Should I give her a hearing she deserves?

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-01-26T12:09:27+00:00

Just be polite, but decline. She likely has been rejected by another man, or the well has dried up on her end and she’s looking for attention/validation. In the past, she knew she could get that from you easily.

Say you appreciate her reaching out, but because of the way things turned out last time, you aren’t interested in reconnecting. Wish her the best and then move on.

mchief101 · 2022-01-26T12:12:56+00:00

I wouldnt even respond cuz that will open back your feelings to her which can be disastrous.

hyperactivebeing · 2022-01-26T13:40:01+00:00

NO REPLY IS THE BEST REPLY.

agentStag · 2022-01-26T13:45:55+00:00

Leave her on read bro.

GeezRick · 2022-01-26T13:00:22+00:00

Trust me don’t respond or if you do, just acknowledge the text and that’s it. Some women just hate being on bad terms and will reach out to you just to make sure you’re still cool with them before they finally ghost you completely. Don’t fall for it.

Appropriate-Top-6076 · 2022-01-26T13:46:17+00:00

You post this ever month, don't be delusional.

littles_secret · 2022-01-26T14:33:04+00:00

Being the bigger person is horse shit for “let them walk over you and proceed to let them take zero accountability.” Let her speak her peace but tell her exactly how you feel and that’s not ok with you. My favorite line to use on people like that is “Are you under the impression I allow everyone in my life to treat me that way or are you asking me to make an exception for you?” Knocks em dead every time. If they respond with aggression it shows you they haven’t changed or become genuinely regretful. As someone who wasn’t putting the effort I should’ve in to certain people which hurt them (no where near her though), I went through the process of bettering myself and someone emotionally mature (which you NEEEEED to make a genuine and successful connection) would see your frustrations and be completely unoffended/unbothered by you calling those things out and would take full accountability for their actions and your feelings without defensiveness, aggression, blame, none of it, just sympathy.

Telling you to take the high road is gaslighting you into believing your feelings of anger, hurt, or frustration aren’t valid or don’t deserve to be heard which is why it makes you feel so shitty and small. I’d look up stuff debunking “the high road” it may give you tons of peace of mind. We’re human. Hurt and anger are not a low road. Sadness is not weak. Happiness, neutrality, apathy towards negativity are not strengths

n0budd33 · 2022-01-26T11:57:39+00:00

Move on.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-01-26T14:19:34+00:00

Kick her to the curb mate, that' all you gotta do. The way you do it doesn't really matter. Be petty if you want to.

Sensitive-Permit-877 · 2022-01-26T15:26:42+00:00

Read two sentences send her packing to the streets. If she fucked you over once she is back and will do it again. Let me ask you if your mom got fucked over by a guy or your sis and that guy came back three years later and she was asking you the same question what you say?

armorm3 · 2022-01-26T16:08:40+00:00

Feels bad and was remembering your time together? So it's still all about her. Won't even apologize.. Just reply, "not interested"

lozboss · 2022-01-26T16:43:27+00:00

Ghost her. Why you giving her your precious time.

Leave the past in the past.

Telling her off won't change if she's a disingenuous dickhead, she won't learn. Don't waste your time.

CompendiumDigital · 2022-01-26T14:42:30+00:00

block her and move on with your life.

mx30mark · 2022-01-26T14:33:33+00:00

Let it go, why rehash bad feelings.

throwaway36330 · 2022-01-26T15:18:14+00:00

It probably won’t hurt to listen to an apology. I have been the person who did bad choices and I wanted to apologise years later. I was happy I got the chance and I genuinely didn’t have a hidden agenda. It felt good making peace with the past and it seemed the recipient felt better about the past that way, too.

Boundaries are important and remember - you don’t owe anything. No “let’s get together again” (unless you very truly feel like it and that needs careful scrutiny by yourself), no “let’s hang out sometime” (same thing applies) etc. But just talking things out like two adults and getting closure can be good.

mjornir · 2022-01-26T15:58:21+00:00

I wouldn’t even bother responding. Leave her on read lol. It’s not even petty or undermining you “being the bigger person”, it just demonstrates that you don’t care and that gives you power

lowkey136 · 2022-01-26T16:25:41+00:00

I had a girl like this. Took her on some pretty nice dates and never got anything from it. She went cold and then ended up reaching out after a year to tell me she pulled away because she ended up going back to her ex. Things didn't work out between them. Told her that sucks but I'm not anyones second option. Kept it straight forward and to the point so she got the message. She apologized and I haven't responded since.

It felt so good having the upper hand after a year of no contact and knowing I came out on top.

LucisPerficio · 2022-01-26T12:29:27+00:00

You owe her nothing.

rickmackdaddy · 2022-01-26T14:39:28+00:00

“I dunno, I’m into some freaky sex stuff now. It’s been going really great for me and I am enjoying sex 100% my way. I don’t think you’d be down.”

creativeoutlaw44 · 2022-01-26T17:35:40+00:00

If it's wrong for a dude to use a girl, then it's wrong for a girl to use a dude.

Don't perpetuate double standards unless you're ready for the consequences.

You made the right move.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2022-01-26T22:20:57+00:00

Dude. Never be offended of hoe choosing someone over u. Let em do what they want on the side, as long as they dont disrespect u

They belong to the streets. So back then it was ur turn, but u blowed it. Now u could make her pay and do the work. But u better just reject and move on, seems like it rlly got you..

Fusionnn · 2022-01-26T12:58:11+00:00

pump and dump do the same, actions have consequences

NympOmatik · 2022-01-26T12:18:41+00:00

No. She’s looking for validation.

Jackson220176 · 2022-01-26T12:55:59+00:00

My vindictivness wins here. Meet up with her and let her do the talking. Say as little as possible without making it awkward. I guatantee she will reveal that she just got the Heisman from some guy smarter than you. She wont say it straight away, but you will know if you listen, and that's the wound you salt. Reluctantly let her reel your feined distrust back in and the first time she wants it, fuck her like a rodeo. After she can't walk and wants no more, get up, leave, and ghost the bitch.

RefrigeratorCute5952 · 2022-01-26T16:29:27+00:00

boundaries are huge when it comes to successful relationships

celio961 · 2022-01-26T16:32:48+00:00

Absolutely not. You’re better than this come on. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Break the cycle

bigbodi45 · 2022-01-26T18:51:46+00:00

nah. dont let people treat you in ways you dont deserve. dont even give her the time. Simple.

Acslaterisdead · 2022-01-27T01:09:40+00:00

That was the best thing you could have done. The less you say and do the more it will impact them. You handled it beautifully. You kept it short and to the point. That's how you deal with trash. So no it has nothing about being the bigger person. You have more important things to take care of. You don't have time for time wasters.

shinymusic · 2022-01-26T17:03:30+00:00

I love about of things about this subreddit but why does there has to be some much hate and resentment. Yes she got dumped by chad. Yes you WERE lower on the totem pole. That's life.

Inflicting pain in this lady shouldn't give you joy and the "high road" is really the key to happiness in life. That is not a cliche.

"Hey Lady, I appreciate you reaching out and apologizing. You are a cool chick but I'm in a good spot right now and not looking for anything relationship wise with you. Wish you well though and no hard feelings."

Crypt0Nihilist · 2022-01-26T17:51:29+00:00

She wants a salve for her conscience now she's finished having fun. She's had her cake and now wants to eat it.

She didn't deserve the hearing and it was well within your rights not to give it to her. Being the "bigger person" can be code for being a doormat. I think you made the right call.

To be honest, I'd have probably twisted the knife a little, saying that you know about her behaviour at the time, you've moved on and don't believe that people change enough for any conversation to be worthwhile.

When someone came to me asking for closure after she treated me poorly, I told her that it was unfair and unkind to treat someone she supposedly cared for like that, I forgave her but never wanted to hear from her again.

Buttamilk_Buscuit · 2022-01-26T20:27:50+00:00

I read your update in the comments and I must say, congrats, you handled it like a dignified man. In situations like this, there's no need to point fingers and get emotional as this gives her opportunity to gain power over the situation. Just being polite yet giving a firm decline in her offer will solidify her impression of you in her mind. She will know that she missed out on a decent guy because you could have been a jerk but chose not to be.

Not that it matter what she thinks of you, she's for the streets but it definitely makes you stronger for the next time.

almighty_nsa · 2022-01-26T17:04:22+00:00

Give her exactly what she wants => fuck her => ghost her. Only thing you can do if you dont wanna look like a fucking weak ass idiot.

Mmm91for · 2022-01-26T15:25:22+00:00

Tell her you miss her too and then block her

swardhan · 2022-01-26T14:50:28+00:00

I would just like to say that it's not about the bigger person.

If 2 ppl wanna stay together they stay together and find a way.

Of you give her the hearing she deserves she'll know how you actually feel about her end of story. Her chapter will be closed for you. You'll have nothing to say to her. and that is what I would suggest.

What she says after that will actually tell you how she is right now. And this interaction will be the clarity you both actually need for future and for the past.

Godsidious2 · 2022-01-26T23:26:55+00:00

shoulda gave her some dick and dipped bitch boy but you did the right thing tho kind bitch boy

Greatsage2021 · 2022-01-26T12:17:54+00:00

Get her to put it in an email and then decide

Tankerdood · 2022-01-26T16:05:12+00:00

Doesn’t sound like she’s going to be very loyal.

Human-City-8231 · 2022-01-26T18:08:43+00:00

Put her on the roster

GimmeDatPorn420 · 2022-01-26T18:15:04+00:00

Fuck that bitch! Give her a piece of her mind. Mad respect for handling it nicely as I wouldnt have.

caocao-martial · 2022-01-26T19:15:40+00:00

Say to her the thing feminists say. If u don’t stay with me at my worst, u don’t deserve me at my best ahhahaha

geonerd1310 · 2022-01-26T19:30:50+00:00

Invite her to a posh restaurant and don't show up!

1keentolearn12 · 2022-01-26T21:04:40+00:00

Have some standards and move on

determinator94 · 2022-01-26T22:13:33+00:00

I honestly wouldn’t have bothered replying at all. Also that’s female nature - going hot/cold, testing you, etc. Just accept it and know that you need to BE (not act) unfazed and indifferent.

cbh28 · 2022-01-26T22:25:28+00:00

That's up to you, OP. I think if you can mentally handle it, hear her out, people can change and can feel regret. That being said, I do not recommend going into it with the hopes or even the possibility of making up. You should never get back with her, no matter what, but if she's remorseful and wants to apologize, then why not hear her out. Though you gotta expect a lie, a manipulation, that's also a possibility. That's why I say it's up to whether you can handle it mentally, because if you think you'll be weak around her, then decline her hearing.

Genedog641 · 2022-01-26T22:31:30+00:00

You have two decent choices, the safest is just block her and never speak to her again, or get back with her use her for sex long as you need then dump her. Any decision to enter into any kind of real relationship will result in you getting hurt.

Neighborhood-Wild · 2022-01-26T22:48:06+00:00

Give her the hearing she deserves??? Man, listen to yourself. Don't be a fucking Dog. She used you and she cheated on you while never thinking about how you would feel. But hey, even if she thought about you while getting dicked down by another dude, then u just know she couldn't care less. Someone like this doesn't deserve a hearing or a conversation with you,because she is literally human scum. Have some self respect, otherwise u (in my opinion) deserve to be treated like a Dog, since you would act like one.

Kobe_curry24 · 2022-01-26T23:27:33+00:00

I would ask for an apology and see if you can smash lol then never speak to her again

Kobe_curry24 · 2022-01-26T23:28:42+00:00

Also sometimes People do make mistakes and If God can forgive so can we but somethings are meant for you to move on you dodge a bullet

Indianbro · 2022-01-27T00:07:22+00:00

In a similar situation, and I was friends with this girl for 3+ years, until she cut me off a couple months back and went radio silent since. Feels awful as we were really close. Girls like these do not deserve your time or attention. They belong in the streets. Ignore them like the plague, they have to earn it and do not deserve it "just because"

eyesopen1111 · 2022-01-27T00:08:31+00:00

Step 1: Read each advice idea given. Step 2: Ask, Will this advice get me laid? Step 3a: If "yes" or "maybe" then try it. Step 3b: If "no" then ignore the "advice" Step 4: Figure out who to listen to for advice based on Step 3a and 3b.

Parting question: if their advice in 3b isn’t designed to get you laid, then what is it designed to do? Why are they posting in a seduction forum if they can’t give you advice that helps you to seduce people?

egd408 · 2022-01-27T00:09:23+00:00

kill her mentally, only think to do

rofnacla · 2022-01-27T00:27:16+00:00

Pump and dump

vman1954 · 2022-01-27T00:50:34+00:00

Revenge can feel good. Tell her in a not so nice way you're not interested. .are her grovel

kekoreko02 · 2022-01-27T01:13:27+00:00

If she's desired from u why not one-time don't show ur real colours and enjoy her then leave here. If u still desired her

ShaidarHaran2 · 2022-01-27T01:25:45+00:00

Give her the hearing, maybe she becomes a better person out of it.

crimefightingloser · 2022-01-27T02:33:47+00:00

Saw the edit... been yeah. Good for you my brother.

tgm93 · 2022-01-27T02:57:03+00:00

Pump and dump

Title	Should I give her a hearing she deserves?
Author	Euphoric-Kale7802
Upvotes	189
Comments	92
Date	January 26, 2022 11:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sd4anv/should_i_give_her_a_hearing_she_deserves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-give-her-a-hearing-she-deserves.1268236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1268236

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