A Meaningful connection is much better than chasing random sex.

Alternative_Fuel5805 · 2021-10-12T03:15:54+00:00

Human beings will always have a need to connect with other people, and the ultimate point of seduction is not about sexual relationships but allowing connecting with other peoples and their deep desires.

I do agree with you, and having a connection doesn't mean that the game stops, much more rather is a process through which you maintain it, but at the end it depends on the type of relationship we are looking for and where are we looking for it

BurnItDownSR · 2021-10-12T03:02:08+00:00

What makes you think you can't take time and build connection with someone you cold approach?

Heck, what makes you think a person you have sex with quickly won't want to stick around to build that connection after??

I think you're imagining a drunken beer-goggle hookup. Most of those result in quick sex but nothing more afterwards but genuine attraction, when both of you are fully aware and sober and none of you are doing it to escape or for ulterior motives not connected to a genuine desire for each other then even if you have sex on the first day you meet, if both of you can connect with each other then you sure as hell can let things grow from that point.

What, you think cold approaching someone or having sex with someone quickly stops you from talking to them about meaningful things????

Oh, and the reason a lot of you think building connections will mess things up is because building connections well is often glossed over or neglected in the seduction community. People are more focused on projecting an alpha vibe and shit. If only there was as much attention given to getting connection right as there is to the other stuff this community focuses on people will be making connections left and right and actually keep the girls they're with.

Mickmack12345 · 2021-10-12T07:01:17+00:00

Tbh I agree to an extent. Woman should be seen as people, not an object of desire. If your approach is purely for sex and zero connection then it’s probably psychologically manipulative in some aspect

That’s what I’ve always seen game as, a psychological tactic to convince the other side you’re worthy of having intercourse with, whether you really are or not, you’re only able to do it because you know what you have to be, and pretending is easier than actually being that person.

It’s much harder to be a person that is genuinely desirable outside some lust or excitement driven fling

tristian_lay · 2021-10-12T03:07:51+00:00

True unfortunately unless you see the woman frequently it’s pretty tough to build a friendship into a relationship.

And trying to build the connection without a sexual vibe leads to a permanent friend zone.

And that’s when chick moves on. I’m talking about the girls who get approached often

ksmith11011 · 2021-10-12T04:42:12+00:00

I agree that relationships are where it’s at and empty sex is unfulfilling. The problem is the meaningful connection you’re talking about building first triggers all kinds of runners instincts and prior relationship trauma for women. To protect themselves they will pick you apart and find something wrong before they allow things to progress. You will end up in the best friendzone as a result 99.9% of the time no matter how she felt about you before hand or what qualification boxes you tick for her. They do not like to go slow and they will never admit that to themselves.

If you really want to have a long term relationship practically speaking the quickest way there is through sex. That’s like a shortcut to get past all of a woman’s walls and make her ready for a relationship. You must strike while it’s hot with women or you really will lose your chance.

tjger · 2021-10-12T01:49:17+00:00

Unfortunately meaningful connections is what drives women away.. everytime I get comfortable a woman gives me a reason to go back into fuck boy mode

Women are complex af man just focus on you

Rionic · 2021-10-12T03:16:48+00:00

When you lose the meaningful connection it hurts a lot more than losing random sex

epic_pig · 2021-10-12T07:28:30+00:00

r/relationships and r/dating are that way >>>

tellythesloot · 2021-10-12T02:06:34+00:00

You sound like every woman's straight platonic guy friend

KingoftheNorth412 · 2021-10-12T01:33:05+00:00

Let the roast begin 😂

MassiveRepeat6 · 2021-10-12T05:09:03+00:00

"Even if it leads to just a friendship, it will be much more meaningful and rewarding."

It's really not more meaningful or rewarding, it's utterly frustrating.

burncushlikewood · 2021-10-12T02:36:26+00:00

Yup, women are much more attracted to men who can build an emotional connection, it's true that men get jealous of sex where as women get more jealous about intimacy. Being sensitive and connecting to a woman is what game should be about, I also like the promiscuity, having many partners, then finding a long term commitment. Get out there and meet many girls, then when you have that experience you find a wife, thsts the formula for happiness in dating I think.

DiggingCheese73 · 2021-10-12T04:09:11+00:00

I have used both for what my need is at that time. There's been times in my life where I want that connection and a companion. There's been times where I'm happy with my position in life, i don't necessarily want a partner and I'm just flat out horny. I'll go get me some or find me a friend with benefits. Recently went through a pretty traumatic break up so celibacy has been my choice lately. I know it will change again. Just be in touch with yourself and what you need in the moment. There's is nothing wrong with shifting one way or another. We are only human.

Tombsoni · 2021-10-12T03:51:29+00:00

r/niceguys

talldude8 · 2021-10-12T04:01:17+00:00

I feel like that’s a luxury problem to have after you start having lots of sex.

Narcan9 · 2021-10-12T05:12:37+00:00

I have connections with lots of FWBs, which is why they stick around so long. If you can come back years later and she is still happy to hook up then you're doing something right.

scenesick2 · 2021-10-12T05:53:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AelfredRex · 2021-10-12T12:07:15+00:00

I see this as why PUA fails. For the vast majority of women, they seek a relationship, or at least the possibility of one, so they're not going to jump into bed with every guy who compliments them on the street or in the club. Even if she decides to just have a one night stand, it's still in the back of her head that it could lead to more. So they judge men with that in mind.

PUAs only think of themselves and getting themselves off. She's just a phone number and a lay. That's it. So they are way off her wavelength. The guy who understands where she's coming from can build connections, the PUA doesn't even want to. So the former is putting out the vibes women want to feel, the latter is putting out the ones they don't.

And I can tell you as a married man, it's not the sex that matters, it's the companionship. When you travel together, see new things together, experience life together, support each other, that's what it's all about.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-10-12T02:05:55+00:00

All that building connection, building chemistry doesn't really work for me, it'll still bore me..

Now that rare instant chemistry is where it's at, problem is, that's super rare.. at least for me.

no_not_this · 2021-10-12T02:23:18+00:00

Or do whatever makes you happy. Once you see women’s true colours in general, you might change your mind. I’m 35 and will never be living with a women again never mind marrying on.

deepak8717 · 2021-10-12T04:48:12+00:00

I see your point but there’s a few issues I see and I’m a expert by no means but here it is: 1. Your not going to find the best apple on the tree after only trying 2-3 apples out the 20 apples that are on the tree especially with modern women IMO. 2. What your saying about building a genuine connection sounds great but I can assume from the tone of the post that your not somebody that is very picky when it comes to women and your already assuming that approaching a lot of girls is automatically associated with having meaningless sex to fill a void which is true for some people but not for everybody. and usually people I’ve met that think this way about people that are into seduction and sarging, are guys that have little experience with female nature, little to no options, and they get attached to the first or second woman that somewhat tolerates them and gives them sex semi annually. Which is why they think guys that have options are crazy cause they don’t understand that realm because they’d settle for almost anything. Now idk if this is you or not but this is very among dudes in the friend zone. No offense ofc. 3. If you focus too much on building a friendly connection you won’t be pushing the needle sexually, and both are needed if you actually want to start a relationship. And honestly the genuine connection/friend approach will only progress to a intimate relationship if the woman is actually attracted to you. However if she’s not attracted to you but your still “building this beautiful friendship and connection” with her, you will remain a platonic friend forever, but hey if that’s your goal knock yourself out.

PiperBigBell · 2021-10-12T04:36:41+00:00

What the fuck does this have to do with seduction? This is just more of the same generic and feel good bullshit advice with zero technical aspect that ruined this sub.

ak00n · 2021-10-12T04:28:20+00:00

Lets just get this straight, it's fun to fuck. I've lost count but somewhere around 80+ chicks ive banged and less than 100 for sure, I'm not that cool.

But somewhere around 60 or 70 the novelty of hookups/banging wore out, yeah it's still fun and I enjoy the "rush." At this point in my life, I want to build a connection/partnership. To each is their own

recyclablebanthas · 2021-10-12T14:17:51+00:00

Edit: there is support and opposition in comment section. I just want to say that age play an important role. when i was teenager sex was my priority too but as you age you start craving a connection. you start looking for soul not body.

The issue here is that the whole thrust of this post is more prescriptive than it needs to be.

It's one thing to talk about healthy or unhealthy ways to game. There are certainly a number of ways that people pursue casual sex which can be unsustainable and impractical in all the unnecessary fallout that they create in the process.

But this sub is not really about telling people what their dating goals should be. Whether people are looking for something casual or something serious, that's really their business and it's not ours to tell them what they should want.

All that comes of that kind of thing is a flame war with each camp talking about their subjective reasons which motivate them in seeking their particular goals. There's little to be gained by these kinds of debates.

chethelesser · 2021-10-12T07:18:23+00:00

Chemistry and "connection" are not in correlation. I've had amazing ons sex and boring awkward relationship sex

wallynext · 2021-10-12T07:57:40+00:00

I 100% approve of this, I just met an amazing girl to whom I felt such a deep connection and spent the weekend together, the intimacy is next fucking level, even if it doesn't workout because we live far away from each other, it was 100% worth it

DryAdhesiveness6579 · 2021-10-12T02:05:38+00:00

treat them mean, keep’em keen.

OrzhovPalatine · 2021-10-12T06:35:06+00:00

It is easy to say connection when one has already eaten. Most of the guys on this subreddit are starving

I actually agree with you that "connection"/ulititly with a woman is preferable but you dont really get there until you've had the frivolous sex.

Gotta chase that random sex, nut couple of times before you finally realize "oh shit theres other things I could be doing with my life instead of this"

TexxyGent987 · 2021-10-12T04:17:43+00:00

Completely agree with you. Everytime I had random sex I always walked away felling hollow just knowing I'll never see that person again. And this wasn't my choice. Just no actual chemistry there. So I just decided to not do anything until that time comes where I do meet that right person. But now that I'm pushing 50 I'm not sure that will actually happen. But there is still hope.

deepak8717 · 2021-10-12T04:38:43+00:00

It is, but you can’t find them

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-12T05:44:19+00:00

Never chase sex and never make it your end goal. It betrays that you are unfulfilled without it.

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-10-12T09:43:25+00:00

People also dont get that sex is can get better with the right person too. Thats apart of building the connection. Thats why its called making love rather than love.

machineghostmembrane · 2021-10-12T11:46:20+00:00

Agreed! My problem is chasing the meaningful connection. Shits hard. New girls I meet are either a) not of the meaningful variety, or b) of the meaningful variety but has a boyfriend. Guess it wouldn't truly be meaningful if felt with every girl you met.

dobbs1997 · 2021-10-12T12:11:51+00:00

i see what you’re saying but to each their own, some people just want casual sex and there’s nothing wrong with that, sex is a fun act and it’s fun to experience it with different people, different personalities, different bodies .

ashton_men · 2021-10-12T12:56:09+00:00

Wait until u find someone who gets their hole bigger than a borehole. Find a connection with someone who has done everything in life and now wants to settle down with someone meaningful.

That's gen is long gone. Only few remain with that sorta mentality. Connection, getting to know eachother and etc.

By the time when someone waits for the right one they have all the body count which will only contribute to self consciousness.

This is my say. Not getting into an argument.

BrummieAMN19 · 2021-10-13T19:39:16+00:00

They’re not mutually exclusive you can have both. Also how does this help us in anyway to attract and approach women? Just another useless vague bluepilled advice that doesn’t serve anything.

Title	A Meaningful connection is much better than chasing random sex.
Author	deepak8717
Upvotes	436
Comments	95
Date	October 12, 2021 1:28 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q6awbh/a_meaningful_connection_is_much_better_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-meaningful-connection-is-much-better-than.1274483 https://theredarchive.com/post/1274483

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