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[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 134 points135 points136 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
If you're fucking new people just for the sake of fucking new people, you're right that your dating life probably won't magically become meaningful. You get out of it what you put into it.
I'm sleeping around plenty, but I'm also paying attention for signs of compatibility. When things look promising, I put in progressively more time and emotional investment to see if there's a chance at something deep.
The sex is great, but it's really just a consolation prize while I methodically pursue my long-term goal.
[–]honjowolf19 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I agree with you. I feel like I’m doing the same, just haven’t come across anyone slightly promising. I feel like the crowd where I live isn’t all that great. I miss New York sometimes because of the diversity
[–]Dazzling-Importance1 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why they downvote you I think your right.
[–]kuavi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Which one do you prioritize more? I'm assuming a relationship if you saw potential. Do you do anything differently because of searching for something serious? While experience dating casually has definite benefits for long term relationships, I wonder if the approach needs to be at least a little different. Kinda feel like I'm in the same routine and cant break free, ya feel me?
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
My general approach is the same with every woman. I focus on getting to know her and figuring out how well she matches up with my personality and life goals. If/when* I find a dealbreaker, I have an honest conversation with her about what's off the table and what (if anything) is still an option.
* So far there's always been a dealbreaker. Sometimes it takes years to find, sometimes only a few minutes.
[–]LucianU 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Have you looked closely at your dealbreakers? If it takes years to find, then it could come up at any point in your relationship. That means, you'll never be confident that you found someone you could commit with.
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I reexamine things all the time. I didn't end up in this sub by accident. I'm no rookie anymore, but I still have a lot to learn about myself and what kind relationship works best for me.
As for the time... I'm looking for a relationship that can last decades. Spending the first few years with an evaluating eye is a small price to pay.
[–]LucianU 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Can you give an example of something that would be a dealbreaker for you?
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
On the longer timeline?
Conflict resolution style and skills, which should be on everybody's list.
More specific to me, I care a lot about personal growth, particularly inner/emotional growth, so I need to see that she's willing to grapple with her feelings rather than shoving them in a closet.
[–]LucianU 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That makes sense. I wonder where you can find that kind of women that you also find physically attractive.
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same as anywhere else. In our society, women are generally much more in tune with their emotions than men, so I don't know why you'd assume they're hard to find. You just have to be patient enough to reject the ones that arent.
Personally, I've found that I'm physically attracted to a far greater range of women than my younger self ever would have imagined. Social conditioning is powerful, but brain chemistry is even stronger in the long run. If the relationship is strong, she'll always be beautiful to you, even as her body falls apart. The converse is also true... If the relationship is shit, even a trophy wife can become repulsive.
So... The physical appearance factor is great, but it's only temporary. The intangibles are far more important to me over the long run.
[–]onyxengine 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You’re addicted to the game OP
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I need to pull out of the matrix
[–]onyxengine 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe, maybe not. Grass is always greener as they say.
[–]Fit-Kaleidoscope-360 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
If you don't mind me asking, what would you say is the biggest contributor to your success with women? Like, what do you do that made it so you could sleep with so many of them over the years?
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (13 children) | Copy Link
I’m about to go to bed, but I recorded a quick voice note to answer your question… here ya go
[–]drueberries 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
After hearing your voice, it all makes sense now. Is your tone of voice something you have actively worked on?
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Yes, actually. I think I used to be very intentional with the way I talked until it became natural to me. My voice is probably the number one compliment I'd get from women. And whenever I met someone off a dating app, I'd move her to Instagram or iMessage, and near the beginning of our conversation I'd even send a quick voice note because it was easier for me to converse.
[–]Gamygyn 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If I may ask, did you undergo specific exercises to train your voice? I admit I really like the sound of it too, and am working towards reaching a similar calm in my own. I'm very curious about how you worked on reaching this voice of yours you have today.
[–]Amine654 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Any tips to have a voice as great as yours? You said you used to be very intentional with the way you talked, what were you focused on when talking?
[–]honjowolf3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Slow and intentional. I never wanted to seem rushed or talk fast. Slow and intentional allowed me to be careful with my words and have someone cling on every word.. I think a good example (although I didn’t reference him) is Harry Styles. Go watch his recent interviews
[–]Few-Solution3050 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
ngl I felt gay for 2 seconds while listening to this voice memo. Damn your dreamy voice OP!!
Edit: a bit late to the party to ask questions but just in short: 1. how do you manage to let so many women go without hurting their feelings (i.e. do you ghost them or are there other tactics involved?)
and 2. how do you have the mental capacity to chat with so many women? I swear my negligence to reply within a reasonable span of time cost me so many sure things and second lays
[–]honjowolf5 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
When I was much younger, I'd ghost women and I definitely hurt feelings. A handful of women became resentful, and would even spread rumors. I was young and dumb and naive. I'm older now so I'm all about open communication. The women I meet understand my personality and so they don't take it to heart if I move on. Besides, have you seen the texts I send to girls in the screenshots? I make sure I care. You have to be nice. And I always leave the door open...
I don't have the mental capacity to chat with so many women anymore. I don't have the time. So I definitely try to move quick after meeting someone— are you free tomorrow? this weekend? And that way you don't have to rely on text conversation. You both are looking forward to the dinner date where you can talk.
[–]Mcdz 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Nice response. Love seeing another Asian slaying.
Couple questions.. any tips or advice or books that helped you become more charming/better conversationalist? I feel like a lot of my convo is superficial and doesn't cut to deeper stuff, and in general is pretty flat.
Second, any tips for online dating profiles? Do you have professional or close to artistic photos? Or just a clever bio?
I think reading a lot of books and watching films helped me become a better thinker and conversationalist. And practice, practice, practice. I remember when I was younger, a goal of mine was to never talk about mundane shit like work or school. The conversation always had to be more than that.
Short and sweet bio with aesthetic photos on Tinder. Prompts matter more on Hinge and of course I included a voice note response lol
[–]hawkeye7120 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What’s your go to topics of conversation on the dates then?
[–]Kuroikigai 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro your voice is beautiful 😳
[–]5_7pickup 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good shit man. Happy to see another asian brother murdering the game.
[–]tylrsprs 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When it seems like every post here is either dudes who are too nervous to get within 10 feet of a girl or guys who think you have to remember 30 different things at all times to be successful with a girl, I really fucking respect you.
It took me a long time to realize it begins and ends with being a person.
[–]Phoenix-King77 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro fax. Its simple. Don’t over complicate it
[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are literally the definition of that meme: " Suffering from success by DJ Khalid "
[–]MikeAlphaGolf 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fucking multiple people is neither meaningful nor meaningless. It’s amoral. You’ll meet great people along the way, and you’ll meet a few losers. The advantage of doing this on the way to finding some life partner (if that’s the goal), is you’ll have the experience to know who is worth your time rather than latching on to the first girlfriend you have. You’re also more likely to be the chooser, which should be the goal of every man.
[–]honjowolf4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I appreciate you and your comment 🌹
[–]CenaSmackDown 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sexual desire can be like hunger. You fix it you fix it for a day and you're thirsty again soon. It's a bottomless pit
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
I'd love to share what's helped me. But more specific questions would be more useful!
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
It's hard being an introvert in New York. I was constantly exposed to interactions and it was convenient as hell to meet up with someone. It's like exposure therapy— you've just got to always put yourself in situations to overcome the thing you fear. As for height? I went out with a lot of taller girls... so I kind of said to myself, taller girls like you so it's all good. You can't be insecure about it. They'll be able to sense it. Confidence goes a long way. On Tinder I don't put my height, so at times I'd just joke around with taller girls and bring it up. I have my height up on Hinge.
As for money, women are attracted to men for what they have.. sure. But they're also attracted to men for who they could be. I think I've shown a lot of promise and competence. I take care of myself. And I actually landed my first 6-figure job 2 weeks ago too...
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I've heard it all...
A while back, I actually picked up a part-time job as a Host at a restaurant because I was tired of the corporate office. And girls would hit on me all the time. Here's some proof lmao: https://imgur.com/a/kbsQqD8
The one thing girls would mention was that they were intrigued by the way I carried myself and talked.... also wanting to know my skincare routine ahaha. Commanding presence in the room and gracefully carrying yourself wherever you are. It's something.
Also knowing how to be witty on the spot.
[–]PLEASEYALE_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The one thing girls would mention was that they were intrigued by the way I carried myself and talked....
How do you carry yourself and how do you talk?
[–]honjowolf1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Go look above the comments. I dropped a voice note
[–]revrev4405 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m 22 went on a poon rampage for a bit and got tired of it. Went 6 months without any and focused on myself. Best young self realization I’ve had so far
[–]SIV221 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Probably reached the same point Pook felt where sex and dating is just something on the side, a little spice to a life you are working with.
I can’t really give advice, not because my lack of dating or sexual experience, but there’s clearly a pursuit or enjoyment to meeting women and wanting to have sex with them. I don’t really have this innate desire to see women naked, or men for that matter, so there’s no magnetic pull to make me want to talk to them, flirt or have good feelings with them.
I guess, there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing. You do not stop enjoying and meeting other women if there’s no harm for you or them, and keep putting yourself out there in the hopes you meet the one. Long as you are healthy, not having pregnancy mishaps, keep running through them
[–]focus_flow69 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like you were living the dream for a long time with your travels and meeting women. It's fun, it's great to know you have the power to attract people and feel desirable. You should be absolutely proud and grateful to have these skills and expeirnece that you worked hard for. But like all things in life, too much of it can be a problem. There are very few things in life that don't follow this rule. Too much money, too much sex, too much women, too much food, too much partying etc. These are all considered perhaps pleasurable but maybe sinful things that make people happy and feel good in the short term. But some people also have too much of other things, that they may not even know about. You can have too much love where you begin to neglect yourself. You can have too much happiness where you become complacent and make no progress. You can have too much confidence that you begin to look down on others. My point is, through my life, I've learned that you must have balance. And from your post, it seems like you've certainly have had your fair share of fun, love, romance and sex with woman, and that's made possible because of the level of effort, focus and time you've put towards it. Again, it is something to be proud of because you have gotten great results and expeirnece from it. But now from your post, it seems like you are aware it is no longer serving you like it once did, when you first decided to get better with womem.In fact it may even be holding you back in life if you don't change. My suggestion is to think about where you are in life and to focus on other things in life instead of women. Explore some hobbies, dedicate yourself to something else. Create balance in your life, do other things. When the time is right or life happens, when you are no longer actively looking, you will meet someone special through just living your balanced life. And now with your confidence and extensice dating expeirnece attained, you've greatly increased the odds of attracting this person. That's my two cents from reading your post, hope it all works out for y'all
I appreciate you and your thoughts, man. Thank you. Seriously
[–]focus_flow69 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No problem, dm me if you want to chat or share more thoughts. I'm also a 5'8 Asian Canadian FYI if that matters LOL
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SexyNuggetz 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea pls teach me
[–]yotepost 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Time to trip balls fam
[–]Chicagoj1563 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What is your advice to most of the guys in this sub-reddit who want to improve their dating lives and are just getting started. So, they are ready to start going out, want to improve, take risks, challenge themselves, and generally work on themselves in this area.
What would you advise they do over the next 30 days?
[–]AloofusMaximus 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I can't get close to others. And the problem with treating other people as casual sexual partners is that I also treat myself that way, simultaneously. I’m clean (thank god). I’m healthy. I’ve somewhat got my shit together.
You can, you just don't want to. Also you don't HAVE to treat women or yourself that way either.
A part of me thinks, you know what? This will all change when you meet "that someone." But then the cynical part of me can't help but laugh. It's 4PM now and I've got to get ready for this date tonight..
A part of me thinks, you know what? This will all change when you meet "that someone." But then the cynical part of me can't help but laugh.
It's 4PM now and I've got to get ready for this date tonight..
You've already met "that someone" probably several times over.
So here's the thing I'm a bit older than you (39, almost 40). I have a higher body count than you, and I also have a very different approach mentally, than you.
When I was younger I was definitely hunting for unicorns. I wanted the hot chick that ticked all the boxes. I managed to land hot women, date them, and I was absolutely miserable. I thought it was them that I needed to be happy.
Once I crossed 30 (I think I was around 32) I had a failed engagement and decided to really look at myself. A few of the things i learned then was to be happy by myself, and not to waste time with women that either aggravated me or played games.
I'm 100% content by myself, so any woman I spend time with has to be better than that. My ONLY criteria for meeting women were/are... Have to be attractive, and I have to enjoy the time I spend with them. That's it.
Because I genuinely enjoyed their company, I was cultivating actual relationships (they were sexual too). I'm not ever going to be monogamous, it's not for me.
I do have a long term GF, we just had a baby together, and eventually I'll go back to having FWBs.
It's exciting getting to explore a new person, I get it. That doesn't mean it has to be empty or shallow.
[–]hawkeye7120 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Im curious how your long term GF will feel about you getting FWBs? Also do you think having a baby will interfere with your ability to get FWBs?
[–]AloofusMaximus 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I didn't lie to her about my intention to never agree to sexual exclusivity. I told her basically that I cared about her, that I'd like to continue seeing her, but I couldn't and wouldn't promise her monogamy. She knows I have had, and will again have regular FWBs. The main thing was communicating to her that I wasn't looking to replace her (and I'm not). Sex is much less of a big deal than a lot of people make it out to be.
Now not all women are going to agree to this, but I'm certain almost all guys are too afraid to try. My view on relationships is that they don't last forever. If this one doesn't work out I'll find another.
Also all of FWBs were aware that I had an LTR too. The last few FWBs I had lasted over a year each. Most of them have gotten themselves into long term mono relationships for the time being, that's just part of an it.
The baby makes logistics pretty tough now, which is why I'm really not seeing anyone else.
[–]thelambofdeth 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What is with all the trolling going on today? Smh
[–]honjowolf10 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Hey man. Looking through your posts, I can see why you’d comment something like this. Sending you blessings bruv.
Go read 12 Rules for Life
[–]ANightSentinel 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cope.
Seethe
[–]vin9889 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Ayeeeee Asian American getting it. What’s the demographic and what’s your style?
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (17 children) | Copy Link
When I was in New York, I mainly got together with a lot of Asians (Korean and Chinese Americans). When I moved back to Boston, it's been mainly White and Latina girls. And of course, when I travel to other countries it's whoever is there haha.
My style? I'd say my style is quite New York, if that makes sense...
[–]vin9889 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
If you could give a comparison, that would be cool!
But I understand if you don’t have time for that.
Would love to upgrade my style.
My style inspirations are Harry Styles and Kim Taehyung (V from BTS), but more so of their "classic" British style— not the flashy shit. Loose pants, long coats, blank tees, etc.
[–]vin9889 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m trying it out. H&M here I come
Shop at Uniqlo bruv
[–]vin9889 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cheers mate! Good to know
Please. H&M is fucking gross. Just buy your basics at Uniqlo and buy some nice things off Grailed.com
[–]Ace11791 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
What countries did you travel my man ?
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Tokyo, Hong Kong, Korea, Paris, London, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, Iceland, Switzerland, New Zealand, Brazil, Canada... still so many more places to see.
I'd say the places where I met the most women are:
London, Spain, and Canada
[–]Ace11791 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That very nice 😉 I livei n Paris but to get girls here is 10 times more difficult than any other city, it is not easy at all, any advice, I d love to talk more to you and get some advice, dating is not easy when you are 5'55",but I am not bitching, trying to do my best
Focus on improving yourself as an individual— take on more responsibility, straighten up your act, take care of your appearance and style, and learn how to communicate effectively.
What do girls in Paris find attractive in men?
[–]Ace11791 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I am working hard on that ☺️ everyday I try to better myself through working out, listening to self improvement material, all that I have working out for me is some money I have on the side that I can invest in myself once the pandemic ends, I can t even go for a coffe bcs of covid, or go to the gym, Wgat fucks me over is that I ve lived here for the past 6 years but still have an accent or I don't speakcthe language 100% clearly so I am working on that
I would say girls in Paris like a man with style, like nice clothes, a nice hair cut, nice beard etc
[–]honjowolf 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Watch films or shows that have the dialect or accent or language, and study that. Practice. You’ll be all right
[–]Ace11791 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank you, last year I slept with the most beautiful girls I ve even slept in my life, I think I am on the right path I just need some time, I am still young ( just turned 25) when I will be 29 I hope I will have everything togheder, thanks, best of luck 😁
[–]schebobo180 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just curious, is there any reason black girls arent on the list?
Is it population size/demographics, or just a general lack of attraction?
I'd say general lack of attraction. We all have our preferences. I've been with like 2 black girls before.
Funnily enough, black girls on Hinge match me like crazy.
[–]schebobo180 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Interesting. I've always found the generally reduced lack of interest from some white and asian men for black ladies (compared to other women) interesting.
I wonder if there is a genuine case to be made for them being actually less attractive, or if a lack of positive quality media coverage for black women (compared to other races) also contributes to this. Most likely the answer is somewhere in the middle.
Anyway thanks for the reply.
[–]VDKay 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
The fact that you care to post screenshot proof of chats, screams "Validation".
Something tells me that you don't value yourself a lot. Not many people do anyway. So you choose to get validation from the number of girls you are fucking. Almost all the beautiful girls I know, have this kind of lack of confidence and seek validation by screwing people left and right. People call them whores, but they are scared little girls to me
I'm not saying that it's bad to have many sexual partners. I'm saying that the problem comes from using them as "external" validation.
For sure, you hit it right on the nose.
But I also included screenshots because if I didn't, you'd probably be the guy saying I'm cappin and trollin ahaha. You can't win!
[–]NovaLachs 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
People that have actually slept with hundreds of women usually aren’t able to keep count buddy lol
iPhone notes. Also I said close to 200... that's nothing to keep track of
[–]NovaLachs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You care so much about your body count you keep it in your iPhone notes? You’re either a liar or extremely pathetic
[–]honjowolf0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The latter
[–]papaheinz 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Its a pretty real reward man. From your description everything is artificial
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]papaheinz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes but he isnt jerking off or anything. He bangs a real woman and gets the well deserved dope.
[–]papaheinz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But the op doesn't seem to be overly dependant on sex. Hes just having lots of it and thats finely awesome
[–]honjowolf2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thank you for the comment. I need a therapist. I should look into one for this year.
[–]Waterstick13 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You spend wayy too much time on this sub. Just fucking live your life man
I said I happened to stumble upon this sub. First time here. Never read it before<3
[–]slaybrownbeast 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am 25, never had relationship, never knew what it felt like to have someone who is not a sex worker crave your body. I am also Asian, and will be permanently living in NA. I have attributed my relationship failures to my face up until last year when I fixed it the best I could with oral surgery. And naturally after that, the concept of picking up girls came to mind and haunted me for months of insomnia. Fortunately, I met a 21 years-old mentor and I started my first serious pick up (I did pick up 8 times in Canada from 2018-2020), and for the last 2 months I picked up 100ish women with 12 contacts closed. Have not been able to ask one out yet. I am here to write about my past I guess just because I harbor a bit of resentment or bitterness reading your past, and a lot of regrets. I am not here to lament fate or call myself victim, and I am aspiring to keep picking up, even though I probably did not work hard enough, until I can have my first relationship. After All, i just really wanna experience once, what does it feel like to have sex with someone who wants sex with you?
And I cannot escape the thought that my constant failure had something to do with my face. But I know that is not true. Anyways, I guess I am just a bit bitter and we have very different problems.
[–]Frosty_Connection867 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't think I'm qualified to give advice since I've not necessarily been in your shoes but I tend to picture life as endless cycles of addiction, we are addicted to our phone, without it we get bored, we get addicted to drugs, without it we experience withdrawal, I feel for you your addicted to the pleasure of new sex and validation, I noticed as used to be addicted to youtube and validation through messages when I was young, but I went a month just doing a few consistent things, piano and working out (since I find with cutting things out in life) eping some passions gives your life purpose and I hadn't felt more at peace and grateful since then, now I guess I'm stuck in the cycle of seeking validation as well but it's hard to get back to simpler things since the pain of letting go is hard, but I feel you could try to experiment, maybe settle down with someone you find better than the rest or spend time alone for a month and see how you feel,
I appreciate the comment. It's awfully hard to come across someone I'd like to spend intimate time with, to be quite frank. I also see how easy it is for others to settle down quickly with whomever they come across and find even slightly attractive. I think the fear of being alone and perhaps not finding your "next lunch" gets to a lot of people.
[–]Frosty_Connection867 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol yeah a lot of people settle just cause they don't know that seduction is skill most guys are just horrible coz they have to learn it, I'm sure you already know what you want in a girl and know what the red flags are, it totally depends on you whether you want to start seeing the cool girls you've hooked up with more and see if there's a spark or just continue hooking up with new ones and seeing if any of em stand out
[–]MagicTsukai -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What are the differences you see when dating non-asian and asian women and in fornication?
I reckon it’s strange times for dating in general… just know you aren’t alone
[–]WillyM35 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you get that type of feeling you just gotta up your game.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]undernutbutthut 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
One of the reasons why I moved to Boston was to start trying to learn how to better talk with women, or anyone for that matter. Do you meet most girls online or in the streets?
All on tinder/hinge. For a while I was working part time as a hot at a dope restaurant just to socialize, and I was able to meet a lot of women there. I will say that New York is the better place for dating and talking to women
[–]PLEASEYALE_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For a while I was working part time as a hot at a dope restaurant just to socialize, and I was able to meet a lot of women there.
Can you PM me the name of the restaurant? I'm moving to Boston in May!
[–]somebodyDATEme 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Man how do you have time/money to be going out with someone every night? When do you go to the gym and work?
[–]honjowolf7 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I work 9-5 and I have the night for dinners, as well as the weekend. I run on nights when I’m free
Also… we make time for the tings we want 🌹
[–]AngeloMacon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You're the only one that can answer this. I mean, if it's more of an OCD thing where you're spending way too much time and effort? Or the validation thing... are you banging anything with a pulse or do you have standards? If you're banging a new cute girl every 3 or 4 weeks just by happenstance of going out and doing what you want, then more power to you.
I just left a comment elsewhere about time and effort. I move quick. I match a girl on Tinder? I'm asking her if she's free tomorrow or this weekend. People suck at texting and keeping up with communication. Just talk to her during dinner. The longer you take, the more likely she'll lose interest.
In New York, there's a lot of damn attractive women. In Boston? It just aint the same... but I definitely wouldn't smash someone I wasn't attracted to. She's gotta be cute at least.
[–]mimievarts 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not everyone can be as memorable as Naoko~
Have you seen the movie?
I love Kiko Mizuhara.. she's a babe
[–]mimievarts 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Makes sense that she would be. I haven’t seen it but I read the book :) Murakami is my favorite
[–]IamRocksteady 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How did you meet most of the women you dated? Bars, clubs, cold approaches during the day, online dating?
90-95% of women I met is probably online dating. And the women I met in real life were either at my fulltime job or when I worked at the restaurant part time.
[–]taisha2640 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Nice post! Respect for voice clip response. What's your workout routine and body shape like?
I just run. I'm slim. I take care of my skin with a goddamn routine every morning and night. Take care of your skin bruv
[–]taisha2640 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Got any principles to share about skin? It seems very individual to me. I have generally nice skin with no issues. But I'm quite dry and most things don't seem to make any real difference, or don't last. Should I just persevere and try new things?
Always try new things. Always. I tried everything and anything until I found what worked for me.
Wash>Toner>Serum>Lotion
Physiogel face cream and Anadalou products for toner/serum is what I use
[–]Paltenburg 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Good write-up, OP
What I never understand (in general, about this community): How come people can't seem to set new and improved goals?
I mean, shortly said, it goes like this:
Goal 1: Have sex with a girl.
For a lot people, this is enough to keep them busy. Some people don't succeed, some succeed sometimes, some struggle, some have moderate succes. Anyway, for these people, it doesn't need to go past "goal 1".
But others, like OP, seem to have abundant succes.
Now what I don't get, is that they also still stay with "goal 1", but then times 1000. And then it burns them out sometimes.
But surely, it isn't hard to raise your ambitions? Just go for threesomes (or orgies or whatever) right? I can imagine it gives you like a "fresh start" from doing the same thing over and over again.
Sex isn't my goal. I like connection. I like good conversation. I treat every person I'm with like they're the only one that matters. I don't get resentful if I don't bed her.
But it just so happens that the sex comes...
[–]Paltenburg 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don't you stay in touch with the women you meet?
Of course I do. I have them all on Instagram. I chat with them occasionally and see them whenever I fly back out
[–]jjboy91 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well damn...how can you meet so many people and still be searching for
[–]Zyt3chOG2 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How is your typical dating site bio?
On tinder? Short and sweet. Nice photos.
"Born in TK, lived in TK and TK. Always elsewhere."
On hinge? Nice photos, but the prompts matter. Girls typically match me on the prompt where I include my bucket list, the things I need to do before I die.
[–]Zyt3chOG2 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thx for the response
[–]PLEASEYALE_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
TK meaning Tokyo?
Oops sorry. I use TK as like a blank. It’s an editing thing… not tokyo
[–]dps15 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are you not scared of STDs OP? I’m scared of STDs
[–]cronasminate 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Written like the perfect post to get noobies to message you and be like “how did you do it?”
Of course you’ll be glad to guide them for a price amirite.
I don’t really get why you need to prove it, but more importantly, you think some ambiguous goodbye text prove anything.
Again, this seems so targeted toward impressionable young newbies.
EDIT: Also there seems to be a lot of posts just targeted toward asian Americans who are 5’7-5’8 some reason. I guess that’s where the money in pick up is right now.
Yikes.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Very inspiring story! I’m especially inspired by the fact you dated a model you met on Instagram. Hehe that’s my goal with this IG game stuff
It worked out cause I was slightly popular on social media as well. Times were different on ig though. You’ve got influencers everywhere now
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s sick though! Yeah times definitely were different back then. I’m currently working on Instagram game. I have just under 1k followers and I’ve gotten tons of models to respond. My eventual goal is to date one I met on Instagram.
I let go of the relationship once I realized I was with her only because she was physically attractive and we didn’t have any connection… I cared about her enough to end it. I knew she deserves to be with someone who actually connected and cared for her
[–]eiipaw 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This post seems like a big pile of random thoughts but written down nicely. I like it a lot, it shows a bit of your personality. It is refreshing to read something like this in the sea of "do this, be that" posts(not saying they are bad). It doesnt seem to have a clear point and still I can relate. So yea, thanks.
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