Can confidence hide inexperience or does it always seep out?

jaredhasarrived · 2021-09-19T13:44:36+00:00

I think you failed to escalate

MisterShogunate · 2021-09-19T13:26:39+00:00

I think she just meant you sucked at dancing.

wallynext · 2021-09-19T13:49:16+00:00

you know what real confidence is? to admit that you are inexperienced and be comfortable with it

ManginaSniper · 2021-09-19T13:22:21+00:00

Never allow anyone to affect your mentality, ever...this reenforces a confident mindset

Murfdigidy · 2021-09-19T13:49:20+00:00

Always maintain frame, you hear the word fake it till you make it? Not saying to be fake but believe in yourself even if you suck at dancing or if you're a virgin, whatever. A girl worth being with isn't gonna give two shits about how good a dancer you are, or how great you are in bed, or how many girls you've slept with... Girls fly off their emotions and those emotions change quickly, sometimes from super hot to ice cold depending on their experience in the moment.

So the key is STAY IN THE MOMENT! If you're dancing and having fun keep that positive energy, if what's working is doing what you were doing then keep doing it! If a girl questions you about ANYTHING, never ever let that affect your frame. Meaning if a girl tells me I can't dance you sit there with a huge grin on your face and tell her please I'm ready to audition for dancing with the stars, you're just jealous!

That basically checks two things off the box... That response is funny and confident... Girls LOVE THAT. So next time smile, stay in the moment and don't ever lose frame. The saying is so true, girls just wanna have fun, so be that fun!

mrrooftops · 2021-09-19T15:16:54+00:00

Absolutely standard dancefloor shit test from an attractive woman to a man who is coming across as too outcome dependant.

rewinder909 · 2021-09-19T16:08:45+00:00

Maybe she was talking about your dancing. Even if she is talking about you escalating, it is a good sign, it means you're not hitting on every girl every night. You have her contact info it's already a win, just program a date in the following week and you're good to go.

Savings-Feed-8143 · 2021-09-19T23:46:24+00:00

For me it doesn't really sound you're all that inexperienced tbh OP. You went out, you talked to several girls, you got a girl to dance with you, and apparently you even exchanged numbers. I'm an inexperienced guy, I'm trying to work on myself, and for me it sounds like you really did well, except taking it to the next level.

Keep at it man.

the_bbutterfly · 2021-09-19T14:14:03+00:00

Yes it can, I usually when I meet someone if she is really atractive I just can't sit sill. I turn on something on me and turn into a cocky guy, allways saying what I want and my opinions most of the times in a way that put everybody laughing because everyone knows it's true but nobody have the courage to say it. Constantly messing with a girl, teasing, being mean in a playful way etc. For most of the hot girls the impressioon they have of me it's that I'm some kind of girls man or playboy. But yeah once I let them in they learn that I am just a broken kid like many of us, not lacking experience but also not the playboy they used to think.

So it's kind of hiding but i don't feel like hiding its just the way I choose to show myself, ofc I don't have confidence to people I just met that I'm a broken kid but I have enough to show my cocky playboy side and if they like and I live them probably I show them more about me

davenh123 · 2021-09-19T19:05:22+00:00

"Before she left for the night, she asked for my contact info."

Please tell me you also secured her contact info? If so, then (quickly) get confident enough in your own head, plan a few escalation strategies (depending on what she says, and how interested she seems), and then have at it!

Independent_Wasabi25 · 2021-09-19T22:15:08+00:00

First and foremost… nothing wrong with being yourself, even if that’s being “inexperienced.” But from a masculine point of view, you’re being too eager/hype. If you’re a “catch” for women.. then be just that. Don’t give up so much affection on first introduction because now you look like a horny, desperate, sex-deprived man. Now, if a woman shows interest in you, then by all means you can show interest back… but never take it passed the level she takes it to. (Example: if she’s getting close, then you can get close. If she’s playing with your hair, then you can play with hers [later when you’re getting intimate in bed])

Lastly. Be a man, and make a move. Don’t beat around the bush like a little boy. If you think you can get lucky, roll the dice and say “Lets go back to my place and have a couple drinks” Or whatever fits the situation.

Pro tip: Women are attracted to what they can’t have. Women will show you (not tell you) what they want when they get comfortable enough. And women will always gravitate toward a man who can show some restraint. No woman wants the man that any woman can have.

Hope this helps you out pimp.

LakersAreTerrible25 · 2021-09-19T23:25:39+00:00

This is why I never dance at clubs or with women. It makes you look goofy, if you you're a fairly good dancer. My thing would be not to meet women in the club because even if you end up smashing, they're likely not so high in quality. If you're in school like me, definitely approach on campus as you go about your day (try to avoid doing it in class). If not, then I'd still recommend street approaches over clubs. Go to the club to enjoy the music and have a few brews with your buddies. I've gotten endless dates and girls I can fuck from campus, very underrated imo

agpc · 2021-09-19T16:44:28+00:00

Fake it til you make it

Lord_Augastus · 2021-09-19T23:15:16+00:00

Only if you own it and dont get flustered and cover your ego. Many women will overlook experience or lack of knowledge, but if you pretend to be something or know something you dont, covering your ego instead of admiting and owning your shortcomings, generally few people can respect that.

bigblackshaq · 2021-09-20T02:40:11+00:00

letting me grab her ass

brother you were in

PoPoChao · 2021-09-20T07:13:22+00:00

Damn yo. You could have hooked up with her that night

dry-foo · 2021-09-20T11:14:29+00:00

It sounds you're quite confident. Also if you were able to make many approaches and still get good results with this one girl it must mean you can't be that inexperienced, right?

Experience brings confidence. Confidence does not bring experience. I don't think you should worry girl finding out that your body count is not that high. They don't care. For some girls it's a source of jealousy and even a turnoff. The heck, there are many inexperienced girls out there so they aren't expecting you to be a casanova.

Just be yourself and have fun. It sounds like you're already doing that though

great_account · 2021-09-21T00:52:42+00:00

Just be confident in your inexperience. You didnt do anything wrong. You have every right to make mistakes and learn. Don't pretend to be something you aren't.

scenesick2 · 2021-09-19T13:59:31+00:00

Girls admire guys who know their shit, but mostly importantly, guys that are NOT afraid to go do it even if they're not sure how it will turn out.
If you're inexperienced in something don't be afraid to admit you don't have much experience in it, it's much better than being inexperienced but acting and looking like a fool. ( being dishonest, trying to act like you know everything ) , just showing you're brave enough to try and fail is already a win.

But anyway, you could have hid that insecurity by answering something vague like " what do you think "? or something, instead of saying " yeah ", because she already can confirm that you do indeed don't have much experience cause it came out from your own mouth.

Because her initial thought was " this guy doesn't do this often " , but with your vague answer ( not a yes, not a no ) it makes her think " oh shit maybe he DOES do it often , or maybe he doesn't? " It keeps her guessing except for an immediate answer.

Buuuuuut, whatever she said you shouldn't even care anyway. " It seems when a girl finds out, it brings me down a notch or two " , that's the real problem: don't care so much, be confident in your weaknesses.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-09-19T14:18:58+00:00

Confidence isn't about some ridiculous notion of perfection; it's about being comfortable with yourself and your abilities, whatever they happen to be at the time.

So no, confidence won't (and shouldn't) hide any weaknesses in your game, but you handled it wonderfully by rolling with the (lighthearted) criticism.

And it worked! If she made a point to approach you for your information, she's definitely interested. Go get it!

SnooHesitations4922 · 2021-09-19T15:00:43+00:00

Just be good looking, that will cover for any lack of experience or confidence. Matter of fact, u can get away with almost anything.

MuMuGorgeus · 2021-09-19T15:02:36+00:00

What? I girl started dancing with you, teased you for your dancing and in the end even asked you for your phone. I don't see where is the problem fella.

Gerald00 · 2021-09-19T14:39:14+00:00

always seeps. just be confortable beeing wierd

BurnItDownSR · 2021-09-19T15:01:55+00:00

You're not really confident when you're inexperienced. You can project something that looks like confidence but its not confidence, it's just bravado.

skinisblackmetallic · 2021-09-19T15:42:34+00:00

Confidence reduces the relevance of inexperience.

Charge36 · 2021-09-19T17:22:57+00:00

True confidence comes from experience. Honestly though I think she may have been talking about your dancing and giving you a little shit test. You probably could have responded better but a relatively neutral non reactive agreement with her isn't the worst response.

eyesopen1111 · 2021-09-19T17:29:27+00:00

First of all, inexperience is a huge turn-off to women. Second, high confidence with no experience to support it is either false confidence or foolish optimism. Navy SEALs train. You have to put in the work and get experience to get good.

You know how frustrating it is when a driver is driving super slowly in the passing lane, slowing your ass down? Well, being a guy who doesn’t (1) know when to physically escalate and then (2) knows when to logistically escalate by (3) taking her home will likely trigger sexual frustration in women.

NoNameAnonUser · 2021-09-19T17:31:23+00:00

Man... you should have taken her directly to your house. She was TOTALLY into you.

tnpersona · 2021-09-19T17:42:25+00:00

I don't think it's that big of a deal, but it depends on how much inexperience we talking about. Sounds like the encounter was still fairly successful for you, so I wouldn't worry too much

squatch1601 · 2021-09-19T18:54:50+00:00

If you're hiding inexperience and worrying about it seeping out, that's not confidence. Nobody is perfect, confidence is accepting it and rolling with it.

sh1ftyswar · 2021-09-19T19:19:32+00:00

HYGIENE! FUCK, I knew I was missing something

Ramen-4-breakfast · 2021-09-19T20:07:29+00:00

I think the situation speaks for itself, sure you didn’t close, but your confidence to go out by yourself and approach other girls I think was a plus, the redhead approached you and seemed interested. She saw you didn’t have much experience but was still interested enough to give you her number BECAUSE you were confident. I’d say it’s a small win!

McWhiters9511 · 2021-09-19T21:32:31+00:00

Confidence is not caring you don't have experience. Just accepting the present moment exactly how it is.

bonnie_barko · 2021-09-20T02:28:58+00:00

You can be confident and truthful within your inexperience.

You don't have to lie about your experience. Just say, I've been waiting for the right moment

2021-09-23T04:29:32+00:00

Bruh she wanted u to take her home loll u missed ur chance.

Title	Can confidence hide inexperience or does it always seep out?
Author	Goldfielddid911
Upvotes	264
Comments	54
Date	September 19, 2021 1:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pr7nr6/can_confidence_hide_inexperience_or_does_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-confidence-hide-inexperience-or-does-it-always.1275864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275864

Comments