Men with real problems need to stop looking to grifters and women to solve them

IgorXY · 2025-06-24T11:49:23+00:00

It's fascinating how people can fool themselves into believing that a handful of media personas are the root cause of issues in socium. But they are just manifistations of what people have already thought. If someone is watching a video "Women bad", they most likely already thought so, and just want to see that they are not the only one. It is absolutely natural.

One side will validate your feelings and give you an enemy, the other will tell you to shut up, deal with it yourself and that you actually deserve all bad things that you feel. Hmmm, which side is more attractive? And you want us to actually call out the only group that at least pretends to listen to us?

I understand that existense of losers is extremely annoying to successful people and they wish they could make us quite or dissapear, but sorry not sorry. Hate is all we have. War is everywhere now.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2025-06-24T14:35:28+00:00

For the sake of who? The women?

YetAnotherCommenter · 2025-06-25T09:41:22+00:00

Do you actually want things to improve for men or do you just want them to stop saying mean things about women on the internet?

Look, I'm on record having several disagreements with certain Red Pill ideas as well as aspects of Red Pill rhetoric. But here's the thing - you talk about therapy, but much of Red Pill's rhetoric serves a therapeutic purpose for the guys who spout it.

After being brainwashed into a cult of pedastalizing women, they need to deprogram themselves, and part of this requires not merely a recitation "women are human" as a slogan (the slogan is literally true but it is used basically as a thought-stopper). They need to very strongly contemplate the feminine negative. The flaws women, as women, in our particular society (with its post-feminist pseudo-traditionalist gynocentrism) often exhibit/are enabled to have.

What "therapy" do you suggest they get? A feminist who swallows the APA line and thinks Adolescence is a documentary systematically gaslighting them and saying that Its All Their Fault? Because that is alarmingly common among therapists, particularly in the USA.

I don't like to respond with as much hostility as I'm responding with now, but frankly, your post sounds like nothing more than attempt to save chivalry/benevolent sexism/the women are wonderful effect/female privilege. Your post sounds like an attempt to silence men's (not entirely unjustified) anger, masquerading as compassion.

Sure, there are valid complaints to be made about some TRP rhetoric and about several manosphere influencers. But it is pretty apparent your primary concern is "protect the females!" Helping men is, at best, a means to that end for you.

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-06-24T11:56:56+00:00

The solution to men's problems lies within men themselves. It's about making peace with yourself, being the best version of yourself, and finding validation within yourself, not from others. And yes, it's about therapy.

This generation's let them eat cake

We need men who are focussed on making peace not war. Because hatred is the antithesis of happiness. And the only way out for men who are struggling is to find peace within themselves.

Hatred is extremely satisfying when you win the struggle

embarassingstuffs · 2025-06-24T12:04:49+00:00

When society offers you no perspective or solution to your problems, you start turn to shady people and grifters. The existance of grifters is just the natural consequence of societal decay. Modern society has nothing to offer young men but to be a slave who works 9-5 living paycheck to paycheck. At least Andrew Tate sells the illusion that you can hustle your way into being rich if you are just ruthless enough, which is just capitalism taken to the logical extreme.

wtknight · 2025-06-24T12:06:29+00:00

Men use “grifters” because actual therapy is usually considered female-centric and is usually even more expensive than subscribing to some male grifter online. This probably needs to change.

Logos1789 · 2025-06-24T19:00:08+00:00

You’re presupposing that your solution is practical for most men, instead of understanding that people can agree on a set of facts and still come to different conclusions based on their values and beliefs.

In this case, you seem to assume that all men want the best they can get, as opposed to them having valid standards that they refuse to waiver on. It’s their authentic desire to have sex and relationships with women they’re genuinely attracted to. This isn’t some artificial, malleable desire; it’s innate.

Most men understand that they can fundamentally change their lifestyle to improve their level of success with women. This isn’t lost on them. They disagree with you that it’s worth it.

Most men who really struggle with dating, have struggled socially with women their entire lives. Something about them was different than their most desirable peers, and through years of socialization, the negative effects of those differences formed a compounding disadvantage.

If they are their authentic selves, they will not attract the women they’re genuinely attracted to. This has already been born out for most boys and men who commiserate online about their struggles.

So they have choices to make:

_

They can be themselves and continue to struggle.
They can be themselves and lower their standards (this is something that ncls are criticized for suggesting women do, but let’s ignore that for now).
They can fundamentally change their lifestyle and most consequential things about themselves, for an abnormally low return on investment - getting some attention from women who are more desirable than they previously garnered attention from, but who are likely still below their standards.
They can try to convince themselves that they don’t want what almost every healthy human being ever wants, and substitute in non-sexual and non-romantic things to patch that void.

_

I’ll reiterate: it’s not normal for young people (under 40 at the very least) to be 100% content without access to a sexual and/or romantic partner who they’re genuinely attracted to.

Asserting otherwise is a lie that is among the final straws available to women and BP men to curtail an inevitable societal reckoning with how most men aren’t desirable to most desirable women, due in significant part to the fact that those men’s male ancestors reproduced under oppressive conditions for women.

The lesson of the Barbie movie is a lie. Society only ever made it this far because healthy men are innately driven by the prospect of sex and relationships with women. That’s not pathetic, that’s not porn-brained, that’s how animals work, and yes, we are animals.

FireFoxG · 2025-06-24T12:49:11+00:00

hatred is the antithesis of happiness.

The opposite of happiness is apathy... not anger. Anger means they still care enough to get emotional over something. The angry dudes still care and the anger phase is just the stepping stone to the pure apathy towards the world that most single men now have. This is why its mostly a subset of the youth who are pissed.

Most single men are just done with it all, A state of pure apathy. Most women didn't care until the apathy of men started to affect the economic and political landscape they benefit so much from. It's hilarious that the proposed solution is 'men need to do better and fix this'. You ladies wanted the bear, so men became the bear... hibernating from society.

After Society spent the last 30+ years shitting on and emasculating men... What you're asking for is akin to asking Theon Greyjoy to make peace... after what Ramsey Bolton did to him.

EDIT, another issue... the influencers who you think are telling men to hate women... are mostly not.

Jordon Peterson, Tates, Rollo Tomassi, etc... are telling men to clean their rooms, work out and hustle hard enough that wealth makes up for height AND attractiveness. When they talk about 'female dating strategy', it can come across as hate... but its mostly just the way Andrew Tate jokes about it... being applied to the entire MRA space. I cant personally think of a single MRA influencer who is explicitly telling men to hate women, not even Tate.

aslfingerspell · 2025-06-24T11:59:56+00:00

and finding validation within yourself, not from others. And yes, it's about therapy.

What do we do about the male sex drive, though? Internal validation is important but humans are social creatures with external validation needs as well. Feeling awesome about yourself is not a replacement for intimacy with another person.

We know this because voluntary celibacy is seen as an insulting solution to the problems of people who have sex when this should theoretically be an easy life choice. Married people, who above all should know there's more to someone than their body, can divorce over sexual issues.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-06-25T06:22:53+00:00

You seriously can't think of anything else?

We could fund therapy outreach centres specifically for young men if we'd want to, maybe address this whole male suicide and lonliness epidemic if we wanted, but

that sort of initiative would be hugely expensive and other things would have to give. Even if we would defund some nice-to-have things that aren't critical, like bicycle lanes, the female voters would REEEEE! at any such initiative.

Not before post-natal care is improved upon, and a thousand of other things which takes precedence.

And that's why so many women always prescribe "fix yourself, free of charge, but don't try to do it in A-Z number of ways I don't approve of". (Welfare state is for us, and not for you)

Safe_Arrival9487 · 2025-06-24T13:10:58+00:00

Nah cope. I want pork meat.

Capitalism is cornering the market in every regard.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-06-25T08:10:40+00:00

Men need fo start focusing more on themselves and learn to throw away the society rulebook. Independance!

onlyaseeker · 2025-06-25T09:47:36+00:00

The solution to men's problems lies within men themselves. It's about making peace with yourself, being the best version of yourself, and finding validation within yourself, not from others.

This is just standard blue pill nonsense.

It's like trying to tell people who can see the matrix, "just work on yourself."

And yes, it's about therapy.

Another grifter, just one with a social permission slip, is probably less qualified on these topics, and probably charges more.

Again, this is "work on yourself."

We need to move away from this era of hate-fuelled grifting to one where men can be happy in themselves

And after that, what then?

Many men are happy with themselves. It doesn't find them a partner or children. This is like some sort of ascetic mentality.

Do you also tell people this when it comes to money? Shelter? "Be happy and at peace with yourself?"

If men's problems are caused by society, we need to work to change it, and they need help navigating it from people who understand these issues.

What you're really talking about is a left wing alternative to the current right wing ones. Unfortunately, none exists. Correct me if I'm wrong, with something other than vague platitudes.

alreadydark · 2025-06-24T11:46:59+00:00

Well of course. But men with real problems are the vulnerable people who grifters take advantage of. That's the whole business model.

Though responsibility rests on the individual more than anyone else, I don't agree that women have absolutely no role to play in this.

Due to social media we have a tendency to be extremist. Men seem incapable of sympathizing with women and vice versa. As one group becomes more extreme and unsympathetic, the other becomes more unsympathetic and extreme in return.

We respond to aggression by putting our guards up. It's just our nature.

By being more empathetic towards someone, we increase their likeliness of being empathetic in return

TLDR: I agree with your post. Except women DO have a role to play in this as well

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Livid-Log7463 · 2025-06-24T17:53:42+00:00

Unfortunately these things overwhelmingly stem from women, so unless you’re talking about men helping other men to stop women from excluding them it isn’t a problem solvable within men as a group.

Turbulent-Company373 · 2025-06-25T11:44:10+00:00

Very well said. One of the best that I have read on this. Why should anyone hate women when one is trying to attract/to interest them? Whether we realize it or not porn is also an old part of this grift.

voxpopuliberty · 2025-06-26T22:24:23+00:00

We need war

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-06-24T11:32:02+00:00

If hating women is offered as part of that package, that is a grift. If hating anyone is proposed as a solution, that is a grift. If you're being given an enemy to rail against, you are being played.

What evidence you have of those things being true?

Title	Men with real problems need to stop looking to grifters and women to solve them
Author	idoze
Upvotes	9
Comments	77
Date	June 24, 2025 6:27 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lj3uls/men_with_real_problems_need_to_stop_looking_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-with-real-problems-need-to-stop-looking-to.1555432 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555432

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