Mentally scarred from going out alone

PrinceDestin · 2025-01-27T22:06:48+00:00

She judged you without knowing even 5 seconds of who you are, I’d pay it no mind outside of the “this bitch is weird” phase

DaygameCode · 2025-01-27T22:07:54+00:00

She probably told you that you were creepy because standing on your own in a club doing nothing but looking at the girls from a distance is the equivalent of a lion hidden in the bushes stalking his prey from a distance evaluating who to hunt.

You were creepy because you did not have enough self-awareness to realize how your presence was coming across.

It’s not the fact that you were alone but what you were doing while you were alone, or how it looked like to others what you were doing.

Overthinking and overanalyzing whether to approach a woman or not is what makes the act creepy, not the approach itself.

The good news is that once you learn your mistakes you can stop doing them and improve to avoid looking creepy.

Impressive-Drawer-70 · 2025-01-27T22:04:12+00:00

People that rude to strangers are sociopaths so who cares what they think.

FuturePhukBoi · 2025-01-27T22:25:26+00:00

So I went out alone twice this month. First time I went, it was at the college club at 8:30 and stayed until 2:00 am. The majority of the time I drank and I danced and I vibed and talked to random people, men and women, not so much focusing on flirting. This club is smack-dab in the middle of a college town, too.

It wasn’t until 12:00 or so that I was climbing down the stairs that I met this blond. We locked eyes. She smiled. I smiled. I just blurted, “You’re really cute. I fuck with the fit.”

Long story short we made out. Danced. Took her home but didn’t end up having sex because I freaked the fuck out last minute.

Second time I went out alone I didn’t do shit but dance. Yeah I had a few people stare but it’s a club. People do that all the time. I’m zoned out vibing in a corner talking to some dude in a cowboy hat and some chick with black boots and a skirt when I hear the group next to me murmur something. Some Asian chick is whispering something about me. I heard “Who? That guy in black?” She replied, “Yeah him.”

And I catch her looking at me before turning away. She could’ve been talking shit. Maybe not.

My point is, “Don’t let it bother you.”

Ever. If it stings, brush it off and move on because everyone is different in the club and on scenario won’t mean shit the next time. I’ve had women call me creepy in the past because of my cringe pickup lines. I’ve had chicks just vanish. I’ve had random make out sessions and lays. It’s a numbers game. But you have to maximize your possibility and you can’t be afraid to go out and fail, or succeed. The pain of regret is far greater than the pain of rejection.

If I told you how many girls I could’ve approached when I was younger that I didn’t because I feared rejection only to find out they were interested in me later when it was far too late to do anything about, you’d cry.

Apples_into_Snapple · 2025-01-28T03:13:28+00:00

On the real, girls are weird and are bitches. A lot of girls feel extremely entitled to ruin someone else’s day just because they had a shit day.

I had a similar experience (although I was not solo at the club) but a random girl came up to me once and told me I was a pathetic, loser, and made her uncomfortable (deadass, I’ve never met this girl before or even approached her). Luckily I was with one of my homegirls (a tall very attractive Asian girl) she overheard and she tore the girl a new asshole. The girl (was a cute blonde, but not a 10) started crying and apologized to me saying “she didn’t mean it” and she had a bad day because her boyfriend dumped her that day.

After that day I started to ponder what I would have done had my homegirl not been there. Started to get better at inner game and not care what a girl said to me to reject me (or to try to be a bitch to me). Basically, if a girl judges you on just 5 seconds of your presence, her opinion or thoughts don’t mean shit. And if she’s being a bitch for no reason, have fun with it.

The closest experience I’ve had after that was when I approached a brunette at a bar once and the first thing the girl said was “you make me uncomfortable”. I simply looked at my skin color (I’m a dark Hispanic guy) and told her “… wow, you’re one of those types of people” and started to walk away. The girl was so shocked with my reply and started to stutter, she tried to follow me to try to say something and I just replied “please don’t follow me, you make me very uncomfortable”.

In summary, work on your inner game and you won’t care what no random girl that is being a bitch says

Badguy60 · 2025-01-28T00:53:49+00:00

I have been called way worse.

The secret to club or bar game is to literally just start talking to people, as long you not just standing around and looking at random shit you'll be fine.

Take it from someone that use to just stand around and look at the TV

UltraAirWolf · 2025-01-28T07:02:08+00:00

Dude what are you talking about. Hi I’m UltraAirWolf. Will you be my friend? Cool.

Tell her your friend thinks she’s an idiot who doesn’t know shit from shinola.

Honestly bro, remove yourself from the situation. Pretend it’s all actors. What kind of character would you consider that girl? The lead? The romantic interest? No! That’s the bitchy bitchy who gets paint spilled all over her in the end.

And I can hear my imagined version of you saying “well ok yeah I know she was a bitch but she wouldn’t have said that to a cool guy who exudes what women want.”

Yeah ok sure, bitter pill, you were probably feeling insecure because you were out alone and maybe not really used to it, probably not having any fun because you felt like you needed to spit game or earn a woman’s approval to have fun so idk you were standing by yourself wondering what to do? Idk man, you were probably in that moment not creepy bit like, insecure enough to be creepy adjacent enough to allow an energy vampire to exploit your insecurity. I’ve been that creepy guy too, and I’m cool as fuck. Just laugh at it bro. The best game tip I could ever hope to teach you, the reason I popped up out of nowhere, is to teach you the thing that’s gonna get you more pussy than 1000 books. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at her. Take it all seriously but also it’s all a joke. Live lightly bruh. You are not creepy, you are beautiful, but you have to free your mind. Do something drastic. Take up karaoke. But for fucks sake stop being a prisoner of NOTHING.

Alert_Juggernaut_730 · 2025-01-28T06:17:13+00:00

Were you staring at them? Never do that. Never get into a quite awkward stareship with women, even if you're good looking

Sherman140824 · 2025-01-28T09:44:28+00:00

We think young pretty women are the ultimate benchmark of our worth. In reality they can be as stupid and cruel as any spoiled college fuckface.

Amaran345 · 2025-01-27T23:31:13+00:00

The secure way of handling this is to take what the girl said into account but without taking it personally or getting emotionally riddled up because of it.

When going to a bar or club, try to hit conversation with someone, if no girls want to talk to you, talk with the guys, maybe you'll make a good friend there

sociopathalterego · 2025-01-28T04:07:28+00:00

You are not responsible for other people's thoughts and feelings. If a schizophrenic guy believes that you're a lizard person who's trying to secretly control the world, it's best you ignore them.

It's the same thing with the girl or any girl you talk to in the future. You're not a serial-killer (hopefully); you don't need to worry whether others think that about you or not.

SeinfeldFrasier · 2025-01-28T04:31:19+00:00

When you replay it in your head, make her 3 foot tall, with a Mickey Mouse voice

AOLGeneration · 2025-01-28T09:48:18+00:00

First, I agree with the other people who said not to give this person one more second of your brain power. Second, it could be possible that she was testing you out. Why does she have to communicate what 'her friends' think? They have mouths; they can express themselves. She may have been interested in you and wanted to see how you would handle an aggressive situation of her own making. If you were confident and had some quick answers for her, she may not have shoo-ed you away. In any event, she either does not warrant consideration or she was looking for an excuse to go up to you.

Rollorich · 2025-01-28T13:56:45+00:00

Mark Manson has a story like this in his book models. One side of the club he was told he was creepy, the same night on the other side of the club he was told he was the best looking guy in there.

Fragmented79 · 2025-01-28T14:36:42+00:00

It was a shit test. I would’ve said “what an unorthodox ice breaker - I’m Stan and you are?”

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-01-28T02:59:16+00:00

Dont let it affect you. The moment you let others dictate your behaviour you are literally a slave to them. I've written a nightclub guide on my profile, read it to regain some confidence. Try out new things because what you were doing before clearly doesn't work

epimpstyle · 2025-01-28T10:33:20+00:00

This is an example of when you need to use a good "frame", curious about what you have done.

It depends on how you decide to handle this sentence, you can be upset, you can be indifferent, you can hit on her because she just made an "opener", you can make it funny... it can be exactly as she says if you react in a certain way, or it can be "no... he is cool".

Going out alone is difficult because before approaching a girl you need to get into a social state (talkative mode). It is not impossible, but it is difficult, however in less than an hour you can be very social and talkative even when you are alone if you work towards this goal.

Ryan_the_Scion · 2025-01-28T11:35:32+00:00

a girl came up to me (I was just standing alone holding my drink) saying, “ my friends think you’re really fucking creepy,” while proceeding to shoo me away

This is about HER not you. Such people are often outraged about something in their own lives, but unable to take out their aggression where it belongs. Therefore they vent their spleen.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-01-28T13:32:57+00:00

I would not worry about it. Everybody gets it regardless of how attractive you are. Sometimes girls do these things as dares. Either way she's a disgusting individual who delights in trying to manipulate people.

AVGVSTVS_OPTIMVS · 2025-01-28T15:21:09+00:00

She sounds like a see you next tuesday so I would not take her words into account.

You know you, she didn't. Don't let one miserable person's words diminish you, bro.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-01-28T19:19:37+00:00

Just go out again. I go out alone a lot. Also try not to stand alone or make it obvious you’re alone it is weird. Stand close to the bar or close to other people. Try to get into sets with girls as that’s the whole reason you’re there

habbo311 · 2025-01-29T01:30:59+00:00

Should have told the bitch to fuck herself in hell. She would be a coward without her group

No-Preference8767 · 2025-01-29T11:44:03+00:00

College clubs are rough because people can give you a bad reputation in that college .

Id try to go to different clubs and avoid that place Once you do that, avoiding that crowd should be easier Then you should be able to convince yourself that those people's opinions won't cause much harm to you

TransitionNormal1387 · 2025-01-28T01:53:43+00:00

You don’t want to go solo to college clubs/bars because that’s the social hangout spot for groups that met in college. Solo works better for older than college venues in general.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-02-15T21:36:53+00:00

Saw your thread and I can relate as I was in your situation last year...what is your goal when it comes to dating? Abundance of options or building with one woman

dwsinpdx · 2025-07-23T22:06:13+00:00

You’re totally cute dude

Title	Mentally scarred from going out alone
Author	Goldfielddid911
Upvotes	74
Comments	49
Date	January 27, 2025 9:56 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1iblbir/mentally_scarred_from_going_out_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/mentally-scarred-from-going-out-alone.1542307 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542307

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