Women I attract reflect on the type of man I am?

cobraCL · 2022-05-16T09:07:35+00:00

Absolutely true in my experience (inverse sexes). Not so much in the physical appearance sense, but absolutely in the mental and emotional areas.

The reasons can be very complex, but I find the following to be consistent:

We attract partners that treat us at our level of self-esteem. Lower self esteem individuals often land up with users and abusers, and this is why some people assert that "all men/women are shit" (not the truth, they simply keep on picking men and women who they allow to walk all over them).

A lower self esteem person might also settle for someone they don't find physically attractive because they don't have the confidence to pursue their actual type, which sets the relationship up for failure.

We subconsciously mimic the love dynamics we witnessed as children. After 3 years of dating my ex, we were essentially a replica of our mothers and fathers even though it was completely the opposite in our 1st year of dating.
According to attachment theory, if we had insecure attachments to our caregivers growing up, we tend to be drawn to partners who give us the LEAST of what we say we want. For example, an anxious person will likely go for an emotionally avoidant partner because as much as they crave intimacy, they are subconsciously terrified of being abandoned and therefore pre-empt it. An emotionally unavailable person might be drawn to a clingy person and proceed to push their partner away as they feel "trapped", but subconsciously crave openness and connection.

I feel that whoever we attract is the direct reflection of the cracks in our mental, emotional and social health. Hence the paramount importance of having a healthy self esteem and awareness of generational cycles before getting into a relationship.

Snakehead004 · 2022-05-16T12:32:33+00:00

Absolutely true. That's why I alwsys caution against the douchebag advice often found on this sub. Just be the best version of yourself and everything else will work out.

nbh1995 · 2022-05-16T09:52:35+00:00

Yep both but I would say mainly, mentally...if you are insecure you will attract insecure people. It doesn't apply only to women...watch your friends and how they behave. You know the classic "tell me who your friends are and Ill tell you who you are" phrase.

Emmy-bby · 2022-05-16T08:46:30+00:00

Yes it does. If u attract “crazy” women or women who are manipulative I can’t trust u too much. If u say every girl you’ve been with is crazy I’m out bc it probably wasnt her, the common denominator would be you. For the physical aspect women do date less attractive men from my experience, the women is usually like 2+ points above the mans appearance.

TheKindKroissant · 2022-05-16T07:38:00+00:00

True for me. At least personally, I get a bit turned off with a man who’s dated a certain “type of girl” 😌

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-05-16T08:44:00+00:00

Yes physically.

If you are unattractive then overweight and unattractive women will have interest.

Hot guys get hot girls. simple.

Due_Entertainment_66 · 2022-05-16T10:54:32+00:00

then i am nothing, finally i have achieved it.

MistyMaisel · 2022-05-16T15:21:08+00:00

I think this is generally true for all sexes and sexuality. Whether you're looking at attachment theory, love languages, or anything else, who we are attracted to and who we attract says a lot about who we are, where we are at in life, and what we offer. And typically also a lot about who your parents were, weren't, and the dysfunctional pattern they gave you as love.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-05-16T18:00:35+00:00

It more reflects on what type of girls you're into

dheidjdedidbe · 2022-05-16T13:19:42+00:00

Well I must not exist since I attract no one

BigChestCliff · 2022-05-16T13:56:26+00:00

I m say this. This quote is completely incorrect. And history bears witness to this. You should not believe everything you read on the internet.

2022-05-16T09:23:54+00:00

Yes. If you are a lazy redditor you will get no women (downvoot). If you are a hard working redditor you will get some women (updoot). Go get them redditurd.

ShameAffectionate15 · 2022-05-16T16:38:02+00:00

Ofc its not true. They have no idea who u are. its all looks and assumptions.

jjboy91 · 2022-05-16T19:21:28+00:00

What if you attract no one ?😅

gillmanblacklagooner · 2022-05-16T20:32:18+00:00

Common sense will say Yes because people will rely on how do you present yourself. But as we are all aware: humans are complex. There are tons of creepy negative people attracting good ones (and vice-versa). You might find liars, frustrated, weirdos… a lot of people arguing on both sides. As long as you are focused on yourself, you’ll find easier to attract the woman you like. It takes time. I’d say the type of man you are can help you to attract girls simillars to you.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-05-16T20:52:55+00:00

Yeah. Goes for your friends too. Like attracts like.

Title	Women I attract reflect on the type of man I am?
Author	Ninedropemoff
Upvotes	86
Comments	64
Date	May 16, 2022 7:34 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uqqcxq/women_i_attract_reflect_on_the_type_of_man_i_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/women-i-attract-reflect-on-the-type-of-man-i-am.1259508 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259508

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