People Are Dating All Wrong, According to Data Science

cowfishAreReal · 2022-06-21T15:01:09+00:00

So basically relationships don't make people happy and the best predictor for being happy in a relationship is being happy before the relationship. Sounds like something I literally said on this sub multiple times. If you're miserable alone you'll be miserable dating, and if you're happy with yourself you'll be happy with a partner

Digedag · 2022-06-21T15:15:05+00:00

machine learning models found that the traits listed below, in a mate,
were among the least predictive of happiness with that mate. [...]

Race/ethnicity

Religious affiliation

Height

Occupation

Physical attractiveness

Previous marital status

Sexual tastes

Similarity to oneself

Do-it-for-you · 2022-06-21T16:47:50+00:00

The one and major issue I have with this study is it’s only focusing on relationships that already exist.

Meaning it’s focusing on two people who already know each other’s traits (race, religion, height, occupation, physical features, etc) and decided to date each other with this knowledge.

This does not prove that people who have standards would be happy if they dropped those standards to date someone who’s happy.

Aka, a fit attractive women is not going to be happy with a short fat man, even if the short fat man is happy and satisfied with their life.

Because of this, the data is skewed towards people who are already happy dating each other based on the traits they have, that this study claims has no effect on their overall happiness.

All it means is that if you’re already in a relationship, the reason it’s successful or not has almost nothing to do with your race, height, physical attractiveness, similar interests (or lack off), occupation, etc. What makes a relationship successful is simply if both of you are satisfied with life.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-06-21T16:53:50+00:00

Dating someone who isn’t your type is a waste of your and that persons time

qsdf321 · 2022-06-21T17:56:53+00:00

Nice, that's an actually interesting post. Not the usual self-pity/pseudoscience bs that gets posted so often here.

heartheartdoki96 · 2022-06-21T16:12:13+00:00

Yes, to a degree. Like, yes, you can be opposites on many things and be happy in a dynamic, but people pick partners who are opposites in such major ways and spend the time fighting.

Like cleaning, big one I've seen. Ones a slob, the other a clean freak, regular conflict.

Sex drives, one low the other high, constant fighting and stress about it.

And then there's other things like what does this person do with their free time? Because if they like watching TV or playing video games for 6 hours on their day off and you like hiking and trying new shit often, that's going to be constant compromise.

YouAskedIt · 2022-06-21T15:12:18+00:00

I wouldn't date someone that's not my type, even if it had meant staying single forever, because those things are important to me. I am a happy fulfilled person outside of a relationship, so no, I am not going to date someone that doesn't make me happy too.

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-06-21T15:12:31+00:00

Love is fleeting at the best of times.

Hoopy223 · 2022-06-21T18:56:10+00:00

To me as an adult that list is common sense. Just because someone is conventionally attractive or tall or rich or “your type” whatever doesn’t mean you’re going to be happy with them.

LarryLooxmax · 2022-06-21T23:44:33+00:00

I come from a culture where arranged marriage is common, and its really common to hear "we didnt feel any attraction at first but we grew into each other and now we love each other"

Humans in general are bad at predicting what will make them happy, usually everyone BUT you in your orbit realizes the dumb self destructive or petty, tunnel vision things you do to self sabotage, but you yourself cant see it, due to stubbornness.

Doesnt mean freedom to date around is bad or whatever, but yeah, people tend to not be rational self actors. This is a well known principle in economics and mass psychology. But because the western world tends to suck the common man's dick, and tell him he is so great and deserving of freedom and democracy=good and bla bla, the news doesn't really register with him.

Honestly, "happiness" isnt even the greatest metric. Some people are nietchzeans and would prefer to maximize both greatness and suffering.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-06-22T09:56:00+00:00

Do they have the list of traits that did matter to happiness?

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hentaipolice · 2022-06-21T23:05:29+00:00

I totally agree with the study and this has been conventional wisdom that's been lost within the current generations. We're all a lot more shallow now and picking traits that won't help nurture a family or a relationship. I wish more people were aware of this. As for going for a partner not my type, it's a compromise.

Lacaille_9352 · 2022-06-22T04:44:22+00:00

Yes this is very obvious. The fact that you are in a relationship with someone in the first place means you are already satisfied with their attractiveness, height etc. so these won't impact happiness. These traits are still valuable and the conclusion that we are dating 'wrong' i.e. that you could be happier with someone who you think is too ugly/short is incorrect.

beleidigtewurst · 2022-06-22T09:24:46+00:00

Happiness is elusive.

It is nevertheless measured in US, starting from 1972.

So, happiness is declining from 1972. Unhappiness is raising since 1988.

source (the article links actual studies behind each figure voiced)

Title	People Are Dating All Wrong, According to Data Science
Author	QuestionEquivalent62
Upvotes	19
Comments	58
Date	June 21, 2022 2:47 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vhf1qh/people_are_dating_all_wrong_according_to_data/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/people-are-dating-all-wrong-according-to-data.1209540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209540

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