What are the differences between a 'friendship personality' and a 'sexually/romantically attractive personality'?

Orange_Paisley · 2022-03-20T23:11:03+00:00

The difference is the physical attraction.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-03-20T22:38:55+00:00

A guy needs to have self respect, dignity, not see himself as an "entertainer". To have good relationship material personality.

A friendly guy is goofy, jester like, and doesnt have dignity and willing to give up respect for others fun

-ShesACarnival- · 2022-03-20T21:47:56+00:00

sexy men are lusty. they seduce and flirt and sexualize and have a way of looking at a woman that makes her feel "seen". friendship men are sexually neuter, they dont act sexually interested but DO act friendly (they arent aloof)

YouAskedIt · 2022-03-20T21:55:37+00:00

There has to be both physical attraction along with the personality. Fun, flirty, doesn't take himself too seriously, makes you feel like the only woman in the room, and he is matching your energy. Friends are friends. You don't try to "win them over". You don't really care about how you appear to them, because you already have that established understanding of each other.

raccoon_mario_popoff · 2022-03-20T22:57:29+00:00

"thus there must be a difference between friendship personality and sexually/romantically attractive personality if physical factors are not significatively important"

Yeah the whole premise is bunk because the physical factors are significantly important for women. If you don't think height, penis size, muscle definition, and facial aesthetics are important factors in sexual attraction for women then you're on another planet.

mackenzie013_02 · 2022-03-20T22:01:44+00:00

I disagree with the premise of an extent. Physical factors are significantly important for me, personality will however make it or break it.

In terms of friendships or romantic personality; romantic has to be a lot more aligned with mine (if we’re going to date and spent significant time building towards something then we need to mesh well), our goals and values need to align as well. For friendships I don’t need any of that; my friends and I don’t share same views, our interests can be vastly different, etc.

However, most importantly, there’s absolutely zero sexually/romantically charged chemistry between me and my male friends. In fact, the more I got to know them the more into the “brother”/“family” territory they entered.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-03-20T23:49:08+00:00

It's pretty simple. There are main factors. A man that doesn't bring me peace or actively work to maintain the peace is not a romantic option for me.

My male friends, while they are are fun to hangout with, are not necessarily peaceful. We spar, we argue about stupid things, they are highly disagreeable, and challenge me often.

My male friends, in spite of popular belief, have more in common such as hobbies without utility. Which is why it is easier for them to be pushed into the 'buddy brotherly' role and overlap, depending on how protective the male friend is and vice versa.

I do not vet my romantic partners for mutual hobbies and extreme similarities outside of value systems, but instead for complimentary differences. Males romantically interested in me that are too similar to me often slip into the friendzone and cannot get out of it.

My male friends also have opposing value systems, while my romantic partners do not. They are completely different vetting systems, all in all, my male and female friends also have different vetting systems. While my female friends must be peaceful in my personal space, this is not necessarily required of my male friends.

My romantic partners are not typically not disagreeable men and fair more laid back in my personal space. My male friends are not held to the same vetting systems. My romantic partners are vetted on sexual chemistry, while my male friends are not. My male friends are not sexual beings at all.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-03-21T02:53:26+00:00

Basically, if physical attraction is there or not is usually the deciding factor. No, this doesn’t mean if one woman likes your personality but doesn’t find you attractive that you’re just irredeemably ugly and doomed to be “friend zoned” by every woman you interact with. There’s a lot of variability here.

Another factor is simply whether or not you make your intentions clear early on. There is a big difference between acting friendly when asking a woman out and acting like you just want to be friends. Don’t leave room for ambiguity by asking to “hang out” or something like that if you are concerned.

Trikger · 2022-03-30T05:19:54+00:00

Unfortunately, I only seem to fall for a very niche personality trait called, "covert narcissism."

I've met many men who I found physically attractive, and I've met many men who I found emotionally attractive in a "logical" way (possessing qualities like being caring, considerate, charismatic, funny, confident.) yet none of these men have really given me a romantic spark. I find them attractive, but I am not attracted to them.

The only thing that does it for me is the immediate (non-sexual) arousal I feel when I meet someone with that specific trait. Logic and intuition are at war, and my brain tries to explain why a seemingly harmless person caused my fight-or-flight to go haywire. A fast-beating heart, rosy cheeks and the urge to shy away- it must be love.

It's not.
It's really not.

It's the uncanny valley of personalities.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-20T21:36:59+00:00

What you think is an attractive personality depends on who you are and what you're attracted to. It's even more subjective than looks to be honest. If you're asking for things that I personally would value in a romantic partner that I wouldn't already value in a friend, being romantic, having "cute" traits and being shy/introverted would be the first that come to mind.

No_Tomorrow915 · 2022-03-20T22:37:20+00:00

Friendship personality is if they aren’t into health/fitness, have 0 relationship with nature, into casual sex, and/or they aren’t sympathetic to womens issues and aren’t genuinely kind. I need those things from a partner but will befriend pretty much anyone.

AutoModerator · 2022-03-20T21:30:42+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

mistresswhat · 2022-03-20T21:50:19+00:00

I mostly reject the premise.

I can definitely be more attracted to someone based on his personality but the personality traits that would attract me are the same ones that would make me interested in befriending someone.

The one thing that would make me file someone I was attracted to as a friend instead of as a potential sexual romantic partner isn't really a personality trait -- it's a lack of interest. I'm usually pretty straightforward if I'm interested and if that's not reciprocated I'll back off.

gofigure62 · 2022-03-20T23:27:54+00:00

I can be physically attracted to someone and have sex with them or want to have sex with them. Irrespective of whether they're my friend or not.

I'm sexually and romantically attracted to people that are uniquely compatible to some degree to me specifically.

Sex and relationships with men is a risk. I'm not willing to take on that risk unless I'm comfortable with the benefits to me specifically vs the risk.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-20T23:46:47+00:00

physical attraction and personality are the two components. you usually aren’t gonna be attracted by JUST personality, but personality can rule people out.

some personalities are attractive for friendships and not relationships- i.e. maybe someone likes being friends with the “life of the party” but doesn’t actually want to DATE them because they can’t be in party mode all the time.

there are also some personalities which, while there’s nothing specifically un attractive about them, they just don’t meet the threshold. don’t you have some friends that you do enjoy hanging out with, but you couldn’t do it every hour of the day? relationships require a higher mode of personality attraction than just basic friendship level, because you don’t have to hang out with your friends all the time

also, physical factors are very important. personality can make or break it sure, but i don’t know who told you women arent visual creatures because that’s BS

AprilMaria · 2022-03-21T00:10:49+00:00

For me the difference is best illustrated by my following friends:

J: we are great friends but would flat out kill eachother in a relationship because both of us are empassioned jealous kinds of people, also while I don't judge him as a friend for his past, he's been mixed up in some dangerous shit and that wouldn't bode well for any kind of sense of security in a future together.

P: is great to talk to as a friend, entertaining but is an absolute conspirational lunatic

P2: is similar but also takes drugs

T: is a man whore you couldn't trust as far as you'd throw him, and he's completely unpredictable in every sense and in spite of having very poor personal hygiene and being very unstable, is in love with himself

J2: is prone to voilent outbursts and in love with himself.

P3: is an alcoholic

B: I don't have very much in common with besides the fact we both think eachother are nice kind people, and he's a bit too eccentric for me, and coming from me that means a lot.

A: I'm saying he has learning difficulties to put it in a polite way.

C: too wild for me, so is O

D: cranky bollix that has to have things "just so"

K: nearly young enough to be my son, like if I had him as a young teen but also just very particular, like a young version of D

B2: I just think he lives in an entirely different reality to most people, is also a bit manipulative and deceptive.

J3: old enough to be my father, and believes in a lot of mad shit. Worse than either of the P's

So to summerise it's essentially you'll accept more wierdness and flaws in someone your just friends with than someone who you'd choose to be in a relationship with.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-03-21T00:31:32+00:00

Physical factors are important. You pass the looks threshold, then personality comes into account

The difference between a "friend personality" and a "romantic personality" is just a vibe difference. Or even a "there's no oomph".

Also there are people you like but can't live with. Like I have female friends who a like as people but can only handle in small doses or who I'd hate to live with. And I've got male friends who I really like hanging out with, but if I had to spend more than two weeks straight with them someone was going to die and it's not going to be me.

2022-03-21T00:53:15+00:00

I don't think theres's much difference. As long as I'm friends with a guy and get along with them, I'm inevitably gonna start thinking about them as a potential partner. For me, it's not getting to know their personality that makes me more attracted, it's the emotional bond I have with them. I can't think of a single close male friend I've had that I haven't at some point began to feel somewhat attracted to. Not enough that I would want to initiate something or want to date, but enough that if things began to go that direction I'd be open to it.

Not now of course because I have a partner. As it is now, it's just a passing thought. Like, "You're a cool guy and I'd prolly be open to smthn if I wasn't in a relationship".

sarkington · 2022-03-21T01:31:41+00:00

Wat. These aren’t personalities

Title	What are the differences between a 'friendship personality' and a 'sexually/romantically attractive personality'?
Author	LearningInternet
Upvotes	13
Comments	74
Date	March 20, 2022 9:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tivfct/what_are_the_differences_between_a_friendship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-the-differences-between-a-friendship.1108349 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108349

Comments