OLD forces men to maintain parallel interactions.

northernlights190 · 2023-01-07T05:17:10+00:00

That seems pretty standard to me? Like not everyone likes it, but overall those very early dates aren’t necessarily anything, so no reason not to explore several new connections until you get to a point you think one could be goinf somewhere.

renfsu · 2023-01-07T04:48:50+00:00

Old is just hard mode as a man. Trust me, you don't know life until you lived in a city where 60% of people your age are female. Then you move to a place where 70% are male. Online is about 80% male and probably higher than that. Every girl you matched with that you're talking to is talking to at least 10 other men. You have to go out of your way to get her attention while she sits and scoffs at everyone who refuses to kiss her feet.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-01-07T21:29:06+00:00

LMAO

I'm not here to change your view, I'm here to point and laugh at how trivial it is.

You think Suzy 1000 matches a week gives two shits that Joe 2 matches a month is having *gasp* PARALLEL INTERACTIONS?

lmaolmao

rootsnyder · 2023-01-07T07:44:46+00:00

Lol you do realize that ALL women do this, and only some men do this. Women will shame you all they want for doing that, and turn around and do the same thing seven fold.

Familiar_Egg8802 · 2023-01-07T04:53:45+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with dating around a bit when you’re single and I don’t think it’s necessarily bad behavior as long as you’re upfront with everyone involved. What’s concerning is your end goal is just sex with someone. What happens with the girl after you sleep with her?

TodoBienTodoBonito · 2023-01-07T10:03:08+00:00

This isn't new to OLD... dating has been a concept for centuries

Ohmaygahh · 2023-01-07T16:09:09+00:00

I disagree. You have to be very precise with your language and word usage.

OLD doesn't force men into anything. It could encourage or incentivize , or discourage and disincentivize certain behaviors, but it doesn't force anything.

It's obviously bad behavior but

I'll stop you right there. Who says it's bad behavior? I don't believe that. What moral, behavior schema has instilled in you that dating people in parallel is "bad"?

Would it surprise you to know that nearly all women interested in men do this? Are women "bad" because of this?

I;m beginning to think that a lot of the dating ills would resolve if most men whole heartedly adopted and internalized the dating behaviours of attractive women.

It would definitely changed the landscape in a heartbeat if most men did what desirable women do.

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-01-07T09:20:00+00:00

OLD isn't for sex its for relationships...If you just want sex there's better ways to go about it with much better results I get get sex in 15 min any time from decent looking women I would never waste time on old except to make memes out of the ridiculous profiles.

No_Reflection_798 · 2023-01-07T11:17:25+00:00

Well, I'm in the unmentioned third option. I have a handful of matches and messages across a few different apps waiting for me. But, those matches and messages have been there for several weeks now. I am really reticent to pay to have them unlocked.

Even though they are just sitting there waiting for me to take action (maybe not actually waiting anymore), I'm not nervous or anxious about contacting them. I just kinda couldn't be bothered. Got other stuff going on.

I still go on the apps, but anymore, it's like flipping through an art museum book. I keep having to remind myself that those contacts are there, and that I should do something about them. I don't think my heart is in it right now.

2023-01-07T22:11:32+00:00

At any moment im literally juggling like 50 conversations on dating apps lol. Its all a numbers game.

Matches mean nothing, matching is just the beginning, and every phase cuts down potential dates. So you have to juggle them like that. And you end up with the most interested best choice.

If you shut everyone else down the second you get a match, ur wasting ur time and never gonna actually get a partner

houstongradengineer · 2023-01-07T05:10:43+00:00

I don't feel I can cut any off until I have sex with one of them.

Lol what the fuck.

King-SAMO · 2023-01-07T15:20:57+00:00

Spitting’ straight facts here; I’ve had to keep a side chick that I didn’t even like very much in play bc the girl i wanted to lock down didn’t want to be exclusive. It ended poorly for everyone involved.

wait, that was at the turn of the century before online dating. I met both of those women irl.

maybe it’s not the old

Safinated · 2023-01-07T06:45:25+00:00

“The desire for unpaid sex causes some men to voluntarily engage in certain behaviors“

Fixed that for ya

Sounds like paying for it would be less stress, ya?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-01-07T14:33:29+00:00

So OLD makes dudes, Date? Like bruh, all you described is dating around till being exclusive

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Moscow_Gordon · 2023-01-07T04:58:55+00:00

They could be doing the same, so it's a smart move. Most people seem to think you are not really dating until you have had a discussion to confirm it.

chalkandapples · 2023-01-07T11:21:43+00:00

Before exclusivity talk it's ok to be seeing multiple people when online dating. You're essentially meeting strangers online. A match is a very small investment and commitment to the other person, it's a minor signal of only potential interest.

Personally it's hard for me to talk to multiple people at once, 2 is like the max I can do and that stretches me thin. So I like to focus on one person at a time, to make it easy for myself, not for any moral reasons. It's also much easier for me to be myself, evaluate him, and enjoy dating if I don't have to juggle multiple people.

uglysaladisugly · 2023-01-07T13:00:45+00:00

Nothing "forces" you to anything. Own your choices...

Being aware on the conditions in which you made them doesn't mean those conditions "forced" you to anything.

revente · 2023-01-07T14:55:26+00:00

It's obviously bad behavior

No. There’s absolutely no moral value attached to it as long as you’re not promising exclusivity to anyone.

EnforcementX · 2023-01-07T15:34:09+00:00

What now? You do realize that maintaining multiple casual relationships until officially deciding to consolidate on one is normal dating, right?

Women do this ALLLLL the time. Seriously, the 2-3 women you’re talking to right now 100% are talking to 5-6 other men, too.

This might seem abnormal to you because it’s OLD.. but even before dating apps, most women dealt with multiple suitors, even if you didn’t.

virgilhall · 2023-01-07T16:02:54+00:00

With one match a month, there is no need for parallel conversations

wtknight · 2023-01-07T16:59:02+00:00

I'm not going to disagree except for my belief that men shouldn't be doing anything sexual with any of these women until he chooses one. I don't think that a typical man would like it if the woman whom he was trying to foster a relationship with was also having sex with another man on the side while he was trying to do this.

2023-01-07T17:00:17+00:00

I disagree partially. Having so many Interactions going at the same time is exhausting.

I agree with the logic but i'd rather not participate in that game

EugeneCezanne · 2023-01-07T20:26:12+00:00

It's obviously bad behavior

It's not bad, and certainly not "obviously" bad. Unless you're in a committed monogamous relationship, it's perfectly ethical to talk to more than one person.

meddit-throwaway · 2023-01-07T21:46:16+00:00

Yes, parallel interactions are a must if you're a single man. Play the numbers game and have a far higher chance of success. On dating apps it's implied anyway, the apps are designed so that you keep swiping and talking to multiple people at the same time. Who gets one match on Tinder and just stops swiping altogether?

Title	OLD forces men to maintain parallel interactions.
Author	Familiar_Egg8802
Upvotes	40
Comments	54
Date	January 7, 2023 4:45 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/105g1ja/old_forces_men_to_maintain_parallel_interactions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/old-forces-men-to-maintain-parallel-interactions.1146682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146682

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