Where do these Blue Pill Platitudes come from?

verticordia · 2018-11-14T06:37:29+00:00

IMO Game and status are personality. Personality doesn't exist in a singularity or a vacuum. Your personality causes you to do things and behave in a certain way, which translate into lifestyle and personal choices which can give you status and game.

BP platitudes are just chatting shit. Don't take things people say at face value. Most people, even if they are deeply thoughtful and intelligent, don't have time or energy to really consider your unique life situation and come up with good advice or input for your specific struggle. We just say some feel good shit with good intentions.

Mr_White119811 · 2018-11-14T08:45:42+00:00

"Just Be Yourself" = "You know what its meant to mean, everyone does, If you don't then you are an autistic freak but don't ask me for what it really means as I don't know myself"

Young_Oryx · 2018-11-14T05:25:49+00:00

"Be yourself" tends to be shorthand for "be the best version of yourself." When people say be yourself they don't mean sit in a dark basement eating cheetos and fapping to anime porn while your mom cleans your room.

Electra_Cute · 2018-11-14T04:53:56+00:00

That sounds like something that people say to avoid hurting feelings, as opposed to a platitude. "You just need to believe in yourself" is more of a platitude.

killallthenarcs · 2018-11-14T07:16:01+00:00

You know (based on prior history... he's 25 and a fat shut in, he ain't been listening to anyone all these years of "sport is goof for you" at school and "get out in the sunlight to play with friends'" at home) that he ain't gonna do jack shit of what you advise and is just going to blame you if he makes a listless attempt and fails. So what's left? Find a way to answer him without confronting him enough for him to tanrtrum, then leave promptly. "Personality matters most" well yes it probably does, his personality is dealbreaker for most women. "Be yourself" also good, he'll get caught out pretty much immediately if he goes pretending he's not kind of a loser. "You'll find someone attracted to you" well maybe I don't actually believe this but I really need to leave this conversation soon and since he's got a 25 year history of not listening to a word people say about healthy lifestyles and hard work and not being antisocial really the only thing I can offer to him is that he needs to actually look for someone showing an interest. I mean if he doesn't even look for signs of interest he's totally screwed even if a girl starts giving out indicators

All makes sense.

DemonConsulting · 2018-11-14T07:01:26+00:00

be yourself

Looking at only the people who say this as actual advice, not a polite way of avoiding a tedious conversation with you: They think your true self is an extrovert and far better than what you're showing, you're just surpressing those instincts out of fear and trying to fit in. Most people who genuinely give this advice don't consider that your “true self“ might be a whiny loser who doesn't like people and just wants to play videogames in the basement all day.

Status 4.) Game

Both of these are hugely based on “personality“. If you have the “right“ personality, you will be naturally good at game, easily gain status within your group, and enjoy it instead of having to force yourself to socialize. The only reason betas get so upset at this is that they moralize personality by thinking a “good“ personality is being a non confrontational, conflict averse nice guy and that this should result in success. In reality good and bad are arbitrary but a successful personality type in terms of dating, status among peers and at work, etc. is much more “alpha“.

As for money, that's always good to have but if you have looks and personality (which then results in status and game), you don't actually need it.

beachredwhine · 2018-11-14T05:02:20+00:00

Personality matters most. You need to change your list and put personality first.

1) looks. Sure. For women they are a much higher priority than for men. For men the way we hold ourselves, our presence, which is created by our personality, is half of our looks.

Women get no such bonus. It is just how they look, hence they wear makeup, and we wear confidence.

2) money. Nope. This reminds me of some post from a few weeks ago. I don't read very many of your guys posts anymore but there was an OP where the resulting replies was a bunch of you guys, you know horribly unsuccessful guys, claiming that women desperately want a provider. To provide money to them.

These posts are constant, but always in between the posts where guys lament and weep that women can have jobs, sign contracts, inherit, and because they can provide for themselves now guys are just like oh so so magically less attractive.

It's not money. It's not providership. Women love and support a man who has goals, and she supports him in his goals. That may be to make money, to run his business, to do an amazing job at work, or whatever. It may be to be a busker in the subway who makes no money, but if he has passion for his goals she will be able to love and support him.

It's only when a man has no passion that she simply can not love and support him. Not because she doesn't want to either, but because there is nothing there to support.

And you can't support "I have money".

status.

You guys are so utterly confused about what status means that I will not comment here at all. I have a post in my head about it. And surely you all will ignore it anyway.

I'll just say this. Men, and other men, and men virtue signaling, and men respecting other men, has nothing at all to do with the men women consider to be high status. Male status in women's world is defined by women.

Listen to them.

game

wowzah you know I have even less to say to you guys about this then about status. Might as well just go bang my head into a wall.

So let's just say, game is your actions and reactions to a woman's actions and reactions. Right? How is this not your personality? I mean this is your personality. This is who you are. How you act is who you are.

I suppose it's different from number 5. personality, because you guys think it's a good idea to fake who you are, to lie, and ultimately to lie to yourselves.

Which brings us back, finally, at the end, to what you posted at the beginning;

and be yourself. You’ll find someone attracted to you

Just be yourself. Because this is the only way to live a happy life. A life of acting, lying, and the fakery is an empty hollow life. A meaningless life.

But very few men are actually capable of just being themselves. The ones who are? Yes, we are loved by women.

PuleaSpataru69 · 2018-11-14T06:54:17+00:00

"Be yourself" if yourself is naturally charismatic, funny,etc. If yourself is dull, then you need to be someone else.

Civil_Seaworthiness · 2018-11-14T09:38:28+00:00

This advice is given under the assumption that the recipient's goal is not simply to accumulate lays, but to find a monogamous life partner. It's not intended for someone who does not consider that their objective.

There are some people who will be attracted to you and some people who won't be attracted to you no matter what you do. Some people are really, really good fits for your lifestyle and needs and desires and ability to meet their own needs and desires. Some people just aren't. This is unavoidably true. People are not a homogenous mass and failure with one person doesn't mean failure with all of them. Someone, somewhere, is likely buying what you're selling.

The issue here is that you may not want what they have to offer, you may not meet them, one or both of you might not be in the right place/at the right lifestage/single. I'm not talking soulmates, I'm talking people who are generally the kind of people who are right for you. This is true for the best-looking and worst-looking man in the world. The only unique and immutable 'fingerprint' by which you can recognize a person is their underlying Self, and some people have a Self that will match yours better than others.

But window dressing and walk of life matter a whole shitton, and this gets minimized in the more hopeful rhetoric. To maximize the chance that, when you meet someone who you sincerely like, who sincerely seems to like you back, that you will have success in courting them, you need to work to become the best version of yourself, whatever that means in your particular situation, without compromising your identity or values, because then you'll end up mismatching yourself inevitably.

'Personality', when someone is picking out a partner, should matter most if they want a partnership that will last. I'm not saying 'women want personality', I'm saying 'if men are asking for advice on how to successfully maintain a monogamous relationship, they should look for someone they like for something other than their face, because that will change over time'.

For many if not most people, love isn't a game of racking up points or outsmarting attractive people to gain access to them, it's about finding someone they can respect and communicate with and starting a life and a family with them. Mixed cultural messages about love as a game vs. love as an endgame are confusing, certainly, but for the people offering the advice you dislike, they've already come down hard on 'love as the endgame'.

Like, for a relationship-suitable woman, wouldn't you hope she was out there working to better herself and waiting for the best possible option in terms of a relationship, someday to meet you and discover how well you click and how easily you understand each other and how quickly she finds things about you to love?

I'm sure some people would say, 'no, I'd hope she was trying to fuck as many hot girls as possible or otherwise complaining about how hard that is to do on the internet', but those probably aren't the people for whom the advice is intended.

Mr_White119811 · 2018-11-14T10:10:04+00:00

My own experience has been:-

1) Looks

2) Game (includes personality and status)

3) Money

But there needs to be a balance of all 3. Neither one on its own is enough for anything lasting and real.

Although this is nothing new, Even in The Mystery Method, this is stated, albeit slightly differently worded

1) Health

2) Wealth

3) Relationships

HostileErectile · 2018-11-14T12:24:58+00:00

Money and personality are least important. And money gets less and less important as the gender social power status changes.

But looks are without a doubt most important..

daveofmars · 2018-11-14T14:12:08+00:00

Your mother.

Literally, I think a lot of this advice comes from our mothers. If you don't have a dad in your life, or a weak one, or a lazy one, or a beta one then you're not going to get the right advice from him as to how to attract women. Your mom is going to try to help you through the dating scene the best way she can, but she's got solipsism and projection and all the other biases that folks have. She isn't going to spill the absolute truth because women seem to be unable to articulate what they want before they're exposed to it. Attraction for them seems to be totally in the moment.

She'll look back at her life, and perhaps glance at dad, and think of what attracted her to him and give you that advice. But that advice doesn't work when you're 16-18.

So that's where you get the platitudes of "just be yourself".

Truedemocracy4 · 2018-11-14T15:21:24+00:00

I'd put status higher. Status incorporates money. The guy other guys respect will make women swoon more than a engineer.

MisterJose · 2018-11-14T17:48:58+00:00

Attraction is orthogonal to virtue, this is what I tell everyone. It's not virtue, but it's also not NOT virtue. Sometimes it's related, sometimes not at all. You don't have to be an asshole to get laid. OTOH, a little bit courage can go a long way.

I hate "be yourself". To some extent, no one knows what that even means. What it kinda means is, "Chill out and just act as you would as if getting laid and getting me to like you isn't at all a big deal to you." For some guys, that's a near-impossible ask.

If I had five an example of the way 'personality' would matter, it would be like this: When I was in college I went to house parties really wanted to get laid. I was insecure about never having been with a woman, felt like people were above me, felt nervous about not saying the wrong thing, etc. So, my conversations with women were bland, hesitant, and un-engaging. In that sense, my personality sucked.

Looking back, there were zero reason I couldn't have light-heartedly just been like, "Yep, totally never been laid. Horny as fuck virgin here..." Said right, it's an easy laugh. The reason pickup lines were and are never good strategy IMO is that it doesn't matter what you say so much as how you say it, and how engaged your conversation is. Have fun with it, make her laugh.

To the extent that that is 'personality', the platitude is true. The guys I know who do best with women are not universally well off or good looking, but they are all fearless; they have a certainty of how to engage people, and no doubt or fears that they will come off wrong, and somehow no scars or hesitations from any rejections they've ever had.

LobsterOmelette · 2018-11-14T05:02:20+00:00

The idea of “personality matters most, and be yourself. You’ll find someone attracted to you. It’s all BS, and the Bad Boys will take all your chicks if you listen to that mess. I’ve learned from TRP, and through my own experience:

I'm pretty sure that's only said with the assumption that you're not some pushover loser and know how actually make yourself look good and not just think you do (and wrongly so).

1.) Looks 2.) Money 3.) Status 4.) Game 5.) Personality

What a silly list.

Money and status are like a "product" of personality and intelligence, the latter of which isn't even there. No idea about that "game" but it just sounds like some catchall word Manospherians use to explain parts of attraction which they can't put actual words to.

HossMcDank · 2018-11-14T09:19:02+00:00

People tend to believe in things that make them feel warm and fuzzy inside (hence the popularity of religion).

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flamingoinghome · 2018-11-14T18:39:41+00:00

You do understand that when they say "someone will be attracted to you" they really do just mean SOMEONE. Not your crush, not a stereotypical "hot chick," someone. It's advice that comes from people who're interested in seeing well-matched (i.e. similar) couples. They're not going to tell an introverted nerd how to get with a volleyball player who loves to party, because they don't think that'll make a happy couple even if they do get together.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2018-11-14T18:48:47+00:00

It's because giving someone actual feedback can generate an emotional response from them that they (the person giving the feedback) are to weak to handle.

"Just be yourself " is easy advice.

Eartherry · 2018-11-14T07:11:27+00:00

Blue pill advice will never entertain men just looking to get laid. It's about being a likable person so she'll maybe want to get to know you and end up wanting to have sex with you. Because how do you ask how to get women to sleep with you without considering how they'll feel about it?

the_calibre_cat · 2018-11-14T07:31:49+00:00

Socialists in the education system and academia, and socialists in the fiction and "nonfiction" media, and as a result, politics. That's how and why they can decimate any disagreement by calling someone a Nazi or a bigot. Complete dominance of the industries of mindshare.

Physiologymatters · 2018-11-14T04:59:35+00:00

One scenario among many is that some people are carefully shown from an early age that you should judge people by their character and not the physical features they were born with or how expensive their car is. If you were raised this way, you genuinely believe that integrity and character matter.

Another possibility is that people feel awkward telling a friend or aquaintance the truth about why they fail repeatedly, or don't want to stir up drama/hurt their feelings so they placate them with some feel good bullshit and change the subject.

Personally I think a lot of these sayings are carried over from a time when people were concerned with virtues and morality and being of sound character, and they're used today but without the actual focus on developing good character.

Title	Where do these Blue Pill Platitudes come from?
Author	nicksaiz65
Upvotes	5
Comments	60
Date	November 14, 2018 4:43 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9wwukq/where_do_these_blue_pill_platitudes_come_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/where-do-these-blue-pill-platitudes-come-from.259056 https://theredarchive.com/post/259056

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