Most problems in this subreddit are caused by people not knowing how men/women really are

wtknight · 2023-08-02T12:06:10+00:00

I think that the men and women do understand how each other are. I think that men just get frustrated by the “unfairness” regarding how attraction from women works, while women are annoyed by the male feeling of entitlement towards women’s affection and bodies. Both sides are just trying to exhibit power and there is, as a result, a power struggle.

So I do think that men and women actually understand each other on an instinctual level. It’s just both sides trying to use mental force - men coercing women to change their attraction preferences, and women trying to force unattractive men to either work on themselves or to leave them alone.

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2023-08-02T12:53:06+00:00

That being said, people would have significantly fewer problems if they'd at least try to understand how things really are instead of just assuming and most importantly, there'd be a lot less bullshit on this subreddit.

What I've noticed about this subreddit is that (like the internet in general) it has a culturally diverse array of posters - people posting from all over the world, from different cultures, customs, and ways of living.

I think about that whenever I see someone make a remark suggesting that people spend too much time on the internet and should go outside once in a while and "touch grass." But when people go outside and touch grass, they see what's local and regional, which may not be the same as what other people in other localities might see. Someone who lives in a Manhattan high rise might see the world completely different from someone who lives in a trailer park in Podunk.

That's why there might be a disconnect in how people communicate and see things. They come from different realities and can't really relate to anyone outside of their own reality.

Silly-Sun-7098 · 2023-08-02T09:40:24+00:00

One word, autism

obviousredflag · 2023-08-02T12:32:15+00:00

But when you accept that not all women are the same, you need to be able to detect what the woman is/wants that you are currently matching/dating/talking to. Do you think anyone who is able to on the fly identify what the other side wants/is attracted to or if their personality matches their own is hanging around here, looking for a guide to women?

Following a guide that is build from the average/most common preferences and behaviors will work for the largest amount of women. That is better than being absolutely clueless.

The problem i see is thinking that if one is not able to meet that what most women want, one has no chance, or that if women would accept oneself, that would mean that are not really attracted and just want a "provider" they can exploit while having a sexless, desireless marriage.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-08-02T16:35:40+00:00

You are correct sir or madam, but there is somewhat of a contradiction in saying everyone isn't the same yet the genders are completely different. It may not sound like a conflict but you are saying, in effect, that all women are the same, in that they are different from men (in whatever ways you are focusing on) and all men are the same in whatever way you claim they differ from women. So you are simultaneously claiming everyone is different yet the same. That's pretty much the crux of what this sub attempts to do: go into the weeds and sort their ducks using various typologies and taxonomies.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-08-02T18:17:15+00:00

Sometimes I think people have a hard time understanding that men and women are different, but also the same species. Or that while there are noticeable commonalities between people of one sex, there are also individual differences. They either over-generalize or deny any general trends exist, which in both cases is easy to do.

macone235 · 2023-08-02T09:53:01+00:00

No, I would say most problems in this sub are caused by women who don't know how men operate, and won't admit to how they operate. Men in this sub on the other hand tend to be quite familiar with the nature of both sexes and process information as-it-is in a logical manner.

Women/men are not all the same, there are individual differences psychologically ("Every woman is..." "All men want is..." =Wrong).

Everyone is not the same, but everyone is similar which means most people function in patterns that can be recognized.

I think it's important to understand that is what is being talked about when it is brought up, because that is what is important. Not the exceptions.

I think the root for especially wrong assumptions comes from the red/blue-pill ideology that somehow manages to ignore the simplest dynamics in relationships, sexuality and dating.

No, red-pill ideology is pretty spot-on. Blue-pill isn't, but then again the purpose of a blue-pill isn't to be the truth - it's to be happy, and for most people that's what they need to survive.

RonMexico432 · 2023-08-02T13:47:14+00:00

I typically think a big problem is guys try to paint women and men with the same brush. Men and women are different. They have different wants and standards. Their emotions are different. They react differently to things. And rather than trying to understand them, guys just complain that they don't act and think like they do. Women aren't crazy. Guys are just idiots and don't know how to react to it like an adult. They just get mad rather than trying to understand.

Happy_Nuclear_End · 2023-08-02T11:06:40+00:00

Women and men work in a basic level the same across cultures, with access to social media woman even more.

Individuality is a myth.

Confident-Tangelo440 · 2023-08-02T16:19:49+00:00

Read Bell Hooks, she gives a really well educated analysis as to why we as men and women act the way we are because of society.

KirthWGersen · 2023-08-02T10:08:18+00:00

All too many people on here think that one exception proves a generalisation wrong. But if you want to navigate life, you have to start with generalisations and rules of thumb and then focus on the individual in front of you.

If you need a vehicle, you don't consider every motorbike, car, van and truck. You decide what kind of vehicle you are looking for, then pay close attention to the differences between those that meet those criteria. An inability to generalise, and an inability to focus on individuals, both hinder understanding.

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ShtarTrekShmenterpr · 2023-08-04T00:27:17+00:00

The best way to get to know someone is to have sex with them, so I'm defintely still learning.

GodspeedHarmonica · 2023-08-04T08:58:02+00:00

It's not the red/blue pill ideas that are wrong. It's the autistic and socially handicapped people trying to use these ideas in their life where they lack experience and basic social interaction.

One-Store2972 · 2023-08-23T22:31:57+00:00

Ur absolutely right about 1), however it’s still a trend that people tend to overlook…

For example being tall is more attractive than being short. I’m not claiming that all women like tall dudes, or that no women likes short dudes, but I’m in a vacuum where there was only height difference, tall dudes are viewed as more attractive, and this fact is instantly overlooked by saying “women aren’t monoliths”

Like you said in 3) exception doesn’t make the rule, and often rules are seen as absolutes by people.

No, but trends in data are trends in data…

Title	Most problems in this subreddit are caused by people not knowing how men/women really are
Author	Think_Brilliant3517
Upvotes	26
Comments	48
Date	August 2, 2023 9:20 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15g411x/most_problems_in_this_subreddit_are_caused_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-problems-in-this-subreddit-are-caused-by.1227079 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227079

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