Going through a breakup sucks, and it’s difficult to move on as if nothing happened. However, you need to keep these points in mind if you ever have an urge to try to get back with your ex.

  1. She made an overt choice to remove you from her life. Let that sink in. That’s a huge deal. It doesn’t matter about your supposed history, how good she looks, or how she made you feel. In this current moment, she made the momentous decision that she no longer needs to see you. I’m a firm believer that once a girl falls out of love with you, there’s no going back. It doesn’t matter if she was madly in love with you six months ago. Emotionally, men are far more connected to the past than women are. Women are very oriented to the present moment and place far greater value on how men make them feel presently.

  2. You have to place how a woman treats and values you at the top of your priority list in relationships. As mentioned in the first point, men tend to focus on external factors—such as looks—and tend to disregard a woman’s enthusiasm for him when choosing a partner. That’s why they chase. You have draw a line in the sand at all stages of your dating life, from casual dating to serious relationships, that you will never give time and energy to those who don’t value you, or aren’t enthusiastic about you. Chasing NEVER works in the long term—you can have the greatest game in the world, but if a woman just fundamentally isn’t into you or doesn’t value you, it won’t last.

  3. This doesn’t apply in all cases, but when women initiate a breakup, they usually have another guy in mind as your replacement. Their desire to be with the other guy is often the catalyst, even if cheating wasn’t involved. If you decide to “win” her back, keep in mind that you are likely playing second fiddle to another dude. She might entertain the “idea” of getting back with you if the guy she really wants to be with isn’t showing her attention, but ask yourself, do you really want to be someone’s back up?

  4. Think of wasted time and opportunity. Our time on Earth is limited. Do you really want to forgo some potentially great relationships out there for something that didn’t work out the first time? Unless you cheated or fucked up, there’s no use in believing that something is going to be better the second time around. Even if the breakup was your fault, was it really that important to you to begin with if you chose to fuck around? Likely not.

  5. Do you really miss them, or are you scared to be alone? Some people have a hard time being on their own. If you fall into that category, consider this a chance for some self-discovery and growth by being alone for a bit. Do some hard thinking about what your purpose in life is. Being on your own is freedom. Our society shames being single and pushes relationships, sex, and romance constantly through social media. I repeat, it’s OK to be on your own. It doesn’t mean you're defective. Embrace your additional time and freedom, and use it wisely. Also, don’t shy away from dating around, and gaining experience. If you’ve only dated a few people, you need to gain experience dating multiple women. You’ll learn about what you like, get sexual experience, and not be as prone to neediness when you get into your next relationship, because you’ll realize there are many women out there who want to be with you.

  6. It’s not love— just a scarcity mindset. A lot of guys desperately want to win back an ex because they simply think they can’t do better, or even find anyone at all. This is the most destructive reason to get back with someone. And it’s illogical. Abundance is the dating world is real. There are roughly 3 billion women on the planet. Even if only .00001 percent found you attractive, that still means there are tens of thousands of women who would be interested in dating you. Yes, it’s a very broad example, but the numbers truly are on your side. You have to break out of any mindset that is convincing you that ONLY ONE woman on the planet will want you. It’s an illogical and absurd thing to believe.

TLDR: Nexver chase an ex. They made an overt choice not to be in your life. That’s a big decision. The way someone treats and prioritizes you should be a primary factor if you want to be with them. In some cases, they already had your replacement in mind. Don’t confuse loneliness/or scarcity with love.

Full article on topic: https://modating.substack.com/p/quick-guide-why-you-should-never