If you observe carefully, there are cognitive dissonant ideas around: - Being single is empowering, and you can divorce at any time, yet also choosing the right person is the most important decision ever and you should never lower standards (which creates lots of stress). - Men claim to want trad women but also expect them to behave like porn actresses. - Having sex is not a big thing if there is consent, but also somehow men in their 30s having sex with women in their 20s is predatory. - Women are free to work and provide for themselves, and expect to be equal to men, but also, they expect the guy to out-earn them... mathematically impossible for all women to be happy that way. - Men often want open marriage for themselves, but not for the woman.

I think this all can be traced back to the birth control pill. Of course, the advantage of the pill is that we do not have orphanages full and millions of abortions, and yet it also creates a very inefficient dating and sexual market that is making many people deeply unhappy, especially because you do not really know who is taking the pill, who really wants children or not after claiming it to get in your legs, etc. Life is full of tradeoffs and when you improve one dimension of it, another has to pay.

What is the point of commitment and marriage security if you know you can have sex with no consequences? Maybe if we get rid of that we all will be happy or maybe it will be even worse? Maybe commitment itself shall be having a child? After all, child support is a kind of marriage obligation that is not extinguished after divorce. Maybe the government will just fill the ugly holes.