I have not been in a real relationship since 22/23. I'm 34 now. I'm a bit overweight (not alot, just more than average), losing most of my hair. Make well over six figures, no debt, never cheated on anyone, pretty generous to women, very good at my job, I get along at work just fine with all of the women. I've actually turned down a few job opportunities that would have paid $200,000 a year. When it comes to just getting a date with someone I like, I am a complete and utter failure. I get maybe a date with a girl I like once every two years. The most painful part is watching everyone else around you, everywhere you go, in public, enjoying life, having memories together, and you can't relate because no one ever gave you a chance. No one ever told you that you matter and you are important ,so when you go out friends are so far past the initial stages of attraction you can't relate to what they are talking about. Wives and kids and family vacations. No longer is anyone discussing what its like to have get a girlfriend/boyfriend - everyone is way past that and it increasingly makes you feel behind. Sure, i motivate myself I tell myself I love me, I try to get hobbies. I must. And I pay all of my own bills just fine.

And lately, I've been making some serious changes to my diet and exercise out of concern for my decreasing health that was motivating just by working and not doing much else, but I don't kid myself that someone is going to magically appear and love me. It's just not in the cards. Sometimes I cry, briefly at my place on Saturday night alone, because of how old I am and how hopeless it all is, and then I push those thoughts away and try to keep carrying on. There's no where to go to meet someone that I would be attracted to. Online? Can't get a single response. I've wrote every kind of personalized message that I can. It doesn't matter. Even if I do and I say everything right, it won't lead to a meet up in person. Bar and clubs are terrible to places to meet women. Its where you can see some of the most disgusting behavior from women when they shoot down guys who approach them in a friendly way. One time a girl I chatted up in the elevator on the way to work somehow found my work email, contacted me, we went out for coffee, I completely thought we hit it off because we had a great conversation and she had contacted me in the first place, and in the middle of another email exchange, I never heard back from her, and she responded finally, just to tell me she was moving away, and that it was super nice having a buddy. It was so soul crushing, after years and years of loneliness, that I had become so pathetic that just meeting someone alone in a public place just to have conversation and I would be more than happy to pay for everything had seemed like a distant thing, out of reach forever. I know probably she could care less, because she had hundreds of other suitors. I'm not surprised more men are considering killing themselves. I'm totally logical as well, if I was really disciplined, I could be a millionaire by the time I'm 45. But sometimes I do think WHAT’S THE POINT?

I'll never get to experience someone by my side, and now its too late. I've already went through all the key events in my life alone. I already have enough money to know it does not make you happier, and then I think about killing myself, but then I think I do have a job, people depend on me at work, it would hurt my family, so I stick around, but there really isn't much more than that keeping me on Earth. How can you say with a straight face that men need to go through their youngest years alone and that is ok? Society is increasingly celebrating women's independence, and stepping all over men. Its only going to get more and more popular. The saddest part is that I'm everything girls say they want on paper. Someone who isn't just after their body, someone who is up for real conversation. I have a pretty bright future career wise, but I'm not good enough just for a date. And I emphasize, not sex, just to meet at all, just to talk and just to see if their is a connection. Think about that for a second. But guys who abuse women, who cheat on women, who are unemployed and broke are good enough for a date. Yet these are the very things women complain about, but then turn around and mock guys like me for our lack of dating success. I was super polite and tried to be funny to a girl I met over online in dating, and she suggested we go out, and she just disappeared when I tried to suggest a time and place. I think a lot of this is reflective of the new advantages decent looking women enjoy in society. If you are a decent looking woman, based on the sheer volume of attention you get on Tinder, Facebook, Instagram, Okcupid, in bars, clubs, classes, on the street, you seriously have you pick of the litter, and can be so selective you can blow off guys who would be a perfect fit, because so many more come the next day. Most guys cannot picture a world like that. Decent looking women can be as flaky as they want. And if you dare to point it out, they will disappear in two seconds. On one hand,

I'm really appreciative of this article because its the first one I've seen that opens up discussion on a silent-taboo topic. On the other, speaking from personal experience, it's really laughable to say that guys should be happy and love themselves when you have never had to struggle to get a date, and you have not been alone for what is supposed to be the prime years of your life. I don't know if there has ever been a time in history where men getting a date with a partner you are attracted to (not just physically, but someone you can't stop talking to for hours. See, guys like that too if women just paid more attention. That's something we don't get to experience along with no physical intimacy like cuddling every night for example and talking and fixing what happened in each of our Lives. No photos, no memories, no positive interactions with the opposite sex has been more competitive than now where men are going through years of isolation, and decent looking women get to date more than ever, so they have the opposite problem. I don't even know that I can have sympathy for complaints that women have now. 10 guys hit on you today? Too many messages to go through in your dating inbox? Too exhausting going on dates every night this week? Seriously, its like trying to explain poverty to kids with trust funds. The most toxic thing about my life is that the very thing that motivating me to get where I am now was loneliness. I knew in my environment, no woman worth dating would give me the time of day, so I had to be relevant in some other way to the world. I had to become really, really good at my job, and aim to become rich.

And because I knew work was merit-based, dating is absolutely NOT merit-based. It was such a bitter and spiteful form of motivation, I was extremely surprised when it worked, and I went very far career wise in a very short amount of time though it wasn't easy. Five years later, I'm only now starting to take better care of my health because I am experiencing real physical symptoms from being alone for so long that I've tried to ignore by loving myself and not trying to get a relationship. So no offense to the author, but I don’t think you have remotest inkling of the idea what you're talking about when you discuss men's loneliness and despair when it come to a lack of love and romance. There is just no way you can understand the depths of despair we go through. And its not the same as having a relationship you don't want. That's a straw man argument. Relationships with the opposite sex are a vital part of life, and as long as the world is the way it is, and men continue to suffer in silence, while women enjoy dating as many people as they want, because so much attention in slanted in their direction on average. More men will kill themselves or just check out emotionally. I understand much of the attention women receive is unwanted and unwarranted, but believe me I don't like it anymore than women do because I never pay women any attention anymore at all. I WISH men were not so easy in giving attention to women who aren't interested and who clearly aren't appreciative of it. I don't even know why street harrassment is still a thing when women reject the majority of men that cold-approach them. I would love a world where women were as lonely as men and they could see what it it feels like firsthand. I could tell them while I'm in happy relationship with a partner I love that they just need to learn to love themselves, and make sure they really make sure when they go dating online, that they need to make the message witty, perfect, and grammatically correct, because if they don't, I have thousands of other women messaging me so I won't reply if they don't meet my perfect standards.

I wish I could giggle and tell them not to take it personal that's just how it is because I happen not to be on the receiving end of things. I wish I could tell women they better not come off creepy, dorky, or awkward, or ugly when they approach me at a bar because I got a lot of other women doing that so they better stand out if they hope to even have a shot at getting my number. Which also I may not pick up when they call since I give out my number to hundreds of other girls. I wish I could tell women don't feel bad about not getting a date for years, but don't also complain men have any advantage in dating, because that's just in their head while I get to brag to my friends about how many Tinder matches I got in 3 hours. I wish I could tell women it doesn't matter if they don't have dating experience, but they better not advertise it or have a good answer for why they haven't dated for years when I ask them that, because that's a red flag that will send me or any good man running for the hills. But I can't. I just have to stay positive, try to get healthier, get richer, and damn right it is for myself, not for any other woman, because they sure as hell don't even slightly care about me. At this point, you could say I'm INVISIBLE.

Edit 1 : Did break the block of text into paragraphs, hope it helps.

Edit 2 : These whole paragraphs were a comment someone left online on an article titled (don’t kill your self because you can’t get a gf) It’s not my experience, I have a very different story.

Edit 3 : If you made it this far in reading the text I APPRECIATE it, but I’m not the one who wrote it as I mentioned in the title. I copied this text when I felt I only share the same fate in regards to women with the dude who wrote it and then I got scared I might end up one day like him due to my failure to get a single gf.

I’m 20, international sophomore Bio/Premed major in a big state college.

EDIT 4 : THIS IS MAGIC I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY! AN ACQUAINTANCE I KNEW THROUGH A MUTUAL FRIEND TEXTED ME YESTERDAY AND WE PLANNED DINNER AND WE KEPT HAVING DEEP TALKS FOR 3 HOURS THEREAFTER, SHE GAVE ME THE BIGGEST, TIGHTEST HUG I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE AND THEN SHE LEFT. I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT, HOW DO I FOLLOW UP WITH HER?!

That’s Exactly how I was looking in this GIF LINK!

GIF