Ideas on Slut Shaming

Rozeline · 2012-01-20T02:16:13+00:00

I don't get why sex is even a thing. I wish to live in a society where sex is not a big fucking deal, birth control of all types are widely available, and no one gives a shit what adults do with each other. I mean, who gives a shit if Sally wants to sleep with one man her entire life or 12 men and 36 women... I don't see why anyone should be shamed for having sex. We're just animals and that's what animals do. Besides, it's the most fun you can have for free.

vaughg · 2012-01-20T01:11:59+00:00

IMO women are far more likely to do slut shaming, perhaps to either sex, than men. The dynamics of it are probably well explained looking at social biology, if someone cares to get into that. But I guess I'm not clear on what you are saying.

drinkthebleach · 2012-01-20T02:10:25+00:00

We're the other way around when a guy isn't a slut. I wasn't ready to lose my virginity when I was 16, and I had two girls nearly rape me (at separate times.) Because they took it like it was a damn challenge. Also I'm just now learning EVERYONE I knew thought I was gay.

broskiboboski · 2012-01-20T03:56:22+00:00

Some men just don't find women who have had many partners attractive some do. Probably goes both ways for women as well. Personally I would never date a woman who has had to many partners.

2012-01-20T06:40:55+00:00

You're forgetting the more obvious hypocrisy where women think it's ok to shame men for being virgins.

failbus · 2012-01-20T04:58:28+00:00

If you truly want to see slut shaming in action, go watch people talk about r/seduction. Here's men who have figured out the techniques to help women overcome their natural fears of being a slut, and are universally maligned as manipulating women and caring only about having sex and treating women like meat.

No doubt there are some really negative attitudes towards women in r/seduction, but to hear the majority criticism, the mere act of learning an opening set makes you a horrible person.

Ironically the people who criticize PUAs the most also insist such a routine would never, ever work on them, which makes me wonder what they're so upset about. It's almost like they're afraid it would work, and they blame the man for "forcing" them into it the way one might blame an effective computer salesman for upselling you on all the options plus an HDMI cable.

themountaingoat · 2012-01-20T04:39:42+00:00

I agree 100% that it is hypocritical to complain about slut shaming and then criticize men for wanting to have sex.

Miley_Cyrax · 2012-01-20T02:45:08+00:00

Generally men don't dislike sluts, men just dislike sluts for long term relationships.

For men who have an eye on long-term relationships, the more slutty women there are as a percentage of the population, the fewer suitable girlfriends and/or wives there are, so you may see some men complaining from that vantage point.

However, slut-shaming is much stronger from females. The more female sexual access is provided (i.e, the sluttier women are), the lazier men are in courtship and slower in agreeing to monogamous relationships.

Supply and demand and evolutionary biology care not for people's delicate gender egalitarian sensibilities.

theburningsun · 2012-01-20T02:27:05+00:00

A relevant article that was submitted recently.

newtothelyte · 2012-01-20T04:52:01+00:00

Its just something women say when they are pissed at men in general. Just like how guys always say "man, women are sneaky conniving bitches". Obviously thats an overgeneralization, but it holds some ground. This, similarly, applies to women, except, they say when are dogs blah blah blah. We do it too.

Demonspawn · 2012-01-20T06:26:57+00:00

You're not even making the correct comparison.

Compare female slut shaming with male "I bet you can't get laid" and then you'll have an even more powerful comparison.

Basically I find it wrong how society accepts that shaming women is wrong, but then are accepting of shaming male sexuality.

Our society doesn't shame women... PERIOD. That's where it has gone horribly wrong.

ignatiusloyola · 2012-01-20T13:58:50+00:00

Women use slut shaming against other women more than men do, in my experience. And it is women who more often spread the stereotype that men are addicted to sex, which is what you seem to be saying is the anti-male form of slut shaming (and I think you make a good point there).

I am not sure who, but I recall someone mentioning a book that these kinds of tactics are methods by some groups to maintain control over sex. It isn't that all women use slut shaming tactics, but a select group of them seem to against both genders - sexual puritans, in many senses. The goal really seems to be to control sex, because whether or not people are addicted to it, it is something that people will eventually want. And if you can control someone through that, then you have power over them.

There are certainly some feminists who slut shame while others are anti-slut shaming... But that is no different than the divides within the Men's Rights movement between people who are more traditional and those who are not.

PuppyPuppies · 2012-01-20T04:16:51+00:00

I think it's the opposite, honestly. In my experience, I see women as generally shamed for having lots of sex, whereas men are shamed for not having enough sex.

Culturally, men are supposed to sexually dominant, experienced and always trying to get more sex. Of course this is nonsense, not all men are these sex-hounds that are portrayed in the media (not that there's anything wrong with men who are), but anyone who openly doesn't fall into this category, because he wants to wait or he's not interested is called a pussy or a faggot or not a "real" man.

That said, there certainly are people who insult men and call them "pigs" or what have you when they are particularly sexually active, but I've found that these tend to be the same people who slut-shame women, as well. This is just based on my own experience, though.

SRS_BondedInButthurt · 2012-01-20T14:37:29+00:00

I think fundamentally it's innate, that a man doesn't want a woman who's had 1,000 different dicks run through her. There is nothing wrong with saying you want a good woman who respects herself, because that is a woman worth investing in emotionally and financially. What you sure as hell don't do, is invest in any way in a woman who bangs her way through groups of friends and can't keep her legs closed. You don't build a family with someone like that, because women like that (human fuck dolls) do not change, it's a prescription for disaster.

Many modern liberal dudes think they are bound to accept and love that a girl they are interested in has cum still drying on her lips from the dude she just blew in the bathroom at the club. If you want to build a strong relationship with a woman, you don't pick the town bicycle. This isn't patriarchy or oppression, it's common fucking sense.

2012-01-20T08:18:18+00:00

I think the criticisms are different. For males it's "men only think about sex" or "men think with their penises"; it's not saying it's bad they have multiple partners, it's saying it's bad their entire life revolves around sex.

Feckless · 2012-01-20T08:23:38+00:00

Both sexes are slut shamed -> http://feck-blog.blogspot.com/2011/03/slutty-studs.html

NiceGuysSTFU · 2012-01-20T15:09:30+00:00

FYI* There is no such thing as a slut.

Messiah · 2012-01-20T17:33:14+00:00

I slut shame everyone. Jersey Shore is a prime example. I think the girls sleeping with those guys on national TV are gross, but I feel the same about the guys. Who knows where all those girls have been?

MaddieCakes · 2012-01-20T02:12:15+00:00

Huh. I always thought 'slut-shaming' was criticizing a woman's attire/attitude/whereabouts before, during, and after she was raped, shaming her by claiming she was 'asking for it'.

JeremiahMRA · 2012-01-20T03:45:23+00:00

Here are some nice articles on "slut shaming":

http://curmudgeonloner.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/slut-shaming/

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/

Here also are some links regarding single motherhood, which slut shaming is intended to limit:

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/01/04/comment-of-the-week-lebanese-woman-speaks-truth/

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2011/12/30/so-close-yet-so-far/

http://endoftheamericandream.com/archives/have-we-raised-an-entire-generation-of-young-men-that-do-not-know-how-to-be-men/comment-page-2#comment-30714

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/sexual-dystopia-a-glimpse-at-the-future/

And here are some articles regarding women's sexual repression, which is what slut shaming intends:

http://darktriumvirate.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/the-cancer-of-western-civilization/

http://darktriumvirate.wordpress.com/2011/10/13/pandoras-box/

And why it is necessary:

http://whiskeys-place.blogspot.com/2011/09/reconsidering-sexual-repression.html

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/10/28/another-conservative-traditionalist-gets-it-wrong-about-men-and-women/

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/12/21/patriarchy-works-ii/

Enjoy.

drinkthebleach · 2012-01-20T01:47:05+00:00

Slut shaming is not a mens rights issue.

Title	Ideas on Slut Shaming
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	29
Comments	119
Date	January 20, 2012 12:43 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/oo48i/ideas_on_slut_shaming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/ideas-on-slut-shaming.1029005 https://theredarchive.com/post/1029005

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