[deleted by user]

hazelxnutz · 2022-01-01T20:17:34+00:00

Tbh it depends a lot on the type of women you date. Girls that are looking for hook ups will 100% give you a small gap of time for you to make your move. Women that are looking for something more will usually give you plenty of time. I've been in both scenarios, girls I went out with looking for hook ups got literally offended when I rejected their advances to the point where I got blocked, others simply said "okay" and moved on the next dude. Girls looking for something more meaningful will 100% be okay with you not being ready for a sexual encounter, just dont take too long though. If too much time passes they will think you're not interested.

bcool_returns · 2022-01-01T20:10:21+00:00

A number of reasons:

Women are the receptive gender, and generally not the gender that initiates -- at least in heterosexual relationships. While us men often pedestalize this position, it does have plenty of drawbacks. One is that you're often waiting for the guy to act on something that you want to happen, that you clearly (but covertly lol) have communicated that you want to happen, but don't feel fully empowered to act on yourself. So on the heels of a missed window of opportunity or several, you start to become disappointed and even downright annoyed. You start to resent the guy even. Or maybe you just create a more flattering narrative like "maybe he's just not the right guy for me after all", or "maybe that date I had the other day wasn't even that good"... and then you move on. Believe it or not, women don't take rejection (or perceived rejection) all that well either.
Genuine desire involves urgency. You meet. You connect. You escalate. It all needs to be wrapped in a coherent story that is escalating and deepening. There would be no point of a romance novel if you went from page 5 to page 30 and then all of a sudden found yourself back on page 5. Or stalled out on page 30. Just as with point #1, you might start to question if the book was actually that compelling after all. Then you'd click that Amazon refund button lol.
You're competing against other men and other narratives. If you're not stepping up to the plate, another guy will, from her past, present or future at some point. This is where the abundance that many women have comes in. You're also competing against her prior experiences with men she found compelling and who likely made things happen within a narrow window. These are the men she found attractive. And if you're not steering the ship in that familiar way, well, you must not be That Guy for her.

That said, this is nothing to get upset over, nor are some of these things unique to women. I've learned similar (painful) lessons in my career. You can demonstrate as much enthusiasm in your follow up email after a job interview as you want. It doesn't matter if you didn't demonstrate competency and interest when you were in that room in that moment. That was the honest signal. Period. Overall, women teach you about the importance of capitalizing on the moment and acting on a window of opportunity with genuine interest and ACTION.

sunkized · 2022-01-01T20:36:58+00:00

More options now. My grandma married my grandpa because he built a house. That's all you had to do before the tinder

Snadderloffen · 2022-01-01T20:42:27+00:00

You should date more than one woman at once.
You need to build the sexual tension before the date.
If you do not make the move, someone else will do it.
If it's been three dates, she is definitely interested in you, So u have nothing to lose.
If you do not make the move, you put your self into the friend-zone.

Ivabighairy1 · 2022-01-01T20:55:05+00:00

Because they can.

DHSmith99 · 2022-01-01T17:40:41+00:00

Because women wants a guy who knows how to make the move otherwise shes just wasting her time and she finds a new guy who knows how to move things forward, but she doesnt want to come off as easy so you need to learn how to handle her concerns when she tests you.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-01T17:29:02+00:00

Women judge men's sexual fitness based on their behavior. If your behavior signals that you are a shy, timid guy, then it is the equivalent of a chick being fat and gross, ie unattractive. Women are turned off by men who don't make moves. Like literally turned off. They think something is wrong with them and they are either being rejected or that you are a pussy and they don't want a pussy because they already got one.

Lostkin1993 · 2022-01-01T21:55:42+00:00

Because it's boring. She wants a Man. Not some frightened dude who's afraid to say what he wants. I mean for pete's sake you guys matched on a dating site, and you're going to take 3 dates to even kiss her? If she wasn't interested she wouldn't have gone out with you.

Women would rather a guy with some balls who take a risk than a timid chump. It'll dry her all the way up.

I'm speaking generally of course.

monstawonder · 2022-01-01T22:46:50+00:00

Well... I guess it's because nowadays, women have a lot of abundance... If you take too long to take action, another guy will do that, and he will "win".

anothersadthrowaway- · 2022-01-01T18:06:54+00:00

Am a woman, I have never done that. I had almost ten dates with my fiancé before we ever did anything and it didn’t make an ounce of a difference because sex isn’t everything.

Everyone is different. Not all of us do that

RomanH101 · 2022-01-01T19:35:01+00:00

1) Because the likelihood that you’re the only guy she’s going on dates with is slim to none.

2) It shows lack of confidence that you won’t escalate when she’s showing you clear interest.

Don’t believe anything else being said here, those are the two real reasons.

Listen, women have options. On social media they’ll get 100s of DMs a day, they are constantly having their attention occupied. If you don’t make your move quick (when and ONLY when she’s giving you indicators of interest) someone else will.

However if a woman isn’t show you interest early on that you can use to escalate, it means she’s not into you so DO NOT waste any more time.

With women its a numbers game, the quicker you can walk away from women who show low interest the more likely you are to meet a bunch of women who like you and want to sleep with you as soon as possible.

At that point its on you to have the balls to lead her towards the desired outcome.

jjboy91 · 2022-01-01T20:18:07+00:00

I wasn't aware they were open to it before the 4th date 😅

MartMillz · 2022-01-02T00:11:28+00:00

Probably because they have more suitors than free time.

Forget sex, there is no time constraint on sex. But if you can't lunge in for a kiss within 2 dates, it's either not meant to be or you are your own problem.

business2690 · 2022-01-01T23:09:46+00:00

cause women's biological clock is ALWAYS ticking

VorpalPaperclip · 2022-01-01T23:45:59+00:00

Going for what you want displays confidence. Taking a long time shows fear or perceived as indecision.

She sees is as insecurity or disinterest. Neither are attractive and she can’t trust you if you are afraid or she doesn’t want to go out with someone that isn’t crazy about her.

Tremaparagon · 2022-01-01T20:59:57+00:00

Bruh 3 dates? I'd kill for that much of a window of time. The last dozen phone numbers I've gotten from daygame over last few months had a "window of time" of 2 texts in, after she says she can't make my first suggestion, just stops responding altogether, the end

Frankly, I know the idea is to just shotgun approach and use statistics in my favor, and deciding to ghost early is their prerogative, but this is maddening long term, over time it's like all starting interactions are some kind of matrix simulation and the person doesn't exist afterwards

ChicoBrillo · 2022-01-01T18:52:08+00:00

People are different. There’s also asexual people who will basically never have sex with you unless under perfect circumstances, there’s also people will have sex on the first date. There’s no one size fits all

StacksFifthAve · 2022-01-01T22:21:14+00:00

Simple.

The average decently attractive girl, before COVID anyways, couldn’t go outside without someone or few shooting their shot everyday. And, that’s not even accounting for all the guys on social media around the community trying to get at her through those mediums. If she’s “single”, she’s probably got a guy or two that she’s already dealing with who is taking up the majority of her headspace. After that, she’s got a guys she already knows and doesn’t know jockeying for position.

When you’re on the outside trying to get in, it’s not going to be comfortable. Her attention span is very finite, so you’ve got to make your best move.

Mysterious-Pipe-617 · 2022-01-02T00:20:26+00:00

bruh three dates is a longggg time to escalate. always aim for the first date lay. if youre hesitant youre unconfident and they hate that shit so just escalate cause you a man g. if youre worried about getting rejected you already lost. realize the rejection is not you but the situation and adjust behaviors accordingly for the next woman you take out. improve improve improve

Ordinary_Yam1866 · 2022-01-02T03:13:08+00:00

Rejecting the guys before they reject them

Asleep-Somewhere9934 · 2022-01-01T19:50:14+00:00

My first bf took a long time to make a move. I mean he did give me a very quick kiss after meeting up with him a few times but I don't think opinion applies to many women.

I would wanna feel desired so many that's the place those women your talking of are coming from.

Dating rules are sometimes so old school,like waiting for 3 days after q date before texting each other or playing mind games, people need to stop lol

manofnoego · 2022-01-02T09:49:14+00:00

bc they're insecure, dummy. they want security and they want a man to want her and want to take care of her, so if at the beginning a guy is already showing that he's unsure of what he wants, or isn't capable of delivering what she wants, how could she trust him to provide the only thing that which she ever needs?

you either want her or you don't. you either act on it or you don't. it's not about how you analyze how to make a move, and how good of a move it's going to be thanks to that analysis, it's about whether you are willing to act on it or not, for her sake. and even then, it's up to her to decide if you are worth it. guys who want her are a dime a dozen, and guys willing to make a bet for her are aplenty. if she's smart, she won't pick anyone just barely making the cut over the rest of the competition, and the only reason she won't go for the highest bid if she doesn't go for it, will be if she isn't confident enough to compete for him.

if we are to compare the seduction game to a hunt, then it's better if guys don't think of themselves as the predator. it's a hunt for mates, not for meat, and all mate-hunters have equal rights at selecting their partners. she enjoys the hunt, too, you know.

and it's a fair kind of a deal. if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. and it's alright, too. boys: knowing yourself wins you the first half of the battle. when you know who you are and what you want, you stop wasting anyone's time and just have fun.

remember, seduction is about fun. if you yourself aren't having any fun in the first place, how could you ever share it with anyone else?

when i'm having fun, i can seduce you into my world. what will you do to make your world stand out so much and brimming with so much joy that i'd like to take a visit in it?

it's difficult to hold back a giggle the moment you begin to see it. so let's take another look. i mean, later, when you're done thinking long and hard about it, and when you're done being too hard on yourself.

so first, you might want to take a break and relax. now is the time.

westsan · 2022-01-02T10:28:10+00:00

You have to overstand, Women are on dampening mode right now.
Out of a 28day cycle they are only free 2 of those days are they in their natural states. The rest of the days they are regulated. It prev nts them from going into heat. If the 🌕 crashes they will be sexually released. But until then

Thats why women have no resolve IMHO.
So if you miss that timing they'll just keep fluttering around 🦋🦋🦋

caesarfecit · 2022-01-01T19:14:08+00:00

Because every woman knows what it's like to chase after a guy who's just not that into them or be taken for granted.

They fear and loathe that as much as men fear rejection and humiliation.

The other element of it is that at the current moment, the dating market is somewhat skewed in favor of women, so they can afford to dump guys who don't seize the moment, because they've got no shortage of choices and sooner or later some guy will.

The pendulum will swing back sooner or later, but for now that's the current meta, and your choices are adapt or be a wallflower.

So much of dating from a man's POV is honestly just being properly socialized and being willing to put yourself out there. Having a thick skin helps too.

MentalCelOmega · 2022-01-01T21:17:34+00:00

Same reason why human resources spends about ten seconds looking at your resume, because they have so many options so even if you do not impress, there's always the next one.

Mmatthew93 · 2022-01-01T19:35:52+00:00

Women wants, women do, women say. The problem is that some men do not act as they want and wait to understand "what women want", and get nothing as a consequence. For girls don't want insecure men that think like that, and if they want them it is only to play with them, or beacuse they are so insecure they feel safe around an insecure guy. Women are not bancomats that open their card slots only after 4:13,6pm and if you push certain buttons in a specific combinations.

RPslimjim · 2022-01-01T19:48:51+00:00

Women want you to lead and make the first move. Be physical from the beginning and get her in your frame. If I don’t have sex with a girl by the 3rd date, I give her the boot not the other way around.

CreeknAndKraken · 2022-01-01T20:05:46+00:00

Cause they’ve got options

kraemoprana · 2022-01-01T20:37:42+00:00

Times have changed from back in the day man, I was born in ghe 90s and it was slower back then. Now things are different, social media, phone etc made things faster. But hey, as long as you got game it doesn't matter if things are slower or faster am irite ;)

HyakuShichifukujin · 2022-01-01T22:17:27+00:00

Every remotely cute girl on the market today has approximately 180 options, if you don’t move fast one (or five) of the others will.

Why don’t you frame this the other way: moving fast is now so normal, that getting to sex in zero to two dates is not difficult. I’ll take that any day over the 1950s model of ten dinner dates (that you pay for) before any clothes (maybe) come off.

pialox · 2022-01-02T05:41:46+00:00

Women are impatient and get bored easily because majority of them are boring themselves.

Hence why you still see tinder profiles to this day with "entertain me"

upalse · 2022-01-02T07:30:18+00:00

It's fast food, not a cookout.

IntimacyAdvisor · 2022-01-01T17:41:05+00:00

She wants to know you’re ready to go at a moments notice. She is judging how much action she is going to be getting from you. If you’re a lame she’s going to go get it from someone who wants to give it to her. Don’t be rude or pushy, just communicate, and be direct.

Women like money, time is money, don’t waste a woman’s time.

It’s not supposed to make sense. They all want to be hit on until they get hit on then it’s ew grows you’re hitting on me 😂

Make bold moves don’t be shy she’s grown.

cormacru999 · 2022-01-02T02:34:40+00:00

First, its important to remember that even your experiences & similar comments online does not equal Women Do This. Women are many & varied & all have their own desires, plans & reasons for their choices & behavior. And a big factor of YOUR experience is YOU. You affect the people you spend time with & just because a woman acts one way with you, that doesn't equal that she does that same thing in all cases. Its just as possible for a woman to have in her head a plan of action that she's been committed to for a while but something about you makes her change her mind.

And like someone else said some women want to have sex, some want to wait, though I disagree with them that women who want more will always wait & women that want to have sex early must not want anything further, again, people are complicated.

The other important thing is stop sitting in your head wondering what they want or what they are thinking. TALK. Communicate why you're dating, what you're looking for, what you are not looking for. Instead of keeping everything in, talk it out. You'll either meet someone & have a good experience because everyone knows what's happening or you're clear up very quickly that you're not compatible.

sh1ftyswar · 2022-01-01T23:21:34+00:00

Idk but guys need to learn how to test the damn water.

Find some way to make non creepy contact and you should be able to tell. That's always been my go to to figure out what's up. Body language in that situation is a tell as well. I could probably write a paper on this but fuck I'm beat

Slyvid-19 · 2022-01-02T00:06:26+00:00

Simply cause the pnani / pssy can only stay wet or drip for a certain guy for a certain period of time and not forever.

DaburuKiruDAYO · 2022-01-02T00:24:56+00:00

Because we have a lot of options, and if it feels like someone is wasting our time, we drop them. Supply and demand, blah blah.

Copper_Tweezers · 2022-01-02T01:16:52+00:00

ADHD

frp33 · 2022-01-02T08:36:13+00:00

Cause when u hesitate u show them you are not a man. They are attracted to dominant and confident people

recyclablebanthas · 2022-01-02T11:50:11+00:00

1

It's common where a guy will go out with a woman for 3 dates, and if nothing sexual happens, she gives him the boot even though she was originally really interested in him.

Let's back the train up here and establish a couple things:

Social interactions are complicated and often difficult to get a grasp on as far as what's happening. It can take years to get a basic understanding.
The preconceptions and mindsets that people bring into social interactions have a way of influencing or biasing the outcome without them realizing it.

For example, if someone has a resting face that looks mean, that can affect and even limit what's possible in a social interaction for someone.

To such a person, they will say that being rejected or left out is common. But with some adjustments, a whole other set of possibilities could very well become "common."

The point is that, without knowing what's going into the equation for you personally, it's impossible to know how you might be influencing what's "common" for you.

But I can't tell you that if a girl is actually interested, they will not act as you've described here. If a girl is acting like what you describe here, then you made mistakes you didn't realize at some point.

2

So why do women just give a small window like that? Like why does a man not making a move by the 3rd date cause women to 100 percent lose interest?

I will say, if a girl is looking for a casual sex and the guy doesn't pull the trigger sooner rather than later, than of course she's going to bail.

I've shut things down on women before when I realized I wasn't feeling it or they were looking for something different than I was. That's just how dating works. If things don't line up, one or both people will stop.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	273
Comments	101
Date	January 1, 2022 5:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rtnuwc/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1269885 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269885

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