CMV: When both genders express concerns about comparable issues, men often face greater judgment than women

FlightOfThePigs · 2023-09-24T16:10:25+00:00

The thing I've noticed nowadays is that it's fine to insult and make fun of men if they are short, bald, have a small penis, etc. but fat women are praised and forced upon me by the media? People can openly make fun of men for things they can't change without any repercussion but if you call out a fat woman who has no self control, you're a bad person.

I'm personal all for anyone being as judgemental as they want with dating especially. The best thing to do is ignore women if they whine about your preferences. Better yet, just keep it to yourself and don't let anyone guilt trip you

lostacoshermanos · 2023-09-24T16:50:20+00:00

It’s all because men aren’t expected to be emotional and have needs. We are expected to be robots working 80 hours a week and somehow having enough time to be Mr Perfect boyfriend/husband/lover/father etc.

wheartv · 2023-09-24T17:44:08+00:00

Many women are not concerned at all with men they are not genetically related to

These non relative males are to be used for their purposes as almost a birth right

Imagine a male and female walking down the road, concern is expressed for the female and fear for the male (I wonder if she is okay and needs a ride?)

This might be understandable but it should at least be acknowledged and it is genetically ground into us

When researchers present scenarios and ask for judgment calls and then do the same but reverse the genders, it is shown that men have a bias towards women (if I recall men have a 2x bias towards women) and women have (iirc) a 5x bias towards women

This is also understandable through the lens of evolutionary psychology, which feminists reject because it sometimes says things that don’t praise women and crap on men

It is obvious how biased women are towards women to any thinking man

If I ask a woman for relationship advice, she will usually pretend she is the woman in question and then tell me to do what she would personally like (with near zero concern for me)

In contrast, women tell each other to look out for themselves

They are so in their own emotional matrix that they can’t see it, like how the objects in a train might be moving down the track but passengers view them as stationary from their perspective

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-09-24T16:49:03+00:00

You know who gets judged the absolute most by strangers?

People who spill their guts to strangers on the regular.

mrmudkip11 · 2023-09-24T14:25:36+00:00

I really don’t think this is true, both genders face a lot of negative consequences for showing weakness. However, men and women do tend to get different reactions, I.e. men get told to toughen up, women don’t get taken seriously.

Men detailing preferences in their partners concerning appearance, behavior, or past relationships can be rapidly dismissed as 'shallow' or 'misogynistic'. In contrast, women with analogous criteria might face less critique, often receiving support or validation for their feelings.

If anything, men really only get (rightfully) told off when they’re weird about a woman’s “body count” or perceived promiscuity, or just generally rude to women about their appearance if it doesn’t fit the man’s preference. I see plenty of women get rightfully shit on for doing the same towards men.

A man expressing his wish for his partner to prioritize their relationship or family over frequent outings with friends might be labeled as 'possessive' or 'restrictive'. Yet, a woman expressing a desire for more family time and fewer nights out on her partner's part might be seen as seeking closeness or stability.

I feel like I have seen more women get shit on for going out with their friends frequently or going out to bars, etc more so than men. Conversations about boundaries should be nobody else’s business aside from the couples anyways.

A man who desires more verbal affirmations and emotional support in a relationship might be viewed as 'needy' or 'clingy'. Yet, when a woman expresses the same need, she might be perceived as simply wanting a deeper emotional connection

Now this is silly, any decent person won’t shame you if you need reassurance (as long as it’s not constant)

EuphoricBrightTipper · 2023-09-24T15:48:49+00:00

I agree, but on some aspects men do get less judgement.

For example, men are judged less for being careless on sex, while women are judged more on that, yet to be fair that judgement often comes from other women.

On the flip side, men are judged more harshly if they don't deal with the consequences of sex. Meanwhile women can abort, give to adoption and have 50+ ways of birth control... men are just told to shut up and take the father responsibility they were forced into... and it is funny how pro-choice women use pro-life arguments on men.

Men are also less judged for being bossy or entitled to something, which is seen as them being assertive, while women are judged as Karens or annoying.

Still, I do agree men are judged more harshly, especially for consequences of their actions, but there are many exceptions.

illusoryfindings · 2023-09-24T15:22:53+00:00

I don't think this is gendered, critiques about each other's preferences come from all sides. People just get mad if it seems hypocritical, or if the preferences make them feel insecure. At the same time, it's kind of a pointless exercise to state preferences, especially to someone who didn't already meet them before you met.

Why would you tell a room full of sluts you only like modest, traditional women? Why tell a room full of short schlubby average dudes you want a tall, dark, handsome man? Ofc you're gonna be painted a shallow villain for simply stating preferences like that because people in the room who don't meet them are gonna get sensitive and defensive.

Have your preferences, everyone has them, be as hypocritical as you like about them. The only thing that should matter to you is your ability to attract your preference, and getting better at doing that. People are gonna get mad about whatever they are, so it doesn't matter. Live your life.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-09-24T16:06:31+00:00

Yes, men do tend to face greater judgment because their concerns are rooted in judgment.

Men detailing preferences in their partners concerning appearance, behavior, or past relationships

Rooted in judgment of others for not being exactly how they want or think women should be.

A man expressing his wish for his partner to prioritize their relationship or family over frequent outings with friends

More judgment on the friends or what the hang out is. Often heard when a woman wants to go out once in a blue moon.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-09-24T14:14:12+00:00

voice concerns on similar subjects, there appears to be a disparity in reactions

Which is the norm. Take the example of partner’s preferences. It only applies to the partnered. To talk about wanting a ‘submissive’ wife, or a high caliber man, only matters if you have the skill set, to attract a wife. Or a high caliber man. Conversely if one doesn’t possess the skill set to attract a partner? To what benefit is having preferences?

Or the example of emotional support. Only matters if one is emotionally fragile. Conversely if one is resilient, emotional support is rarely an issue.

Voicing concerns, and the subsequent reactions are secondary. To what actions one can, and are willing to take. To resolve issues. Which ultimately is the goal anyway.

Godspeed and good luck!

MidoriEgg · 2023-09-24T19:09:43+00:00

I honestly think it depends what circle you’re in. Sure, if I posted in a more feminist group about my preferences as a woman, people would be supportive, but if I made a post on here I’d probably be torn apart lol.

And again with the night out thing. If the couple has kids, guaranteed the woman gets more judgement for going for nights out. If a father spends all his time at the pub with his friends it’s annoying but expected, if a mother does it, she’s a negligent mother who doesn’t deserve her kids. Just look at media, it’s a really common trope for the men to be always at the bar with his friends he’s a lovable goof, but if it’s a woman it’s played for serious drama.

I think clingy is a label given to both genders equally, but I agree it’s seen as a more negative label when it’s given to men, and associated more with weakness and fragility etc.

ratboi34 · 2023-09-24T13:30:21+00:00

Why would you care about a woman's judgement? It's giving feminine energy.

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obviousredflag · 2023-09-25T11:08:57+00:00

If you are a man who is needy, controlling, possessive and insecure about past relationships, and in this way morally judge the normal behavior of most of society as bad, then you will face rejections and judgment yourself. Your personality is not attractive and your insecurities, neediness and jealousy make you a very undesirable partner.

The same applies to women who act this way. With both sexes, they will get support from the people who have the same traits, same insecurities and neediness. Because by defending them, them defend themselves and sooth themselves.

I am DAILY pointing out insecure traits in men on this sub who morally judge women for behavior that threatens their view of themselves. And they always get supported by other men with similar values or insecurities for being absolutely right and having the right requirements and preferences. The same happens when i point out the controlling and jealous behavior in women. Other women come to the rescue who are just as insecure, jealous, needy, controlling or what have you.

The last thing people will do is openly admitt that they are the issue and they are fucking up a relationship due to their own flaws, failures, weaknesses and insecurities and their low self-esteem and neuroticism.

People who can see these issues clearly because they are not in the same boat, will be able to call the others out, regardless of sex. People who are having the same issues will defend this behavior out of self interest.

Title	CMV: When both genders express concerns about comparable issues, men often face greater judgment than women
Author	donuz
Upvotes	44
Comments	59
Date	September 24, 2023 1:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16qxm85/cmv_when_both_genders_express_concerns_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-when-both-genders-express-concerns-about.1232858 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232858

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