Is it odd that she doesn't touch me in public and barely has any photos of us on social media?

ThrowawayOFCCCC · 2019-08-07T12:14:42+00:00

If you were the prize she would show you off.

From your post, I can tell you aren't, and she probably knows that too. Holding hands for a place to live is a good deal though!

ke3bsf6 · 2019-08-07T12:34:55+00:00

she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple

How much more obvious can she be. She's clearly not thinking about long term being with you. You're just a placement for affection till she finds someone better.

SirKolbath · 2019-08-07T12:40:03+00:00

If she's not the one showing you off and doing everything she can to broadcast that you're a couple then she has one foot out the door.

Shove the other one out. Find another place to live and next her. There are 3.66 billion women in the world and the majority would be happy to be seen holding your hand in public.

SemperPrimus · 2019-08-07T12:26:45+00:00

This is how women are these days if they are high value. Date but not be seen publicly in case she finds a better dick next month

doublecup__ · 2019-08-07T12:50:28+00:00

She perceives herself as having higher SMV than you so she’s ashamed to even be seen with you.

Your #1 priority is to kick her out if possible/find a new place. Until then, treat her like a roommate or a fat girl that’s invisible to you. Make yourself as unavailable as possible and do productive shit with this time. Pick up extra work hours, hang out with your bros, put more time into your hobbies, etc. She doesn’t get any more of your attention from now on.

LucyDD69 · 2019-08-07T12:32:59+00:00

Fuck her until she starts rejecting sex, then kick her out.

She’s waiting for the next branch swing, and having you broadcasted as her partner doesn’t help with that.

Awokeeleven · 2019-08-07T15:24:27+00:00

Like other have written, you are in denial. Your GF has disrespected you a lot.

redhawkes · 2019-08-07T15:40:25+00:00

Dude, tingles are gone, it's over. Next. The whole post, 'she' 'she' 'she', you're operating in her frame. Wake up.

You're too ego invested to listen and your mental gymnastic hamstering ain't helping.

You can try 12 levels of dread, but it's better to find a new prospect. Relationships are not investments, they are restaurants. You cling to your past 3 years old relationship, it means shit to her.

Remember the Briffault's Law and the Light Switch Effect.

Irtotallynotrobot · 2019-08-07T13:50:28+00:00

All bullshit aside, it's clear as day that being treated like that by your LTR doesn't feel good. That's enough to justify tossing her. Prioritize your standards for how you're being treated above all else, it's not okay for her to dictate how you behave for any reason. It would feel much better to be welcomed in public. PDA is gross when you're full on making out in public, not discreet ass grabs.

I'd start by giving your public attention to other women in front of her (ass grabs and all) and when she bitches about it, tell her that you'd be affectionate with her instead if it didn't piss her off. Or just drop her.

And yes, that's odd.

TheRealEyesWideOpen · 2019-08-07T13:21:25+00:00

It obviously bothers the OP, which is enough to next her.

Especially if she progresses to dead bedroom syndrome.

She’s 26 and still has SMV. She’s definitely looking to monkey branch.

frick-a-frack · 2019-08-07T14:35:15+00:00

Wow. She has you trained.

Does she suck you off in private? Ever. LOL

SeasonedRP · 2019-08-07T14:52:32+00:00

You say you're sure she isn't cheating. It sure sounds like she is to me, either that or lining up a prospect. Her behavior is not normal for a girl in a relationship. She should be showing you off and getting affectionate with you in public, not hiding you and getting mad when you are affectionate. If I were you, I'd start talking to other girls and end the lease and move out. It's only going to get worse.

GoldenHusky · 2019-08-07T14:55:12+00:00

When I was with my ex and I became bored of her, I have this feeling of "refuse to let the public know we are dating". This includes not wanting to hold hands/pda much. The only time I kino is when I wanted sex.

I feel that if she's really attracted to you, she will definitely let you pda.

Let me add that this feeling comes from me perceiving her as lower value and being embarrassed of being seen with her.

Nfuckedmeup · 2019-08-07T12:13:25+00:00

She doesn't want to be seen in public with you in a romantic way since:

she doesn't hold you as high value
she just doesn't in general like to show affection in public

Ronaldo-CR7- · 2019-08-07T15:43:20+00:00

Get rid of her mate

Falling1337 · 2019-08-07T16:20:35+00:00

Not to be negative, but speaking from personal experience, it sounds like the relationship is on the downhill and she is preparing to check out.

Don't fret, it happens/ has happened to the best of us. You learn and you move on!

Corvus_Uraneus · 2019-08-07T17:48:54+00:00

" she basically said that she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple "

And what would be wrong with that? RED FLAG RED FLAG, this ho aint loyal

mismm · 2019-08-07T15:51:04+00:00

Are you trolling? Every few days you come up with a new story about this bitch

ibetrynaimprove · 2019-08-07T16:57:04+00:00

Pain-avoiding psychological denial...

Open your eyes dude, her attention is already on someone else.

AnIslandForYourself · 2019-08-07T17:34:09+00:00

She does not value you enough.Dump her now and don't look back.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2019-08-07T17:48:43+00:00

You're in trouble buddy. Think about your exit strategy. I'm sure everything that needs to be said as already been said so I'll say for next time (relationship) you make a few changes.

Firstly, I have never had this problem but I have had the opposite problem of a girl complaining about how I ignore her in public too much and wishes I did what you're doing so I personally don't have any real world examples for what to do to turn it around but obviously DEER wasn't the answer.

Second, I don't think this would ever happen to me because I treat women like play things and furniture. When were on the couch some part of me is resting in her lap. When we're driving, I'm playing with her hair or hand on the leg. I remember I was out with one girl that had especially long hair and when she was going the wrong way I gave it a decent tug and EVERYBODY in the bar saw. I didn't hear a damn word about it. I think touching in a relationship is an underestimated form of showing dominance around here. I touch you when I want, if you don't like it fuck off. They either love it, tolerate it or they're gone, simple as that.

cracksniffer666 · 2019-08-07T17:51:45+00:00

My ex would do this and act "embarrassed" about it, but she's probably saving face just in case she runs into Chad. I wish I had an answer for this. It's easier to not be a whore if there's no proof online you're in a relationship.. My ex and I worked together, and I'd give her a kiss in the break room (away from everyone) and she'd freakkk out. This was in a bar too, not some office. lol

My guess is they want to be ready to monkey-branch, and you're just her landlord.

Think about it from a woman's perspective.. if you only had to pay half the rent, and had some dude doing shit for you, and all you had to do is lay down and have sex every once in a while, would you?

Zanford · 2019-08-07T18:42:01+00:00

If she's very active on social media but 'hides' you, then do NOT take her seriously as a LTR. She either views you as an uncool beta or 'backup' option....or sometimes as an alpha fuckbuddy while she's trying to keep some beta provider in the dark. But I doubt you're in that niche based on your story. What's your sex life like with her? IS there one?

You LIVE with her and yet she doesn't want people knowing that you two are a couple!? This is nuts. Unless she's waking you up with an A-grade blowjob every morning, she probably sees you as more of a bill-paying roommate.

A third, less likely option is disapproving parents. But if that were it she should've said something by now (and even then it might be an excuse to mask the first two options) .

BusterVadge · 2019-08-07T19:44:15+00:00

We later talked about it and she basically said that she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple.

She is okay with holding hands in public, but anything more than that she gets weird about it.

So holding hands in public doesn't make it known that you're a couple?

Your girlfriend is a self-contradicting bitch, dude... Kick her out and dump her.

wisdomrichie · 2019-08-07T23:05:10+00:00

Idk how you do it my guy. All my LTRS loved my touch as they should, and would literally blow me up with a million questions about if they did something wrong if I decided not to for the day. ANY signs of disinterest from MY own girl is a huge turn off for me, cause then what tf is she there for? Meanwhile you all in your head wondering this and that.. it’s just not worth it. She makes it seem as if she’s embarrassed when you do the slightest shit. I bet a guy she was really attracted to, she wouldn’t give a fuck if he smacked her on the ass in front of everyone. By your responses I can tell you’re trying to find a solution to build her attraction back up but I honestly don’t think it’s worth the effort. Btw being just busy is not real deal dread. Dread is when she knows other girls are finding you attractive, and then she wants to play catch up. It sounds like she sees you as average, and is comfortable now. But that’s all on you. My advice would be to detach emotionally but don’t do it blatantly. Detach mentally, & try being a little more cocky or asshole maybe. Just SWITCH it up, and see what happens because clearly this isn’t going anywhere good. Might as well experiment til it’s over. & MAKE SURE you prepare your mind and plan for when it is over. Flirt with other girls while your not with her, and build your own confidence back up. I promise you when you see the positive reaction you get from just random girls, you’ll be disgusted by any disinterest from the one you call your own.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-08-08T00:55:14+00:00

she basically said that she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple.

So what? You fucking ARE a couple? Dafuq is wrong with her?

Institute "DREAD" protocols....

thrwy75479 · 2019-08-08T03:25:06+00:00

For 3 years, you've been with her, but she's never been with you.

L3onard3 · 2019-08-07T14:03:32+00:00

Wanting more affection? Monitoring her social media for your presence as a couple? You’re the bitch in this relationship.

Slut_Slayer9000 · 2019-08-07T19:17:01+00:00

OP a ton of dweebs in the comment sections have no clue about relationships and or really about girls in general, they are just projecting their ReD PiLl insecurities with their advice to you.

While her lack of PDA might seem concerning it doesn't mean she is ready to branch swing on your ass.

You've been with this girl for 3 years you know her better then anyone here, it would probably be smart to at least have a conversation about this with her and to frame it from your perspective: "What if I were you and you were trying to give me attention and you made a snide comment about trying to show everyone that we are a couple? How would that make you feel"

Then see how she reacts, if she dismisses your concern then you have your answer, if she understanding and try to work on it, that's your answer. The misconception going on in this thread is trying to apply redpill techniques to a LTR that's been going on for 3 years. Some are applicable, some make the situation worse and will end your relationship.

Cody_Silver · 2019-08-07T16:02:43+00:00

My guess is she is banging every night when she travels at least. I was a full time travel consultant and saw this happen all the time. I never cheated on my wife, but my co-workers went to town all the time. Most had “locals” on long term contracts in a particular town.

You are kidding yourself with location tracking on her phone. Cheating 101, buy a burner and leave your phone in the hotel room/office/locker at gym/etc.

Another guess, if you try to prorate your expenses based on income, she will leave you. You are just a reduction in expeneses for her. A ghost that helps pay the bills.

Jugurthajones87 · 2019-08-07T17:24:43+00:00

“She basically said she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple”

Uh wtf is wrong with that? You are a couple, that’s what you should be doing. Why isn’t she doing it?

Instead of the DEER response, smack her ass at the gym next time you go. Do it front of other people and don’t apologize for it. And when she acts outraged (both at the gym and on the drive home), be amused and indifferent. You don’t give a fuck. She’s your gf and you’ll smack her ass wherever you want.

There’s no excuse for her to be upset about that. A woman who was genuinely into you would think it was affectionate and welcome it with a laugh. This one isn’t into you. Fuck her for wanting to hide your relationship.

From now on, just unapologetically do the PDA wherever and whenever you want and be indifferent to her reaction.

Greengenes194 · 2019-08-07T17:26:14+00:00

Reading your comments, I think you don't understand that on paper you can be the greatest guy in the world, but if she sees you as a weak pussy, that's all you'll ever be to her.

Lifting, MMA, a good job, good looks don't mean shit if she's lost respect for you. For fucks sake, when a woman is really into you, she'll do absolutely anything, ANYTHING to keep YOU interested. If she gets pissed of because you try to touch her, has crushes on other dudes... Wake the fuck up.

She probably knows how insecure you are about your relationship, posting about her not having pictures with you and shit. When she said she wanted to marry you, what she really meant was:" marriage seems like an option RIGHT NOW".

Doesn't mean she'll want to marry you tommorow, or even a few hours after she said it.

And fuck giving it more time, start doing what you want. If you want a girl that is affectionate with you in public and posts pictures of you, shows you off, step your game up and go find those girls. Stop living in her frame, read the sidebar.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-08-07T17:28:15+00:00

You have a ton of work to do on yourself and none of that is going to get done while you are in a toxic relationship.

It's painfully simple that this girl does not have the qualities and values that you want in a partner. If you want to be able to grab your girls ass at the gym and make out with her in public then you deserve that. She also deserves to be with someone who also respects PDA.

There's girls out there who will spam their social media accounts with pictures of you and show you off to the world. You're never going to meet any one of them because you'd rather settle for someone who just puts up with you.

Change will be big and hard, but it is the only way to stop living your life of mediocrity.

GGrub8 · 2019-08-07T17:28:57+00:00

I strongly dislike exposing my personal life in public, including relationships, so it's a major green flag is my girl doesn't advertise me all over socials and in her social circle.

Sex frequency and enthusiasm are the only things you need to be concerned about. If she's clearly interested in you in a sexual way then don't worry about her not exposing your relationship in public, she might just want to respect your and her own privacy.

ZR1987 · 2019-08-07T17:36:28+00:00

Spin more plates.

Bilderbergerwcheese · 2019-08-07T17:37:24+00:00

I'll go out on a limb and say she was raised by incompetent parents. Possibly a lot of turmoil between the parents, while being raised.

I've never been with a girl who doesn't want to 'show me off', 'be touched by me', 'no photos of us', and makes it known she is single....

From the sounds of it, she perhaps has already cheated on you and is emotionally disconnected. Just stringing you along to split that $2500 a month apartment bill.

I could be completely wrong, but a picture says a thousands words. If shes high SMV and your a mid-low SMV, maybe different ethnicites too, you are just damage control until Brad Pit(chad) shows up with his 50th floor high rise condo. Then, the birth control will go bye bye for him. No amount of hobbies and appearence changes will seduce her into rethinking about settling down with you.

You say she travels for work with beta nerds, I use to travel for work with beta nerds(software dev?). I simply hit the streets without them and a abundance of women are at stores, bars, walking, etc.... In other words, I wouldn't rule her out to NOT cheat because she's traveling with 'beta nerds'.

Jugurthajones87 · 2019-08-07T17:55:42+00:00

And for the love of God, stop fucking her. Starfish sex is as insulting as it gets. You want hand, you withhold that shit.

Still not buying that she ain’t sleeping around on you on her business trips. Maybe not with the beta nerds at work but what about her and the girls meeting other guys at the hotel bar or some other place nearby? Happens all the time and the fact that her demeanor towards you changed after she started going on these trips speaks volumes.

Stupyyy · 2019-08-07T18:19:22+00:00

Maybe she feels like you are just her landlord.

Benny757 · 2019-08-07T18:47:30+00:00

You are wasting your time. Mark my words. She just is not into you. Dump that cold bitch. Tell her to get the fuck out.

blissfullyaware00 · 2019-08-07T18:56:58+00:00

Dread game and see how she responds. Show her you are a man of value, start blatantly flirting with women in front of her. If she doesn't fuck the shit of you after that then it's time to next.

Bedtimeshine · 2019-08-07T19:09:58+00:00

Showing the world that you are hers should make her swoon. If it doesn’t she’s not in love with you. That combined with bare bones social media presence of you... yeh bud... I’d be letting her go.

Casanova-Quinn · 2019-08-07T19:34:04+00:00

really weird about any sort of PDA

she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple

3+ years of dating and being in an LTR, shes only every uploaded like 2 photos of us.

Her Facebook profile doesn't show that her and I are in a relationship

God damn, how many more red flags do you need? She's basically just waiting for Mr. Alpha to come along while she keeps you as her back up plan. Get out of this relationship.

kingofclubsmorde · 2019-08-07T21:09:04+00:00

Your relationship is over. Speaking from similar experiences. You can believe us, you can be in denial. Whatever. Your life, your choice. Just don't come here crying when the break up happens, because you had all the warning signs in front of you. Do as you wish, but I suggest you to be a little bit prepared about the future and how it will effect your mental health.

XT3M3 · 2019-08-07T21:59:52+00:00

i came here honestly ready to rip you for caring too much and etc, but after actually reading this post, please break up with her. if the little things you described gets her that bent, you have an actual situation you need to consult.

We later talked about it and she basically said that she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple.

that qoute should be the one to alert you its time to get out. if you were higher on her SMV she wouldn't have a problem with anything ur doing.

I ended up giving her a beta DEER response and I apologized

im not one of the red pill guys to go and say NEVER APOLOGIZE , HOLD FRAME ETC. but i do wana say thst tou apologizing here is a bitch move. why are you saying sorry for her feelings towards you?

Now I feel like I have to walk on egg shells.

if you EVER feel this way about anyone, its better to not be associated with them. also hand holding is okay everything else isnt..... lmao....

I honestly don't give a shit about social media all that much anymore,

i feel like you are lying to yourself here cause the. ext point wouldnt be an issuse as much. but to answer your question i didnt have a picture up of me and my LTR. untill we did something truely special recently. she shows me off but i really dont cause of " drama vultures " .

but yea get out of this bs. and dont be shocked if shes with someone by September

superomar13 · 2019-08-07T22:04:00+00:00

Lol, that is horrible treatment. Right now, you're the one down. It's as simple as this. Tell her: lol you're so weird about touch lately, I like a girl I can grab and hold, and pin down. Doesn't seem like you can be that for me. I think you'e pretty and cool, but I understand if you can't do that for me, but I'll need to find someone that can.

You have to remember, girls REACT to you! You don't react to them. If you're worried about what she's thinking when you touch her, and then ontop of that, apologize because she looks put off, you're being lame as fuck lol. Grab her hand, twirl her around, pin her to a wall, and then when she's put off by it, look at her like shes a weird fucking alien and then take away attention and time. She will eventually fall into your frame.

If you want to reset the frame into your hands, do this for the next week: Call/ text/ anything else once for every three times she does something. 1/3 effort. THEN throw some dread in there for good measure, let her SEE you texting another chick, even if its just a friend. HIDE it from her, but in a way where she's still suspicious. Finally, work on yourself, and focus more on your future. This way, when you're at the gym, your mind is away from her, and it helps you as well as makes her more curious about you.

You need to show her you are the prize lol.

Trust me, I literally had my girlfriend of 1 year tell me she knows "I'm such a catch" and that she feels like anastasia steele from 50 shades of grey because she doesn't know what the fuck such a catch like me sees in her. Then she asked me "are you satisfied my king" as I told her to get on her knees, suck me off, and take my load on her face. She's constantly initiating affection, while I'm more detached. Sometimes I even playfully run away from her when she's trying to kiss me lol.

MAKE HER REACT TO YOU.

Jailhouseredpilled93 · 2019-08-07T22:04:46+00:00

I can tell by your post that you're young but intelligent or at least educated. However, you don't seem to have a grasp on TRP theory. You need to read the side bar. REALLY read it! Don't skim study it. Read the National Male series. If you had the concepts down, you wouldn't be in the situation you're in right now.

For now, Dread Game is your only hope. Fish for IOIs every time you go out with her. Because, women constantly need to be reassured that you were the right choice (see Hypergamy), they unconsciously pick up on all IOIs, they look for them. She's getting nothing. If girls were giving signals she'd be all over you. Mine!

Good luck.

Project_Zero_Betas · 2019-08-07T22:54:53+00:00

If a woman is proud of you, she shows you off.

If a woman wants to keep her options open, she hides her relationship.

Sorry dude but she's not your girl - you're a placeholder until whoever-she-is-actually-into makes his move

Cods_gift_to_reddit · 2019-08-07T23:21:30+00:00

I got it. You won't like it though.

You've been in a serious relationship with her for 3+ years, and she is still dating you.

For her, your relationship doesn't classify as a LTR. She's still in the early dating stage with you and isn't that keen to move you onto the next level.

Your situation would be a dream if you weren't emotionally invested & living with her thinking you are in a LTR (assuming that you're fucking regularly).

Project_Zero_Betas · 2019-08-08T00:18:47+00:00

We later talked about it and she basically said that she felt like I was trying to make it known to everyone that we are a couple.

This is her saying "I might find a better guy while I'm out with you one day, and I don't want to give him the impression that we're very serious." Hard next.

bibalong · 2019-08-08T01:47:02+00:00

Thats a next

CorruptedKnight0 · 2019-08-08T02:03:39+00:00

Like some of the post here mentioned, the real problem was with you, or more specifically your mindset.

Even on your first sentence, you exhibit the sign of fake "redpill" (read the few words in the bracket). Do x because redpill says so. No. Never ever do that. Heck do you ever follow any rules other than those made by yourself. Moving in with a LTR means that you are giving up certain things in exchange of certain others. The only thing I would recommend finding the things you gave up and the things that you gained. Then take the necessary precaution for damage control if anything goes sour. It's more difficult now as everything had settled but you can still pull it off if you're clever enough. First step, find out what you gain and lost by moving in then you balance them out by taking appropriate action.

Now as for the showing your relationship publicly part. Let me explain it with our anatomy. I'm sure you know what it felt like once you past the point of no return during ejaculation. Remember the last time you're there and your women did something you didn't like or stopped entirely and you still spray.Women has the same exact thing built in them not just on their sexual area but also in their emotions. You just have to turn them on.

If we are take a step back and look at your women, it's not hard to figure out why she behaves that way. If she can comfortably have intimacy and her sexual desire fullfill, why would she do it publicly out of her comfort zone? In other words, you will provide everything to her, why would she even try to break out of her comfort zone? Challenge her.

Some would ask you to cut her off and go zen mode by not touching her for a few months, I would suggest otherwise. Starting today, touch her and fuck her anytime you feel horny until she rejects for whatever reasons, then stop. If you're still horny, watch some porn alone and release yourself as much as you want or find some plates to fuck (don't seems attainable to you in short term). Once you're in zen mode, subtly tease her through your actions. For example, doing chores half naked, come out of shower naked and pretend to look for stuff around the room, hugging her on bed subconsciously with your morning wood poking her, do whatever to arouse her but don't try hard to prove that you're sexy, just do it. And while showing her affection, always pull away at the very last moment and leave her hanging, the more times you do, the further you bring her towards the point of no return.

Once you felt enough and want to fuck, don't give it to her directly. Take her out for dinner, later, find a private place (public toilet, car, etc. make sure it's borderline dangerous but still safe), try touching her, she will not reject if you did everything right. Do this a few times spaced between period and switch things up with some variance, you'll slowly convert her into a exhihitionist.

[deleted] · 2019-08-07T16:42:59+00:00

Wow, a lot of people with the same opinions here. They must all be right! BAAAAAAAAA

Title	Is it odd that she doesn't touch me in public and barely has any photos of us on social media?
Author	ke3bsf6
Upvotes	75
Comments	227
Date	August 7, 2019 12:03 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cn4wfk/is_it_odd_that_she_doesnt_touch_me_in_public_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-it-odd-that-she-doesnt-touch-me-in-public-and.249048 https://theredarchive.com/post/249048

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