Im 23 and a 17 year old wants to be fwb with me, what do I do?

Addsyourpronoun · 2017-04-18T12:40:42+00:00

When I was 26 I met a girl who was 17. We met briefly in a public place. A couple weeks later, she approached me at a party and gave me her number. We will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary soon and have never been happier.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2017-04-18T16:40:42+00:00

The laws regarding sex with 16 and 17 year olds might prohibit certain age gaps. Understand your local laws thoroughly before proceeding. "I didn't know the law" won't keep you out of jail.
Make damn sure she's truly 17. Seriously. Ask for her ID and study it carefully to be sure it's legit. "She lied about her age" won't keep you out of jail.
Don't hang out with her when she's skipping school or otherwise somewhere she's not supposed to be. "Contributing to the delinquency of a minor" is a real thing.
Don't let her anywhere near alcohol or other drugs when you're around. You could very easily get blamed for providing it.
As always, wear a condom. You can't assume she's handling the birth control properly, especially at such a young age.

SonofLelith · 2017-04-18T07:59:32+00:00

Go ahead. Have fun, be respectful and practice safe sex. You'll regret it if you dont.

jedipaul9 · 2017-04-18T07:25:09+00:00

If the age of consent is 16 then what's the problem? Unless you have a moral issue with it...

Xanarxses · 2017-04-18T10:25:31+00:00

Age of consent is 16. Just don't knock her up and have fun smashing.

I mean... why not?

cyan1618 · 2017-04-18T07:12:16+00:00

http://img.pandawhale.com/101924-Elsa-fuck-gif-Disney-Frozen-Im-7tzP.gif

Eslime · 2017-04-18T17:31:42+00:00

Wrap it, document it, and make sure there's no liquor involved. Prevent a false rape accusation.

phillconnors · 2017-04-18T10:28:36+00:00

I say take her to pound town, although most of the guys here might disagree based on this recent thread :

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/65u8ca/holy_shit_another_lr_half_my_age/

This is mainly US people here who have different laws and maybe a slightly different culture, so expect some moralising! :)

2017-04-18T13:51:12+00:00

Lucky son of a bitch.

mbillion · 2017-04-18T11:36:34+00:00

She probably idolizes you and wants more but is trying to give you anything you want to be with her. So that's not healthy.

If she is clear with feelings and wanting a mature interaction and it feels healthy and thought out then I see no problem

As far as the age gap goes at the end of the year or next year nobody would even blink an eye at it.

If it seems off it might be because you know she wants more and aren't willing to offer it and know she's willing to sit second chair

thebeautifulstruggle · 2017-04-18T17:41:59+00:00

Where do you know her from? What are the inter-perosnal dynamics between you two? Are you in a position of power or mentorship with her? How mature is she? Why does she want fwb but not a relationship? Is this her first time? Is this her rebelling? What about her family? Is she hot crazy (never stick your dick in crazy) type? Age is one very important element of this scenario, but there is way more you need to look at.

603Electrical · 2017-04-18T12:14:30+00:00

I personally think the age gap is too much, but that's just me I would feel awkward knowing how young she is.. She can't even go out for drinks for 4 more years. Plenty of fish in the sea

Where_is_dutchland · 2017-04-18T08:47:20+00:00

I'd say as long as it's clear what both your motives are and both feel fine about it, then go ahead and have fun while you can

Filou7474 · 2017-04-18T18:08:14+00:00

Fuck her right in the pussy

glassuser · 2017-04-18T11:57:38+00:00

Sounds like you already made sure there are no legal issues. Have fun, run with it, and keep your Johnson wrapped.

2017-04-18T16:10:34+00:00

There's no fuckable switch that will flip in 8 months. If it's legal, go for it.

Woujo · 2017-04-18T11:44:23+00:00

How are you 23 and hanging out with 17 year olds?

jtaylor1311 · 2017-04-18T13:15:07+00:00

Be careful. It's not that you're committing a crime or doing something ethically wrong, it's that you're potentially a very early and important sexual experience to a girl. We all know how girls (and guys) catch feelings, so you have to make it insistently clear at all times that you're just messing around. I don't doubt 17 yr olds exist that can have that kind of "relationship" but they have to be a pretty enlightened person altogether to not fall into the comfortable trap of love.

She could also be straight up crazy and trap you with a baby or rape charge, just sayin

chaldeanrefuge · 2017-04-18T17:36:30+00:00

You're not doing anything immoral or illegal. What's the issue?

2017-04-18T17:38:57+00:00

If there's nothing against the law then go for it. You're still young and there's no point in denying your attraction for each other because of something so arbitrary as a few months.

I remember when I was 18 there was a very mature for her age, at least physically, 16 year old that I was interested in.

We ended up dating for a few months which was legal in Texas.

Anyway, after we broke up (because she didn't have time for a boyfriend) my buddy who had been giving me shit for dating her started dating her. Ha ha.

Umbrifer · 2017-04-18T18:48:04+00:00

If you're safe legally than go for it

pgaray · 2017-04-18T18:57:25+00:00

If state law allows it, then get you sum! #youcandoit

RainbowShowers · 2017-04-18T20:06:30+00:00

age difference not far off. who you date is nobodys business. doesn't mean you have to have sex.

2017-04-18T20:48:08+00:00

If you really ever find yourself looking up age of consent laws, you should probably walk away. Yuck.

TheIronMoose · 2017-04-18T20:51:23+00:00

Check local age of concent laws, be absolutely sure of her actual age, the go ahead. Ive seen a lot of stories of a girl saying oh I'm 17 I turn 18 in a couple months then they find out later she is 15 and the dude is in deep shit.

Shade0o · 2017-04-18T20:59:56+00:00

I was 28 and had a 18yo fwb. Who cares if you two don't?

hankhayes · 2017-04-18T21:06:41+00:00

Check to be sure - many age of consent laws require you to be within three years of her age. Better safe than sorry.

TsarOfSaturn · 2017-04-18T21:27:07+00:00

Food for thought. Are you absolutely positive of the age of consent in your state? If not, becoming a life long registered sex offender, for having consensual sex no less, will absolutely ruin your life, and it's barely getting started.

People change. She may very well be an awesome girl at 17, but she can't even legally buy a lottery ticket or a beer. She hasn't had a chance to live life yet. Be prepared for that.

One last thing, how well do you know her parents? And do you or your family have money? It's a shitty bullshit thing but not unheard of where the mother intentionally gets her daughter to sleep with someone older, only to blackmail some serious money out of them. Hopefully this is not the case, but it has happened before.

But then maybe none of this applies and you'll be just fine. FWIW, if I were you there is too much risk for things to go catastrophically wrong. I'd pass, or at the very least wait until she turns 18

joos11 · 2017-04-18T22:13:54+00:00

This shit really bugs me about seddit. This is not a question for a bunch of strangers on the internet ! You are the one who will live with the feelings afterwards so make a decision for yourself.

Novvon_Stark · 2017-04-19T02:03:38+00:00

Don't. And walk away. She's too young, so be mature and allow her to make mistakes with people her own age, rather than risk having this backfire in you.

2017-04-19T04:04:29+00:00

go ahead and date her. whats the worst thing that could happen

prodigy2throw · 2017-05-03T08:03:18+00:00

Why wouldn't you?

innergame · 2017-04-18T13:31:56+00:00

My personal feeling isn't that it's the years that matter, it's the milestones.

You have 3 on her. Graduating highschool, legal drinking, and graduating college. What's going on with you that you have enough in common with this person?

Quithi · 2017-04-18T12:59:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Garthanthoclops · 2017-04-18T13:02:28+00:00

You better not just listen to these people without looking up consent laws. Some states are lax, some are more restrictive. I know where I live, age of consent is 16 unless one party is 21+, then it's 18. You could get in serious trouble.

DominicanFury · 2017-04-18T13:36:56+00:00

dude record her saying she consents it then save the evidence to a computer! then go in for the kill. oh and my dad had like a 30+ year gap on my mom.

solo_dol0 · 2017-04-18T13:54:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mrj0ker · 2017-04-18T13:26:13+00:00

Its simple. Wait and someone else is going to fuck her instead, and don't fool yourself into thinking it's her first rodeo either.

2017-04-18T14:42:03+00:00

Do I wait?

can you explain a bit? wait for what?

wait until she's 18? why? do you think she will be much more mature in 8 months? do you think one becomes "better" at sex when they turn 18? are you afraid of what others will think of you for having sex with someone slightly younger than 18?

Quithi · 2017-04-18T14:44:29+00:00

I'd say it depends on a combination of three factors:

How public this tryst will be (who'll know about it)
The public perception on this kind of age difference (will try care)
How swayed you are by the public perception (will you care)

Personally I'm 26 and I'll go down to 18. Lower if she's hiding her age (happened once). That kind of age difference is frowned upon here (perfectly legal though) but I don't give a fuck and those whose opinion I curry are either not going to know or not going to care. Everyone else that might find out about it would judge me for how many I sleep with either way.

Crazed_Guerilla · 2017-04-18T16:14:13+00:00

Go get it man, my current GF is two years younger than me and 17 at the time. Age doesn't matter as much when it's just two of you living life and enjoying it.

Evilnipple · 2017-04-18T11:28:50+00:00

I'm 23, my gf is 17. Have fun. ;)

bigblue36 · 2017-04-18T07:21:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

anon1moos · 2017-04-18T13:19:43+00:00

Go in now. What's the problem?

drprittstick · 2017-04-18T15:48:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

robbinh00d · 2017-04-18T15:05:24+00:00

FUCKING WAIT! DO NOT COLLECT $100 AND DO NOT PASS GO!! Wait until she is 18, end of story!

sergeant_flem · 2017-04-18T14:40:22+00:00

Be careful, she might be able to legally consent but that does not mean that her parents will be okay with it. She's still very much under their thumb and there are many other ways they can press charges, especially if drugs or alcohol are involved.

Not saying that it will happen of course, just be careful how you approach it. If you do really want to go through with this make sure you're both completely sober during the act, do not take/exchange any pictures or videos either

ivanbin · 2017-04-18T15:18:38+00:00

Just dont forget to use protection. Don't trust someone that young (even if she says she does) to take the pill regularly and to never forget to do so.

barca947 · 2017-04-18T15:35:28+00:00

Fwb? Let it slide if you don't love her.

nacron122 · 2017-04-18T15:46:54+00:00

Make sure that you leave her better than you found her. Be mindful of her wants and needs. Don't just use her for her vagina (unless that's what she wants).

I had a similar situation myself, it went into polyamory with my SO, and while tears were shed, we're all still friends and no one got stabbed.

Dionysusof0 · 2017-04-18T12:43:08+00:00

Don't have sex with minors. Hold yourself to a higher standard.

Title	Im 23 and a 17 year old wants to be fwb with me, what do I do?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	138
Comments	159
Date	April 18, 2017 7:04 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/661bg9/im_23_and_a_17_year_old_wants_to_be_fwb_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-23-and-a-17-year-old-wants-to-be-fwb-with-me.1423505 https://theredarchive.com/post/1423505

Comments