Funny but relevant: Why do men hate celebrating their birthdays

Asatmaya · 2023-10-27T14:08:16+00:00

Birthdays are traumatic for me.

My parents forgot a couple of years when I was a kid, and then my tenth birthday was an unbelievable disaster (all my friends got food poisoning, my Mom cut her toe off, and my brother ran over the cat), and I wasn't really... around... for my birthdays through most of my teenage years.

I do remember my 21st birthday; they got really mad at the bar I had been working at, because they thought I was already 21, and I'd been drinking there for years.

I spent at least one birthday in jail, but those are the fuzzy years.

These days, well, only one of my three grown children remembered it this year...

Diesel-66 · 2023-10-27T14:32:19+00:00

Decades of people giving shitty gifts (that junk by the cash register), being given a cake that I hate because others like it, never enjoyed being the center of attention because that means I was about to be insulted or attacked.

No idea why I don't like them

LowLifeExperience · 2023-10-27T15:16:42+00:00

This is what I have noticed and still holds true. In a family with all boys, the birthdays are rarely celebrated as large events. In families with all girls, they are usually celebrated as big events. In families with a mix of boys and girls, the girls get large birthdays and the boys get something more low key. I don’t know why this, but it conditions boys that turn into men to not really celebrate things as much. I feel this way about holidays as well. If we aren’t included, we emotionally learn to guard ourselves by treating it like it isn’t that big of a deal.

AnFGhoster · 2023-10-27T13:58:05+00:00

Because I'm sick of being reminded how much I used to enjoy them when now most people don't give enough of a shit to say anything nevermind do anything.

Background_Break2106 · 2023-10-27T14:00:29+00:00

What a drag it us getting old....and after a certain point it's just a number. People keep telling me to act my age, but I've never been this old before, lolz

SparkleCharm · 2023-10-27T14:16:42+00:00

Personally, it's because I hate being the center of attention where every one of my moves is watched for the better or worse. I also don't think getting older is worth celebrating. Crowded events with a lot of people aren't comfortable for me as well.

rezonansmagnetyczny · 2023-10-27T15:12:32+00:00

Or everything turns out they didn't want to surprise us with a party, gifts or an event for our birthdays, they just wanted something to stick on Instagram for their own validation requirements

HighMageVegan · 2023-10-27T15:27:52+00:00

Because I have nobody to share it with.

pm_me_your_buttbulge · 2023-10-28T01:38:29+00:00

My wife gives me gifts she wants for my birthday. She'd been talking for a few years about Vegas. So November she's like "do you want to go to Vegas for your birthday or something else? I specifically said "eh, Vegas doesn't really sound fun". Guess where we ended up going?

So when we got back I said "yeah, one or two things was fun but eh..." she was angry. "You said you wanted it!" - no, no I did not. YOU have been saying you wanted it.

It was also almost twice as expensive as she said it would be - like I told her in the first place.

Every birthday is like this.

She'd mentioned wanting to go to San Antonio several times. So I thought I'd pool money from family members for xmas (because xmas around there is nice). She was PISSED because, and I quote, "I wanted to give YOU that gift!" - so there it was. She openly said it.

When I pointed out how selfish that was of her she got even more angry.

We're likely getting a divorce soon if she can't learn to handle accountability.

She's seeing a therapist and she's not liking what she's hearing. If that doesn't work out - I'm done.

RelativisticPeanut · 2023-10-27T16:18:27+00:00

I hate any event where I have to try to pretend I'm happy and my life is wonderful. It's not. I hate being in this planet. I'd rather be dead. I don't like the reminders that I'm not dead.

rjm101 · 2023-10-27T15:40:57+00:00

Because it's just a reminder that you're getting old.

Birthdays only make sense when you're 18 or under.

Normal_Machine4548 · 2023-10-27T14:23:41+00:00

Most middle aged/ older men hate surprises..... no news is good news ....

lumpynose · 2023-10-27T17:33:21+00:00

I'd flip it around and ask why women get so excited about birthdays when men are so "meh" about it.

GermanKrusty · 2023-10-28T06:47:08+00:00

Maybe because:

Its HER Birthday: Go to shiny ass restaurant and YOU have to Pay.

Its YOUR Birthday: Go to shiny ass restaurant and YOU have to Pay.

Johntoreno · 2023-10-27T17:12:03+00:00

"Birthdays are like regrets, they just keep coming. Each one a new scar that slows you down and drags you closer to your grave."

~~Max Payne

Strong_Bumblebee5495 · 2023-10-27T19:57:40+00:00

Who wants to be the centre of attention for a whole day… hard pass… you want to celebrate me, give me the day off

danielm316 · 2023-10-27T21:27:03+00:00

I am a very lonely person, that is why I don’t like birthdays.

FiveMagicBeans · 2023-10-27T21:43:20+00:00

Because nobody really give a shit what I want and doesn't put in any effort to get me something I'll enjoy.

Happens with most events where people are asked to exchange gifts. I'll spend hours pondering what I think someone might really like and may even ask a few close friends if my choice is on target...

Annnd, then I'll get something generic and meaningless in return.

Not worth the effort. Why don't we both just buy ourselves something we'll enjoy, shake hands and move on.

SpacelessChain1 · 2023-10-27T16:34:22+00:00

Heading into the maritime industry means many birthdays and holidays will occur far from family, and I’ll be lucky if they occur in port and not in the middle of the ocean. It’s a state of being really. As a cadet I got a balloon on my door about a week late when someone kind caught wind of the occasion, and back on the training ship they had premade plates of candy that you picked up from the lunch line the day of, but in general it’s just an accepted fact that nobody’s special even for just a day.

herooftheday1986 · 2023-10-28T02:06:27+00:00

Because all we want is to be alone to watch the game or play video games. Celebrating with even more people sucks lol.

geralt6865 · 2023-10-28T02:20:54+00:00

maybe because it's a bit like father's day/mothers day.

Women get pampered and a day off parenting.

Men get to do a day of being a perfect parent.

I don't mind, I like spending time with my kids. Except I'd like someone to bring me a sandwhich and a beer, say thanks, and not make me get out of bed for a special breakfast with other dads and their kids who I don't knoe.

birthdays a bit the same.

Levithos · 2023-10-27T23:10:12+00:00

Because no one cares, so eventually, we start not caring either. The not caring starts happening around when we hit puberty and lose the boyish charm.

FappingFop · 2023-10-28T01:45:14+00:00

I don’t do birthdays anymore. Not mine, not anyone else’s. I will hangout and wish them well, but I don’t want anything and I am done playing the game of “how much do you love me” with gifts.

aigars2 · 2023-10-27T20:00:00+00:00

True life story

grandma_jizzzzzzzard · 2023-10-27T17:23:54+00:00

While on this topic, I’d love to ask…what should I get my (49F) husband (56M) for his birthday? He ALWAYS says “nothing” or better, “Time.”

It’s difficult to shop for men bc most retail/online stores cater to women bc we obviously spend more money (and typically not our own money).

He has been RP’d since I introduced him to MGTOW principles about 7 years ago. We are not legally married but I see him and treat him as my husband because he deserves respect, love and admiration.

If any of you fine gentleman could offer suggestions on what a 56yo man actually would enjoy as a bday gift, and I apologize for threadjacking, I would very much appreciate your input.

Thank you in advance!

Dismal-Diet9958 · 2023-10-27T15:02:07+00:00

Getting to dang old

AllGearedUp · 2023-10-28T00:28:32+00:00

I don't think it has much to do with me being a man. I just don't get the point of it. I'd rather celebrate an achievement instead of just going around the sun again.

Applepieoverdose · 2023-10-28T00:36:54+00:00

Personally, I’ve sort of decided to celebrate my next one (30th). I’m thinking of making it a funeral, because I’ll get a kick out of being macabre (and honestly a bit tasteless). Gives me an excuse to dress to the 9s and ask others to dress “appropriately” as well

El-Carretero · 2023-10-27T14:34:44+00:00

Pretty much for the reason stated.

vorare3561 · 2023-10-27T18:37:58+00:00

Because every year is one step closer to hitting the great Wall. Women know once that happens, all the pretty privilege disappears.

tbu987 · 2023-10-27T18:40:33+00:00

Why should people celebrate birthdays? Theres already so many times in a year people can gift each other gifts or hold parties birthdays are too random and inconvenient.

SgtSplacker · 2023-10-28T03:52:29+00:00

I celebrate my birthday the weekend before and after, never the day of. Narcissists love to ruin birthdays and we have to many of those around to take chances.

dr3adlock · 2023-10-28T11:20:34+00:00

I have just mentioned in r/femanism can they stop saying "why do men do this" and instead "some men" would make more sense. We should do the same.

smoishymoishes · 2023-10-28T13:20:58+00:00

Ugh I loooathe when a broad gets her fella a non-present present.

I go all out for my fella. It ain't hard to listen to him throughout the year and buy him what he wants. The hard part is trying to keep it a secret because I get excited.

anxietyAHthowaway · 2023-10-28T16:48:37+00:00

I think it's that a lot of people close to them only really show love in a selfish kinda way.

My dad had a ton of interests we could have gotten him gifts for, but when I was little my mom would just let me pick him a tie and slap my name on it.

He's a blue collar worker, mf only ever wore ties for date nights and funerals.

Clemicus · 2023-10-28T23:21:17+00:00

It’s being reminded no one really knows what you like or what your hobbies are and with each coming year the disappointment just increases

No_Assumption_5864 · 2023-10-27T19:06:31+00:00

Because it's no sense and a waste of time

somguy-_- · 2023-10-27T19:07:55+00:00

Hate... No. I just don't care and it's a waste of time.

Rude_Shock343 · 2023-10-28T02:14:29+00:00

Because the women always tell us what to do on my birthday and buy me dumb ass shit that is a waste of money and that I will never use.... never anything I actually want...And I have to dress up and go to some fancy ass restaurant and spendxmire money to get explosive diahrea.

when all I want is a salami and cheese sammy, and BJ, and to take a nap.

IthrowAwayYourAdvice · 2023-10-27T16:21:51+00:00

Birthdays are just a reminder for me how far behind I am and how I failed in life, I celebrated recently and I hated it, glad when it was finally over and everyone had left, still haven't washed the dishes

KrazyJazz · 2023-10-27T17:28:07+00:00

Why would I want to celebrate the constant shitshow called life?

flossraptor · 2023-10-27T19:51:47+00:00

The greatest celebration of my birthday ever probably amounted to disgusting supermarket cake and a ten second "happy birthday" with zero guests. I don't even remember my own birthdays because they were exactly the same as my brother's. The last time this happened, I was probably 15-16. Thus I was taught that birthdays are not a positive experience, but an annoyance.

The notion of a catered fifty guest bonanza because "birthday" is inconceivable to anyone who isn't a girl raised in a middle class home.

standard_tissue · 2023-10-28T02:28:24+00:00

When I was younger (I’m 29 now) birthdays were a lot of fun for me. I would have friends over, there would be cake, and it was my day. Now, it’s rare I even get a “happy birthday” from anybody. At work they list everyone’s birthday on the fridge. My female coworkers go crazy about it. Getting each other gifts, saying “happy birthday” non-stop, and giving that person a crap ton of attention. Something I’d like for sure. The kicker is, this past year I shared my birthday at work with a new coworker. Everyone acknowledged her, but not me. Felt pretty lonely after that.

United_Illustrator_5 · 2023-10-27T17:30:16+00:00

Not just men women too.

DeDeepKing · 2023-10-27T18:13:56+00:00

not every

Strength-Resident · 2023-10-28T03:15:37+00:00

I don't like people having to remember my birthday. I find it a nuisance. I imagine most people do too. Plus I'm not 10 anymore.

Thal-creates · 2023-10-28T05:50:56+00:00

God this vocalIed something I havent put to wirds before

Nachtlicht_ · 2023-10-28T09:06:13+00:00

Never had anyone to celebrate it with, anyone who would want to do it with me sincerely by themselves. Even now, when I have such a person, it's still a matter of a habit to feel weird and anxious on this day.

Ok_Persimmon5690 · 2023-10-28T09:34:12+00:00

I don’t have much people to celebrate with.

Top_Farm_9371 · 2023-10-28T14:49:46+00:00

I like to celebrate accomplishments. Not dying is not an accomplishment, unless you turn 100. I don't like unnecessary consumerism and most gifts suck. Lastly, women go to the other extreme on birthdays especially in a relationship. It's all about them, and the other 364 days don't mean anything if you don't go all out and spend a ton of money on them on this one day.

Title	Funny but relevant: Why do men hate celebrating their birthdays
Author	Mode1961
Upvotes	200
Comments	72
Date	October 27, 2023 1:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/17hnxlm/funny_but_relevant_why_do_men_hate_celebrating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/funny-but-relevant-why-do-men-hate-celebrating.1236506 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236506

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