How is a relationship different when your partner is your best friend?

Orange_Paisley · 2021-11-09T23:16:30+00:00

Why would you not want a partner who is your best friend? We live together, we spend most of our free time together. We do on vacations and weekends away and day trips. If I have gossip to spill he is the first one to hear it. We’re not just roommates who sleep together occasionally.

relish5k · 2021-11-09T23:46:01+00:00

When your partner is your best friend, then marriage is a sleep over party that never ends. Plus orgasms.

Yes there's the work of sharing a home together - chores, finances, child rearing, doctors appointments. But there's also a lot of laughter and fun and interesting conversations. You collect hot takes, funny stories or memes, and anecdotes throughout the day and have someone to share them with you is appreciative and hits you right back.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-11-09T22:57:17+00:00

My wife is my best friend. I don't know how its different because I can't imagine having a marriage where you weren't best friends.

Fleischpeitsch · 2021-11-09T22:39:13+00:00

It's better.

I really don't understand the relationships of people that don't even like to hang out with each other.

Chaos_and_Horny · 2021-11-09T23:06:24+00:00

Who on earth partner up with someone your not besties already? wuuuut Unless your bestie is not your prefered sex, but then your partner should at least be your second best friend, or else it doesnt make sense! no wonder people are failing relationships

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-11-09T23:06:06+00:00

No stupid showing your partner off to people like they're a prize you won and no stupid "must look hot/do attractive things at all times" standards.

Novadina · 2021-11-09T22:40:23+00:00

It just means we do best friend things together too, not just romance things. Like we have many of the same interests, shared hobbies, we like talking to each other, we like hanging out together (not just for sex), and we have the same friend circle. (So anytime we hang out with our friends we do it together, because my friends are his and his are mine.)

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-09T23:03:19+00:00

Can't say I've ever had my SO be my BEST friend, but having them be a good friend makes it better, love is one thing, liking helps more

LittyKitsune · 2021-11-09T23:25:21+00:00

Greater trust and honesty, I think. My parents are like best friends who are also in love, they never travel or go out without the other. They're very blunt with each other and they don't have to sugar coat things.

They also have similar tastes in entertainment so it's easy for them to agree on dates and trips they'll both actually enjoy instead of having to compromise all the time.

chalkandapples · 2021-11-10T00:20:51+00:00

I think it's possible to have a relationship where your partner is not your best friend. But it's just so much easier when they are. You like similar things, you have fun being around each other, are excited for the same things. You need less communication skills when your partner is your best friend because you agree on most of the same stuff anyways.

nodegreenoknowledge · 2021-11-10T00:58:48+00:00

It’s different because I have people I love, even girls that are friends, that I couldn’t be around 24/7. I would just, jump out of a window onto a pile of pillows. But when I dated and she was my best friend there was something we would breakout in laughter for no reason, just being around each other, we were truly friends that just loved to hang out all the time.

That’s a best friend, a person whose company you always would have around. She was a best friend.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-11-09T22:41:56+00:00

We enjoy spending time with each other and our relationship isn't based on some kind of sexual transaction. We're able to be honest with each other and be ourselves together. I think that people need to be close friends at least in order to actually love each other.

TotalTravesty · 2021-11-09T22:53:19+00:00

Having your partner be your best friend (or even just a good friend) does come in handy when you’ve taken pizza night too far. You both feel too gross to have sex but you still have someone cool to hang out with the rest of the night!

Full disclosure: I think the concept of “best friend” is a little childish past a certain age. Who has time to rank their friends?

IOportA · 2021-11-10T04:00:03+00:00

It makes the break up much worse, that's for sure.

poppy_blu · 2021-11-09T23:28:28+00:00

He’s my best friend and my favorite person. I can’t explain how it’s “different” but it does makes all the struggles of life easier when you have a life partner who is also your BFF.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-11-09T23:56:27+00:00

I can't imagine my partner not being my best friend.

kyjolski · 2021-11-10T04:12:16+00:00

It sounds like a foreign concept, I always treated my SOs like best friends and family.

Sorcha16 · 2021-11-09T23:14:57+00:00

My partner is definitely one of my favourite people. It makes even the boring bearable and the tough parts worth fighting through.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-11-10T00:14:29+00:00

So, let's unpack this...

Most of the time when a woman says this about her relationship, IME, it's a bad thing or a relationship I definitely am glad to have avoided.

It means something like "he's on my level," or "I can do whatever I want," or "he's kinda like a girl" or [insert mild disrespect here].

But ultimately, it's just someone who really doesn't get them going sexually that much but they do enjoy palling around with. It's almost like being in the friendzone + sex. Hard to describe the vibe.

However

When it is said and meant in the correct way, it's a great thing. It's a rare thing, too. I've only had one relationship where I felt this way. And I've only witnessed one other relationship where it seemed genuine.

It's a great thing and rare because it's like....max sexual desire, max romantic connection, max companionship.

2021-11-09T23:48:31+00:00

i don't want to fuck my friends. i have my social life and he has his, i don't consider him a "friend" at all.

XtoDoubt · 2021-11-10T01:25:12+00:00

A lot less sex. Wife is more likely to get bored and leave.

CFinCanada · 2021-11-10T12:27:11+00:00

It's just better.

Like, I genuinely enjoy everything more when my man is involved.

A thing can be fun, but I know he would make things even more fun.

decoy88 · 2021-11-10T13:38:23+00:00

You enjoy their company the most and have similar interests you enjoy together

acornfroggie · 2021-11-10T04:17:32+00:00

It's worse. Best friend is a downgrade.

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Miserable_Yam4778 · 2021-11-10T05:40:51+00:00

My man and I are 100% best friends, and it makes everything way better. It improves our communication, and it makes us more of a team.

We treat each other with a level of respect that in my experience is lacking from relationships where the couple wouldn't hang out together if not for sex.

roaming_bartender · 2021-11-10T17:58:57+00:00

how is it different?

Sounds like codependency and a dead bedroom waiting to happen.

cmchunk · 2021-11-10T22:52:24+00:00

My best relationship has been with someone who was becoming my best friend. We just love each other so much, it works great.

5x_the_Charm · 2021-11-11T04:32:13+00:00

You want to spend most of your free time together. You likely share similar interests or at least are willing to do interests with the other person that isn't too far out of your comfort zone. Lot more trust. Most importantly the conversations you can have with them and how you talk on the same wavelength. That feeling that numbers and status and looks tiers and N-counts mean nothing because you've found that person who makes you so happy you can ignore the noise.

Honestly, it's a thing that TRP/FDS to me will never understand unless they manage to find one for themselves.

JamesSimons · 2021-11-11T19:35:36+00:00

I'm seeing this girl, who happens to be in the same friends group as my guy friends. She once asked me about why all the guys ask her what it's like being with me when they could just ask me directly. Ignored that bit because I know they don't want to feel inferior in front of me and also because they all want to fuck her. She said they're all just "good friends", she wouldn't consider having a sexual relationship with any of them. I asked her if I was a good friend, to which she said no, if I become a good friend, than it's over.

Girls want to socialize with certain men and fuck certain men.

Assasinized · 2021-11-12T04:22:54+00:00

You'd be more connected to them on a deeper level, of course it's possible to date someone who you barely know but I can't imagine dating someone I haven't known for a long time.

CimZim · 2021-11-10T10:19:59+00:00

You share everything with each other, all your emotional strengths and weaknesses.

You share many of the same interests and hobbies, so never run out of things to talk about or get excited for.

You care about each other on a different level, wanting them to be happy in a way that sounds like most relationships are missing nowadays.

Similarly it sounds like the sex is much better when you have it with your best friend.

You actually enjoy hanging out together, it's something to look forward to instead of dreading or being bored.

Gravel_Roads · 2021-11-10T11:44:58+00:00

Known my partner for over 20 years. It’s incomparable. Not that there aren’t unique fun things about new people and casual affairs, but when they’re your BFF too, you don’t just fuck for mutual pleasure, you also just like knowing about one another’s bodies and minds and what they do with them. You enjoy grooming one another and snuggling and don’t just know which side of a new bed they’ll want to sleep on, but can make it up for them how they like it. Just because it’ll make em happy

Superfluous_Toast · 2021-11-10T17:21:12+00:00

Well, for one thing you actually like them as a person and not just because they look good without clothes on. You're more likely to work through the hardships of life with someone whose company you enjoy.

Title	How is a relationship different when your partner is your best friend?
Author	WheelIntelligent1354
Upvotes	8
Comments	75
Date	November 9, 2021 8:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qqd33o/how_is_a_relationship_different_when_your_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-is-a-relationship-different-when-your-partner.1084991 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084991

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