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gulaschgel · 2022-10-16T17:18:29+00:00

I've had girls thinking the date was being called off because I barely texted the days after the approach.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-10-16T17:44:47+00:00

if i'm going on a date with them it's because i like them and am interested in them. it would be weird not to talk to them.

cryptosis420 · 2022-10-16T18:07:02+00:00

Send her some good memes or jokes every now and then before the date.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-10-16T21:31:52+00:00

Texting is just to set up the date, right?

Nope, that's antiquated thinking from back when everyone had flip phones.

At this point, should you keep the conversation going or just stop and wait until the date?

It's a balance. You don't want to go cold turkey because she might assume you've lost interest, but you also don't want to overdo it either because that will turn her off. Just continue the existing conversation after establishing the date and when it ends, just check in on her a day or two later, just seeing how her week/weekend is going.

Jasonhardon · 2022-10-16T16:39:36+00:00

You make make some well placed jokes every couple of days as a reminder you’re there. Just make them really good fucking jokes. So the night before she will be responsive to reminding her about the date the following day. Say stuff that doesn’t require a response from her but is funny

Skizznitt · 2022-10-16T22:40:44+00:00

Just continue talking like normal man, why use all these "seduction rules" and shit people constantly spew out in here? If you like her, talk to her. Don't be like super overbearing or anything like sending a ton of messages before she even responds (as that tends to overwhelm them and makes you look needy), but why would you stop communicating with her? Part of relationship building is when you aren't together, sending her messages lets her know you are thinking about her, and that you enjoy that she's part of your life.

A lot of the crap people talk about in here, comes from people that don't actually know the first thing about dating and relationship building. The biggest thing is you just don't want to appear needy, you need to look like you have your own interests and your own life, and just do what feels natural. Forget about all these seduction tips and dating techniques, be yourself, be comfortable, be confident, if she's willing to go on a date with you, she likes you, and wants to get to know YOU better, the real you. Trying to adhere to all of these rules people are constantly talking about in here is only going to make you feel and act like someone other than yourself, which pushes you into an area where you aren't your most comfortable.

incognito3107 · 2022-10-16T20:43:03+00:00

As you are now somehow connected, that would be strange to be totally silent for couple of days. Like you are not interested in texting with her as you have already managed to schedule a meeting. You can write with her naturally if you feel the need, just don't make any major moves.

cormacru999 · 2022-10-17T01:57:06+00:00

This is another one of those questions where men think there's a "equation"to get right, that fears of being too eager are bad & that being more aloof is good. These ideas are generally popular because of men who present themselves as dating gurus, thought there are at least 2 women I know of trying to sell the same scam.

Its true that you can turn anyone off by seeming clingy or desperate, but most people enjoy when someone is into them,or interested in them, that's very basic human nature, & sadly there's no perfect method to straddle that line to get it right in all situations.

My answer, for you in particular, would depend on all the other details, how do you know her, what conversations have you had, what is she like, what are you like? For me, honesty has always been the best policy & showing interest is natural. But if you send a couple texts & she seems distant, then I would drop all expectations, & be neutral about it, see if you meet up, see how it goes.

But I see so many men here who don't have a connection to the woman they want to date or plan to meet & so there's very little basis for them to talk. I almost never dated some random woman, I knew them, either from work, or from my social circle, or the bar scene where I drank. I would have a series of interactions with them prior to the idea of hooking up, which I think makes it much more natural & easier to manage.

deep2021 · 2022-10-16T18:46:38+00:00

Depending of how long between the date

jenkinsonfire · 2022-10-17T00:02:39+00:00

The most genuine connections will have the conversations still going and the meetup picking up where you left off from texting

killedthehunter2323 · 2022-10-17T07:57:49+00:00

I mean do you wanna talk to her? It's kind of a weird question. You are going on a date so the assumption is you like her...so yeah probably just talk whenever 😏

macaroniprincess · 2022-10-17T10:44:19+00:00

If you stop texting me after we set up a time and place I assume your going to flake and I also probably won’t be showing up

squeaks_n_giggles · 2022-10-17T13:16:59+00:00

I hate it when guys go radio silent after setting up a date. I get that you want to save conversations for in person, but it makes me feel like a bait and switch and interest is easily lost with radio silence.

Yamamrot0711 · 2022-10-17T14:57:03+00:00

If she’s interested she will be there or will even text to ask if it’s on… no need to chase after you set a DEFINITE DATE a couple of days from now with a specific Time and place too meet.

If she flakes she wasn’t that into you in the first place. If she flakes and offers to meet on an other day that’s a good sigh that she really couldn’t make it.

Don’t waste time on girls that can’t hold their word to meet up when everything is set.

Charge36 · 2022-10-16T20:01:30+00:00

I generally don't text chat much. Ut if it's like more than a few days to the date I'll send a ping message. Usually touch base the day before to confirm and then only text meeting logistics the day of.

Thinkingstrange · 2022-10-16T17:54:17+00:00

I do think they will talk to me before. Like it was stated above I think maybe they reconsidered if I don’t hear anything.

kxxtlxn · 2022-10-17T00:50:08+00:00

okay, how old are all of y’all? coming from a girl..yes! text her! If someone didn’t text me I would probably just assume they changed their mind and make different plans. Just talk like you talked before making the plans. Save some big talking points for the actual date of course but at least do a daily check in of asking how their day is going/went just so they know you’re still interested. Send a picture of a sunset or something and just say you wanted to share it with them. But definitely send them something.

Subject-Craft5870 · 2022-10-17T02:35:56+00:00

Do not continue the conversation until the date! Make the date. Specific time/specific place then go back to your mission/job, work, fitness, hobbies etc. Try to leave some sense mystery about you and avoid endless conversation - you’ll just end up talking her out of the date before you even go. Sure you can send a meme or a joke here and there but overall, limit the communication significantly .

OrzhovPalatine · 2022-10-16T19:19:03+00:00

Radio silent until the actual date. You need the space to build up the mystery and anticipation. If she texts in between I'll answer but it'll be short.

Also will plan some alternative thing to do incase she flakes the day of.

dobbs1997 · 2022-10-16T23:06:35+00:00

I don’t text at all after I set the date BUT i do (& this is something you must do) confirm the date either the day of or the day before .

ctrain6676 · 2022-10-16T22:00:21+00:00

Rarely text. Maybe a little thing here or there to show it's still on, but you pushed when you got her number, set up a date, and did all of that work... now you gotta pull. You've got your own life; you're busy doing things from driving fast cars to getting in the next big trade with the executives. You don't have the time, nor does she have the importance, to be communicated with so much in between the times you scheduled to talk to each other.

Of course, if this is a genuine romantic interest, it should be noted the same push-pull technique still applies a great deal, but to a lesser degree than with casual sex or such. In this case you are taking the time to know her since she'll be a part of your life and you hers. Mostly just do whatever feels natural and appropriate, with the aforementioned technique in mind.

- Eloquence

neversleeps212 · 2022-10-16T20:15:57+00:00

I kind of leave it up to the girl a little bit. If she’s being real chatty and asking questions, then sure keep the convo going but I also don’t force it if she’s not asking questions or trying to chat a lot then just leave things be and the day before or the morning of the date if it’s an evening thing, text to confirm the date.

You don’t want to use up all the east questions like where did you grow up, how many siblings do you have, how are you liking it in this city, etc before the date

RastaPilot737 · 2022-10-16T21:20:50+00:00

Post interesting or funny shit on your status updates so she can see you have a life and may also want to comment, or you can also do it on hers but like once, not every single day until your date.

Fit_Commercial_3786 · 2022-10-16T21:29:15+00:00

I’ve been practicing this lately and I like it

epimpstyle · 2022-10-16T22:06:27+00:00

Texting is just to set up the date, right?

Some simple and short message is OK but do not spend too much time texting because it looks like you have always time for her, and you have no personal life... you don't want to be perceived like that.

I'm trying to use texting only to set up a date but it is not possible, I saw that in the evening/morning I must text something because it looks very good.

should you keep the conversation going or just stop and wait until the date?

Keep the conversation going as I said above, something short and simple.

JohnnyMnec · 2022-10-16T23:29:04+00:00

I really like arranging meetups for close dates. If for instance I want to meet on a weekday afternoon, I'd text on Monday like "how is your week". If I want to meet on weekend, I text on Wednesday or Thursday with "how free is your weekend".

After having an approximate day & time, I text/agree for the exact details on the day before the meetup or early in the same day. That way, you don't have to text any filler (which are just complications at that stage imo) and you don't have to ask stuff like "are we still on" last minute.

cleetusneck · 2022-10-17T01:24:27+00:00

Got to keep it fun and flirty. They often will get cold feet. I always like to send a text like “picked out an outfit for our date” and sent something ridiculous.

Majestic_Ad_2885 · 2022-10-17T01:25:58+00:00

1st step: Confirm date 2nd step: Improvise

Delicatestatesmen · 2022-10-17T01:31:33+00:00

not until date unless they text

UnparliamentaryTea · 2022-10-17T02:07:44+00:00

One thing I’ve realized I am not particularly good with in dating is maintaining momentum. I also definitely tend to follow the rule that less is more with texting unless the girl initiates a lot and is very responsive.

I do wonder if things would often be different if I did a better job of staying in contact a lot more, joking around and asking about the girl’s day. I also genuinely worry that that comes off too needy. I think a lot of dating advice today still comes from the 80’s and 90’s when cell phones weren’t a thing and people were shooting their shot and meeting in person all the time. Calling someone is definitely a bigger investment than texting, so there was probably no need to call someone again once agreeing to a date. But in my successful relationships, we always reached a point where we never stopped talking, whether early on or after several “stop and go” attempts. I would say don’t worry about “rules” but also don’t force conversation if it dies out either. Alternatively, if the conversation dies out but you want to check in, I would say do so (I usually hold back on this and I think it may come off disinterested). Screw the rules and seeming cool

__snipes__ · 2022-10-17T02:47:57+00:00

It’s really a judgement call, but I don’t give a ton of time to women I barely know yet. I don’t attempt to get to know a woman over text. I text them in the initial stages of dating to set up dates primarily, with some funny banter interspersed.

UnifiedField9000 · 2022-10-17T04:06:08+00:00

Sometimes but not much. Really kills the anticipation. Think of when you haven’t seen someone for a while and you get to catch up, if you hadn’t spoken for a while there is so much to talk about. Same for a first meetup. You don’t want to discuss everything over text when it’s so much better in person

I see a lot of people saying you shouldn’t leave it too long without txting something. This is solved by not planning a date way in advance. Don’t leave someone hanging for like a week or two with no contact, but a couple days is fine

Any_Software_6192 · 2022-10-17T04:10:51+00:00

When you plan the date, make sure it’s concrete. Have the date, time, and place very clear. After that, there’s really no need to text. It will also gauge how interested they truly were.

TASTY_BALLSACK_ · 2022-10-17T05:24:39+00:00

Just communicate with her.

Say something along the lines of “I prefer to keep things real, so how about I text you (day before agreed upon date) to work out the details.”

Then you legit just text them the day before to suggest a time and confirm your plans for the following day. Texting a complete stranger before meeting will hurt your odds more than anything. Be proactive and avoid it.

Edit: I just read through the other comments here and cannot agree with their overall sentiment. The above has gotten me a date with three girls off hinge in the last month. Texting is shit if it’s with a stranger. Hold off (by communicating!) until you’ve had a hopefully good first date.

Forward_Leader_3561 · 2022-10-17T14:07:08+00:00

I would say it depends on the time interval between the day of agreeing on a date and going, if it’s 1-2 days minimal contact but any longer u should stay in touch and maybe taper down ones the date is closer so she can miss u and wonder about u. Also if it’s the first date always send(a hour or two before the date)“I will be running 30 min late” she will most likely answer me too and by that u know she’s coming so u don’t get stood up

wth214 · 2022-10-17T15:57:49+00:00

Not unless the date is the next day lol even still its a good idea to send them texts the day off to make sure she’s still going and to re affirm you desire to take her out in the evening or whenever

rattled_by_rush · 2022-10-17T23:40:22+00:00

I've mostly let the conversation run it's natural course and then go silent besides a quick check in a day or so before. It's fine if you only have to wait a few days. On the other hand I tried the same thing with a girl where the date was a week out and she ended up not responding when checked in the day before. I don't blame her, I should have sent at least one or two texts in between. She seemed cool too. Oh well

rivetcitymayor · 2022-10-18T10:46:31+00:00

No but that’s why I set up the date soon to when I asked them out

atomant88 · 2022-10-19T06:49:09+00:00

nah. no point. you cant escalate over text

Numerous_Novel7599 · 2022-10-25T19:14:23+00:00

Everyone saying not to text is sadly mistaken or have gotten horrible dating advice. You always text. Like not overboard and over the top texting, but good morning texts, good night texts and asking how their day is going goes a long way. Not hearing from someone you have an attraction to and are hoping to date really gives off “not interested” vibes and as a woman I’d be 100% put off. Dating does not need to be this hard. It’s literally common sense. If you like someone and want to get to know them more, talk to them. And all this being worried about not having anything to talk about on the date??? Like if you and the person hit off well, you’ll have so much to talk about and find more things to talk about as the relationship progresses.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	105
Comments	53
Date	October 16, 2022 4:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y5l2cw/after_making_plans_to_meetup_with_a_woman_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1248264 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248264

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