is he religious? Not that religion in any way justifies MGM but it's harder to change one's mind if said person bases the decision on religion

frackingfaxer · 2022-09-03T14:05:28+00:00

For some circumcised men, the very suggestion that their son shouldn't be circumcised is taken very personally. It suggests that there's something wrong with them, so they will stubbornly insist on the procedure so that their kid looks like their dad. It is very difficult for reasoned arguments to get through against such a mindset.

I would therefore suggest avoiding any insinuation that there's something inherently wrong with circumcision. That might be counterproductive here. Instead, emphasize the whole, let him choose when he's old enough point. Maybe treat it like a cosmetic procedure, like getting your ears pierced. It wouldn't be right to do it to an infant, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it. They can pierce their ears after they're at the age of consent, similarly, they can get circumcised then as well.

Konato-san · 2022-09-03T13:02:35+00:00

It might be worth telling him the USA are pretty much the only Western country still circumcising people. I'm uncircumcised (also not American), and while, out of these points, the first one might hold some merit, it's really no reason to mutilate your genitalia.

I'm not gonna try to prove his points wrong as you said you yourself showed him evidence of it, so maybe a little thought experiment could be neat: I wonder what he'd think about removing all of someone's nails and making sure they never grow back; if you do that, it's cleaner and harder to get some object to accidentally go between nail and skin (that shit hurts!). It'd also make the skin stronger.

Maybe you could try saying something like that. Hopefully it won't convince him that you should also remove all of your kid's nails though lmao.

Also, since the two of you can't seem to agree on whether or not to circumcise your son, you could suggest 'why not let him decide for himself?' If keeping it intact is so bad, surely the kid will eventually complain or something, right? You can't undo a circumcision, but you can do it anytime.

hendrixski · 2022-09-03T13:14:11+00:00

A baby doesn't have to last longer during sex (allegedly). That's a choice a consenting adult can make.

If your bf can convince his future son of all of those things, then his future son will get circumcised when he's ready to consent to sex.

intactisnormal · 2022-09-03T20:27:35+00:00

That depends on what kind of person he is. But as a starter give him this info and presentations:

The foreskin is the most sensitive part of the penis. (Full study.)

This presentation from Dr. Guest goes over the medical aspects. He covers the anatomy of the foreskin, the sensations, the medical aspects and statistics, the evolutionary aspects, cultural bias, and medical ethics. https://youtu.be/XwZiQyFaAs0?t=28m20s Long but informative.

This presentation from Ethicist Brian Earp excellently covers the medical ethics, cultural norms, and social aspects https://youtu.be/SB-2aQoTQeA Focused on ethics and does an excellent job on that.

This presentation "Circumcision An Elephant in the Hospital" from Research Assistant Professor Ryan McAllister challenges the normality of circumcision from both a social and medical perspective: https://youtu.be/Ceht-3xu84I Shorter than Guest's presentation.

Oh but it helps men last longer in bed

R.N. Marilyn Milos discusses that the “nerve endings in the ridged band (foreskin) are the accelerator that allow the man to ride the wave to orgasm. When they’re cut off the man is left with an off/on switch instead of an accelerator. Men who say they couldn’t stand more sensation don’t understand that the nerve endings in the ridged band give quality not quantity.”

For medical info, you can both read this: https://cps.ca/en/documents/position/circumcision

Eleusis713 · 2022-09-03T17:19:18+00:00

As other's have said, try showing him a actual video of a circumcision being done. This is often enough to shake someone to their senses. You should also make clear to the doctors beforehand of your intentions, maybe even put it in writing. Below is my usual response to this topic, you could try showing him this information.

Circumcision is a barbaric practice passed down from our religious roots. Historically, the express purpose of this procedure was to reduce sensation/pleasure to disincentivize masturbation and sex before marriage. Circumcision violates four core human rights documents—the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the Convention on the Rights of the Child, the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, and the Convention Against Torture.

Circumcising infants is a violation of bodily autonomy, full stop. This alone is reason enough not to do it. There's also no compelling medical benefits for non-therapeutic circumcision.

We conclude that non-therapeutic circumcision performed on otherwise healthy infants or children has little or no high-quality medical evidence to support its overall benefit.

There are a myriad of harmful consequences of male genital mutilation which are outlined in this very informative comment with lots of sources. One of the primary negative side effects is the significant loss of sensation due to the removal of several of the most sensitive parts of the penis as well as the keratinization of the glands. Fine touch sensation it almost entirely removed and the foreskin itself has enough nerve endings for pleasure to be comparable to the female clitoris.

Not only are there no compelling medical benefits for non-therapeutic circumcision and many harmful consequences, but there's a profit motive to keep it a routine practice. Infant foreskins are sold by hospitals to stem cell and cosmetic companies. Many women's cosmetics are made with infant foreskins.

Furthermore, there's also a lot of misinformation when comparing MGM to FGM. Here's another informative comment that compares the differences between MGM and FGM. There are four different forms of FGM and when people refer to FGM, they usually aren't taking this into account. Typically, when people say things like "but FGM is worse than MGM", they're referring to the worst and least common type of FGM. When you actually break it down, MGM is far worse than the most common types of FGM in the world. If FGM is unacceptable, then why is MGM still acceptable?

omegaphallic · 2022-09-03T18:58:11+00:00

Make him watch American Circumcision and if all else fails, consult a lawyer. Make it abudantly clear that if he have your son mutiliated behind your back, you done with him.

veddX · 2022-09-03T22:47:36+00:00

In my experience I've found that using logic is more persuasive than science because it makes them feel like they reached the conclusion by themselves and not given to them readily by someone else. Tell him that if the kid isn't cut and wants to be cut as an adult he can always get it done with an informed meaningful consent but if his cut as a kid and doesn't want to be cut as an adult he won't be able to reverse what happened to him, and if he denies the existence of men who hate bring circumcised show him r/circumcisiongrief and r/intactivism.

You could also make him watch American Circumcision documentary, I can't bring myself to watch it but from the reactions to it it seems to be great.

34T_y3r_v3ggi3s · 2022-09-03T18:00:29+00:00

I'm circumcised, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. I had no say in the matter. You're BF seems very selfish if that's what he's so motivated by. He wasn't given a choice either, but I think many men would rather keep their foreskin if they actually knew what they are missing. Just because he happens to like having gotten it done, that doesn't mean an unsuspecting and non consensual infant does.

Zaronax · 2022-09-03T13:14:11+00:00

Make him hear the screams of a baby getting circumcised.

LakiL_ · 2022-09-05T20:05:45+00:00

For the love of Odin, don't do this.

The entire world doesn't do that and everyone is fine. (Except in extreme cases of phimosis)

Don't circumcise him. Don't make the start of his journey more painful than it already is.

RockmanXX · 2022-09-03T11:02:45+00:00

How do I get him to understand that child genital mutilation is kind of a fucking no-no, even if he had it done to him and he likes it?

Stand your ground and tell him you're gonna leave him if he does it. Also, can he really do it without your consent? I thought Doctors required consent from both parents?

AdAcademic4290 · 2022-09-03T17:30:30+00:00

When he says it makes men last longer in bed say

'Unfortunately, cut men often have orgasm difficulties, just like cut women'

Gnome_Child_Deluxe · 2022-09-03T16:54:58+00:00

Confront him on it and tell him he sounds like a woman trying to rationalize cutting into her daughter's clitoris because it happened to her as well and she's fine with it.

Obviously requires him to already believe FGM is a bad practice in the first place, and you probably need to be able to hold strong against an hour of "that's different because rationalization" arguments.

FailAggravating6834 · 2022-09-05T22:59:16+00:00

I mean if he wants to do it for himself, I don't see a problem with that. But just like he has a choice, your son should have a choice too. If he doesn't understand that you might want to look for someone else

khandnalie · 2022-09-03T14:30:03+00:00

sigh

I will get downvoted for this, but circumcision is fine. It's not mutilation. Just talk to him. Maybe you'll convince him, maybe he'll convince you. But neither of you will get very far if one of you sees it as "mutilation" and the other one sees it as a beneficial procedure.

coolboy_24278 · 2022-09-04T00:25:32+00:00

is he Jewish?!

Title	I need help.
Author	Automatic_Biscotti31
Upvotes	96
Comments	46
Date	September 3, 2022 6:50 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/x4nvb7/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/i-need-help.1130281 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130281

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