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[–]pierre_WaP 28 points29 points30 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hi mate, At least you are getting matches. I think you should continue with apps, and also do approach (like what all the others on here have said). Don’t ditch the apps all together. It’s still an opportunity to meet women
[–]omega05 38 points39 points40 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm a slim due 6'0 dark skin and yes it's usually bbw who are bold enough to message me first. It is what it is
[–]Anussauce 24 points25 points26 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This. Bigger women have to go get it because it’s usually not coming to them.
[–]izzy1916 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The 6s and 7s (ladies) aim for the 10s(guys) 10s will entertain them but never be serious with them.
The opposite however is true when men are competing for women a man 6 and 7s only has 3s and 4s as options. It tends to be the fat girls who are the 3s and 4s
[–]Anussauce 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. Same logic applies to why women have much more access to attention online.
[–]TheRealMe54321 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“bold”, interesting euphemism for “desperate” but ok
[–]EducationalMeeting95 81 points82 points83 points 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Ditch apps
Go real world cold approaching.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]EducationalMeeting95 45 points46 points47 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep .
Using tinder seriously is one of the quickest ways to get depressed.
[–]RedditUserNo1990 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Unless you get matches…
[–]Anussauce 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then you get an in-person boost (inner game)
[–]surfershane25 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There a hockey expression I hear that’s a 4 on the road is an 8 at home and I think the same holds true for Online dating(mostly)
[–]Total_Obligation_371 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes 100%. You will get better results in the real world. But do not let this distract you from improving. Just you saying you could be leaner and fitter means you probably have at least 20 sounds of fat to lose. The shorter you are, the fitter you need to be. At 5'6" and being Indian, you need to be noticeably in shape compared to most guys.
[–]Purpers 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%
[–]sohail-salmani 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Ahh how this appraoching works man can you explain like after eye contact what can we say to some total stranger
[–]EducationalMeeting95 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Lots of videos of that on YouTube.
[–]Anussauce 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Top 3 you watch?
[–]EducationalMeeting95 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't have top 3 list.
Just search opening with girls and research
[–]Anussauce 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you.
[–]masmiester 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Todd valentine dating, Alex social. Richard la Ruina. All on youtube. Watch learn go out get laid.
[–]Anussauce 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
G
[–]masmiester 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also look up the old Doc Love articles and his "The system". More focused about long term things. But is great for RL psychology and helping further understand interest level and being a challenge, and not making bad decisions. That + game = massive success.
[–]SolidPuzzleheaded984 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That wasn’t his question tho.
[–]IntuitiveNeedlework 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But it was his answer
[–]notaproblem333 25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You have some odds stacked against you. You’re ethnic, short, and your face is probably average. I’m not saying you should ditch dating apps, but bear in mind you’re not their target public, especially in the country you’re probably living in ( the United States ).
That said, there’s no short-term solution to your problem. You could start making 6 figures and subtly flex it through travel pics. You could also get a 6 pack and flex that too, while being careful to not come across as too try-hard. These are some possible solutions, but getting any of these things is gonna take you 2 years at best.
So for now you’ll be better off approaching women offline, where having game can actually make a difference. Online dating is all about how much money and looks you can flex while pretending not to be flexing.
[–]shahrukh_hp1 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Online dating is all about how much money and looks you can flex while pretending not to be flexing."
That right there is gold my friend 💛
[–]greenlight144000 32 points33 points34 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re lucky you’re even getting matches
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cormacru999 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I posted this as a quote somewhere else & here's what 1 woman had to say, but it general, this is the reality, your belief system is created by men dating gurus, who prey on your fear & anger, for their own benefit, then you spread the same ideas & men continue to be angry & anxious about meeting women. When the truth is, men's inability to be real people & treat women as real people, gets them no partners.
Her reaction: "Umm….. HEY ….. no note to you’re clearly a sh*ty person and that’s why you’re not “winning” ? I’m a fat woman and I ALSO get hit with 100+ matches/likes/etc ….. (!!!?!) Upgrading his personality and beliefs and character - is important instead of his physical attributes? Women are NOT just looking at physicality - we look to how many actual real recent pics someone has, if he looks like a serial killer or an dead inside arsehole, does his profile have ANY WORDS in it? So many cishet n3m’s profiles are a singular blurry weird photo and zero to 5 words. OR a pic of abs and zero to 5 words. Women are not engaging the ab dudes. Tho those are supposedly “hot” to our society"
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Post your profile for me to review. I can usually spot the mistakes guys make, but you need to keep something in mind. It takes some effort to have your photos convey that you are a high status, powerful male. While we men only care about a woman's appearance, she cares about our lifestyle. That's why apps are so tough on men. They think they can get away with a couple of selfies like women do, but women can't tell from those photos of you are confident and if you live your life to the fullest. Sometimes they can. They read between the lines of your photos and bio and figure out - low status male.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Am I supposed to have ESP powers? I can't read your computer from my mind.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes
[–]5_7pickup 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Same here bro. Dating apps were trash for me and I only matched with ugly or fat girls. So i said fuck that and started cold approach. Ive fucked dozens of girls in the last year from cold approach. All the girls are way hotter than girls i get matched with via OLD. From a pornstar to an actress to college girls. Cold approach is the way.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]5_7pickup 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I only do night game and day clubs. I dont do day game anymore. Not worth it imo. I get all my results from night clubs and day clubs.
[–]pierre_WaP 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Hi mate, what do you mean by “day clubs”? Sorry if this is stupid question
[–]5_7pickup 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its like if a pool party and a night club had a baby
[–]Additional_Plant_539 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe daytime events, street parties, skate jams etc ?
[–]5_7pickup 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol its so funny how day clubs only exist in vegas. Its a pool party essentially. Think of a night club and a pool party had a baby.
[–]omega05 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Could be like day parties where instead of at night, they host it during the daytime like usually afternoon to early evening while the sun is still up
(at least here in Chicago)
[–]inline6throwaway 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That kind of reminds me of Fulton market. If you've never been, definitely go
Night game is much easier than day game to get results. Social environment already, higher concnetration women, day game has to be very fine tuned so easier to fuck it up.
[–]HumanChess111 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Working on your confidence and your “game” is your primary goal . Everything else is second. Second, yes obviously be lean , fit , masculine. Get a good haircut, classic or trendy . Get great skincare and hygiene. Get clothes that fit you and are “trendy” or cool for your age . And practice. . If you are using the apps make sure you have damn good pics showing yourself , lifestyle , and a few wholesome pics in proper lighting accentuating your best features
[–]theKnightWatchman44 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't lose weight, gain muscle.
I'm your height at 5'7 and I'm 76kg with about 17%bf.
At our height, to make height not an issue, my size is almost enough. When I was about 20%bf and about 82kg I looked more jacked and got better reactions from women (with clothes on).
Hit the gym and eaaaaaat. Also approach in person, you'll he surprised how you can level the playing field IRL.
Btw: deadlift 190kg, bench 115kg, squat 150kg rn. Have been stronger when I was smaller before covid.
[–]Sure-Wish3240 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OLD should not be your primary source of pussy. Social networking is a safer bet. Invest in yourself.
You are dealing with better looks. Do not forgot to deal with work and social standings.
[–]rdgarce 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am 183cm and have a pretty good phisique and overall everyone say I am good looking. I could tell stories of girls I met and laid with by cold approacing them on the street for an entire day but when I use dating apps I get 0 matches. What I learned Is that there Is nothing more important than using all the 5 senses while having an interaction (with a girl).
Dont let you down and just aim at beaufitul girls when you want to talk to someone. Dating apps should only be a plus and not what determines your "level".
P.s. if you dont like girls that matches with you on the apps, Just dont meet them. You will higher your standards and so your inner game and this Will help reach the girls you like more.
[–]Orca108 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s simple. Don’t swipe on the BBWs.
I love BBWs, skinny girls, in between girls. As long as they are a good little spoon can hold convo and have that GAWK GAWK 9000, it’s on like donkey Kong.
[–]herendzer 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I apologize in advance for putting a number of ranking on the ladies but that’s how society ranks beautify 1 - 10. From my experience online dating heavily favors women. I am paraphrasing but I have read this statement again and again that a woman who is a 2 gets hit by a lot of guys who are 10s. So it’s going to be overwhelming for her. Imagine if 20 hot ladies that are 10 each, show an interest in you and then a lady who is a 6 shows up. Who you gonna respond to. You are most likely to get an action offline. I know it can be difficult for some. I am the type of person who hardly make an eye contact let alone approach a woman offline. But that’s what you have to do.
P.S. I am older than you and I started this online this just about when I was your age. It was one hella frustration for me. It made me feel I am not fit to be dating and made me put the p***y on a pedestal- extremely dangerous thing for overall your well-being. If I were back at your age, I would delete all dating apps from my phone and engage in a more outside social activities and keep meeting women there.
You are not attractive enough yet. Lose fat, build muscle, dress cool, groom yourself better. Also, cold approach. Every guy gets better results cold approaching than online.
[–]putcoolusernamehere 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The answer to improving your dating life is always the same: looksmax and meet women irl
[–]Bingo_is_the_man 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Online only works if you literally have all of your ducks in a row. Have a sick job, be facially attractive, jacked, and have cool hobbies you can show off. I honestly have all of that, and even then it’s a bit of a swamp. The only things I have against me are that I’m only 5’11”, and im half Indian and half white. The most attractive women online will go for white guys above 6ft only. I use a mix of real life interactions and online as well and can usually get 1-2 dates per week that I’m interested in, but it’s an absurd and unsustainable amount of effort.
[–]Kidcouger 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Well buddy you're in the right place!
I hit the gym 4 days a week,
it's very obvious I'm into fitness but on the apps I would match with bigger girls I'm not that into. Or if I do match with a cutie sometimes we'll talk and it won't go anywhere but if I get them out on a date it's the same short lived romance
But once taking "seduction" more seriously and approaching women at bars or day game you'll find that it's the best and most effective way to meet higher quality women,
Dont waste your money on Tinder gold yet and keep hitting the gym, but you may want to work on your game as these two hand in hand will get you the smokeshow's
[–]assemmmm 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You cant apgrade a spon
[–]Cscottbowser 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pay a hooker
[–]recyclablebanthas1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I pretty much only get a chance at fat women online. How do I upgrade?
Dating apps often go through boom and bust. In a given region.
Sometimes it's important to realize that online dating methods should always be supplementary at best compared to a social life that exposes you to new people on a regular basis.
Long story short: you upgrade by giving yourself better options in real life. There are too many factors out of your control when it comes to apps.
[–]UglyFromBirfff911 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You too ugly….. that’s all you’ll ever get. Sorry bruh
[–]Feisty_Stuyiiyy0 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
[+]kate_b87 -10 points-9 points-8 points 3 years ago (36 children) | Copy Link
This is laughable. Let me match your energy for a second so you know how this sounds to women.
Do you think it’s fair to want to “upgrade” when most women will consider you a downgrade? No offense to short kings online!
Most women, even the upgrades mostly go for personality. Contrary to stereotypes, “upgrades” don’t like to be dated just for their looks and you’re giving a shallow vibe.
[–]theKnightWatchman44 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Your comment is laughable. Let me assess your energy so you know how it sounds to men.
You think it's ok to put this guy down for wanting to date up, but straight away you've also insinuated you want to date up?
You've also called him a downgrade based on his height alone, even though you don't know anything about him or even what he looks like.
Then after you've dismissed him for his looks, you've said people don't want to be dated for their looks?
Women do not go for personality on OLD at all because you cannot read it.
[–]kate_b87 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
It’s not about having preferences, it’s about how he is talking about people who don’t meet his preferences. It’s the mindset of thinking those who are not within his preference is a downgrade. It’s like you’re talking about a car. It’s a kind of objectification.
You have to realise that any woman of substance does not want to hear you are with them for their looks. They appreciate being called pretty, sure but not that they were filtered out by weight. Women put a lot of effort in looks because for the longest time, men dictated that that is where their value is (that and bearing children). But weight and beauty fluctuates, my guy. Stress and life experiences will cause their body to change sometimes.
My weight, for instance, fluctuates anywhere between 115-125 lb. It will destroy me if my husband thought I was of lesser value because I’m too fat at 125 or too thin at 115. And What about those times my skin breaks out or I can’t shower because my PMS can barely let me get out of bed? If these things all happen at the same time, will I be “downgraded” enough that he would see it as a justifiable reason to leave me so he could upgrade?
That is why thinking of women in terms of upgrades and downgrades and putting them on a sliding scale of beauty will be a turn off. finding out that you are only attracted to one version of them makes them feel unsafe in a relationship.
And also, it is laughable because he is applying a standard that he won’t be able to fit himself because he said himself he could stand to lose 30 lb. And while his height is something he cannot control, it is not a Beauty standard. So basically, he wants to “upgrade”but he wants the “upgrades” to look past his own features that make him a “downgrade”
[–]theKnightWatchman44 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Hmu when the TL;DR version is out fam ✌️
[–]kate_b87 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Tl;dr a guy who is barely a 5 is not hot enough to be a jerk about beauty standards
[–]theKnightWatchman44 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
How do you know he's a 5? You never met the dude, why you assuming he's a 5?
[–]kate_b87 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
He said his interactions are always with overweight women (not by his choice). Wanna bet most of them are not liking him because they find him “very attractive”?
Chubby women have been put down a lot so know they are not the beauty standard and they choose men with that in mind. So on dating apps that they tend to go for men who seem approachable looks-wise, aka mid, aka 5s-6s
Irl, chubby women may go for hotter looking guys but will settle with a nasty attitude because they feel they don’t deserve an overall nice guy who is also hot.
Also, an 8-10 guy does not feel the need to specify what he benches and deadlifts when on the topic of dating, unless someone asks. It’s always the mids doing that.
[–]theKnightWatchman44 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeh see part of my point here is that OLD is trash, and dude should try talking to women IRL.
He's not trying to approach in real life so he's gotta put up with OLD where he's gotta settle by about -3. If man tried approaching in person he wouldn't need to settle.
Well I agree on the max lifts bit, but it's useful as it can be used to ascertain what his physique is gonna look like.
[–]kate_b87 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And my point is, women don’t like shallow men especially when the men themselves can’t pass their own shallow standards.
Its one thing for guys to approach you because your looks caught their attention and they are attracted to you and it’s another thing for men to approach you because they think your looks pass this imaginary scale. It’s not you they want, it’s the idea of you and a lot of times, the idea of bragging about “bagging” you. It’s very demeaning and hurtful.
And women can tell the difference, especially when it’s an inexperienced dude approaching. That’s the difference between being labelled either endearing or a creep.
Another thing is everyone is entitled to their preference, everyone can objectively say “this person is my type, that person isn’t” but what a lot of guys are doing is categorising women’s looks like they’re cattle. As an average looking guy, you won’t be able to get away with that, just like average looking girls can’t get a pass for as many things as objectively prettier girls.
So approaching women in real life won’t do you much good either unless you have a shift in mindset about women’s appearance.
[–]Odd_Scratch_1944 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you dislike how it’s worded but it’s practically how preferences are worded in general?
He doesn’t want to say “I prefer women less fat” as that is body shaming but women always prefer guys to be taller ? So would you have prefer him to say “I like skinnier girls than the ones I’m matched with”
[–]theKnightWatchman44 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You sound like you're entirely basing everything on OLD, and thinking because it's so warped and heavily rigged towards women that it should work like that IRL. Which is baffling because OLD is literally based on looks alone. Women on OLD are the ones being shallow and rejecting men in their league and even BELOW their league!
I'm very familiar with "bagging" women based on their looks alone, it's how I learned my lesson not to date 8s and 9s, because they have no personality and there is no connection. It is not worth it just to flex, I'd rather have a 6-7 that I have an actual connection with and if she has a personality herself.
I have friends that are inexperienced, I've seen them approach and it all goes fine - because he had the balls to approach, and because it's IRL not OLD he as a 6 doesn't need to settle for obese chicks like OLD.
You sound like OLD has made you a bit entitled tbh, and made you think you're some sort of key-holder. But that's normal in this day and age, all women who have used OLD have a sense of entitlement.
This is why I advise cold approach - it's removes this, and allows guys to date in their actual league again.
[–]putcoolusernamehere 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Comparing being 5’5 (slightly below average height and out of anyones control) to being obese (completely within one’s control, and I say this as an obese person) isn’t fair.
[–]LucilleBluthsbroach 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Fairness doesn't matter in attraction. Both those things are generally considered unattractive, although there are chubby chasers so I think heavy women have the advantage over short men. In any event it doesn't matter if it's under your control or not if people find it unattractive not being under your control isn't changing that.
[–]CautiousSea4815 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You should be nicer to Buster.
And cosign the heavy women have more options. I see good looking dudes with heavy women at the store more or less every time I go. Like I know dudes can "get better" but I admire them for not gaf (not saying there's something wrong with heavy gals).
[–]LucilleBluthsbroach 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm always nice to Buster, it's Gob I don't care for. 😊
[–]putcoolusernamehere -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
5’5 is hardly a short man. It’s slightly below average height. It’s only online where you hear people talk about being 5’5 as if it’s a dating death sentence. Sure it hurts out Tinder, but if you meet women irl and are confident, muscular, successful, and have a decent personality, you’ll have a chance. Only 14.5% of men are 6’ are over, yet on Reddit people think being under 6’ is a dating death sentence. That means there are 85.5% of women who can’t bag themselves a 6 footer who are still on the market for the less tall dudes to get.
Not to mention how the US isn’t the country in the world. Go to South America or Asia and 5’5 is average or even above average.
[–]LucilleBluthsbroach 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I may be mistaken but I think op is in America where the average man is 5' 10". It's definitely short for a man here or in Europe. But if he's in a country where that's an average height it shouldn't be an issue.
[–]putcoolusernamehere 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
5’9 is the average male height in America
[–]LucilleBluthsbroach 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ok, and it's 5' 4" for women. Hes 4 inches shorter than average. So he's short.
[–]putcoolusernamehere -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He’s still 2” taller than the average woman. Only 3” shorter than the average man. It’s no dating death sentence.
[–]LucilleBluthsbroach -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your math is wrong. He's 1" taller than the average woman, 4" shorter than the average man. He's short.
[–]sparklyyblueberryy 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s not slightly below average. It is average for a woman.
[–]putcoolusernamehere 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is 4” below average height. He’s not a midget. Wear basketball shoes that are elevated 2 inches and people could hardly tell the difference.
[–]sparklyyblueberryy 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Where I live 6’0 is the average, but it doesn’t matter. 4 inches is a substantial amount. 165 is female average height. He is short, that doesn’t mean midget.
[–]Redwolfdc 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really feel that 9/10 times a woman complains about not being attractive she could up her attractiveness by simply a diet plan and exercise. Not saying it can’t be hard to lose weight. But there are women who have less appealing faces, are very short or tall, over a certain age, or have any type of overall look but if they are fit or at least average weight they will still be considered attractive by most men. But obesity is generally unattractive regardless of gender. Anyone can up their looks for OLD by being in good shape vs being overweight. And online for better or worse looks do matter.
I think the OP gives off a slight shallow vibe as well. But is the OP so bad to ask for “variety”? He’s frustrated at attracting only one type of woman.
I am on the apps as well. Unlike the OP, I barely even get matches, let alone convos 😂. I have detached attitude to the apps because if I did my self esteem would be down the hole 🕳
[–]kate_b87 -3 points-2 points-1 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Well, as he so eloquently put it in the title, he wants an upgrade. He’s not looking for variety because he’s concerned with diversity or getting to know different cultures.
Generally speaking, conventionally attractive people get a leg up in dating apps because the photo is the first thing you notice on the profiles.
Lucky for men, looks matter less for women than what you might think. So if conventional beauty is not a strength, make a solid profile description. Most women will like a profile that shows quiet confidence, humour to display intellect, and a show of humanity. And for the love of god, please don’t go on a political tangent-you’re there to get to know someone, not to go soapboxing.
[–]inline6throwaway -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You seem to have a problem with him wanting an upgrade as he put it. Basically what he's getting on the apps is outside of what is preference is. What's wrong with him aiming for what he wants?
[–]Basil_thebasilplant 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not a problem to have preferences. It's a problem when someone portrays those outside the target preference as a "down-grade," or "less than," like you'd be embarrassed to be seen with them. We are literal humans with feelings.
It's even more annoying when he admits that he could stand to lose 30 lbs. If he were a female, he'd probably turn himself down, and here he is wondering why no one whom he's attracted to wants to continue a conversation with him.
[–]CautiousSea4815 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Upgrading women isn't a very pleasant term, is her point, I think. It's his wording, not his aim. Read more. It will help you understand things that aren't right in your face.
[–]inline6throwaway 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Well see......I myself wasn't particularly bothered by his verbiage. There were probably some ladies who read his post who weren't bothered by it either. Sometimes this is the way people view dating prospects, whether male or female. I do notice that sometimes some women don't like when men express their preferences. This could be a case of hit dogs hollering. In regards to reading more, I don't appreciate the unnecessary snark, but whatever. It's ironic that you tell me to read more. And yet here you are, fixated on one word in the entire post, and I don't see you providing any kind of solution to his problem.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s okay to have preferences. Everyone has preferences but referring to people as an upgrade or a downgrade based on their looks is a shit thing to say- for both men and women.
Agree. I think what he means is he wants more options. Attractive people (men or women) usually have more options.
[–]Educational_Soup8845 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Seriously at 5'6" he's lucky he's getting any women at all. Some guys just aren't realistic in their expectations
[–]theKnightWatchman44 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not much taller than 5'6 and I've had success with women my whole life, height only matters on Tinder.
[–]SolidPuzzleheaded984 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All right first of all, the hot girls you want on apps are going for top 10% dudes.
You are 5’6, why would a hot girl go for that when they can get a 6’2 dude in a second?
So how do you upgrade ?
Well you need to be either rly good looking or rich/clouted.
And you are in a weird area (average) where the fat and ugly girls want you.
But the pretty fit girls don’t.
[–]Swoltergeist -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hop on testosterone to get more women, hop on test and tren to get all the women.
[–]Swoltergeist 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re a smart man. Honestly, just get the diet in check and lift. Don’t even waste money on supplements.
[–]Hister333 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Felonies and face tattoos.
[–]Think_History_5682 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Become more fit work out all the time...
[–]zapadz 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl_Olt7JOK8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cwxZUEf8fE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwzR7Rp6IWs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4Hp7PoZggw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBSeQXpE_Bw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3854ypakIc
[–]puremaddafty 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To be fair the majority of Americans are fat these days
[–]Jadiv 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not many people talk to big girls... So when they talk to someone they try to establish a real connection... Some might say we're desperate
[–]BrotatoJ 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If Tinder, delete and recreate every month instead of paying. Your score starts high and goes lower because 1) ugly women are more valuable online than anywhere else 2) appa don't work to get you married.
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Same height as you, man but I prefer bbw’s a new chubbier women. I could stand to lose about 30 lbs since I’m looking for a lean six pack ab look rather than a bulky look.
[–]Global-Bridge-6787 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It depends, man. I have a friend who is 6’ but he looks taller with a smaller frame since he went into a cut and maintained leaner muscle through calisthenics and no weight lifting. He’s still incredibly vascular and is a former personal trainer.
I think for shorter guys, lean muscle mass tends to work better; it makes us look taller but that’s just my bias and preference.
[–]Ron_Armweak1995 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go offline
[–]Alextryingforgrate 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Day game bud, get out on the street and go talk to everyone until you are able to chose the ones you want.
[–]Daygamesimplified 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Daygame
[–]Repulsive-Fee393 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you want thinner women (which every guy wants) then you’ll have to approach them in real life. Here’s a tactic to get in front of more babes, get a job as a bar tender, it works like magic.
[–]RastaPilot737 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Apps aré just so superficial, so use them to compliment your dating life. You re better off showing confidence and attracting fit women irl than trying for the same type of chick at a dating app.
[–]Dependent_Pattern_83 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You HAVE to go outside. I tell my luttle brother this all the time. He's 5'11", benches 275, with dreads, and still gets bbws online. I stopped wasting my time online years ago. I only approach in person.
However, if you got a big IG following that's a different story. If you are relying a on a literal dating app don't bother unless you have model-like photos or high quality photos that portrays a high quality lifestyle. Also bitches really read everything on your profile so you have to be a bit of a wordsmith and you'll STILL get matched with BBWs.
The reason why in person you get more choices is because you are giving women to experience you through other senses besides just looks. Your smell, voice, touch, can heighten her attraction towards you. Its STILL not easy, but it will help you break those barriers down.
I see indian dudes fucking kill it in NY once they get pass any limiting beliefs.
[–]SalamanderNo3872 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I tried it one time... never again.. the level of insecurity was off the chart and I found that if you are not physically attracted to someone then its never going to work.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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