Paternity Tests Should Be Destigmatized. Why do you think Women are still so against it? Is it Paternity Fraud reasons?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-06-09T15:30:52+00:00

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DreaminInChocolate · 2024-06-09T14:42:25+00:00

My kids have all been tested. I have 0 issues with paternity tests. Get one if it's important to you. There's an important caveat to this situation. You're a fucking bitch if you wait until she's pregnant or that baby is born to bring up something that important and it 100% looks like an accusation of cheating at that point. That's unacceptable and you have no right to cry about the consquences of your actions from waiting until that point, even if it means her leaving with your kid. Waiting to bring that up is like crying you were baby trapped because you didn't talk about abortion before an accidental pregnancy and she's always been pro life or you're pro life and she's always planned on getting an abortion.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-06-09T14:57:07+00:00

Men are free to have paternity tests done. You just have to pay for them, that's all.

krackedy · 2024-06-09T14:32:43+00:00

If a man lives with the child he can get a paternity test without even telling the mom. He doesn't need her permission. I don't know where this idea came from that a man has to ask for one (if he's assumed to be the father and in a relationship with the mom).

If he doesn't have access to the child he can get one court ordered.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-06-09T14:48:34+00:00

In a lot of situations I think paternity tests are valid and useful.

But in my observed experience I’ve noticed a lot of online fear creeping into men’s otherwise healthy relationships where they’re suddenly addressing potential cheating accusations out of the blue to their pregnant faithful wife.

It’s a dick move if it’s not handled well.

toasterchild · 2024-06-09T15:03:44+00:00

I support paternity testing, I would also get very offended if my husband suggested needing one. Both things can be true at one time. I get that men want to know for sure but they also have to understand that the implication is insulting as fuck. Why the fuck not just test on your own without accusing your partner of cheating? How the fuck do people not understand this? Nobody is stopping your from paternity testing what you are really asking is why don't women feel good when we accuse them of cheating and trying to pass someone else's baby off on us?

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-06-09T15:16:28+00:00

Just accept the consequences.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-06-09T15:20:48+00:00

Outside of Daytime TV and AITA posts, it’s a solution looking for a problem.

Proudvow · 2024-06-09T15:30:22+00:00

You shouldn't be allowed on the birth certificate without DNA proof of relation.

Why do people want it possible for individuals to accidentally take responsibility for the wrong children?

matt_with_a_w · 2024-06-09T14:39:59+00:00

You don't need permission you can just buy a test. The mom doesn't have to be involved at all.

Professional_Sun7586 · 2024-06-09T14:37:53+00:00

They've got their own right to demand a paternity test as I have to walk out of the relationship once It's proven. It's a major breach of trust nonetheless. They can raise the kid alone then. After all its theirs, right ?

Solondthewookiee · 2024-06-09T14:54:27+00:00

Because women, like men, resent being accused of cheating with no proof.

but women should have zero say or opinion when it comes to Paternity testing

They already do. You don't need her permission to get a paternity test.

DoubleFistBishh · 2024-06-09T14:58:51+00:00

Okay so if you guys are going to keep bringing this up then stop using statistics to defend your anger at women being cautious of strange men.

dawgoon · 2024-06-09T15:10:26+00:00

I understand what you are trying to convey. I understand that paternity frauds are rising and all that stuff but it's still kinda blaming your spouse of cheating.

Try understanding it from your spouse's perspective, by demanding paternity test, you're kinda blaming her of a case of potential cheating. That's definitely gonna hurt your spouse. If you are in a relationship, you both have to give 100 % of your everything to each other which includes trust.

If you don't trust your spouse enough and suspect her of cheating, your relationship is over. Relationships are established on trust for each other and if there isn't enough trust, better break it off.

Now about Man's right, yes should be able to have a paternity test if you're suspecting cheating but then just don't make a Pikachu face when women's feeling are hurt, her self respect is attacked and she may want to end it.

You can too take your baby to have a paternity test without your spouse noticing it. As much as you should have right to paternity test, women should have right and say on ending the relationship, once results are out.

Not all man and women are bad and cheaters. Just because cases of paternity fraud are coming out, you just shouldn't really blame everyone.

It would hurt me if my mother, my sister or my daughter has to give proof that she's not cheating if she has not even given out hints of any potential cheating.

One solution I see is make it mandatory and not voluntary. Maybe that won't hurt her, making it mandatory before writing father's name in birth certificate can be a procedure.

Minoune1 · 2024-06-09T15:15:46+00:00

Men who are parenoid about their girlfriend cheating with a man vastly overate how (straight) sex is interesting to most straight women.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-06-09T15:26:55+00:00

Men have to work together to get it de stigmatized, it’s not just going to happen out of thin air.

Men have the option to have a paternity test if they want.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-06-09T15:28:13+00:00

You can do whatever you want. It doesn’t change the fact that she might be offended by the implication.

alotofironsinthefire · 2024-06-09T14:54:28+00:00

If you accuse someone of cheating they are allowed to find that offensive.

If your spouse cheats on you and gives you a lifetime STD, that is also something that will stay with you and cost you money for life.

Still asking your partner of 10 years, especially when there is no proof of cheating, for one is going to ruffle some feathers.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-06-09T14:48:56+00:00

If you’re asking for a paternity test, then you are effectively accusing your partner of cheating on you and attempting paternity fraud; it should be obvious why most expectant mothers would have a problem with this

EulenWatcher · 2024-06-09T14:57:43+00:00

I get both sides here.

Yes, men often cannot know for sure unless they have some distinctive inheritable features like a specific birth mark. There are cases of paternity fraud.

Yes, women can feel offended by the idea. It implies that your partner considers that you might have not only cheated on him, but also be cruel and stupid enough to do paternity fraud to him.

In the end of the day, it's about communication and navigating your relationships to the best ability. You can say that it's anxiety of yours, you can do it without saying anything to her, you can request a DNA for both of you, you can buy a kit yourself etc. Whatever works for your situation really.

I am curious how many men would be okay with women having emergency bag/fund or women requesting STDs tests after each business trip and refusing to have any unprotected sex for half a year just to be safe. The implication is the same here.

Freethinker312 · 2024-06-09T15:11:23+00:00

It's a man's RIGHT.

And it is a woman's right to not want to have a child with a man who doesn't trust her.

unhingedtherapist254 · 2024-06-09T15:05:59+00:00

It's simple really, they want to have the option of cheating without having to get caught. Think about it for a second, if abortion was banned and severely inaccessible and there were mandatory paternity tests, a woman(esp a married one) would have to really second guess herself about going forward with cheating. This is why you hear them clapback with wanting to be notified of any child fathered by the husband out of wedlock. Women know deep down that mandatory paternity tests would act as a big deterrence to extra marital affairs.

Women also know that they have the power to blackmail and manipulate their husbands into not getting one, this is why they want it to be elective instead of Mandatory. They could very well use the unspoken threat of "you don't trust me, I'mma let you do the test then serve you divorce papers" to guilt and coerce the husband into taking her word for it, that the child is his.

UninterestingFork · 2024-06-09T15:10:48+00:00

I'm against paternity tests because they are expensive (imagine making them mandatory) and that money has other better uses

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2024-06-09T15:00:20+00:00

Whenever this discussion comes up, I just start laughing, honestly.

There is no logical reason why paternity tests shouldn't be something that happens instantly after the child is born in 100% of the cases.

Make it be something mandatory, not something fathers have to demand, then the issue of "trust" will be nonexistent 😂

"No, honey, it's not that I don't trust you. See, the government made it mandatory for paternity tests to be made after birth, I didn't demand it personally 😉"

Everything else is just gaslighting by people who don't want to give up their leverage.

MundisGrundy · 2024-06-09T15:03:04+00:00

In France, they had to make tests illegal because of how many families were falling apart after finding out that theor partners had cheated.

Now you need a court order to get one and can be punish with prison for getting ome independently.

Why do you think women would be against mandatory testing?

GhettoJamesBond · 2024-06-09T15:10:11+00:00

I think it already is destigmatized. Just about all the fathers I know secretly got tests done.

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NefariousnessOk3348 · 2024-06-09T15:08:47+00:00

The male position in law. http://empathygap.uk/Control%20of%20Mens%20Fertility.pdf

The (rather scary) figures on paternity fraud. https://www.academia.edu/38028322/Database_of_Sources_for_Mispaternity_Rates

The female position, that we should pay up and look cheerful about being a 'father'. https://jme.bmj.com/content/medethics/33/8/475.full.pdf

The female position, glorying in daddy trapping men for financial support, after riding some kind of carousel. https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/who-s-the-daddy/

Title	Paternity Tests Should Be Destigmatized. Why do you think Women are still so against it? Is it Paternity Fraud reasons?
Author	NefariousnessOk3348
Upvotes	11
Comments	72
Date	June 9, 2024 2:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dbuyfl/paternity_tests_should_be_destigmatized_why_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/paternity-tests-should-be-destigmatized-why-do-you.1521033 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521033

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