How do you learn to get over rejections?

DukeCanada · 2019-01-18T19:42:38+00:00

Ignore picking up for a second - this has nothing to do with that. A rejection isn't about you, not really. Someone didn't express interest in you, that's all you know. There's a thousand reasons that could be the case, and you don't have control over all of them. So why worry about what you can't change?

You're going to have to learn to like yourself. It's hard, you can't do it all the time - especially if you're prone to anxiety or depression. But in general just do something every day that makes you feel good. Examples:

Get a haircut
Go to the gym
Grab a drink with a friend
Read a book
Buy a new shirt
Put away a little money
Learn something new

It doesn't have to be crazy. Just slowly do enough things to build yourself up that so that when you get rejected the automatic response is not "What's wrong with me?", and instead "that's too bad because im a great guy".

Nobody's perfect. Everyone gets a little upset & whatnot after a rejection. The trick is in moving on and not being resentful.

1hazelfears · 2019-01-18T20:25:02+00:00

Get rejected more. You'll realize how insignificant it is and how little it matters.

K3wp · 2019-01-18T19:22:58+00:00

Learned this the hard way. I know you feel that you are dead to the world and just want to be alone. Curl up and die.

Don't.

Get up, get showered, get dressed and go out. It's amazing how fast this blows the cobwebs out.

wheat_blazer · 2019-01-18T19:30:49+00:00

What if you want to pet a dog and he runs away? What if you try talking to a child and it just starts screaming. Do you get bitter because they don't like you? Of course not. You just move on and accept it as it is without reflecting it back to you. The same should apply to woman. Some like you some don't.

EminemsMandMs · 2019-01-18T19:19:31+00:00

You do one of two things:

You fail enough times that you go stir crazy and drive yourself to insanity. Your depression never leaves and you're stuck in an infinite void of despair forever.
You do what the majority of other people do and learn that there's not enough care in the world to worry about it. It's a part of life and rejection is only one of the small difficulties you'll face in life. Take the failure as a positive EVERY SINGLE TIME. Even if it's nearly impossible to see it, the positive is always there.

I'm not the best guy at seddit. But I've learned to just not care about rejection. I'd rather be happy and single than bang a new chick everyday or be in a relationship that I ultimately don't want. Live your life, do the things that you love to do, and if you find someone along the way, then that's just an added bonus. If you find someone along the way and they reject you, then just know that they were never meant to share this journey with you. It's cliche, but it really is a journey. Care about the people who want to be apart of your journey and you'll quickly learn to forget about the ones that don't.

Double_Lobster · 2019-01-18T19:47:54+00:00

So one you need to recognize that you are out of control of your own thoughts and you are torturing yourself. You need to get control of them. Try meditation.

Recognize that those girls who reject you - they're the ones who are losing. Consider how much effort you are making for self improvement and then consider how many girls complain about boyfriends who never work towards self improvement. They just almost had the opportunity to have your attention and they missed out! Sucks to be them lol glad you didn't have to waste more time on someone so uninteresting.

More importantly you need to start to wearing those rejections as a badge of pride. The prize is the prize because it takes getting bruised to earn, nothing risked nothing gained. Personally when I go out I tell myself "I'm gonna get rejected 10 times tonight." The first two are always the most painful. After you collect a couple it's much easier to hit a stride. I almost never get to 10 rejections before things just start flowing.

Share your rejections with your friends and laugh at yourself. "Dude I just embarrassed the shit out of myself haha! I tried to talk to this girl and she was just NOT into it! I could barley speak." If you don't have anyone to do that with right now you need to recruit yourself a wingman.

HeavyMeringue · 2019-01-18T18:17:13+00:00

You realise that she is gone and after you let that sink in,you go out with another girl/woman.

grate314 · 2019-01-18T20:14:30+00:00

What you need to do is seemingly simple, but actually very difficult to pull off. You'll have to remind yourself every time it happens, until you internalize it. You simply need to remove your ego from the equation using an extra layer of abstraction.

Think of this scenario: there's a man standing in the middle of a mall/grocery store/college campus/insert public forum here and he's selling newspapers/credit cards/you get the idea. He tries to sell you his product and you politely decline/tell him to fuck off/pretend you didn't hear him and shuffle off.

What's important is that you haven't rejected him, personally, you've rejected his product. What he's selling. You probably don't even remember what he looks like.

These types of jobs are difficult at first. No one wants your goddamn paper, man! Eventually, however, he builds an armor and stops taking it personally. After a while some baby boomer will stop and talk to him and buy the Sunday edition. This builds his confidence and as a result his salesmanship improves. He sells more papers, or whatever.

Talking to girls is exactly the same. They aren't rejecting you, they don't know you. They're rejecting what you're selling, your product, your salesmanship, if you will. Rejection is an important part of the process. Take every rejection and learn from it. Calibrate. Improve your game.

fqGmUjDT2GCAmFqN · 2019-01-18T18:23:16+00:00

You don't give a fuck. She isn't into your. You don't give a fuck. You move on and approach the next hottie. Period

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2019-01-18T22:13:05+00:00

Listen to me

There are a million reasons for girls leaving you in the clu (oyfriends, periods, friends, cat died, grandma died, leaving tomorow)

She dosn't know you you yet - Its not on you at all

Just HAVE FUN - OFFER FUN AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN

farts-on-girls · 2019-01-19T00:44:53+00:00

What’s even more emotionally wrenching is when shes gorgeous, acts like she’s really attracted to you all night, having a great time, then flakes and u never see her again ughhhh

About getting rejected in the moment I just find it funny and laugh at their poor social skills

guimafelipe · 2019-01-18T18:47:19+00:00

The same way i get over things that dont go well on other aspects of my life. Just try to do my best next time and have fun

2019-01-18T18:11:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

codewizbambam · 2019-01-18T21:50:09+00:00

Mindfulness meditation helps a lot. You can learn to flush stuff off your mind way quicker with it. It's what a lot of guys get to after a long way through painful experiences. You can, in a pretty short timeframe, get to much more inner peace and get rid of all the vicious thought circles you get from such.

A good introductory read is "Tranquil Mind" by Rob Nairn, look on amazon.com, there's an affordable version somewhere (there's also a version of it that is for collectors nowadays, it's the first issue and worth a few hundred bucks, in case you stumble across a terribly expensive book).

spineofgod75 · 2019-01-18T19:28:43+00:00

Can't let it get to you. You tried, got rejected, so move on.. Believe me I know it's discouraging but everyone gets rejected.

SmashBrosNotHoez · 2019-01-18T22:58:44+00:00

I know rejection hurts, I know you can oftentimes feel like nobody can ever like you.

But I want you to understand something, if the pain of rejection is acute, then the pain of regret is chronic.

Think about all of the women you have ever crushed on, all of the women you were attracted to, all of the women you ever fantasized about being with, but you didn't do anything about it. You were too scared to walk up to them, to ask them out, you let them walk away from your life forever, never to be seen again. And months later, you contemplate what might have happened had you of just taken that chance. You could have asked for her name, asked for her number, asked her out on a date, now the only question you'll ever be asking is what if?

Don't see rejection as a failure but rather as a form of relief. You no longer have to contemplate whether or not she likes you or not, now you are a free man. Sure getting rejected hurts, but now you can move on, you no longer have to waste your time. And in the chance that she says yes if you ask her out, who knows maybe she will be the love of your life (or at least your love for one night).

But if you never take that chance, never ask for her name, never ask for her number, never ask her out on a date, the only question you'll ever be asking is what if?

traceviral · 2019-01-18T18:09:32+00:00

Still figuring this out. Standard, dont take it personally, fuck another girl, etc.

fqGmUjDT2GCAmFqN · 2019-01-18T19:35:29+00:00

Don't shit where you eat, and u be goo

Frya · 2019-01-19T02:48:07+00:00

- Be more attractive (LMS). Increase it.

- Be hyped about your actions, not their reactions. You can't control how they react. You can control how you maintain eye contact, how you approach, what you say, and how you touch... Be hyped about the man you are, about your bravado, about your style, about the fact that most men are passive and you are creating opportunities.

- You already are approaching girls. The world is yours. Keep at it.

Haducken · 2019-01-20T04:55:09+00:00

Remember, it's always better that you at least tried and failed, then to have not tried at all. Sure, rejection might hurt temporarily, but you'd be kicking yourself for a lot longer if you never even talked to her.

-Maksim- · 2019-01-18T19:50:32+00:00

I go for a run with slipknot playing nice and loud.

intercitty · 2019-01-18T20:24:14+00:00

She was the wrong girl to hit on. Women have mindsets that vary.. sometimes from one minute to the next. You were spitting game at a girl who didnt want it. Possibly at all that day. Or you did a poor job of snapping her out of what her brain was thinking about all day... Chat up girls that are chattable.

BigDickEnergy123 · 2019-01-18T21:08:05+00:00

Rejection used to make me feel super depressed/sad.

Then I had a relevation. Anytime I've ever been depressed over a girl rejecting/leaving me I've always found another girl.

Sure, it hurts, but I remind myself of that and try not to let me being depressed ruin my next chance.

She's just another girl, bro. (That song always helped to for some reason.)

petriomelony · 2019-01-18T22:17:10+00:00

Frame them as positive. 1 rejection = 1 more girl that you filtered out who wasn't right for you. Also if you did something wrong, learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them.

ltdemon · 2019-01-18T22:23:15+00:00

I just deal with. Did not work out with the first one, might work out with the second one or third or fourth. I dont make a big deal out of it.

Trick is just to not make much of it. You are at bar/party? Go have a drink with one of your friends or someone else random. At a public place? Go do some errands you need to get done. Just move on with your life, no need to get hung up on a single rejection.

Lose the motivation to try again for days/weeks? Use that time to better yourself: gym, work, study etc.

brethrenelementary · 2019-01-18T22:26:50+00:00

I think of it like working out. Every rejection is like pain you go through with every rep, until you finally can do a full set of heavy weights. Then later on, you see the results on your body.

Every rejection gets you closer to your goal, and every guy has to suffer through them to get there.

Wet_Walrus · 2019-01-18T22:41:27+00:00

It's a low self-esteem issue. Confident guys know they'll be fine whether the girls like him or not.

Think about this way - you were just fine before you me her, so you'll be fine when she's gone.

InOurMomsButts420 · 2019-01-18T23:05:28+00:00

Get rejected again.

Sandvicheater · 2019-01-18T23:07:48+00:00

Do I get butt hurt or depressed when a job offer comes back with a no? Nope! I keep applying and drive full steam ahead.

chron0_o · 2019-01-18T23:13:04+00:00

You have to base your own opinions of yourself off of other things.

You’ll never truly numb that rejection pain, but if you find other things in life to be proud of, other than the latest feet you could potential sweep, all you have to do is remind yourself you have other friends, hobbies, goals etc that keep you going.

And that confidence is attractive as fuck. Another girl will be wanting to talk to you before you can even get over the last.

Khower · 2019-01-18T23:17:07+00:00

Invest in yourself. If you’re reading books, working hard on your school or career. Pushing yourself on the daily. Eventually You’re not going to have the mental capacity to give a fuck if a woman rejects you. It’s really hard to give a fuck when you’re reading self help/philosophy books everyday, working on your job and overall just getting shit done. You have so much else in your world that’s more important
Keep pushing. The more you get rejected the more you’ll realize it’s not a big deal
Don’t focus on the outcome. Focus on your actions, when you fuck up. Work on it. When you do well, analyze how you did well and work on repeating the things that went well.
Believe in yourself bro. I see so many guys in here that just lack self believe and confidence and that’s the main thing holding you back

chaar__log · 2019-01-18T23:17:13+00:00

I can totally understand even everyone will advice you that Don't take it personally or just let it go. I know it's very hard to do any of those things. But you gotta stick . I also think the more value you think a girl has the more it will hurt to get rejected. So I just think nobody is better than me and it works for me.

JustAteSomeReddibles · 2019-01-18T23:17:20+00:00

Well pick up just like any other sales job. You're going to have between 20 and 30% close ratio. That’s pretty much all across the board in the sales field. Picking up women is really no different. I’m a car salesman. I walk out on the lot and approach people who are looking to buy cars. But I still I get rejected 70 to 80% of the time. This is no different than women. So you just have to consider it a numbers/closing game. You got to talk to 10 women.. seven of those or eight of those are going to reject you so go ahead and get those out-of-the-way and know that you got the one-three girls that are waiting to say yes to you.

Jacob_961 · 2019-01-18T23:20:26+00:00

You shouldn't care if she doesn't like you. You don't lose anything if she doesn't like you. You had 0 girls before talking to her and you had 0 girls after talking to her. There is no loss in this situation so don't care about it. Most girls will not like you as you don't like most girls. You are rejecting 80% of the girls you don't approach. The girls are not butthurt you didn't approach them so don't get butthurt when a girl is not interested even if she genuinely didn't like you for who you are, like a real rejection. It's fine. You have 0 girls before the approach and you had 0 girls after the approach. It's all good. Success is determined by whether you tried or not. That's all.

guero511 · 2019-01-18T23:27:18+00:00

Just don't care. People are trying to overcomplicate it, telling you go out and work to keep the rejection off your mind. To me, that's putting in too much effort to get over some shit that doesn't matter. There's gonna be a lot of girls that don't wanna fuck you in life, can't go caring about all of them.... Or any of them for that matter

Funkimonkey · 2019-01-18T23:59:43+00:00

1) Practice 10X more than you are now and get rejected a lot more

2) View rejection as a learning process (like dying in a video game and respawning - you don’t get sad, you just try again)

3) Getting help and insight to improve. Rejection without improvement is what causes devastation. You need incremental success to keep positive and see that rejection is worth the effort.

BonvivantNamedDom · 2019-01-19T00:38:48+00:00

Fuck youre good at sorting out the ones that dont fit. Imagine how bad it would be when you only realise they dont like you after weeks! Some women are fucking polite and you dont know anything!

doesntfukchickens · 2019-01-19T01:42:23+00:00

Embrace rejection. It's a numbers game. anyone grabbing their friend isn't the one for you anyway.

CollaterLDamage · 2019-01-19T02:10:44+00:00

if you think a girl is uninterested, why not have fun?

next time you think youre in a dead conversation, start making things up. step back for a second and say "fuck it, time to entertain myself". it'll take you out of your head and make it that much easier to talk to the next person.

Dr_4gon · 2019-01-19T02:42:40+00:00

Treat it like falling off a horse. If you fall and don't get back on immediately, it will be way harder later on to rebuild that trust in yourself to get back on. Same here. If you get rejected and think about it too much, don't. There are around 500 million girls in your age, she's not "the one and only".

thesaunaking · 2019-01-19T02:45:40+00:00

Saves me time from investing in someone that isn’t invested in me. I’m good with it.

Wokemane · 2019-01-19T03:00:35+00:00

Focus on yourself and own goals..also start having Abundance mindset for everything in life tes even woman and trust the process you will get a girlfriend or sex eventually never stop trying it will happen unexpectedly when you stop your desperation.

Zero36 · 2019-01-19T03:06:07+00:00

Live for the rejections. It only makes you stronger. When I go out my goal isn’t 10 numbers. That’s the wrong mindset. It comes from a neediness mindset and bad inner frame. You’ll be frozen in going up to girls in fear of rejection. My goal is 50 rejections. Then every girl becomes an opportunity. I don’t purposely try to get rejected, I’m saying rejection is an acceptable outcome. Then 1/10 or something will show interest and you get a couple numbers. Much better approach then being in fear of rejection. Embrace it.

GeeOKeem · 2019-01-19T03:41:44+00:00

abundance mentality. get rejected 100 times and the hundred and first one wont feel as bad

AsurasPath23 · 2019-01-19T03:58:37+00:00

I love getting rejected more than getting her details actually. I love a challenge

chronosthetitan · 2019-01-19T04:07:32+00:00

No matter how good you are, rejection is just part of the process. Different things appeal to different women, would you rather bust your ass trying to make something work with someone your not comparable with to begin with or would rather understand that it’s good thing? Me personally I know I wouldn’t want to get involved emotionally with someone I shouldn’t be with to begin with, so understand that and appreciate it as a gift in disguise. You’ll be better off that way trust me.

Dmpham333 · 2019-01-19T06:20:32+00:00

Brush it off. You will build calluses the more you get hurt. Go out there and earn your calluses. You will eventually be desensitized to rejection and ultimately learn to deal with adversity in an attractive manner.

Qrioso · 2019-01-19T06:44:32+00:00

From 10 one will accept you for sure Read something about sales. Learn to sell yourself

gdmfhgi5 · 2019-01-19T12:20:15+00:00

Whenever i get rejected or even just get a weird look, i usually just go home and stay there in isolation for about 2 - 4 months, that usually helps👍

bamboojerky · 2019-01-19T18:20:35+00:00

It sucks and there's no easy way around it. You just gotta" keep busy and just get used to it as everyone said.

LingeringGnome · 2019-01-20T02:50:20+00:00

Success makes you completely forget about the rejections.

PR3D4T0R3000 · 2019-01-19T07:52:34+00:00

Get rejected so much that you realise it doesn’t matter and that everybody that is successful in anything getsrejected

Title	How do you learn to get over rejections?
Author	slickup
Upvotes	167
Comments	76
Date	January 18, 2019 6:05 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ahd67e/how_do_you_learn_to_get_over_rejections/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-learn-to-get-over-rejections.1460754 https://theredarchive.com/post/1460754

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