I posted this in the N count thread but I feel like it warrants a post here.

I have seen a lot of posts on whether body count should matter and stuff like that. I think the statistics on divorce and the pair bonding arguments have been made a million times, so I am going to offer a different perspective on why Body count certainly does matter. But I am going to do so from a male perspective.

There are multiple reasons why women with low notch counts are better. But this is the most important one. Sex is an opportunity for healthy secure attachment and novel intimacy. What do I mean by that? Let’s say your GF is a virgin or has a very low notch count. She is going to be self conscious and inexperienced (duh…). When you help her overcome her insecurities through something as intimate as sex, she will bond with you. She will always remember that experience because she was insecure and self conscious about her body and you made her feel secure and bonded with her through intimacy.

My wife was a virgin when I met her. She wanted to wait until marriage and a good woman is worth the wait so I agreed. We got married about 8 months ago and suffice it to say she is no longer a virgin :) When we had sex for the first time she was obviously shy and feeling self conscious. But I assured her that I thought she was beautiful and sexy and I made her feel comfortable and loved. It was ME who helped her overcome her self consciousness and insecurities. I also made her feel sexy and hot. We also learned about our likes and dislikes together. As a result, we bonded more that night. She always remembers that night fondly and it helped us connect more. She told me she felt closer to me and she felt more secure. She is confident now but she always tells me how much she liked the initial sessions because of how sweet and patient I was. Unlike certain politically correct idiots would like us to believe, sex is not just an exchange of bodily fluids and certainly not so for women. Sex is being very vulnerable. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with your body.

And that is why women with low body counts are better for relationships and marriage. They present many opportunities to bond and can easily form healthy attachments.

But consider the opposite. Let’s say there's a woman with like 15 bodycount. Well, lets say you’re having sex and you tell her how beautiful she is. Well she’s not going to think that as special. Why? Well because every guy before you has said the same fucking thing. She has heard it 15 times from various guys. After the 5th or 6th time, she will already know that. She already overcame that insecurity with other men. When she remembers about her insecurities, it will be how Guy 1 or 2 or 3 were sweet and helped her with her self consciousness about her body. There’s nothing there to bond with you and even if there is, it won’t be as strong as it was with the previous guys. So, of course she will have trouble bonding with you. It's the same thing with dating/marrying single moms. Impregnating your wife and connecting and helping her throughout her pregnancy gives you an opportunity to bond. She is going to depend on you for both physical and emotional support when she is vulnerable (carrying a child). And so of course single moms are a bad bet because they don't give you an opportunity to do that (and also of course you’re never going to be their primary focus).

Also women release oxytocin when they orgasm. Oxytocin bonds women with their partner. My sister is a relationship and sex counsellor and she says that a lot of women nowadays have trouble cumming because their body just can’t orgasm because they are still emotionally attached to their ex/ previous FWB / hookup/ guy who got away. No orgasms means no bonding. Women with higher body counts are more likely to have this problem and their partners are the one who will pay the price.

And this is why Body count matters. Call it whatever you like - Pair bonding, normal bonding, emotional connection, healthy attachment, secure attachment, intimacy - whatever you like. The point is this is a key factor in couples coming closer to each other and loving each other more. It’s a bad bet to try and be in a relationship with someone who has already done this with other guys. Now, it is not the only bad thing about a high body count. There is other stuff as well but I feel like that deserves its own post and I will make a post on it another time. (I’m already tired)

Now you might say well how am I supposed to find a virgin bride in this day and age? Well you’re right. It isn't highly practical advice. But my advice would be to go for someone with a low notch count (0-4). Don’t marry or be in a relationship with someone who has more than that.

But what about men? Well IMO, men are much better in distinguishing the physical from the emotional. That is not to say that men with very high body counts are preferable for every woman. But men with higher body counts are still able to bond. Maybe it's because men don’t bond through oxytocin but through vasopressin. Ultimately, men and women are different and men are much better at bonding with a new mate than women.

But here’s the Ultimate advice: Never let someone shame you into thinking that you’re insecure for preferring a low notch count woman. Never, ever, ever let that sway you. Trust me. You will definitely be better off. People will call you insecure, toxic masculinity or jealous or whatever. Let them say whatever they want. Don't pay any attention to them. Also, don’t let beauty fool you. Beauty fades, personality doesn’t. So whatever happens, don’t go against your instincts.