On nice guys...

EggonTurdaryen · 2019-11-21T17:24:17+00:00

"You need to be fun and friendly to get girls"

Alright, I am. What now?

"You can't expect women to suddenly love you just because you're fun and friendly"

Stop moving the damn goal post. Just say I needed to look hot, that was the requirement all along.

LowCreddit · 2019-11-21T19:53:38+00:00

You are looking at this from the wrong direction. Women do not care about being imposed upon. They care about who does the imposing. I will take your salesman example. Unless I happen to want his product, he is an annoyance. It has nothing to do with his actions and everything to do with what he is selling.

Women don't want incels to impose on them. They don't even want to be seen in the same room as incels. They flick their light switches like it's a rave party thinking about Chad imposing on them.

NockerJoe · 2019-11-21T17:22:58+00:00

I think the difference is some people impose more, some people impose less, and a lot of men who don't want to impose envy Chad because he doesn't have to be as imposing, in theory.

I was at work yesterday and really wanted to finish the fuck up so I could go home, and my boss was a useless POS who was nowhere to be found. So I just started assigning people jobs that needed to be done and nobody objected. One chick giggled and was all "You're bossy and I like it". Of course when some other dude had an idea after that was done and started dividing people up his way I didn't object either.

I don't think people really care about being imposed upon and in a lot of cases want it. Being imposed upon means you don't have to devote your own mental energy into something so unless it's super horrible people will often go with it.

lonelinessmademecave · 2019-11-21T22:31:46+00:00

If you like a girl you will, at some point, have to take a risk and go for it. I've seen situations - and indeed have been in such situations - where both the girl and the guy like each other and nothing comes of it. It's a risk, because you're actually risking something. You're risking getting rejected and ruining the terms of your current relationship.

Yeah, the burden falls on us guys. It would be fine if women weren't so fucking awful about it; i.e. shitting on dudes for making a move at all. And to be fair, guys should learn how to read a room and save themselves from pain & embarrassment.

But this is where male selectivity comes into play. Sure, guys might be open to dating/fucking pretty much every attractive woman in the room, but only certain girls will move a guy to actually take a risk and ask her out.

Also "passive" is often mistaken for nice. IDK where dudes get that idea. They aren't related. "Passive" might be inoffensive, but it isn't "nice."

decoy88 · 2019-11-21T17:57:17+00:00

[deleted]

Emervila · 2019-11-21T18:31:12+00:00

Nice guys are just defective males soaked by the BP, the idea and execution of roles are both wrong/not updated and will always be unless they open their eyes to the reality, modern females don't follow boomer standards anymore they are outspoken, self-driven, just free... they just can't handle the modern woman. It's not their as in guilty of it but it is their responsibility to leave that lie and face reality.

I don't advocate for the "you need to be good looking or GTFO" positioning BUT looks give you a hell of advantage and chances, it's undeniable. Most of these guys don't have and never will such looks but they can improve themselves mentally, physically and in a fashionable way.

Incels, Femcels, nice guys and girls all the collateral damaged people from the SMP need to do as any other person is to assess their own SMV as objectively as possible. What they fail to see is SMV is not static but dynamic. It can be improved by removing negative points and be managed to get something but also in the current dating world either OLD or any other MP the person who succeeds is the one who understand his/her own SMV and makes the best out of it. Those who wait and only hold traditional roles in hopes of getting somewhere with that will fall into a bitter hell.

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Kos_-_Omak · 2019-11-21T20:33:56+00:00

The problem with Nice Guys is that they are inherently deceptive. They ARE male, they ARE sexual, they DO want to fuck the girls that they interact with, they just try to repress or conceal their male sexuality. But unless those guys are truly asexual, eventually their sexuality will have to come out. That's when the charade falls apart. And when the NiceGuy suddenly gropes a girl or tries to kiss her after acting like a complete asexual up to that point, it shows that the whole act was complete bullshit.

Male sexuality isn't the problem. Women like male sexuality. What women don't like is male thirst, desperation, and dishonesty.

NOTSM · 2019-11-21T17:26:08+00:00

The whole nice guy thing covers more than just this, but you've definitely hit the a key aspect of it.

So where does the truth lie? Is male sexuality and the gendered roles and expectations wrong and does this dynamic make it imposing on women?

It's not "wrong" but it's going to be imposing at times. But, like you said, men need to just suck it up and take the rejections when they come.

I also think that a lot of people, both men and women, are becoming increasingly anxious, avoidant and lacking in social skills. This makes the whole thing more difficult, men are more likely to misread things or try to escalate the wrong way. Women are more likely to overreact or not know how to shut down interest. I'm in my late 20s and the current situation seems like a huge cluster fuck in comparison to even 5 years ago.

maddisser101 · 2019-11-21T17:51:24+00:00

Nice Guys act nice because that is all they know. They are nice to others because they think that is how they receive what they want. They are misled and are upset at the fact that their worldview is not what they think it is. They simply think that because they are nice they then will receive a nicety in return which could not be more false.

The whole purpose is to be clear with intentions. You take what you want. If they will not give it to you then go somewhere else like you said. Rejection is a part of life and Nice Guys do not want to accept that fact.

wub1234 · 2019-11-21T17:59:23+00:00

I know this isn't a popular opinion, but a lot of it comes down to luck. That's why there is the expression 'getting lucky'.

You could act 'nice', and just happen to trigger the right responses at the right times, and 'get lucky'. And, anyway, women can just decide that they like you, or don't like you, often for the most extraneous and unpredictable reasons.

Equally, you could do everything 'right', escalate and all that stuff, and be rebuffed. It happens all the time.

I've acted exactly the same way with different women and got completely different results. I've even acted exactly the same way with one woman in particular who I knew really liked me, but I wasn't really into her. But because I just behaved naturally, the chemistry happened from her side, even though I knew I wasn't attracted to her.

Whenever I've had a successful date, at the end of the date, there hasn't really been any need for me to escalate, because the woman has made it easy for me. Sometimes she's kissed me.

Equally, there is no way I could have got anywhere with the women who have shunned me by trying to escalate things because they'd already decided that they weren't interested. They made this quite clear, as politely as possible, and I could tell anyway.

I don't personally believe that there is this need to escalate if someone is into you, and very few women nowadays are simpering types with old fashioned views on how men should behave. If they're into you they pretty much let you know. If they're not into you, they also pretty much let you know!

ohheyhi99 · 2019-11-21T18:14:41+00:00

The genuine Nice Guy actually is distinguished from typical men in that he strictly listens to the incomplete advice that he hears from some women. But the qualities that he learns to think of as essential, and ways that he ends up distinguishing himself, will ultimately have minor, if not negative effects on his raw attractiveness.

wtknight · 2019-11-21T20:18:18+00:00

Is male sexuality and the gendered roles and expectations wrong and does this dynamic make it imposing on women?

Not at all. It’s like saying that one should be expected to be just given a job rather than having to apply and interview for one.

bakedfob77 · 2019-11-22T00:08:46+00:00

This comment thread has me rocking back n fourth in the corner rn 😳

reluctantly_red · 2019-11-21T17:48:25+00:00

If you choose not to play the game you can't complain about losing.

poppy_blu · 2019-11-22T03:56:14+00:00

Men have to accept the fact that they will inevitably approach and/or escalate at the wrong time and be rejected, and that’s okay.

The whole point. All of this MGTOW and incel nonsense and ranting and raving about #metoo and only the top 20% get laid, blah, blah all boils down to the fact that these men have a literal crippling fear of rejection. It’s easier to preemptively reject and convince yourself and the world that you don’t approach because youve decided women suck, they’re not worth it, they have it in for you, etc

Ive always said part of the reason black men do so well with women is they're not shy to approach and don’t care if they get rejected (or don’t show it).

wtffellification · 2019-11-21T21:08:23+00:00

A true nice guy has no fear of rejection. He just has empathy enough to know that by approaching a woman, he risks making her feel disgusted by his mere presence

No such man exists

AnotherUserName10698 · 2019-11-21T22:32:29+00:00

I’ve had a few kind male friends who have told me about how they felt they were imposing. I felt bad for them because there needs to be a balance, know the right moments that it’s appropriate to escalate.

But! One of them just ended up in a relationship and they’ve been dating for a month. How did it happen? He paid attention to subtle hints of interest. Guess what? He’s fat too but such a sweet, stand up guy. This isn’t his first gf either. So that nice guy didn’t finish last.

On nice guys...

Comments

bruh 🙌🙌🙌🙌😎

Title	On nice guys...
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	9
Comments	149
Date	November 21, 2019 5:03 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dzma77/on_nice_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/on-nice-guys.296129 https://theredarchive.com/post/296129