How does one 'flirt'

WhatIWannaSay · 2014-05-04T17:39:56+00:00

Remember: Flirting is nearly synonymous with FUN.

Having fun while interacting with women is absolutely fucking key to building mutual attraction. Playfulness, light teasing, light touching, a flash of those "I think I wanna fuck you" eyes, a flash of that devilish smile, a little bit of playful ignoring, just PLAY! And do this while not being afraid of your attraction/sex drive. Another big key is to flirt in such a way that is reserved enough not to be overbearing and in such a way that gives a push-pull: you flirt, she flirts, you both flirt, and it builds. Once the mutual tension escalates to the point where one of you almost can't take it any more, that is the best (though not the only) time to stop playing games and actually escalate physically.

Conclusion: Flirting is basically having fun with a girl (at whatever level seems appropriate) with the underlying hint that you wanna do something more to each other later.

1vibe · 2014-05-04T17:10:18+00:00

We'll read the sidebar. Don't tell them you like them, show them. Touching is key. Start by touching on the shoulder when someone is laughing (even a friend, just to start). There is a touch/emotion relationship... Touch at emotional high points. Briefly at first... Under one second... Then you'll get the feel for it. Read about escalation.

And look inside their eyes.

PowerSeductionWar · 2014-05-04T17:31:08+00:00

Internalize this: it's ok to piss off people. It's natural to have a few people disliking you or even hating you. It's okay for other people to lose in order for you to gain.

You think you want success with women but you really don't. With that success comes status and with status comes jealousy from other people.

Are you sure you even wanna deal with that? Can you handle people blowing your mistakes out of proportion and misinterpreting anything and everything you do?

Are you really ready for that?

ithearrow · 2014-05-04T17:10:30+00:00

Flirting is basically showing any kind of sexual interest in another person. There are different ways we flirt. The way you dress is one way to flirt. By dressing nicely, being well-groomed and taking care of your physical appearence.

The most common is teasing. Teasing basically means making fun of someone's insecurity in a playful way.

Next time though, I want you to try to cold approach a women. Find something you like about her, and give her a sincere compliment. If you see a beautiful women on the street, go up to her and tell her that she carries herself well or is beautiful

For advice on how to get out of friend zone. Try taking small steps to get comfortable with your physicality. Next time you meet someone, touch their shoulder when you greet them for no more than 1-2 seconds.

TimPartendale · 2014-05-04T18:34:15+00:00

Here a first tip of how to initiate KINO. Use this escalation ladder:

Within the 1st second: handshake
Within the next 10 seconds or so: touch her arm when you say something
Within the next minute or so: find a reason to touch her hand (ring), ear (earring), arm (asking her if she has muscles)
Within the next 5 minutes: you need to seduce her a bit by teasing her a bit in a fun way and putting your hand on her lower back or hold her arm for longer than just a second

You should follow these steps one another and normally not go to the next one, if she hasn't approved of the previous one by smiling or something. If she gives you the big eyes or Bambi eyes, you know she's attracted. :)

Some guys also "milk the handshake", where they hold the hand of the lady and hold direct eye contact while talking slowly and calmly. If you do this, you can chose some parts of a sentence to lean in and whisper in her ear.

Keep in mind to keep this should be pretty light and fun, but don't worry about doing everything right. You can also let her do the talking, all up to you how the convo is going. Hope that helped. :)

figyg · 2014-05-05T02:05:09+00:00

Flirting is like a muscle. You can't just decide to flirt and now you know how to flirt. YOU MUST PRACTICE. Say what pops into your head as being funny or flirty at the moment and say it without a filter. Its gotta almost be reflexive. Believe me, you're gonna say stupid things that don't make sense and its gonna be super awkward at times, and that's OK. When you know you're able to roll with the punches, you'll be able to flirt effectively.

Think about how you and your best guy friends bust each other's balls. Same exact concept, except with dudes its banter and with chicks its flirting. Now go practice ripping your bros.

Edit: Formatting

citizensounds · 2014-05-05T02:16:42+00:00

I've read No More Mr Nice Guy, Models, and The Way of The Superior Man. All great books IMO.

The only way to break out of your shell is to acknowledge your fear while choosing to look passed it.

Flirting in my mind is like how we act as kids. Kids just want to have fun. Girls just want to have fun. Back in the day we weren't so bogged down by the stress of becoming independent people. We weren't so trapped in our minds. We we're free. She wants to let her guard down and forget about being a responsible adult. She wants to reminisce on how it felt when daddy pushed her on a swing. Or pretended to be the govna' sipping imaginary tea with his pinky up, speaking with a British accent to her stuffed animals. She wants a man she can trust to hold her world on his shoulders so she can breathe and dance.

TL;DR: Flirting is play time.

ruffyamaharyder · 2014-05-04T23:10:12+00:00

You mess with them. Most nice guys don't do this. When a girl stumbles her words nice guys will ignore it. Flirtatious guys will throw in something like, "easy for you to say!"

When a girl has a horrible sounding sneeze, nice guys say "bless you," flirtatious guys say, "woah you sound like a duck when you sneeze. You're lucky your cute!"

It can be anything you find weird or different about the girl. They can be more direct --- like "negs" for example: "wow you have freakishly long eyelashes".

The reason this works is because you are letting them know you like them while not giving a damn if you mess it up and don't get them. It takes confidence and a bit of an edge to say things like this.

If I was with a girl who tripped I would point out a line or crack on the floor a bit later on and point it out to her so she would watch out! Obviously not a threat, but I'd always get an "oh shut up" and definite kino in the form of a slap. That's called tension and can be built into sexual tension.

In short, mess with them based on your situation while showing you are it may be attracted to them but don't give a damn that you mentioned it.

JackSomebody · 2014-05-04T21:14:34+00:00

I friend who was a girl would always grab my arm when she was laughing. I got the feeling liked me. Unfortunately I was a naive 6th grader and she already had tits so I did not get the message. Point is it might me an easy way for some contact.

Also when I was sitting next to this girl I liked on a bench I teased her and as she laughed she would shove my knee away as if to say 'fuck you' in the nicest possible way. Followed with eye contact and a smile.

Point is they made me feel like a happy young lad and might do the same for a woman.

trustmeiminnocent · 2014-05-05T00:03:44+00:00

Let her know you want to have sex with her without actually saying it.

SpaceFunkyMonkey · 2014-05-04T20:57:05+00:00

Just have fun, be suave and be yourself. Kino, escalation and other made up words just make you end up with the analysis-paralysis effect.

Just hangout out with the ladies and be playful. That's the key element. Not timed touching and planned strategy. Just be playful and humorous.

Source: Personal experience.

Edit: Fixed typo.

TBKTheAmazing · 2014-05-04T19:49:45+00:00

dick pics

gearheadgunfan · 2014-05-04T23:24:52+00:00

Read the first sentence of your post.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KybLjw7grko

2014-05-05T02:13:49+00:00

Teasing

fourthepeople · 2014-05-05T03:08:05+00:00

For me it's like the idea that the girl punching you in grade school is the one who likes you. Things just become a bit more sophisticated and overt as adults.

Teasing but playfully. Touching but comfortably. Making it known you're into them but not by saying so. Having fun and doing all of this confidently.

predalienmack · 2014-05-05T14:46:58+00:00

Remember this: don't give a shit about whether or not a girl will be offended by your teasing or light jokes because she generally WON'T BE. Often if she is (unless you're throwing something REALLY offensive/demeaning out there), she's just being uptight/isn't the fun kind of girl, anyways.

It's a nice way to feel a girl out when you see if she can take a little heat, and you know it's working if she throws a little heat back at you (though a girl's teasing and jokes directed at you will almost always be more tame than the ones you throw at her because she IS concerned about offending you/going too far, if she's interested). Obviously, that's only one aspect of flirting and a lot of the other guys on here are nailing other aspects, but teasing, making occasional jokes directed at her, and overall playfulness are critically important when you're flirting.

ransyn · 2014-05-06T04:48:07+00:00

Not sure if this has been said cause i dont want to read through all the comments posted already, but for me i use cocky funny since its just my personality...

Ill say things like "people are staring...maybe its cause im looking so sexy" no matter what she says after your going to be able to play off it...

She'll either call you out on it, or agree in either case as long as youve said it as a joke you can both laugh about it.

buyakigai · 2014-05-04T20:44:44+00:00

I flirt by doing these: Kino (there are tons of ways), getting into her personal space, devil smile (just think that she is a dirty girl or something), really intense eye contact (important), teasing her (amplify and exaggerate whatever she tells you), have a smirk on your face. There is cocky-funny (Google it). Flirting is an art, and you gradually will get better at it. Flirting is about you mate. YOU need to have fun, and include her in it. It's not about entertaining her or anyone else, but about entertaining you. Be playful because you feel like it. You can get in that playful state.

Sometimes you don't even have to "have fun with her" - when a girl is neutral towards me but I see her often (extended group of friends or work or any situation (like staying in the same hostel)), I don't tease or do kino, I don't talk to her much, I don't try to impress her at all, but when I do talk with her, it is intense intense eye contact and very confident and proud body language. This means that you don't have to "make a girl like you" - this happens naturally if you are intense and impressive, and are not acting like her friend.

What I mean is... there are many ways to skin a cat.

Title	How does one 'flirt'
Author	trustmeiminnocent
Upvotes	223
Comments	91
Date	May 4, 2014 4:16 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/24p8ki/how_does_one_flirt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-one-flirt.1370268 https://theredarchive.com/post/1370268

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