Do options cause instability within relationships?

BackAgain12345678910 · 2023-03-15T08:12:59+00:00

Short answer: yes

januaryphilosopher · 2023-03-15T11:36:05+00:00

If you've only been dating a month your relationship is unstable in general. But usually, someone who's in a relationship knows that other people exist who they could get with and it hasn't changed that much, and has chosen a relationship with the person they're with. Investment in a relationship means you care about the other person enough that you won't just be able to swap them for someone superficially "better" whenever they pop up. I'd say what's more worrying is someone who has very few "options" who may be more likely to be blown over when one appears they didn't think existed. (Although not always, I must point out I'm in this category but investment would still win out.)

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-03-15T07:07:21+00:00

It's not an LTR if you've only been together a month. This whole scenario reads like a teenager dating their first gf and being worried that a hotter guy who has a car and has finished puberty exists in the same zip code as her.

luroot · 2023-03-15T12:24:04+00:00

Do you think that if a lot of conventionally handsome and even successful men started hitting on your girlfriend or partner 1 month into your relationship that would she start nitpicking and looking for reasons to breakup?

Started, lol? Unless she suddenly had a massive makeover, a hot woman has already been attracting hot guys since she was a child, knows it, and has already "raised" her standards long ago to begin with...

Popular_Accountant60 · 2023-03-15T14:10:27+00:00

My husband and I both have lots of options. We both still always choose each other

KirthWGersen · 2023-03-15T06:57:42+00:00

It goes both ways.

If the person you are in a romantic relationship with does not treat you as well as your other options, it is only natural to switch.

On the other hand, if the person you are in a romantic relationship with has many other options, you had better treat them well to keep them.

You can never truly relax in a romantic relationship. Although inertia, kindness and love do kick in as the relationship gets longer, you never truly "have" someone, even if you are bound by marriage. You have to constantly make the other person feel you are their best option by being their best option.

slazengerx · 2023-03-15T07:06:38+00:00

Only if one or both of the parties in the relationship is (1) very insecure and/or (2) preternaturally promiscuous.

KayRay1994 · 2023-03-15T13:30:32+00:00

holy mother of insecurity

NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-03-15T09:17:49+00:00

More and . more men are doing the just stay single option.

I've stopped dating and now see sugar babies. Every guy has some options, maybe it's go overseas. No one has no options, maybe just shitty ones.

But ya I agree, grass is greener on other side may increase instability

wtknight · 2023-03-15T11:16:52+00:00

Sure, it's natural for women to monkeybranch if they can. Why would someone not want to be with someone who attracts them more if they can be, especially if they are only dating rather than having an actual marital commitment?

At a certain point a woman can't really monkeybranch anymore, though. She's with the highest value man who will commit to her and men who are of higher value will only use her for sex, which women don't really want (unless her current relationship is sexually unsatisfying, perhaps). Then, a man can usually rest assured that a woman is not going to monkeybranch. Women, on the other hand, have to worry more, because a man might cheat with a woman who is completely less attractive than his current partner just because he can and the opportunity presents itself.

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-03-15T11:19:22+00:00

I mean it depends. A person having “better” options but choosing someone specific can be good and bad. It means that they were genuinely desired and not because they were whats left on the market

But at the same time it can be bad cause that can always be used on a person as leverage

BlueMountainDace · 2023-03-15T14:42:14+00:00

A month is not a LTR…

But, the only thing that causes instability is the relationship and one’s maturity. My wife and I are both attractive and, especially when we were younger and first dating, got hit on by the opposite sex regularly.

But we have a good relationship, are attracted to each other, and are not impulsive children.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-03-15T14:53:39+00:00

People don't leave happy relationships.

uselessloner123 · 2023-03-15T14:55:21+00:00

I think it depends on whether options have consistently remained high or whether there was a major shift in options 1 month into the relationship.

For example, take two bodybuilders who meet at a fitness trade show. They are well aware of that there are several options but decided to get together for a reason. If they decide to go to another fitness show in a month and taller, more jacked guys start hitting on the girl, I don’t think she’d fold because she’s already used to seeing guys like that but even with that knowledge she chose the current guy.

Now let’s take a second example. Two people start dating in the boondocks and decide to move to the city. The girl had very limited options in the town where she is from, but now in the city, millionaire Chads start hitting on her. There’s a higher chance she folds especially if she wants a better lifestyle than what Electrician Eric can offer her.

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-03-15T15:08:21+00:00

What people forget especially men is that feminisme are changing HVM and making them more empathic for women so with time i think a woman will monkeybranch to the best men and still treated goodly

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-03-15T06:54:25+00:00

I'd argue no.

Women get hit on far more often than men yet they cheat less than men (though it's not a huge percentage difference currently 7% and narrowing.)

Just walking two blocks you can get hit on if you're a woman, less likely if you're a man.

If you're at work and a woman there is a higher chance a coworker will make a pass at you than a woman at a man (though both can happen and do happen sometimes).

In general women have more opportunities to cheat but the stats show they cheat slightly less than men (though cheating is dropping among all genders every decade).

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-03-15T08:01:53+00:00

Since men cheat more it’s more likely for a guy to sabotage the relationship so it breaks down and he doesn’t have to be the bad guy that dumps his ltr for a better option

But nobody’s doing this at 1 month in, that’s not a ltr

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Ok-Map-7596 · 2023-03-15T07:40:18+00:00

Yes. Attractive couples more likely to break up

Confident-Tangelo440 · 2023-03-15T13:49:27+00:00

Easy yes. You shouldn’t have options in a relationship. It’s disrespectful to your partner

Title	Do options cause instability within relationships?
Author	big_lenad
Upvotes	11
Comments	80
Date	March 15, 2023 6:48 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11rok8l/do_options_cause_instability_within_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-options-cause-instability-within-relationships.1176947 https://theredarchive.com/post/1176947

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