In an attempt to avoid validating women that are fishing for compliments, what would be the proper response to a women that asks for/expects my opinion on her outfit, perfume, etc.?

DonMelbourne · 2020-08-24T12:34:37+00:00

If she's a friend: the truth. If she's not a friend: the truth, but quicker.

Thotsithinknots · 2020-08-24T13:24:36+00:00

Whatever you honestly thinks - who even overthinks this bullshit

casra888 · 2020-08-24T13:09:16+00:00

"Do you like it? if so, why does anyone else opinion matter? If not, why does anyone elses opinion matter?" "No, your ass makes the jeans look fat. Not the other way around."

Victaugali · 2020-08-24T12:50:25+00:00

Say "It's not bad" I guess

Impossible-asset · 2020-08-24T15:02:04+00:00

Dude.... OP... listen up to your old Drunk Uncle Impossoble-Asset.

Don't define your actions based around denying someone else "validation".

It's a waste of your time, effort, and only serves to make you embittered.

If someone asks you your thoughts about something like that, give your honest thoughts. Sometimes conversation is just conversation. ..

Youre welcome.

AllInWithAces · 2020-08-24T13:37:27+00:00

You seem to be viewing casual conversation as some sort of battle ground. A girl asks you “you like this shirt?” And your first instinct is “how do I avoid validating her”

Seems wildly unhealthy. How about we just answer questions honestly and stop worrying about “winning” the conversation?

Siganid · 2020-08-24T12:58:05+00:00

"Was it free?"

Grave_Heresy · 2020-08-24T14:52:41+00:00

I personally avoid commenting on female non-relatives outer appearance.

Not so much to avoid validating them (Though partially so) but because it is too big of a sexual harassment risk.

This is double for co-workers. You are basically begging them to make an HR complaint.

If she asks you then tell her "I have no opinion on the matter"

Irish-Fritter · 2020-08-24T15:48:50+00:00

Just treat them like another dude, like they have always wanted. Lay the truth on them like a ten-ton slab

40moreyears · 2020-08-24T13:15:42+00:00

“Fine. Everything you’re asking about is just fine.”

brandizzle07 · 2020-08-24T13:07:12+00:00

“ It’s aight “

akihonj · 2020-08-24T14:03:25+00:00

I'd say it depends on the context

Say a work setting then it depends on your position in the company, too high and you open yourself to accusations, high enough and you put yourself into a position where the accusation can stick.

A stranger in a lift say, stay away from it, evade it if possible, too risky, respond with either I don't know or do you like it, then my opinion doesn't matter.

A friend that you've known for a while then you can be honest.

A friend you've known for a short while then you can give an opinion but not be too honest, stick with yeah it suits you or not really my thing.

A good evasion tactic I've used is to throw sarcasm out there, so she starts fishing asking your opinion and you come back with a slight smile and day the event works for some, give her a smile and leave it at that.

Now they can take that as flirting or as an insult, either way it leave you with an out. At the end of the day that is what you want, a way to get out of the conversation without leaving yourself open to anything.

Maximum_Afternoon · 2020-08-24T14:20:45+00:00

"Smells like you're submitting to the patriarchy."

NotherThrowaway284 · 2020-08-24T15:26:01+00:00

This one's easy (it's a subtle deflection and should be delivered with a somewhat dismissive atttitude):

"You look fine; what're you worried about?"

2020-08-24T13:57:59+00:00

Black knighting.

Sun-fl0wers · 2020-08-24T14:16:48+00:00

Be honest.. a response to this shouldn’t have to be rehearsed

Loban8990 · 2020-08-24T16:53:17+00:00

Nice. I bought something similar for my grandmother

Zix_Workshop · 2020-08-24T16:59:59+00:00

"It's clothing." That's the best way I can say that I don't care without just outright saying "I don't care."

By saying that it's clothing, no one can be mad. You're just stating a fact.

SkidNutz · 2020-08-24T13:32:20+00:00

That's nice! Gotta go take a shit now. Brb. 🏃‍♂️💨

Dls95405 · 2020-08-24T13:43:38+00:00

The only thing women want to hear from men are those things that make women feel good. All else is 'toxic masculinity'.

null_xD · 2020-08-24T13:50:00+00:00

"I don't care"

LuntingMan · 2020-08-24T15:05:31+00:00

“I think it’s fitting.” It’s not good or bad, it just suits the occasion and is acceptable. Can’t guarantee they’ll be happy about your reply though, likely will be angry you didn’t boost their ego

cums0cks · 2020-08-24T15:11:34+00:00

I have frequently found myself in this situation and found the proper response is to say the very flattering thing she wants to hear in an exaggerated, sarcastic manner. Of course she won't buy it, so the key is to stick to your guns so this kind of response becomes expected and she stops asking.

Taguroizumo · 2020-08-24T15:34:20+00:00

Does my opinion matter? Will it change anything?

Or my personal favorite: i am indifferent. That destroys any woman. It just shows us that she is insignificant however you werent rude. You just showed the world she doesn't matter.

cholmanattom · 2020-08-24T15:49:40+00:00

Tell her you don't give a damn.

2020-08-24T16:35:46+00:00

That isn't fishing for compliments man, that's directly asking what you think about something. Fishing for compliments involves tricking you to some degree, it involves puttimg down a lure and hoping you mistake it for something edible. It usually involves neghing themselves so that you feel compelled to compliment.

If it looks good, say so. If it smells good, say so. I'm not fishing for compliments when I show a guest the paintings I have up.

P748d5472 · 2020-08-24T16:36:57+00:00

Say, " where did you find that outfit"

( Let the bitch boast)

Say "Oh that's nice"

slavicslothe · 2020-08-24T16:42:35+00:00

This is some incel shit.

Plastic-Building-526 · 2020-08-24T17:09:50+00:00

Does my ass look big in this dress? Yeah it looks big in most dresses tbh

How do i smell? Pretty bad

I will answer like this for any attractive female that is obviously fishing for compliments.. If the girl is really unattractive, a good person and genuinely needs some help with self esteem i will however just say what she wants to hear.

dashtekk35 · 2020-08-24T17:15:58+00:00

Ignore

excess_inquisitivity · 2020-08-24T17:29:38+00:00

Be absurdly neutral, and change the subject in the most obvious way possible.

"You are indeed wearing an outfit. I am in general support of people wearing clothes in circumstances such as these. By the way, have you seen any pigeons lately?

"Your perfume does have a scent. It seems to meet the characteristic one might expect from perfume. I must alert the cleaning staff that we need more paper towels."

twotracker · 2020-08-24T17:33:23+00:00

If she is a friend tell her the truth . If not and she is looking from a single guy out look ... Suggest that she talk to her man .... If she doesn't have one then you have done your task ....👍

rb5775 · 2020-08-24T17:54:30+00:00

Silence. Leave.

JackSkell0255 · 2020-08-24T17:56:44+00:00

“It’s nice you like it.”

Doing-Life · 2020-08-24T18:00:07+00:00

I tell them that it bothers me and I think I'm allergic to it. Never tell them it smells good or that i like it.

kingsmith02 · 2020-08-24T18:05:02+00:00

Easy. "Yeah, I'm not commenting"

Doesn't matter what they expect.....juat don't do it. Everyone who commented below all valid in one way or another.

Could you just tell truth on how you feel no matter of harsh it not...yes. Could it set you up for a whirlwind fallout somewhere down the line....yes. Could it involve you in some kind of harrassment suit....yes.

No what keeps you out of all of that....just not doing it.

TheSud007 · 2020-08-24T18:13:19+00:00

Lol whatever you think. I always say fine and role my eyes in a playful way for plausible deniability

PurpleRod2016 · 2020-08-24T19:20:58+00:00

Just say it's shaped out by patriarchal society

cryptoholiday · 2020-08-24T19:26:53+00:00

The best thing you can do for your wallet and mental health is to ignore women. Don't offer compliments and don't enter into these compliment traps. Nothing good can come from it. .

Alex09-09 · 2020-08-24T19:43:44+00:00

I simply just look at her and don't say a word. It's awkward for 30 seconds; but it works well. The amount of times this has happened to me from women all of ages has shown me how incredibly narcissistic women can be. Also; you say one thing even remotely sexual- like this outfit fits you well- you risk a sexual harassment complaint. Just keep quite.

happyhappyhuman · 2020-08-24T19:46:38+00:00

Give her the compliment unless doing so would genuinely result in embarrassment or distress shortly after. At the end of the day, be nice to people when doing so does you no harm. Positive social interaction is still a good thing after all.

The_Mole_Dizzle · 2020-08-24T20:27:16+00:00

Looks like a dirty rag you pulled out af a dumpster

Alsavir · 2020-08-24T20:31:22+00:00

The naked truth. Plain and simple. No need for other useless bull

sevensliders · 2020-08-24T20:31:24+00:00

Directness.

"What do you think about my outfit?"

It's fine.

"You like my perfume?"

S'alright.

deepspace7 · 2020-08-24T20:33:22+00:00

Just say “Looks fine.” Don’t need to put more thought into it since it’s trivial.

1st10Amendments · 2020-08-24T20:43:40+00:00

Honesty tempered with red pill.

For example, to, “does this dress make me look fat?” you could say, “it certainly fits you well and it’s my favorite color,” but don’t answer the question she asked.

Or, to “do I look fat in this dress?” you can retort, “do you think I look stupid? How am I supposed to answer that? What do you expect me to say?”

I personally can not detect odors, and I readily admit it. To “do you like this perfume?” I will say, “you could be on fire and I wouldn’t know until I heard the screaming and saw the smoke. I can not tell the difference between carnations and a cat litter box. You’re asking the wrong person.”

laptopdragon · 2020-08-24T20:55:38+00:00

Be brutally honest.

Worst I think I did was my ~~current~~ (at the time) girlfriends best friend comes out with this really cool quiltwork dress (and the design and fabric was cool, I could see why she bought it) where she asked "how do I look" while posing all hammy.

She was about 21, 22 and I've known her since high school (about 8 years) and she *was* a 9/10 but the past few years put on a few pounds. We were friends and did lots of outings together as a bunch of young people do.

Well as she's posing trying to be hot this dress accentuated her extra lbs and I bluntly said "you look twice as fat", while my gf gave me the shock face her *not really overly (yet)* fat friend in the dress immediately replied "I know" as she looked in a mirror and went on to say she just couldn't resist buying it anyways. I told her not to be offended, I was just answering how I do and lets go out and have fun, that dress still is awesome, we're all friends, and who cares if the taxi has a weight limit (that really broke the elephant in the room).

We went on to stay friends longer than I expected and while we don't communicate much any longer I was invited to her wedding a few years later.

point is don't change you for others. If people befriend you it's b/c of who you are.

2020-08-24T21:20:22+00:00

I think I must naturally just tune that shit out, or people just know me well enough not to ask

2020-08-24T21:39:11+00:00

I’d say the truth. I’d also say there is nothing wrong with being nice and validating a woman either.

I’d advise against it if the sole purpose was to try get into their knickers.

But if they just want validation and they are genuinely sexy I will just say it.

I don’t hate women.

I do not like the court system though.

At the end of the day guys like pussy women like security. I have no judgments on either side.

However the court system is out dates and is too much one sided.

ChadManning1989 · 2020-08-24T21:54:04+00:00

Say "I don't care."

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2020-08-24T22:32:38+00:00

Depends if I'm in the mood to even deal with these chicks or not. I might agree and amplify their self insult or play dumb dumb. Whether you're trying to hook up with that chick or not ...both are NOT validating her so they both work.

Alturius · 2020-08-25T11:43:09+00:00

I usually say something along the lines of ...

"You are talking to the wrong person! Do I look like I wear dresses and perfume? OK maybe when on one's around" (Laugh at that point).

"You are the one wearing it, so go with what YOU like".

RedPillTruth10 · 2020-08-25T13:09:37+00:00

“ You’ll look good next to me wearing that “

-Hawky- · 2020-08-25T13:56:48+00:00

"You look fine" matter of factly. Is she saving lives? Or did she shower...

sapphicboethiah · 2020-08-25T18:53:59+00:00

just shrug and say "its ok"

if she's fishing for a compliment that'll shit her down super quick

Perseus_the_Bold · 2020-08-26T03:34:56+00:00

Q: What would be the proper response to a women that asks for/expects my opinion on her outfit, perfume, etc.?

A: "How does that dress, perfume, skirt, shoes etc... make you feel? Turn around for me let me see/smell etc... Smile." (At this point you give your real opinion)

Breakdown: First you do not answer the question - at first. You shift the burden of answering back unto her by asking her how she feels about whatever she is modeling for you. Once here attention is on herself you then respond by commanding her to model it in under the light of your perspective. This establishes that you are taking control here - that your opinion should mater to her because you are the one in charge now - and that her feelings are no longer subject to arbitrary feelings but to your actual judgement which now depends on her performance of the micro tasks you give her such as turning around, changing style, scent, etc.

In essence when a woman is asking for a compliment she is really asking for validation - give it to her only after she meets your conditions because this sends the message that your time and your perspective is what is important here and her task is to live up to it and then providing her with simple instructions on how she can be worthy of that micro-validation. Sounds manipulative but this is the only way to deal with women according to their nature. They will only respect your opinion if you demonstrate that you have power and control by dictating what you believe is attractive through the action of directing her towards your good graces. In her mind she will see you as being in charge and also guiding her to actually look better without making her insecure. If she looks bad this fact will be implied in your corrections and she will be spared a sense of insecurity and instead foster a sense of obedience.

I know this sounds manipulative but it's really not. It's the simplest way to 1. spare her feelings since she is already putting herself on the line by asking your opinion and 2. Foster for yourself a sense of respect in her eyes by taking charge, initiative, and leadership in such a mundane little thing. You're not being a dick, you are simply taking charge and establishing the value of your opinion in a subtle way that women unconsciously respond to.

ThePandaShow1990 · 2020-08-24T14:49:58+00:00

Just tell the truth... wth? Lol

In an attempt to avoid validating women that are fishing for compliments, what would be the proper response to a women that asks for/expects my opinion on her outfit, perfume, etc.?

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