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What exactly is game?

February 26, 2022

Women that have been “gamed” (and realized it later) & men that actively “practice game” successfully (like you learned these techniques from TRP or PUA, didn’t have game before), what is it? Is n-count for men an indicator of having game?

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Post Information
Title What exactly is game?
Author hdksndiisn
Upvotes 20
Comments 83
Date February 26, 2022 3:25 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-exactly-is-game.1102808
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t1zite/what_exactly_is_game/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker 28 points29 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

"Game" is just techniques to foster attraction from a woman. At it's most innocent it's just marketing oneself truthfully and effectively and seeming like an interesting person. At it's worse it's deception. But both being honest and being manipulative can be called game, in my opinion.

[–]PlayfulLawyer 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's pretty much the first of it

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ok, so it’s pretty simple - attraction building/flirting. One can have game by doing nothing (being hot) or one can have game by being suave

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think that game implies some sort of action directed towards the other person, so just being hot isn't game. It's talking, touching, smiling, etc.

Women have game too, of course, which they use on men whom they consider high value, but it's a bit different from male game.

[–]kvakerokNo Pill 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think looking hot is a game. There's grooming techniques, dressing techniques, etc for looking more attractive.

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe it's a separate "game", but I don't think that it's what people mean when they talk about game. Game is supposed to give men who don't have as strong of an appearance a better chance at success.

[–]ledatherockbandBased & Red Pilled 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In addition to being able to market one’s self, “Game” is also about being able to read signs as feedback so you can better tailer your marketing.

[–]bostonstrong1981 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s the ability to create attraction via an emotional connection with a woman through flirty conversation in an expedient manner. To be fair there likely has to be some baseline physical attraction for one to be good at this. Not to sound rude, but a 5’2 obese man with yellow teeth won’t be able to create that emotional connection no matter what. The guys who are good at it usually:

-find a shared interest and connect it to an emotional response. My husband and I are both climbers. On our first date we talked about it. But he didn’t just say “oh I like to climb too”. He talked about how his job is stressful and high pressure. But he loved climbing because in that moment the stress and pressure would dissipate, and the only thing he would focus on was the next hand or foot hold. I think he called it true cathartic freedom. Anyways when we made out later that night he said kissing me gave him that same feeling of freedom. I have no doubt he used that on other women before me. But damn, it worked.

-make witty remarks to start a conversation. One guy approached me at a bar and said “has anyone ever told you that you have a really nice glass….of wine in your hands”. He said it with a twinkle in his eyes and a smirk on his face. I initially thought he was going to compliment my ass just like 10 other guys that night but the swerve to “glass…of wine” made me laugh. My friend who was with me I think was jealous and she was like “what about my glass”. It ended up leading to a conversation about what kind of wine we like and why and he ultimately asked me out to a wine bar for some wine tasting after getting my number.

-maintain strong eye contact through the conversation. Keep good posture. Know how to touch in a flirty way based on a woman’s reaction and not as some kind of shit test.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok this all makes sense. It’s basically how I wooed every woman in the past - confidence, flirty without creeping, direct with my intentions without being pushy, and always being attractive upon first sight to them in some manner or being attractive to their friends (or having hooked up with their friends already) - ie attractiveness initially established then charming my way into the bedroom or a relationship or whatever. Thanks for the response

[–]BecretAlbatross 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's this push pull thing that attracts women because its both arousing and fun for them. Most men lack emotional intelligence so it can he hard explain how it works and why its fun to learn, but learning game is the best thing I've ever done. Whenever I'm in a social situation I feel like 95% chance I'm the most socially calibrated guy.

It's this balance between body language and what you say. The body language element conveys relaxation, confidence, and alternates between interest and disinterest. One basic tenant is that you reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. Punishing is usually something light like playfully rolling your eyes or "negging". If you do this correctly women love it because it becomes a game to win you over. Women are really good at adapting to fit other people so I think that's part of why its enjoyable.

A lot of if is also playfully pushing boundaries, seeing her reaction and adjusting. If you respond to her reactions well it makes her feel comfortable because she sees that you're reading her body language accurately. This means she knows you probably won't go too far out of ignorance.

[–]thecomingomenReddish 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

+1 for emotional intelligence

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What did you do to practice/learn game? Just go out and socialize? Any recommended reading for men? I imagine it’s a process of trial & error to some extent

[–]BecretAlbatross 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I learned back in the Real Social Dynamics days before TRP etc. Id recommend studying basics of game and doing cold approach, but these days there's a stigma around cold approach so it might not work as well. Hard to say.

[–]thecomingomenReddish 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

look up body language/social psychology Udemy courses, read books on how to build rapport, trial and error

[–]betabucks666 5 points6 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

social / improvisation skills / understanding people

[–]hemaristhysbe 3 points4 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Can we please just call it "social skills" and drop the awkward niche jargon? It reads like someone trying to explain last nights Dungeons and Dragon's experience to the quarterback.

[–]betabucks666 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you can call it wtf you want

[–]SuperannuatedpunkSocial Justice Berserker 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol - that’s such a good way to put it.

Calling it “game” is just a way of commodifying social skills. Well, a manipulative set of social skills, anyway.

[–]gordandisto 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

because it is. No one will talk and chat with to a girl the very same way you talk to your mum or your friends. It is superficial at best and manipulative at worst but they keep buying it

[–]lulll 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

theyre never going to stop using the term game because they unironically think it sounds cool lol. and that says a lot about the people who use it

[–]hemaristhysbe -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I know :(

And it's so misleading to inexperienced young men who believe there are cheat codes to making friends and getting laid. I hate it so much.

[–]lulll 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

well most people who talk about game are either loser youtube dating coaches or simps who pay those loser youtube dating coaches to be their daddy

[–]bison5595 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What about the guys who use game but don't talk about it on youtube?

[–]lulll -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]No_Regular1586 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is cheat codes though? Being tall for example, getting buff, becoming superficially charming, etc.

[–]bison5595 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why do you care what its called? The concept is still the same

[–]hemaristhysbe 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Most definitely is not. Flirting is mutual and reciprocal.

[–]No_Regular1586 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good game is also reciprocal. If you "have game" women are responding positively to it. If women think you're creepy that's because you have no game, you're awkward, nervous, jumpy, etc.

[–]WorldWideButtCheeks -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The word game makes me cringe... Wasnt that a thing jn the early-mid 2000s. For a grown adult to say "i got game" makes me shudder lol

[–]takosuwuvsyou 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, because game and social skills are different. Social skills let you honestly interact with humans to find good pairings, Game lets you have sex with bad pairings through manipulation and pretending to be a good pairing.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's just a manner of existing where women feel comfortable or entertained by you and your interactions. It's honestly not that complex or difficult and most men can do it with practice.

For me at this point in my life, I just find the juice often isn't worth the squeeze most of the time. Most women aren't actually that good in bed and the time and effort isn't worth the sex. Some guys view women sleeping with them as an ego boost, but if you see the trash most women will engage in one night stands with, you realize their barometer for a good man is all sorts of fucked up.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I recently commented on a different post that I had consistent success (fwb, ltr, ons) when I was an alcoholic/drug addict so I can definitely attest to the fact that the barometer is pretty screwed up.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly. At this point in my life, my career and my disciplines are more important than some gash. If I meet that 0.5% of women who are capable of a mature relationship who aren't controlling, I'll pursue that. Until then, I can get my own happiness myself, get my own pussy (either FWBs or prostitutes, depends how much I care to deal with someone's emotional horseshit at the time), and build a good life by myself.

Men have made the world so safe that women just fully embrace allowing their emotions to drive all their decisions because the consequences for doing so have been removed. You have a kid out of wedlock, here's government assistance and child support. They want to spiral their lives like that, be my guest, but they aren't entitled to drag me down with them.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Edit to say: I get where you’re coming from. Makes sense to me. Escorts are a lot of fun too

[–]Background_Intern_55 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Game is a combination of 2 things. Confidence and communication. It’s not about techniques or strategies it’s more like organic sales or marketing. Most People don’t have game that’s why they use tactics and manipulation. Whereas a natural communicator speaks in a way that naturally builds sexual tension if that’s what he wants or at the very least builds rapport very quickly.

[–]Mark_Freed... 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Imitating or mimicking the behaviours of men who have charisma, who make a lot of girls feel the spark or tingles.

Some examples of these behaviours are,

lot of guys talk themselves into disqualification, often the girl likes him and wishes that he will not say something stupid that will turn her off. Girls also like to talk about themselves, let her talk, let her ask questions. If you talk too much you come across as arrogant. If you ask questions remember to keep it open ended and not close ended.

Be light, yet confident don't be so serious. A lot of guys take themselves and things too seriously. Be cocky and funny. Be casual, lighthearted, even mischievous. [[Flirting]] will happen only in this atmosphere when you talk tongue-in-cheek, teasing her, being ironic and outrageously self-assured. Saying things like "you are too X". Confidence is key, be assertive and sure of yourself. People with insecurities try to impress her, get her approval. Just express your true self. Don't overanalyze things you can't change like your looks.

They don't want you to make it easy, be a open book and be straightforward. Rather they want you to be mysterious, keep her guessing about your real feelings, play hot and cold, drop clues, and let her enjoy this game. Be vague, imply/suggest what will happen, be indirect, go for subtlety. Remember the goal is not to exchange information but to generate emotions in her

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think my mischievous nature definitely worked in the past. Always have been a troublemaker. Even as an adult. And I believe a lot of women found that fun & endearing. And mysterious for sure, I went through a long artsy stoic phase & have a pretty interesting/mysterious background (some stuff I can’t even go into legally or without sounding like a paranoid schizophrenic type mysterious). Thanks for the response. I think what I need to work on more is being light & confident; now that I’ve sobered up I’m quite the “serious man” & I’m sure that’s off putting

[–]Mark_Freed... 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the response

If you found my ideas helpful I have this longer article I wrote which might be helpful


You can skip down to the techniques section.

[–]Xenomarph 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A lot of what people call 'game' is just preventing the woman from being scared off at any point during the interaction.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are common behaviors that scare women off? In my experience opening up too quickly about my dark past, or revealing too much of my inner dialogue has pushed women that were otherwise attracted to me away.

[–]Own-Boat-5374 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Made up term to sell overpriced dating scams courses

[–]King-SAMOWhy are you like this? 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

just get her to smile at you and don’t stop until she’s wearing one of your t shirts and making coffee the next morning.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like this one. I used to think a girl doesn’t truly like me til we’re having breakfast (or looked at another way, she’s breakfast). There’s a kinda funny song on that note called ‘bitch you breakfast’ by lele

[–]rivetcitymayorYou Know Why im Here 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Game is everything you do until you fuck her

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]bcool_returns 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I would argue that every man has game, that is to say a set of things they lean on consciously or unconsciously to try to advance their sexual strategy. For some men that's coming in as a friend, listening to her problems and trying to be helpful. For others, it's leaning on money and the more transactional side of things. Even saying that you don't resort to game tactics and just want to be "genuine" can be considered game in some instances. Not all game is created equal, however.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Interesting take that all men have their own version of game. So it’s basically the social dynamic a man chooses to attempt to gain attraction from a female. As a man learns what attracts the type of women he desires his game then improves. So I’m assuming being a friendly ear doesn’t work as well as other “tactics”

[–]bcool_returns 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

As a man learns what attracts the type of women he desires his game then improves.

Well, many people are just spinning their wheels. But they think it's the only thing that'll work for them, or what they've been told will work, so that's what they stick to, even though it's largely in vain.

So I’m assuming being a friendly ear doesn’t work as well as other “tactics”

Def not. I'm skeptical of the money angle, too. Especially if that's the only thing you got going. Key is to max out your physical attributes, which include things like style. All the while continuing to work on charm, charisma, and social calibration. Then there's status too. I'm no natural, but this stuff changed my life. No amount of game will move the needle with women who just aren't physically attracted to you. But I'm talking about doing well with the "Yes" women and even moving some of the "maybe" women off of the fence.

One big thing is getting men to move out of their romantic default, since I'd argue we are actually the true romantics. Sometimes, a woman just wants to get laid and be around a guy who knows who to move things from A to Z in a smooth and competent way. Then, after a bit of this, the relationship can follow. And yet time and again on dating subs, I see men with clear chances to make moves, not making these moves because they are only being told about the comfort side of the equation, with no language or awareness to navigate the attraction side. For instance here:


[–]hdksndiisn[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What’s interesting to me rn is I’ve personally had incredible success with women when I was an alcoholic/drug user, and these weren’t women that drank; it’s just that my energy was very free spirited & light, I engaged them in a playful manner, cause, well, I was playing with reality by being consistently slightly intoxicated. It was really easy escalating things because I always did & said what I wanted. Sober, I’m finding it’s difficult to maintain that level of carelessness that was so attractive; it’ll come naturally with time but I’m only 4 months drink-free so literally everything I do feels new to me, especially engaging with women.

When I had a lot of money I found it made no difference compared to when I was broke (like now), what seemed to matter more was how I spent that money - ie was I a penny pincher or did I just do what I wanted spontaneously. Arguably I did the best with women when I was nearly homeless, I think something about being a “struggling artist” really caught their attention. But now that I’m older that “game” doesn’t really work. What once made me cool pretty much makes me a loser now, if I’m honest with myself.

So I am focusing on my physique (I work out 90 min a day & look pretty damn good) and re-establishing myself as a functional human. I definitely notice more looks when I walk into a room with my current physique, where before my attitude is what stood out and was attractive.

I need to somehow find a way to integrate my drinking personality into my sober one, which is hard because I conditioned myself to drink in order to get results.

I also think adjusting to my age bracket is difficult as I’ve dated a lot of younger women who didn’t care so much about my status, and often my lack of status - being a lone wolf - is what pulled women in.

It’s just so weird to me that being a “good guy” like I’m trying to now is so unattractive compared to when I was basically a womanizer

[–]hemaristhysbe 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The difference is that you were relaxed and at ease in your own skin, with reasonable or no expectations from others. You were friends with people, friendly with people, and likable instead of intense and goal driven.


No one really wants to be the sole target of an intense human being. Most of us want to be free to be ourselves and come and go without the suffocating weight of someone’s expectations on us.


There are tomes of advice here, silly cheat codes and strange ideas about what women want, how women behave, and how to manipulate and coerce women.

Damn near all of the advice could be replaced with “Relax.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think this is the best response so far. It’s true, it’s because I was relaxed & everyone was a friend, be that a businessman or a homeless man. And that attitude is infectious. Turns a glum situation into a fun one. This is my favorite takeaway from today, for me personally, I need to learn how to be relaxed again.

[–]hemaristhysbe 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You sound fun, so go be fun again. An easy grin and a little small talk is all you need to get back to good. Start saying nice things to people on the fly for a few days. Get back in the habit of connecting with pleasant people.

Much luck!

[–]DianeticDelight -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Conventional physical attractiveness.

[–]Orange_PaisleyNARWHALT 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’d say it’s a little more than that. It would include being charming or knowing how to flirt/banter, etc.

[–]Reasonable-Steak1848 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What does narwhalt mean? It sounds like narwhal

[–]Orange_PaisleyNARWHALT 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s supposed to. AWALT, NAWALT, NARWHALT. It’s the natural progression of things.

[–]Reasonable-Steak1848 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What does it mean tho/stand for?

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[–]lulll 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

game is what happens when a bunch of out of touch dweeby 45 year olds steal 90s hip hop lingo and try to pass it off as their own

check out my bling, shit is so phat

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]tiposkY'all hoes need Jesus! God bless! 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see?

Sometimes your words just hypnotize me

And I just love your flashy ways

Guess that's why they broke, and you're so paid

[–]lulll 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yooo that was da bombbbb

[–]poppy_blumonogamous slut apparently 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Word up shortay

[–]jax006MGTowing my boat to the lake 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You just lost it

[–]Habil13Black 19M 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I consider game putting your best foot forward, and some people are better at doing that than others. Game is absolutely useless if the woman you’re trying to game isn’t interested in the first place.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So kinda like 1. Be attractive to her already (looks, status) 2. Prove said attractiveness (flirt, funny)

[–]Habil13Black 19M 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]tiposkY'all hoes need Jesus! God bless! 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Game is a set of tricks that are supposed to be attractive to women and make them want to sleep with you. Sometimes the trick is to play cool, hot and cold or telling the woman how attractive she is. Have I been gamed? I'm not sure because if a guy is good at it you don't know you've been gamed, but generally I tend to feel sexual attraction before a guy starts pursuing me so it's unlikely.

A high n-count could an indicator of many things.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This seems to be a common thread - need be attractive already. So basically I can have game from a distance by being hot, and then “game” you by solidifying value with words/actions like flirting or humor or whatever gets you going.

[–]iiexistenzeii 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Conveying your best self in the best possible light, with the best possible strategy.

That's game for you.

[–]TooHornyToFapClinically Insane 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You, me, and everyone else reading this comment just lost it

[–]thecomingomenReddish 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Charisma + emotional intelligence

Edit: n count is a factor (doesn’t have to be though) but knowing that you can have sex with almost anyone you put your game on will give you the confidence to keep on pursuing new women

[–]takosuwuvsyou 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Game is the nice word for Manipulation and Taking Advantage Of Someone. You can have a high N-Count by just being a good person to be around, but having game is to be a chameleon, and pretending to be that good person.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ok so game is actually a bad thing? A Machiavellian thing? Game is being a sleazy player vs Good Guy Chad who is a hot gentleman?

[–]takosuwuvsyou 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Chad's aren't real. As it's not universal what constitutes a 10 guy.

[–]Zcuzz 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Game for me is sort of a combination of overall presentation and a flowchart of conversation and escalation. Over time with practice, it's very natural to me and a lot of the nuances and techniques carry over into social interactions in general, not just pickup.

You learn to notice unspoken social queues. Subconscious knee jerk reactions rarely lie. It allows you to be more bold and confident when something the people are doing give away the situation, despite what's being said.

[–]hdksndiisn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you provide an example of a physical cue? I recall an old trick was to obviously look at a girls lips, and depending on her immediate facial response you basically knew if she was into you or not. Or whether or not to proceed.

[–]Zcuzz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are all sorts of body language tells in various scenarios. If someone is matching your body language, that's a subconscious queue they are jiving with your vibe. Look at the direction people's feet are pointing. Those are the people they are subconsciously engaging the most. When a room full of people laugh, they'll instinctively look to the person they feel closest with or are trying to gain favor with. These are good ways to see where people stand and to gauge attraction.

If someone's arms are folded they are uncomfortable or defensive. If someone enters a conversation and they have their back towards you, you can assume that person doesn't like you and/or feels you are a threat to their status with the other people.

Those are just a few examples. There are several articles and videos online about body language and I highly recommend them.

A real good one to pick up on is if a chick brushes past you or bumps into you, take a quick look around at how much space she had to avoid you. If there's a lot, she definitely wants you to engage. One of the hottest chicks I ever banged brushed up against me while I was sitting at the counter in a mostly empty bar. She had a good 5 or 6 feet between me and the table behind me, and no one was even sitting at it. Easiest chick I ever picked up. She was even there on a date with some other guy. I chatted her up while he did some karaoke and she slid me her number. Had in her bed the next night. Had an on and off casual thing with her for a year or two before I got into a LTR.

[–]iamthemovie1992Failed Fuckboy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s essentially just a way to keep attraction, but it’s not enough to create attraction. She needs to already be attracted to you in order for any of your game to do anything.

Now how attracted she is to you determines how much game you actually need or how good it has to be. Like a 6 has to be very good with his game, downright perfect in everything he says or does and the slightest slip up will turn her off, while the 8 just has to not say “Hitler was a great man”. It also determines how bad it has to be for her to become unattracted. Let’s talk about our guy who is an 8 to her, he will get way more chances to show off his game, while a 5 will get significantly less.

It’s basically the Step 1: Be Attractive, Step 2: Don’t be attractive. If you fuck up Step 2 you can go home alone, but if you fuck up Step 1 you’ll never even get to Step 2

[–]AussieBrooks 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Game is being able to assess a situation with a woman and make calculated moves to be more successful in dating her whether that be talking, emotionally, etc

[–]Complete-Temporary-6 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Techniques based in psychoanalysis to attract people, typically for sex or relationships

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Mrs_DrgreeWomen Are Right About Islam[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No incl content.

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